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Amber Rae Trowbridge

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Las Vegas, NV, US

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Letter to the Deceived: Amanda Bento

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

if you think what you're saying
matters to me at all
you culd never be more wrong
you didn't even take the time
to ask me why
you just faked like you weren't mad
hugged me good-bye
and then talked behind my back
If you were nice enough to listen
You wouldn't have done those things
or wrote that poem
This is more like a letter to you

The Deceived One
You like to think you were decieved or lied to
so you have something to cry about
WE all know your life is so perfect
THat you get bored and have to get
Hurt by someone who didn't do a damn thing to you

Juicy?!?!?

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

You say these words
thinking you're so freaking cool
but do you know
people are talking behind your back
because you're saying the things
they just said
the exact same way
being a poser and being a fake
we all know you are
so we whisper that you aren't
cool enough to be their friends
So you're shunned
because you followed the pack
i'm so sorry for you
because i was before you
in this tragedy

Fresh

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

Couldn't see beyond the pain
Dewlling everyday
i felt as if i was a one person
army
fighting in a black hole
surviving alone
holding my headf up high

to see a dark sky

no hope

faith was above me
You'd talk to me
as if i was alive
as if i could hear you now

beckoning me to be interested
in happeiness and joy

How can I speak of something
Alien
to me

stop trying to help
when i'm already dead
stop asking if i ever heard
what you said

All i heard was you
Telling stories of chaos

you dont' tragedy
you don't feel rejection
You couldn't recognize bitterness
if the sun died out
And left us all cold and
Lonely.
You would still smile at me as I screamed.

Untitled

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

I thought you said you cared
but now you're just gonna end up leaving me here
Standing with nothing to get me by
Holding on to one little thread
I have to deny every offer
Given to me now
Because it doesn't suit you
Right

I read it Amanda

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

If you're trying to stop what I have begun
Our battle has not stopped
At least for me
Its pathetic that you're giving up just to cease the war
You were laughing as you wrote that
Saying that I'm the winner
When you still think you're decieved and tricked
You're so judgemental
oh yes...but so am I
so knock it off

I'm sorry so just forget it now

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

I want to say sorry to you
Cause I blamed you
for doing something I did too
Its foolish of me to
scream at you
when I should step back and take a look at me
I see that I am you in a different world
Saying things the same
PLaying the normal game
You're just better at it than me
So I call you a
Winner
and I'm sorry for ever calling you the loser
You're not and I am
Forgive me
for ever lying

But the last time you though I was lying
I was telling you all the truth
You just didn't want to ask
It's ok now
Because now I hope we're all going to leave ot behind us
Now that we're friends

I love you amanda bento and amanda burrono!

Ray

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

Does he still lie in his bed
Thinking about me
Like he did when I was near him

What have I done to him now?
I think he hates me but I'm not sure
He doesn't know the truth
And I don't have the chance to tell him ever again

The last time I saw him

I was trying to tell him

That I would always love him

I would hold him in my heart

Forever
And never let go
NO matter what.

Two years ago

Sitting on the yellow slide

Talking in 5th grade

Love language
trying to ask the things that meant most to me then

Now I know that they were meaningless

I said some stupid things

And now I can try to say sorry
In my best way
But nobody can go back to you
]And tell you how I feel right now
All alone

Trying
Looking
For someone

Like you

Can't Tell:Amie Coyne

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

I'm not sure
I hope you're talking about me when you say you want to help
Because I really need someone to help
And I miss you so much

Even in a big place like this

I can't find anyone who's like you
YOU'RE one in a million
I won't replace you
You're the only person who says FOO the cool way

I love the way you roll your eyes at Mr.Austin

Sometimes I would look at you
And wonder
"How could anyone try and copy her?She's so original,it would be hard to think the thoughts of life the way she does!"Yes Amie Coyne,this is to you

From Amber
I don't know if you're still my friend
I don't care!I still miss you!

Pain in Vegas

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

Kept in house
One contact to the outside
I'm alone with you
And I'll never get away
Trying to find something
To keep myself busy

I cry myself to sleep
My melody to disturbing dreams

Every time I close my eyes
I'm back in that place
Fighting the same battles
With the same people

Walking the same hallways
Listening to the same boring teachers

How do I let that horrible town go?
I hate,I hate it!!!
Happy days
Are what I thought would be
Awaiting for me but
Its just a big dark pit
I've fallen into.

Missing The Pieces:to amand burrono

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

your'e a part of me
you're the only one who can see the help
I really need
then you give it to me

If I could say sorry a million times,
catch my breath
and aplogize a trillion times over
I would
I would die saying
you're the only person who knows me
And really wants to find the missing pieces of me

But the missing parts of me
Are the loss of you

Crashed And Burnt

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

we are in line
waiting for the next amusement
because we're so bored
we'll hate on anyone
to hyp each other up
i don't know what to say to you
When you look at me and ask me why
i did some stupid things
i don't know how to feel
when you ask me
Whats up
with all this crap
so take a number
fighting these voices in your head
trying to prove yourself
to yourself
You sit in front of your mirror
Pulling off
your smart-ass lines
You listen to your music
and shake your stuff
like the prettiest girl in your pretty little world

Standing by your friends
Thinking
that your life's so sad
because now you feel vulnerable
to them
Because you're out of your simplictiy revolved bubble
And can't burst your way to the upper forces

You're life's so sad.

Familiar Face?

