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Reviews for the week of April 3, 2000.

Here on Earth

Here on Earth
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Here On Earth is an uninteresting teen romance/drama starring LeeLee Sobieski.

Sobieski plays a small town country girl who is very happy with her small town country boyfriend, Jasper. At least, she thinks she is - until a rich kid from a nearby school comes screaming into town in his expensive new car. He and Jasper exchange insults, and decide to settle their disagreement by racing their cars at a breakneck speed. Soon enough, they crash into a gas station, and while no one is hurt, the ensuing explosion and fire burn down a diner.

The two mad drivers are sentenced to help rebuild the diner. Great idea - make two guys who dislike each other work together. It's no surprise they soon get into a fight.

Then Sobieski falls for the rich kid, and can't decide who she likes better. The two fight for her attention. Each tries to convince Sobieski that he's the right guy for her.

What I don't understand is why neither guy is upset that Sobieski is a two-timing cheat. All they do is practically beg for her attention. They don't even mind that she cheats on them and can't make up her mind!

Okay, plot spoiler ahead. In the midst of this love triangle, Sobieski gets terminal cancer. I think the writers decided to kill off her character because they were running out of material and couldn't decide how to wrap it up. They figured it would be easier to settle the relationship issue if she was dying.

Here On Earth is boring and predictable. And although I'm not big on happy endings, the end of Here on Earth didn't impress me either.

My Rating = One Star


Return to Me

Return to Me
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And I thought David Duchovny was boring when surrounded by aliens, crop circles, and UFO's. Turns out he's even less interesting without them.

In Return to Me, Duchovny plays Bob, a construction worker whose wife is killed in a car accident. Her organs are donated for transplant, and the heart goes to Minnie Driver, a young waitress and artist. (By the way, do they really carry human hearts around in an ice chest?)

A year later, Bob meets Driver and they start dating - not knowing that she got his late wife's heart. When Driver discovers this fact, however, she worries that it will end their relationship.

The premise of Return to Me seemed a little far-fetched. Also, the film wasn't particularly thrilling, and the plot was fairly predictable. On the other hand, the actors were capable, and some laughable comic scenes added to the film's flavor. Also, some supporting characters, such as Driver's friends and her grandfather, are more interesting that the lead characters. However, Return to Me didn't strike me as spectacular. I'd see this one at matinee price.

Hey, I've got a great sequel idea, though. Return to Me 2: Duchovny dumps Driver for a woman who got his wife's kidneys, and Driver starts dating the guy who got the liver.

My Rating = Two Stars


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