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Heather Young

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Ingleside, TX, US

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GoddessofReelBigFish@excite.com (Heather Young)

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And You Ask Me Why

by

Heather Young

I’m shivering with fear
Trembling in your arms
And you ask me why.
I’m shivering with fear,
Yes, I am scared.
Who wouldn’t be?
I am trembling in your arms tonight
And you ask me why.
You don’t know why I am scared.
You don’t understand me.
I’m trembling in your arms to night
And you ask me why.
I’m scared of what might come after this.

My Stupidity

by

Heather Young

For the first time I felt my heart would sink into a million pieces.
The thought of you laughing,
The thought of you crying,
The thought that I could have did this to you.
For the first time I felt that I could have really abused someone as beloved as you,
The thought of you holding me,
The thought of you kissing me,
The thought of missing you is piercing my heart like a million needles burning through my skin.
The pressure is building up.
All my thoughts come to one last thought that I can’t seem to get to leave my mind,
The thought of you.
I see it through your eyes every time that I look at you,
I can tell I hurt you, that I left a hole in your chest baring your insides to me,
But the ironic thing is that I am still missing you
And you are not missing me.
Every time that I look at you, I know I ruined something special.
And I will never hold something quite so special again.
I am not worth it.
I do not deserve something like you.
For the first time I felt my hands fall to the ground as a way to catch myself from completely withering away into the ground like a dead flower, brown and decayed.
My tears are hitting the ground and eating away at the corroded, mildewed ground like acid.
I miss you but you aren’t missing me.
I am lying here on the ground,
Crying for my own stupidity.
Thoughts of you are cluttering my mind and I can’t seem o think of anything but what I did.
Everything I think makes me ill.
I cry, and cry, and cry.
For my own stupidity and fear.
I don’t have you,
And you don’t want me.
My heart has been pierced a million times more by your memory and what I have done to you slowly kisses my burned skin with fire and ignites it again and again until I am nothing but ashes.
My brain has eaten away at my soul.
I don’t want to think of you anymore.
I hurt because I hurt you.
For the last time I felt your hands slip away and the last time we talked,
I missed you then, miss you now, and always will.
For my own stupidity, for my own fears.

Pointless Poem

by

Heather Young

A dam has held the raging rivers for hundreds of years.
A bridge has stood tall over the bays, rivers, lakes, and oceans.
An eyelid has closed trying to protect her face from being suffocated by tears.
An eyes lash has fallen upon her cheek, caught by the bridge between reality and fantasy.
Once again, she has felt another hundred years pass like a day in your lover’s company.
Her hands have fallen so tired,
Her eyes have become too weak,
She can no longer stand tall,
Her back has fallen into a pit of agony,
Who says beauty never ages?
It takes too much to hold her head up high.
One too many lovers have laid on her satiny, white sheets.
Her lovers don’t know their fate.
An abstract painting is the only memory left after the fire.
Upon the rubble and ash, the painting was left untouched by the fire’s ugly hand,
The only memory of her once know existence is now upon the ashes,
Who said beauty never ages?
All the money in the world can buy you a lover,
All the money in the world can get you any thing that you think you want.
All the money in the world can’t save you from Mother Nature.
Who said beauty never turns into the beast?
After all the dams and bridges are broken,
After every eyes has cried its last tear,
After Beauty has become the Beast,
After life has become fair,
That is when my love will end.

Remember

by

Heather Young

I woke up this morning sweating profusely from a dream that had plagued upon my brain all day and night, like some medieval torture chamber, trapped in my head.
The, I received the phone call about your death,
My Dream.
What was I supposed to do with myself after your death?
I couldn’t just pick up my heart out of the gutter and move on like a cold-blooded killer.
I remember lying on my bed praying that you would come back to me, if only for a few moments,
So, I could tell you what you never got to hear.
As I sat on my bed, naked and oblivious to the fact that my life still went on, I remember what you had said to me the night I left, and I began to cry again.
I don’t know where I found the strength or even the tears, but I cried.
As everyone just sat there watching me slowly die, I realized that you where never coming back.
I must have stayed in my room, locked away, for weeks.
I don’t even remember the dates.
As I laid unconscious on the hard ER table, watching the doctors try to save my worthless life,
I wonder why they even tried.
It is not like I wanted to be alive.
I’d just do it again.
I looked around and saw my mother’s face and the blood on her shirt.
I began to wonder why I was there,
Was I dead or was I alive?
I looked at my body,
Just lying there,
My skin was ghostly pale purple
And my wrists were a deep, scarlet red.
And then I remembered why I was here.
I saw my body lying in the white bathtub,
And the white tiled floor,
The white shower curtain,
The white towels,
Except they weren’t white any more.
I looked in the tub and saw a knife at the bottom of the tub,
The water was a weak red color and the faucet was still running.
I saw my family standing there in shock, looking at me like I was a ghost_
In horror or shock, I don’t know which one.
I looked the devil in the eyes and told him I was not ready yet,
And then I saw the look on Kevin’s face when I slowly drifted away back into my body.
Now I am sitting at this brown, wooden table
On this hard plastic chair,
Talking to a person, I don’t even know.
Simply because he couldn’t say no.

