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Review of the day for the week of February 10, 1997.

Monday:
Alligator (1980)

Alligator
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Of all the Jaws clones, this is both the best and the worst of the lot. It deals with a gigantic alligator, who is running loose in the sewers and the streets of Chicago, munching on the various people who pass by. Only a tough cop (Robert Forster) and a scientist (Robin Riker) can put a stop to the creature's eating habits, before it makes a complete mess of the city.

I'm really divided on this one. I think it's a good spoof on the cheesy monster films of the past few decades. The hilariously clunky effects are proof that the filmakers are not attempting to take their subject seriously. Still, there is the major problems of some really bad acting and times when the filmakers try to make it more of a full-blown horror film, and less of a spoof. It's not perfect and it's far from the greatest of horror films. It's the type of movie that has to be seen at a drive-in theater to be truly appreciated.

My Rating = Two Stars

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Tuesday:
Dune (1984)

Dune
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Heavily panned at the time of it's release, this epic adaptation of Frank Herbert's gigantic sci-fi novel is much better than most critics make it out to be. The story is set mostly on the desert planet Arrakis (A.K.A., Dune), where various peoples of the surrounding planets vie for the power of the 'Spice', a special mineral-drug that is important to the balance and order of The Universe. The people of Arrakis in the meantime are waiting for their Messiah Maud'ib, who comes in the form of young Paul (Kyle MacLachlan). He is the key to a secret of The Universe that will either destroy all or bring The Universe together.

Despite some obvious flaws, the film remains true to Herbert's book, has some great acting (especially Kenneth McMillan as the floating villain, Baron Harkonen), imaginative visuals and an impressive score by rock group Toto. Yes, it's overlong. Yes, it does get confusing from time to time. And yes, the cinematography is truly drab and ugly brown. But the story, characters, creatures and visions of Herbert's imagination still come out on top. Seemingly being one of a small handful of people who like the movie, I think it has to be seen more than once to be appreciated more fully.

My Rating = Three Stars

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Wednesday:
Nothing but Trouble (1991)

Nothing but Trouble
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Dan Aykroyd sure picked a doosy of a dud here when he decided to take up directing. Chevy Chase and Demi Moore play a mismatched couple, who are taken in for speeding in a virtually deserted town. The small hellhole is dominated by a moldy judge (Aykroyd) and various family members. From there on out, Moore and Chase try to escape from the clutches of the vile judge and his demented family. Then again, that's easier said than done.

This barely credits half a star, let alone a whole star, if not for the impressive sets. Everything else is horrifyingly unlikable. If the characters didn't seem like refugees from The Texas Chainsaw Massacre, then maybe I could let them off easy. But Aykroyd saddled himself with a incomprehensible script, a cast of mostly grade-Z actors (save for Moore, Aykroyd and John Candy in a dual role) and basically left the public a film just waiting to be crucified. Even the usually likable Candy can't help this stay afloat. Abandon ship, before it takes you down with it.

My Rating = One Star

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Thursday:
Enter the Dragon (1973)

Enter the Dragon
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Probably the all time greatest action star, Bruce Lee proves why he was one of the masters of martial arts in the movies, in his last film role before he died mysteriously at the age of 32. Lee plays a young fighter, who is called on to compete in a deadly tournament on an island full of deadly killers. Fortunately, Lee has a few amazing tricks of his own up his sleeve. And when he dishes it out to the bad guys, he dishes it out fast!

I don't think you should see this if you are expecting any logic, which is practically thrown out the window. Pay attention instead on some of the best stunt fighting ever captured on film. Lee shows why he was so popular and why his legend still lives on. He's quite charismatic as an actor-action star, and he was just on the verge of absolute stardom when he died in 1973. His son Brandon would suffer the same fate on the set of The Crow twenty years later. Lee was sort of the James Dean of action films. Lee will live on for a long time as a legend, thanks to continuous viewings of his great action films like this one.

My Rating = Four Stars

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Friday:
Rumble in the Bronx (1996)

Rumble in the Bronx
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Martial arts star Jackie Chan spent years trying to make a breakthrough in the United States. He finally did it with this hilarious action-comedy. Chan plays a man who has come to America to visit his uncle in the Bronx. The neighborhood his uncle lives in is heavily infested with crime, and Chan must go up against a powerful street gang. He gets himself into further trouble when he crosses the path of a brutal crime syndicate, looking for diamonds believed to be on Chan's person.

This is a perfect showcase for Chan, who does most of his own stunts. His unique combination of martial arts and Buster Keaton-type slapstick, will leave you wanting to hold your breath and bust a gut laughing at the same time. I highly recommend this work from Chan, who offers a more lighthearted approach to the typical shoot-em-up, kick-em-in-the-groin action fare.

My Rating = Three Stars

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Saturday:
Timecop (1994)

Timecop
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One of Jean Claude Van Damme's recent vehicles, it stars him as a police officer, trying to stop illegal time travel. His main job is to insure that the past is not tampered with, so as not to upset the future. But an evil congressman (Ron Silver), running for the office of the presidency, wants Van Damme out of the way, so that his own nefarious schemes will go according to plan.

This is a cut above the mindless action flicks that Van Damme usually stars in, mainly thanks to impressive special effects and Van Damme's excellent high kicks. But those are the only interesting things about this, so don't expect anything else to be original.

My Rating = Two Stars

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Sunday:
Under Siege (1992)

Under Siege
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Steven Seagal got his highest grossing film ever, with this ludicrous Die Hard rip-off. Seagal is special agent-turned cook Casey Ryback, who takes on an army of terrorists who've taken over the ship, U.S.S Missouri. The bad guys are lead by a suicidal madman (Tommy Lee Jones) and the mutinous Commander Krill (Gary Busey). Neither one count on lowly cook Seagal to be any trouble. But surprise! He takes on the whole lot of them and really screws up their perfect plans.

This does offer some good action sequences, but Seagal is such a bad actor and his stone-cold character is really hard to like. Busey and Jones come off better as the hilariously cartoonish villains, but almost anyone is better than Seagal when it comes to acting. Plus, much of the blood-splattering violence and action tend to get a little repetitive after a while. Still, if watching a butcher knife shoved into someone's head is your cup of tea, then be my guest.

My Rating = Two Stars

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