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Alexcia Van Staden

of

Capetown, Western Province, South Africa

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Dear ?

by

Alexcia Van Staden

How can I explain my feelings towards him?Where can i start? Where can you start to unravel the entanglements of my frustrated and knotted heart. A heart that feels so full it could burst and infect the surrounders yet, it is a heart that feels so empty that all the love of every man could fill this bottomless chasim.

This knott of uncertain truth that is my heart has no beggining. Its forever beggining begins in mists, mists which hide and emptily fill the cup of pumping red wine. Wine unlike the joyfull quencher. No this wine seeks out those deepest, quietest, lonliest part of the oyster and starts eating the fullest for the emptiest and in turn taking my joy and filling my emptyness with pain, unthinkingly longing. Longings I'll never satisfy. Am i to scared? Scared of a starless evening? An evening where his smile does not brighten or force my own is as a star who has lost its twinkle, a star that is about to fall!

Has our star died? Is it fading? Has it burnt its brightest moment?Have our destinies begun to turn?Are we to let this rosebud just die and fade into everlasting nothingness a sunless sky of beadless white? Look to the sun, the sky, the sea, let the wind take you, fly away into a friendship only the moonshine could fathom, could brighten, could charm. Moonshine, moonlight, starshine, silver sparkles of life, light and love. Love that can never be explained.

Love that has escaped my sunless, starless heart. Have you stopped believing, trusting even hoping? could you have ciesed to pump life?Oh blue cold hard stone have you you dried in this ageless cave?