Upon a Dream

by

Heather Young

The sky was drifting towards the ground.
The pink, spiraled clouds where falling towards me.
The purple back round was sucking up all of the mysteries
And all of the doubt I once had.
Like a vacuum cleaner to the floor.
The spiraling skies where falling to the ground like a tornado,
Sucking up everything that it wanted in its path.
So, it took me up and spun me around like a piece of dirt in the air.
Nothing too abrupt.
There where no others like this day.
There are no replacements for the time I spent there.
I was lying on my back,
The sun was shining bright upon my face,
When the sky came and asked me to ride upon
Its golden wings of sunshine.
Its white puffiness led me far away from here,
Far away from you or me.
The flowers where blooming so calmly,
So forgivingly.
Everything that I had once known was now forgotten
In my haven,
In the sky.
My heaven.
My worries,
My fears,
Where all dried out
And the sky liberated me of them
Like a drain does to water.
Like a pink spiral of clouds floating down the drain
With everything I once knew upon them.
The sky was falling on my face,
Rescuing me from this hallow, tedious place.
The clouds where caressing my hands,
My face,
Washing away all of my tears,
All of my fears,
All of this
Upon a dream.

Yesterday, Today, and Tomorrow

by

Heather Young

Two strangers at a glance,
Two dreamers in the night,
Two lovers by the light,
I promise to always hold you tight,
All throughout my life.
Hold my hands and tell me that you love me,
Kiss my lips and I will tell you that I love you too.
Listen to my heartbeat and it will tell you that is beats just for you.
Look into my eyes and tell me what you see-
Is there a future for you and me?
I love you today,
I will love you tomorrow,
Please stay with me,
Or I will be brimming full of sorrow.
I know we are playing this by ear,
But how could we resist a powerful undertow of fate?
Maybe today,
Maybe tomorrow,
You’ll hold me forever,
And we will never know such sorrow.
Is all of this true,
Or I am I still dreaming?
Please don’t hold back any of your feelings.
Yesterday came,
Today has departed,
Tomorrow is coming,
What are our two hearts humming?
Is there a chance for our romance?
Could this be what our two worlds are coming to?

Dark Rainbow

by

Heather Young

I was lying in the dark; the wind was whispering and rolling across my body.
In my ears, the grass whistled like some mystic tyrant.
As I dazed into the unyielding black sky, I saw a dark rainbow peering at me.
Against, the black and blue sky, there stood the rainbow in my dreams.
Unsure of what this wonder was I go up and walked away into eternity’s warm, comforting arms.
As I stood there, gray clouds enclosed me.
I floated away, towards the dark rainbow.
As I got closer, the colors became clearer.
It was like a picture perfect painting, waiting to explode.
Sitting on the gray clouds, I could feel the wind pushing me to a New World.
The wind was whirling and rolling across my body and my hair looked like a tornado formed above my head.
Then, I was there upon the rainbow.
Its unusually dark colors were so intriguing to me.
The Purple almost turned completely black, like the mask of death.
The Blue had become this beautiful midnight clue that seemed to dance upon the next shade, green.
The Green was a hunter green. It had great contrast to all the other colors. It was in its own, a completely new world.
The yellow turned this ugly mustard color and made this gleaming spark that left an iridescent tail behind it.
The Orange was burnt orange; it made the mustard color easier to stand.
And my favorite was the red; it had turned this deep, dark scarlet.
It looked like velvet blood upon the black night sky.
Intrigued by this, I never again came back down to Earth and now I am finally happy in my dark rainbow.

Skies

by

Heather Young

For skies are beautiful, full of desire and mystical wonder. They are never redundant and never a bore. For skies, have many shades. For the blue, we have the desire to fly. For the evening pink, we have the desire to fall in love. For the purple in the midnight sky, we have the wonder of our imagination. For out minds are the only link to the Earth. If it were not for out vivid imaginations we would parish eternally like a starving pariah. We would become automatons, working day and night, never once staring into the mesmerizing, mystical sky because we are afraid of falling off into the red core of the Earth. I am thankful as I stare off into space not alone, but with you. I am not afraid to lose myself in you

