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Below, we reprint some of the flames that Roger has received. Most have the return email addresses removed, since the writers have either learned their lessons or retreated into the cave of darkness whence they emerged. The first one, received only recently, still includes it. Perhaps you would like to give him your opinion. If so, just click on the email address or use it to send the respondent your views.
The letters are arranged in date order, newest first.
September 13, 1998
ROGER I WAS TOLD BY SOME TEEN CRTIC FAG TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT HIS SITE. SO TELL THIS TEEN CRTIC THIS FOR ME. I READ YOUR REVIEW ON DICE RULES, FIRST YOUR REVIEW IS WAY OFF. YOU SAY PEOPLE WITH AN I.Q OF 50 OR BELOW WILL LIKE THIS MOVIE, WELL STUPID THAT IS NOT CLOSE TO TRUE SEEN HOW DICE RULES WAS THE 14TH OR 15TH TOP SELLING STAND UP COMIDY TAPE OF ALL TIME. ANOTHER THING YOU CALLED DICE AN POOR EXCUSE FOR A COMEDIAN, ONCE AGIAN STUPID YOU ARE WRONG. DICE SOLD OUT MADISON SUQARE GARDEN TWICE FOR THIS COMIDY ACT. PUTTING HIM AS THE HIGHEST SELLING COMEDIAN EVER, ALONG WITH EDDIE MURPHY.
ANOTHER THING IS THAT YOU ARE A WANNA BE. YOUR A FUCKIN LOSER THAT IS WHY YOU ARE HOME SCHOOLED, BECAUSE YOU HAVE NO FRIENDS. EVERY GIRL THAT SAW YOUR UGLY FACE WOULD LAUGH. YOU WOULD GET BEAT UP EVERY DAY. THAT IS WHY YOU TOOK KICK BOXING, THINKING YOU COULD DEFEND YOUR SELF. BUT YOUR SORRY ASS STILL GOT TRASHED EVERY DAY. SO YOU CRIED TO YOUR MOMMY. THAT IS WHY SHE PULLED YOU OUT OF SCHOOL.
THE REASON YOU DON'T LIKE DICE IS BECAUSE HE MAKES FUN OF PUSSY FAG'S LIKE YOU. SO YOU GO ALONG WITH YOUR LOSER WANNA BE FRIEND CRITICS (BECAUSE ALL CRIRICS ARE LOSER JERK OFFS LIKE YOU AND ROGER EBERT) AND SAY HOW BAD DICE IS. TRASHING HIM BECAUSE HE MAKES FUN OF DIP SHITS LIKE YOU, THAT OR YOU JUST DON'T UNDERSTAND HIS JOKES BECAUSE THE ONLY ACTION YOU EVER GET IS YOUR RIGHT HAND AND YOUR BLOW UP DOLL.
IN CONCLUSION YOU ARE THE BIGGEST GAY WAD LOSER. YOU ARE HIDDOUS TO LOOK AT. AND YOU HAVE NO TASTE YOU PANSY ASS JERK OFF. SO GO FUCK YOURSELF... AGIAN. AND WHEN YOU ARE DONE E-MAIL ME BACK AT STRAUSBAUGH@DAILYNEWS.COM
Editor's hote: Here is Roger's rather standard reply to this type of letter:
I was just wondering. Are you Beavis or Butthead? I can never tell you two apart. Say, did your local Hitler youth organization teach you spelling and grammar or what? Because it sure looks like you proved my point about "Dice Rules." Only someone with an I.Q. of 50 would like that movie and only a total retard would take it THAT seriously. Remember to take your Prozac or whatever it is that keeps you from going on homicidal rampages.
A big Sieg Heil to you, oh uneducated-and-oh-so-stupid one.
A big Sieg Heil to you, oh uneducated-and-oh-so-stupid one.
Dear Fagget Roger,
First of all your come back was week. You knew all my points about Dice were right. That's why you could't come up with anything to disprove what I said about the Diceman being a secuessful comic, that every real man likes.
Second of what you said about me. Go Fuck Yourself. You just got mad because you know what I said about you is true. You are dushbag that has no friends. You also have never had a good looking girlfriend (I know I've seen your picture you ugly fuck) that is why you had to turn gay. Giving or taking it up the ass with one of you butt fucing buddies is the only kink of sex you will ever experence. Acually now that I think of it you will probly be on your knees alot suckin dick.
I guess I will hear from you later you no friended loser, who has to be homeschooled because your such a cum guzzling prick licking outcast, who likes it hard up the ass.
FUCK OFF, PUSSY
Your Pal Tommy
October 16, 1995
You are a fucking bitch. I agree with what has been written. I can see why you were teased. You are a geek. Oh, I meen NERD!!!!! Get a life. Why in the hell can't you go to a normal High School. No, you are too big of a nerd. You would be teased constantly. You would be in the NERD classes. I will fucking beat the shit out of you if you write back.
Go to HELL NERD
October 6, 1995
you guys are the biggest fucking morons i have ever seen in my life, how in the hell could you give army of darkness a bad review. I wish I was there so i could knock your ass out, you idiots
Jason (Z the Beast) Wilson
October 2, 1995
Since I'm most likely going to appear on your hate mail list, excuse me, Hall of Flame, I might as well speak my mind. I, too, am an avid film buff like you are. I respect the fact that you take the time to put up your own web page, and review a couple of movies a week for it. What irks me, however, is the fact that you play yourself off as as a boy genius, a Doogie Howser of cinema, if you will. I'll put it bluntly: you're not that good. In fact, you're horrible. Your reviews aren't reviews. Each one is a poorly written, sophomoric synopsis of movies that we've seen already. You provide no insight to the movies you review, and like I said, at least TRY to write on a movie that is somewhat new. La Femme Nikita? Then a separate review for its remake? You shouldn't try to come across as a decent critic, let alone a good one. Maybe you should try attending an actual school, rather than being home-taught, because you sure as hell aren't learning anything. Maybe if you wait a couple of years, at least long enough for me to forget you ever existed, and got yourself some adequate schooling, you could write nice, big, cutesy, meaningless paragraphs on movies we no longer care about because we've seen them multiple times. If you must do a movie that is more than a month old, at least try to make it a film nobody has seen before. How the hell did you get yourself on the What's Cool list I'll never know. I could watch a 30 second trailer of a film and write in more depth than you'll ever read, but then, you wouldn't understand those big words now, would you? Try acting like the child you are, because I just wasted two minutes of my life reading your worthless, asinine remarks, then having to reprimand you for realizing what an arrogant, little nothing you are. Stick with cartoons and Disney movie, kid, because you have a long way to go.
A. R. Hillis, a real writer.
September 18, 1995
My self and a fellow collegue wish to address some concerns about your pathetic attempt at your freaking homepage. There are manny spelllink miztacs: And baddy gwamma plus++ pinctuatshun. Bad Bad. Please finde yor miztax ande korekte them writte awaai! Plus your indictment of such wonderful family pictures as PoKe-'er-Honches. Dizzney has out done themselves with this uproarious splatter-fest. Oh God, Jaffee is here! Gotto go!?
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