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Pernell Robert Rodocker

of

St. Petersburg, FL, US

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Oh, My Mom, How I Miss You

by

Pernell Robert Rodocker

I stopped to see you at your grave today.
I thought and wondered just what to say...
As I dug around and cleaned your stone.
I suddenly felt so very alone.
I played the songs on my radio,
Which played a part in your life.
Upon your stone it only says, Beloved Wife.
Six children you had, no, the seventh went home.
I just bet you're now holding, you're not alone.

I tried to remember the last memory I had.
But I kept returning to all that was sad.
I still remember that day you died...
I held your hand as my father cried.
So many things I used to do,
Like steal a flower and give it to you.
Where did you get that, Oh, never mind.
The thoughts that you had were so very kind.
You were there when I was good.
You were there when I was bad.
You corrected me the times when you should.
And now my heart is oh so sad.
I talked to you about the cancer in dad;
His lung removed and gall bladder he had.
The more I thought about all these things,
The more my heart broke.

A song came on that dad sang to you,
And as it did I sang it too.
I looked around for a flower to steal
And as I did my head began to reel.
My heart it sank to fathoms below,
I fell to my knees and wept so low.
The memories are all that I have, but for my tears,
My only salve.
I bent and kissed the plaque, on the cross.
I wondered if I'd find my way to you or be lost.
I thought of the first memory of mine,
In a hospital, I was two and doing fine.
The scarlet fever was gone and you and dad came for me.
I was so happy, as happy as can be.

I dusted the dirt away and took a hand full home.
I thought of when I might die and if I'd be alone.
My heart it ached and my eyes they wept,
I saw as I was watching with in my mind,
You and dad coming for me,
My feet, still they kept.
Your arms open wide and your faces so kind...
And again I wept...

Four years it will be that you've been away.
There is nothing more I can do or say.
I love you and miss you, my Beloved Mother.
Though dad has remarried, there will be no other...
I long to see you once again, and hold you in my arms.
In a place where there are no tears, I know I will cry...
For I will cry tears of joy to see you again.
Again my heart breaks and again I weep.
Oh, mom I miss you, but the memories I'll keep...

Love Lost

by

Pernell Robert Rodocker

There you lie beside your love that once you held so tight.
There beside her for an eternity but oh an awful plight!
Ah, but only a few feet away your hands will never touch.
And the times you had together just aren’t worth as much.
You danced together and loved and fought and teased.
You looked into her eyes and held her for a squeeze.
Now, laid to rest together, you really aren’t at all.
And all you were is falling apart one piece at a time.
You can no longer be together; there is the coffin wall.
That which was built in love, is not even worth a dime_
I stop to see you both, but grass and stone are there_
I put on your favorite music; I dance for you, no care_
But in vain my steps they fail, my heart it aches my voice does wail.
I bow to my knees and weep_
My heart so heavy my pains so strong that I can’t even move.
My face so cold upon the stone that only bears your names,
My tears not seen my cries not heard no one my hurts to soothe.
No time for love, no time for hate, no time for life’s silly games.
Between the mounds of what is left, I sit and still I mourn,
Sometimes I curse that day of fate, when to you I was born.
I slowly walk away and wonder, when again I’ll see you
Each day I wake and see the sun and hope my time is soon,
As the pain grows with in what am I to do?

As the years go by my memories fade, but pain never leaves_