My Misery

by

Heather Young

I felt I have been mutilated into microscopic pieces, until there is nothing left of me.
I don’t know what happened with my body, but you probably know because you took it from me.
You took my heart in your hands,
I am a prisoner of your demented love,
You had a chain around my soul,
Guiding it around,
Like a slobbering dog on a chain,
Taking me wherever you wanted it to go.
And when you didn’t want it, you just simply let go of the leash.
I feel like you shot me through the heart and put a bomb in my body,
You watched me explode.
My emotions are scattered upon the floor,
Tattered and torn by my misery.
God said I’d never love and I guess that much is true,
Because you left me here all alone,
Now I feel abandoned,
I have no where to go,
No one to love,
And no one to love me.
I guess I am the unwanted piece of flesh that is bound to walk the Earth,
Looking but never to find.
I am standing here in my misery,
With this huge hole in my chest,
Because you grabbed it by the chains and ripped all my insides out,
then left them lying right in front of me,
To look at and see that I am nothing but misery.
I’ve fallen to my knees and I am begging you to pull the trigger;
Take away my life.
Others say,
"Oh, you’re such a perfect girl, with such a perfect life."
If you only knew what runs deep inside of me.
Every time I hear someone remind me,
"Oh, you have nothing to worry about, everything’s perfect for you."
It makes my blood boil, my eyes shoot fire, and I want to scream.
If you only knew what runs deep inside of me.
You are in me.
You’re in my heart,
Stuck in there like some fatty substance that won’t come off.
You’re in my life and you won’t go away.
I am afraid to let my feelings go but I know you won’t ever love me,
Never have,
Never will.
It’s ironic,
My Misery,
I guess I will always be the unwanted child,
With a small emotional fee.

No Soul

by

Heather Young

I see them walking around,
No Soul,
No Eyes,
They are simply slaves of the average working force.
Their minds are hallow,
Too empty to care they have no soul.
Look into their face,
There aren’t any eyes.
It is just a skull with two big black holes walking around.
Cold and Numb to everything.
To realize that I am one of these narcoleptic people,
Numb to the world,
Numb to love,
Is like stepping onto a rusty nail barefoot,
But wait,
I have not any feelings.
I am a slave to your medieval, chauvinistic ideas.
I walk around filling the wishes of this higher power.
This none sense of an idea that I am nothing and that he is actually something.
They say believe in what you can’t see.
I have not any eyes, I can’t see him, and I am pretty sure I don’t believe.
Why should I believe in what you do?
No soul.
Why should I believe in what puts below the average scumbag of the Earth?
I am afraid I am not as numb as you’d like me to be.
So what do I do?
I am going to punish you.
Now it is time for your medieval torture!
You’ll wish you had no eyes and no soul,
See but I don’t.
I have no conscious!
I don’t care about you!

Deceitful

by

Heather Young

Close your eyes and look at all the things that fill your mind.
Plug your nose and smell the squalid aroma filling the deceitful, subverted air.
Shut your mouth and tell the world just how I seem to ruin everything without even lifting a finger.
Hold my hands and lead the way; the hand you hold is the hand that holds you down.
Dress me up and I’ll tear you down to little shrivels of nothing.
Bundle up and care for me, I’m the deceitful in disguise.
I’ll take your heart; I’ll take your soul; I’ll leave you feeling like you’re in control, but you’re not. I’ll ruin you.
The best things in life lead me to want to die.
No one can help what I’ll do to you.
Stay away from this evil, deceitful demon. I’ll kill your soul, take your eyes from out of your skull, and leave you crying though the holes left in your sorry, confused face.
I’ll leave you a soulless, faceless, innocent bystander that didn’t deserve this at all.
Take off your shoes and walk across the fire that stands between you and me.
My fire, my rage will burn your feet to ashes and I’ll walk away laughing.
Hold your breath and let me give you your last, long kiss of death.
My venomous lips will steal every last dying desire and every gasping breath.
I am fire; I am evil and deceitful. Do not trust me. Are you breathing now?
I’ll watch you die and not enjoy it at all.
I’ll abandon your body and leave with your soul.
Hold your anxious urge to kill me and let me free.
I’ll talk my trash and let you believe that I am sorry.
You’ll hold my limp body in your arms and feel yourself spontaneously combust into the fire in my soul.
You’ll hold me as your fire grows warmer and more deadly.
Nothing can kill me. I am already dead.
I’ll close my eyes and look at you. I’ll see you there tormenting me. I deserve it.
The excruciating pain has wounded me by all the responsibility of hurting all those innocent people.
Close your eyes and look around at all the things that fill your mind.
Plug your nose and smell the pungent aroma filling the deceptive, spoiled air.
Shut your mouth and tell the world just how I seem to ruin everything without even lifting a finger.
I am breathing. I am living deep within your soul. I am deceitful. I am you.
You’ll abandon my body and carry on the legacy of dubious harm.
The bacteria has taken over your brain, it has taken over your body.
You conscious kills you.
I am deceitful.
Closed eyes and breathless words leave me in control.