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Nantes, France

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tried so hard to fall away
made attempts to pick you up
you tell me of times you trusted those instincts
but questions help conclusion.
How do you know the value of those instincts, when you don't even know their worth?

We've tried so hard.

You can open your arms when you see I'm lonely
You can open your mind when I need your thoughts
You can open your heart when I'm crying
But you just can't break it all out.

Afraid of leakeage, it's such a pity.

When you know it's all going down that hole anyway.

You still want to pick me up,
but you can't even get yourself off the ground.

And you fret.




Ran away is running away from these of my dreams I let the tides wash over me.

But this is weakness.
And this is what I should not be.

Letting in, giving out, irrelevancy is my sleep.

But the nights are getting shorter.

And we sleep in these fits, relevancy is taking over for the times and we start to begin to wonder and we start to begin to die and we start to end to exist and we start to begin to forget and the cycle goes on and on and on and on and on and on

It's how other lives begin to entangle my own.
And I can't manoeuver like I should.
But this is life and I will not accept it any other way.
But this is life and I won't deny it.
But this is life and how should I accept this?

By letting go, giving in, spilling out, falling away.
Standing up, sitting down, laying still, just giving in.
Resistance will build your muscles, but you're not going to use them for anything, you knew this already.

But you'll tread that water, keep your head above the tides, keep the faith, live your life, it's your life.

But you knew that.

passing crows



crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow
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crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow corn crow crow crow crow crow corn crow crow crow crow moose crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crow crows crow crow crow crow hate crow crow crow crow crow crow love crow crow crow crow hate love differenciate.

fuck your god



Fuck everything you like to fucking fuck
shit that you think you need, fuck it all
fuck all your porceline swaggering emotions
fuck absolutely everything you think is your life

'cause your GOD, that HOLY and MAGNIFICENT creature is just you talking to yourself
so FUCK YOUR god and SHIT on your unstableness
FUCK what you think will happen when you die
you won't accept responsibility for your life, so you fall to your knees and pray for acceptance, well fuck it all

I don't want to be reminded of this,
all of what I don't like, you always manage to become.
and so I'm angry.
And so you try to SHED some LIGHT in my EYES from your GOD
he's taking from you what should be yours.
Stop fucking mumbling to yourself, you miserable fuck
start taking responsibility for yourself

Fuck your god, 'cause he's been fucking you for your entire life.
Fuck your god, 'cause you've been fucking yourself over your entire life.

Fuck 'em all.




Trade the times for a glass of hope
Trade your life for faith
Trade family for a dillusion of grandure
Trade love for regret
And this is heartache.

Losing isn't wrong, but what's right?

Taking the cobwebs from my eyes, gaging at my intolerance
the light is like the stars
as numerous as your faces
that break my heart with every change
breaking hearts feel like a suction
from a hunger of the wolf
who hunts the blood
that's red like passion
from the love I once showered upon you.

I can't help feeling like I've been here before.
But I need this to learn.
You help me learn.




seperating the falsities
trying to differenciate what's black and what's white
it never used to be like this
that trust I could always give into
that I could die in god's loving arms
and the anger I felt when he told me to die
and the confusion I felt when everyone told me to stop talking to myself

we will spend lives kneeling to our idols
those voices of perfection beckoning us, tempting us
we will always feel so ackward; so freakish

another one falls from his stance
he is beckoned by the lord
oh, well. Goodbye
hope you're having a better time
a billion excuses for what we should be
and we can only remember those who get away
it makes me think we're sheep.
the lord must love me the most,
'cause he's always taking me behind the barn.
sometimes his son follows, but the lord is so loving
how could I imagine it any other way?
this is life and what should be good has melted with the bad
no good; no bad.
freedom from the consequences
we'll feel too angry
but anger never helped anyone
supress that rage and wait for your time
stay on your knees and stick those hopes in your mind
maybe deliverance is better than temptation
and maybe it's all bullshit.

I can't stop from raving
I'm so angry
it's how life never used to be this way
I'm feeling so cheated; so freakish
try to drown my sorrows
of a life too unreal

make me proud, son.

drunk and happy



I'm drunk as I speak.
Maybe it's because I am sick or stupid
maybe it's because I'm silly or weak
maybe it's because I've had an abusive childhood.
or maybe it's because I think this world is full of bullshit with gods that take control, even though they aren't alive and I hate my life because of this and I want to die and being drunk is the closest thing to that without taking my life.

excercising words



je vous deteste...
le dieu, je te deteste
toute le monde, je vous deteste

je ne veux plus...

arretez avec tes problems... c'est n'importe quoi

i hate you all


arretez s'il vous plait... j'ai mal a la tete...


christ all might y



caged, you little caged rodent
how does it feel to have your freedom so minute?
caged as you are, you haven't gone that far
maybe I'll put you out of your misery.

How does it feel, with your holy christ
your gods of wonder, your gods of might
checking your pulse, maybe you aren't alive
how does it feel? Does it ever feel real?

With your faith like a cancer
maybe it'll eat you away
forming on the skin
taking shape
transforming what you thought
was something like happiness
the problem now's not a question
but your level of participation
maybe you don't believe
you hate it here
take your life
see if your right

but you won't,
because you're weak and stupid.
You're better off dead, anyways.
Stop clogging the drain for the rest of us.
Join your god.

and I hope I've ruined your day.




from this arrogance I've somehow seen a light
and truth is not a sin
but it is any other way
wishing for a new life
this one seems so mutilated
I'm going to die

and this is love from your god
trying to gain a basis for comparison
a pound of flesh bloodless
something you're trying to understand
without ever really knowing
open your head and realize the pain once
you'll never look back again
I'm so tired of this mascarade
this menagery
admit your fear and you can begin healing
but it never really gets better
death never looked so appealing

god's perfect
you are not
so why do we try?
waking up from another nightmare
can you really blame it?
hoping for perfection
it never really comes
wasting away like heat from an ocean
forever ready again