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Queenstown, New Zeland

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Nightly Heart break



I lay in my bed at night my mind racing with past events,
A flock of memories flood my mind,
My emotions take hold of every memory iv ever saved,
My face caresses the soft pillows as it catches my tears each night,
The battles I have been through seem unreal,
Your face fills my mind,
I hate you,
You made me love you and then in an instant hate you,
The pain you caused me,
The damage you dealt out to me,
My heart lays broken in so many pieces God himself does not know how to fix it,
Here I lie battered and broken,
Never wanting to love again in fear of being hurt,
Yet secretly yearning for a love that will make me whole again,
You have changed my whole being I am no longer myself but a shell of what I use to be,
How many more ways could you rip my heart out,
So you get to be happy and I don't ?
Karma will see to it that you feel my pain that your pillow is your sole comfort in life the only thing to mop up your tear stained face and muzzle your cries of despair,
One day you shall lie every night and cry yourself asleep just to wake up and do it all over again, your own personal brand of hell!
You made me weaker but from my weakness I have risen and on my podium of triumph I stand able to love again and smile and still my most special comfort is my pillow I lay my head against every night , sweet sleep awaits.