DreamMachineTeen Movie Critic - II is a Dream Machine Site
The Dream Machine --- The Imagination of the World Wide Web
Google
Teen Movie Critic

Home This Week's Reviews TV Reviews Radio Audio Clips Alphabetic Index Celebrity Interviews Hall of Flame Other Film Sites Feedback

Review of the day for the week of August 25, 1997.

Monday:
Leave it to Beaver

Leave it to Beaver
Buy this poster at
MovieGoods
This one should have stayed in black and white, forever remaining a show that played annoying reruns that few bothered to watch. But no, some idiot had to make it into a movie!

As most of you probably know, it's about the Cleaver family: Ward, June, Wally, and Beaver, i.e., the most annoying kid on the silver screen. He pulls stupid stunts that would never happen in real life, upsetting his perfect parents, and he gets on perfect older brother Wally's nerves.

Ward, the perfect father is unrealistic in that he rarely gets aggravated, let alone mad at his kids. June is downright sickening. She is apparently unaware that this is the nineties; women actually wear pants in this era, and they never vacuum in a dress and pearls. And the happy homemaker bit is too overdone. She bakes brownies, cooks fabulous meals and is the perfect mother. Please, I think I'm going to hurl! If that isn't bad enough, there is a subplot about Wally's first girlfriend which I found pointless and boring.

Leave it to Beaveris only good if you have small children, but, be smart, send them to the theater with their friends' parents.

My Rating = Two Stars

Rent


Tuesday:
Ulee's Gold

Ulee's Gold
Buy this poster at
MovieGoods
Ulee's Gold is a commendably well-plotted movie. It doesn't have special effects; it doesn't have a crazy plot or a bunch of aliens; and it isn't trying to get any points or morals across. It's just an enjoyable down-to-earth, believable story that nonchalantly grabs your attention.

Peter Fonda plays beekeeper Ulee, a man of fifty or so who looks much older and wearier. This is due to several, understandable factors: his wife died; his son is in prison; he has to raise his two youngish granddaughters, Casey and Penny; and, now, he also is caring for his drugged daughter-in-law. Oh, and some buddies of his former bankrobber,but now, imprisoned son want the "loot" that his son hid. Unlike his crooked son, Ulee has serious moral problems with handing over the money, (but he'd rather hand it over than have his granddaughters killed by these vicious 'buddies'), so he tries to find out the money's location from his son.

This is a good movie for anyone fed up with superficial movies based on special effects, plots that go nowhere, and actors who seem to be sleepwalking through their parts----this movie is a delightful change of pace.

My Rating = Four Stars

Rent


Wednesday:
One Fine Day

One Fine Day
Buy this poster at
MovieGoods
One Fine Day is your mainstream romantic comedy. Although it's not sensational, you can view it without crawling up the walls in a mind-dulling boredom - at least until the last ten minutes. (Have you ever noticed that the last ten minutes of a so- so movie always seem the longest?

Michelle Pfeiffer is a single mother who literally misses the boat one hectic morning - her son's class is taking a boat trip and she makes it to the dock just in time to watch the boat depart. At the dock, she runs into another straggling parent - single father George Clooney who is her exact opposite : irresponsible, easygoing, and, in my opinion, a better parent. Anyway, this equals instant fireworks because this is, after all, a movie. They continually bump into each other all day, accidentally swap cell phones, rely on each other for babysitting, and by the end of the day they're smooching on her couch. Not exactly realistic or even terribly inventive, but it has enough vaguely amusing scenes and a sketchy but adequate plot to rate a two.

My Rating = Two Stars

Rent


Thursday:
Money Talks

Money Talks
Buy this poster at
MovieGoods
Money Talks is as funny as the previews claim - and how often does that happen?

Franklin, a ticket scalper and part- time freeloader, is sent to jail (big surprise). After being framed by a fellow jailbird, Franklin escapes is soon wanted for MURDER. Nosy reporter John Russell gets the scoop because he'd previously interviewed Franklin about a car wash (although they couldn't air the interview due to Franklin's excessive cussing).

I couldn't stop giggling in this movie. It wasn't necesarily side - splitting, just continually amusing.

Note: I wouldn't advise taking little kids to this movie as the profanity is endless and just plain overkill. I lost count of how many times I heard a certain swearword used in the first five minutes, and that doesn't count all the other swear words continually shouted.

My Rating = Three Stars

Rent


Friday:
Ghosts of Mississippi

Ghosts of Mississippi
Buy this poster at
MovieGoods
Like Ulee's Gold, Marvin's Room, and Evita, this film has: plot, substance, and quality acting, all without special effects, aliens, blood and gore.

It also gets kudos for being based on a true story without being tiresome.

Merleye Evers, the widow of Medgar Evars, an African- American gunned down in his own driveway during the sixties, wants her husband's case reopened. She hopes that in the early nineties, a jury will find Delay Beckwith, the racist radical who murdered her husband and got off the hook, guilty . Attorney Bobby DeLaughter helps Merelye, much to the dismay of his racist neighbors in Mississippi.

This movie is pretty long, but it's definitely worth the two hours + in front of the screen.

My Rating = Three Stars

Rent


Saturday:
Murder at 1600

Murder at 1600
Buy this poster at
MovieGoods
Murder at 1600 is an unexceptional, uninspired film that was tolerable, but not especially enjoyable. (After the first hour, I stopped the videotape to check the run time, just to see how much movie time was left - I couldn't walk out because , after all it was a videotape , and you can't walk out of your own living room.)

A young woman is murdered in the White House. During the investigation, it is discovered that she had an affair with the president's son (and possibly the president himself). So who killed her? The chief homicide cop in charge of the investigation, with little help but many hindrances from the FBI, sets out to solve the crime. Murder in the White House is sticky business, of course, and he's reluctantly aided by a female Secret Service agent, who finds her loyalty to the Secret Service waning as the movie proceeds.

It wasn't that the action dragged, and became quite tedious, but the plot became confusing near the end. Again, the moviegoer is wondering: So, who killed her, already? After some confusion, when you finally know "who did it?, you really don't care anymore.

My Rating = Two Stars

Rent


Sunday:
Mimic

Mimic
Buy this poster at
MovieGoods
What I don't understand is why an accomplished actress like Mira Sorvino would waste her time littering the screen with a script like this. I mean, she won an Academy Award! You'd think she could find a better role!

Sorvino portrays Dr. Susan Tyler, an entomologist, or a bug specialist. In order to halt a deadly childhood disease, she crossbreeds two bugs to create a predator for the cockroach, which is now carrying the deadly disease. This eradicates the disease, but it leaves behind a new developing species crawling around, mutating, and enlarging in New York's "below-the- subway" subway system. Three years later, the bug has mutated and is now emulating humans - its predator. Yeah, right.

What it lacks in plot, it certainly doesn't make up for in special effects! All I saw was one bucket of slime after another. The bugs looked fake and plasticky. With the computer-imaging technology available today, you'd think they could do better!

My Rating = Two Stars

Rent


Back to Home Page
The Dream Machine --- Network Services
Gypsy's Photo Gallery

Cerzan

...the best independent ISP in the Twin Cities