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

Don't tell me
What you think I want to hear
Because I don't know you
I've never talked to you
So being my friend
isn't an option

I'll reject you
Right when I see you

Don't smile
Cause I'm not happy

Back Off
Or you'll get knocked down
So being friendly
isn't logical to me right now

What makes you
think that I can be
the type of person that I hate
Pracin' around
Acting like my life's freaking wondeful
is pissing me the hell off

So what makes you certain

You know me
And you've seen me before?

What makes you think
I'm a familiar Face?

DeadSexEd

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

Crazy...
About nothing
i'm just sitting here
Listening to the wind
The rain
The breeze that's taking me over tonight

I look you
in the eye
and wonder if I
could find a reason
]to keep holding back
Is it your hands
that are so gentle?
Could they save me
if I was ever in danger?
Or is it that twinkel
that sparks a fire
Deadly
Sexy
Its something tempting me
into a tangeled web
until I'm dead

Back Bone

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

issues
of humanity
Monsters
on the street
wonderign around
like home is somewhere in the sky
They keep looking up
to see if it has fallen down yet
Because the world
Is crumbling
there's nothing in this place to stop me from
diving into the water and never coming out
I've only spent time enough for thought
in two places
I wish i could forget them both
people i hate
people i love
aren't any different
they are the same
So i can't decide to hate or love
myself
because i'm just like them

but in a different town
I'm sliding downhill
but singing upward
hoping someone will hear my voice
And bring me back to
to a place where I can get something that I've been craving lately

Oh so now you care?

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

Oh
Its time for you to play the role
Of sadness
Oh
its time
for you to cry a crocidille tear
oh
so you don't write to me
after i say sorry
Its ok
I don't give a damn
You're 7000 miles behind me
In a life I hate the most
And you're apart of it
If you're thining of me
That's so sad
because
why dream of something you're never gonna see again
You have no chance to say these things to my face
So stop trying to make me guilty
Stop thinking of me
I want to put that place away
And take you along with it

You're not changing your ways
You were part of the miserable times
and you'll stay the same
I'm evolving from the person I used to be
I'm not your friend
i'm gonna stop right now
I'm not gonna think of you

Open

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

You're the type
I thought i'd get over soon
you're the kind
i'd forget to have in my memories
i thought
i knew you
but i didn't know me
without you
or what my mind would do
if you weren't behind my shadow
lurking somewhere
wathching my evey move
sometimes i thought
you heard my mind
making wishes
at night
laying in bed
forgetting friends
and promises
just remembering the way
you looked today
And how you said hello
not to me
because i'm invisable
but to girls worth mention
they'd toss their hair
and bat their eyes
Pass a smile
and count the moments
that you spent
studying their
bodies

How can I forget you?
You're not the same as others
"other people"seem to be every where
"other people" are everyone
that isn't you
No one else means much to me
I can't say it again
I can't say I don't love you
because i've got to let it go
Keeping it inside is just
Crushing my heart even more
So I'll say it again,i'll be open
about it

I Love You

My Precious Angels

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

were you a gift
hidden inside a burning burden
were you guiding me
or killing me
down an empty alley
was it help
you offered me
or was i being gullable
to fall into your trap
i can't se on to my shoulder
so you'll have to tell me
are you the illness
or the medicine
are you wathcing over me
or pulling me in to a hole
are beside me with a kind word
or behind me,jabbing your knife in my back

the sky
looking down on the ground
My heaven can't be that far away from
my hell
i don't know where to go
or where i belong
i don't know where to go
or where i belong
i don't know who you are
or who to follow

Devil

Rebel

wings
sweet candy

My Divine Demonds

My precious Angels

ISN'T-IS NOT-WAS

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

Hear me now
Feel the passion
Spreading across the room
can't you see the past in front of you
in a replay motion
begging you to fix the impossible
you don't reach out
you don't try
you sit back and suffer
in your ocean of complete tranquility

how can you love if you were never loved?
i don't want to trust you to want my company
it scares me to know you wouldn't be who you are now
if i didn't come along
to wreck your big
fantastic
plan
if i wasn't
if i'm not
if i never could have been
it might've came to play better
than what you've got now
richer
happier
lonelier
but still content
without a heart
without me

Perfect

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

I am but I'm not
I'm lost though you see my standing here
I stood by you as I wondered away
You know me but never knew I wasn't real

I lied
I broke the promise
To be myself

I wasn't perfect
I was cold
I was lonely though you were right in front of me
You tried so hard at all the things I never cared for

I gnored my needs
And thought I was the same
you gave all the things
You thought I wanted
But I didn't

When I was sad
You'd ask me what was wrong
But didn't listen
so I stop telling you

Isn't what we have just perfect?
Neither of us care about anything
Yes,its just perfect

Slipping Away:Amanda Burrono

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

I used to say"I love ya"when we'd get off the phone
Now I just say "bye" and hang up the phone without a reply from you
i can't stand living like this
you're my best friend in the world
I just can't see you ever
its forbidden by the most screwed up rules and obligations
do you feel this way?
you used to put"xoxoxoxox"at the end of every e-mail
You would send to me
bUt lately they're short
But not sweet
I don't know why I don't put "You're BFF"at the bottom of our IMS when we get done
Its just like
You don't feel the same
Its the vibes I get when I talk to you
I can't say I feel that way when I look at you
because I haven't looked at you in years
except in my pics that I've hung up on my wall
in my black black room

I love you
and i miss you dearly
speaking to you every day isn't enough to fill this whole in my heart.

you dont know anything

by

Amber Rae Trowbridge

you say you know how i feel, you dont...
stop saying you know, when you don't know anything,
i am sick of all of your lies and promises
treat me the same as everyone else... it's NOT fair
you say life is not fair, bull shit some people are living a greatlife in some big house getting spoiled as hell.... just stop... you dont know anything!