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Lara Turner

of

London, England, UK

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The Reason i Live

by

Lara Turner

I endure the monotony
Of this,
This sad existence
For one reason alone
You
You saved me with
All your gracious acts.
Time and time over.
And your reward was forthwith.

Slaps in the face and heart.

Your love you professed.
I,
Listening to my own
Palpitating muscle
Ignored my judgement.
Believed you as only
I could.

Your promises of
longevity:
of everlasting coupled happiness.
As hollow as
I now feel.
Oh,
How this sickly romantic
Prays for their renewal.

No small feat.

For ítis for you I live;
That I carry on
to do so
in the dream;
the curious hope
that in our futures we will
once again become
entwined.

For you are the reason
I continue with the living.


when it is my time

by

Lara Turner

Stasis has got me in its icy clutch
I cant move, think or feel
I am locked here behind this glass, behind this world,
The view is torturous, showing me all I wish for, so far out of my grasp.
This darkly dangerous creature in its confine,
Experimented with, stared at, sexualised, demoralized and humiliated.
All of it would mean nothing to me if only I could see you, feel you, kiss you
I feel so oogie,
So lonely, though Iím surrounded by people
All these eyes upon me, I see their thought and I want to tear them out, they offend and defend me without pause for thought.
There is a draft behind me, I thought it was you
But my stealthy captor has taken your place
He is shrouded and silent as the shooting star,
Elegant yet menacing,
Others dub him cruel things, but he is vigilant with me,
To me he does not deserve his names,
Despite being my captor
I love him,
Embrace him
But he will not take me,
Tells me the time will come, but it is not yet at this juncture
I invite him in when I am wretched,
And he plays with me, toying and sly, keeping me on the verge and throwing me back
He is always right,
He will take what is his when he deems it time.
And mine is not here.
But when it is I will put in a good word for all the others,
The ones who call him grim.
True he is the reaper, but grim?
How can one whose sardonic smile lights up my stasis be accused grim?
I say nay.
He is my friend and he will take me when it is my turn.