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Martinus Scriblerus

of

Salem, OR, US

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The Cannibal

by

Martinus Scriblerus

The cannibal, all out of hope,
Had settled on a cantaloupe
Half a sphere (looking like a head):
"No brains today, fruit juice instead,"
He said. Dessert was better: this,
A bit of fresh cut cannabis,
He smoked in an old hollow bone.

Thrice married, but, these days, alone,
He burped up tender recollections
Of friends, relations-- dear confections!
All lent a hand to happiness;
He had their back (yet I digress).
The portly gent having his greens,
(Hallucinogens now, no beans)
Passed out in the high burning sun.
His dad returning: "Ah, he's done."

I couldn't commit.

by

Martinus Scriblerus

Though suicide, it's true, is not an option,
I wish my parents would have tried adoption.

Of Dunces & Doughnuts, Pt. I

by

Martinus Scriblerus

It's better to be hated than ignored,
To leave them angered than to leave them bored,
Yet nowadays the failure doesn't fall
On wits, but readers who won't read at all.
Satiric pens may fill a page, a book,
Volumes with venom, on which one may look,
Or two at most: as for the rest, I'll bet
Their eyes are on a television set.

Of Dunces & Doughnuts, Pt. II

by

Martinus Scriblerus

"Don, don't you want a doughnut?" "No
Thank you." "Frank?" Frank nodded his head.
Fred handed him a couple. "Joe?"
"Nah," said the cop. "Why not?" he said.

"Diet."

"Ah." Fred complained as, dropping some
Powdered crumbs on his pleated pants,
He munched a little, licked his thumb
And looked at them, the crawling ants

(Then crushed).

"Thanks very much," Joe said as Don
Handed hot coffee in a white
Cup to the black officer. John
Liked his with milk. Joe said, "Alright"

(Day hushed)

"Time to go," getting up, and Mike
Grunted, "Forgot your hat," and all
Six in blue headed out; a bike
Lay by the curb below a doll;

Quiet.

A Poet's View of Parrots

by

Martinus Scriblerus

"Eat your peas; eat your carrots;
Go to bed at eight,"
The patriotic parrots
All repeat.
"And don't you dare be late."

"Let us eat our lettuce; can't
Wait to get a wafer!"
(Right wings raising) they chant,
"Who'll defeat
The Hawk who made us safer?"

Portrait of a Pretty Girl

by

Martinus Scriblerus

Strawberries in a straw

Basket she brings and, bare

Foot, basked in the bright air,

Black ribbons in brown hair,

Wears a white dress ((no bra))

While dancing on the green

Surface. Her face is clean,

Cool ((warm are things between)).

Nelson Riddle, As It Rained At Night

by

Martinus Scriblerus

I drink coffee as black as an ink stamp,
Hear Frank singing, "the lady is a tramp,"
Look out at the rain hearing it hit glass
And asphalt, see the headlights and they pass
Going somewhere, and the May rain will fall,
Will fall: we're going somewhere, after all.

Poetically Pinstriped

by

Martinus Scriblerus

If you use your bat to bunt
You'd better lay it down
With care
Because the curve of Kevin Brown
Makes it real tough to keep it fair.

If you pitch to Sheff you'll want
To bring your hardest heater:
He'll hit
It far knocking in Derek Jeter,
Then you'll curse at yourself and spit!

Aesthetically (Not Non-Atheistically) Speaking

by

Martinus Scriblerus

If God all knowing had a small suggestion
Box, pencil dangling from a string, with scratch
Paper, I'd write, "My chronic indigestion,
My migraine headaches, perpetual patch

Of itchy skin on my left side, those loud
Neighbors who play their grunge music, the cable
Company, obstinate co-worker (proud
And clueless), the dust always on my table,

The sun on the windshields, the strangers' ringing
Cellular phones, phrases with 'W.
M.D.' and 'dot com', Fox's Idols singing,
O'Reilly-- is it too much trouble to

Replace them with some doughnuts in the break
Room, please?" And (time permitting) add to list,
"With all the frauds whose faith in you is fake,
Perhaps you'd like to prove that you exist?"

The Safeway Shopper's Serenade

by

Martinus Scriblerus

The Way We Were
Was just a blur
Because her voice, like a dead cow's aroma
Inhaled by a huge nose,
Had put me in a coma.

Oh! R.E.M.
My gagging phlegm
Drowned out, while verses like a sighing city
Of gnats whining their woes
Sucked on their own self-pity.