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Trey Ebony Ravencrest

of

Cambridge, England, UK

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Dear Merady

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest


dear merady;
I fell into your room three nights ago
hung from the ceiling and crawled down the wall
like a bat.
there was a moment
as my foot touched your bed
where I almost remembered
your surname.
I walked to the floor clutching a plastic spade and dug
dug a hole through your skin of photographs
and couldn't get back out.
there's a cat down here
says his name's anarchy or sox but
can't quite recall which
let alone who I should be.
he told me this is where all the people go
the people clichéd as loved and lost and now
I'm too afraid to call for help
in case someone hears.
this is why I write to you
I found your address on the back of my hand and knew
from my fourth birthday
you were behind me
in the corner of my eye
in the reflection of the cooker top.
here I am the only photo frame in a living rock of faces our bodies forgetting how to touch and merely looking staring sliding over each other in negative films of
glossy loneliness.
dear merady
I fell into your room three nights ago and
cannot get back out
not on one wing.


Empty Tracks

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

People yell, "We're on the wrong platform!"
"Where's Kilkenny?"
"C16!"
And I just watch.

The railings are cold beneath my soul
In all this rush I'm forgotten.
Invisible to the naked eye, not quite
But neglected as I sit alone
And face the face of time suspended clear.

You're already three hours late.

The doves, or pigeons, pigeons yes
Glide freely in the dome-spun rafters
Unrestrained by care and still dependent
On themselves
Themselves alone.

They never have to wait for you
Like I do.

Another train pulls in mechanically
Proficiently with ease
And velocity takes swarms in their directions.
I comb the crowds
Not inclined to leave my railing for it's mine and
Just why should I give it up
To disappointment?

A woman passes, smiles at me
I smile back and wonder
What's your name?
Where are you going?
Do you read philosophy?
If you could analyse my death
What did I die of?
And I wish so hard
I could follow her
Get on that train and live her life
With her and know her heart
So she'd love mine.

"Jasmine!"
"Reece!"
Two soulmates meet
And kiss so deep I look away
The anger, tears and emptiness
So cold in railing black.

Jasmine isn't left to wait
While advertisements glare at her
While people oh so busily
Slide blankly passed her sighs.

Why can't you be more like Reece?

A child cocks his head at me
His tuneless hum abandoned
And I meet his stare until he runs
Just flees back to his mom.

Tick. Tick.
I grit my teeth, all patience gone
And leap from off my railing-home
Four hours late and this time
No excuse.

"I'm sorry, babe, I overslept
Rough night, you know the sort."
That's what I'll get
Whenever you decide to call me back.
But I won't answer
Not this time
This time you missed
The last, last train
This time it's you
Who's left with empty tracks.


The Years of Season

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest


You can't count the snowflakes
And I doubt you'd count my dreams
They lie, a shroud around my mind
Encasing it in myths of thought
In crystals that - each owned -
Are beautiful, uniquely forged
By faiths of tear-strewn days

Don't catch them - don't reach out to touch
The falling dreams so calm
For reality is fire and thus can melt all
Worth desire and will leave you only
Cold beneath your pain

One snowflake marks a smile
Caught in frozen melody
So cherished deep in memory you'd think
That it were Winter - in all it's cruelty,
In all it's leafless branches - that I loved
But no: do not assume
For I assumed once, I misjudged
And now this season's cycle is my debt
To history's end

I've tried surviving, tried to grow
And once, once I just ran
Maybe I thought that if I held horizons in my palms
That if I clenched them hard enough I would somehow dissolve
I would somehow become them
And thus free from this cocoon of salient death

But never can you run from storms within nor storms without
So ignore the ignorants that cry "Walk On!"
Because what's the point - what is the point of summer
When the only one who warmed your heart is gone?

You'll never find another set of footprints
In this snow
For mine, once stepped, are filled with Past
And grief of lonesome hills
I stand now, trapped in time, refusing Future
Mourning minutes sunk in drifts so far behind
So lost in fate

And as I stand, the days go by
The people whirl but I just cry
And no one ever cares, asks, why
Asks why I'm so alone

So all that's left for me to hold are snowflakes
And, dropping to my knees, they float with
Such seet wingful pace
Such loving warmth that I have known but once in all my life
The touch of she who loved me true
The touch of she who, 'round me, drew
The touch of she who lives in snow's soft grace


Esperanto

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

Maybe when the seeds are blown
And buried in your touch
Maybe when the truth is known
Of me
Maybe when we learn that things are
Never lost of hope
And maybe when They understand
We are eternity

Maybe if all peace defies
The reigns of terror culled
Maybe when she pacifies
My soul
Maybe when the leaves disperse
Our distant choir melodies
And maybe as we come together
Two seperates, distant stole

Maybe when all honour thrives
Between the paths of sight
Maybe when the way derives
>From us
Maybe as the dusk proves that
Forgiveness isn't sin
And maybe if the mountains crown
With love more pure than lust

Maybe if the blades enclose
Some hidden palms of care
Maybe if the eagles choose
To soar
Maybe when all images
Envision who we are
And maybe if our justice spans
And opens wide that door

Maybe as the static sparks
A wisdom not defined
Maybe when none fear the darks
Of rain
Maybe if what's been has passed
And yet still waits to come
And maybe if we all held faith
And cared not solid gain

Maybe when you do accept
That I am here to stay
Maybe if her song's adept
At turns
Maybe as the clouds roll passed
Our figures twined in need
And maybe when the wings patrol
Where passion ever-burns

Maybe if, for every heart
We stand and fight the tide
Maybe if we find a start
And end
Maybe when all mothers teach
Their daughters of the flame
And maybe as from prejudice
Our strengths will sure defend

Maybe, for a moment
I can lose my player's mask
Maybe queens of time thrown-sent
Will nod
Maybe, at our footsteps gone
The crescents will recall
And maybe tenses will collide
And argue where we trod

But lords shalt never call us
To their court for any crime
Unless it's ruled that love fall breach
Of law
And if that's so, we too shalt lay
As martyrs, white-Divine
And fuse our souls together
Far from any their deplore

Maybe when the seeds are blown
And buried in your touch
Maybe when the truth is known
Of me
Maybe when we learn that things are
Never lost of hope
And maybe then They'll understand
We are eternity


Caterpillar

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

I'm crawling up imperfect honesty with
Leaves of dewy thought
And
Purple little passioncies of flame.
I know not why I'm climbing nor indeed
What spurs my timing but
I'm sure somehow it's far
>From where my dreams and I both came.

The stem aches with my little feet while
Fuzzy waves of summer heat
Expose my slow desires to the sun and
Every one is
Blown away like dandelions clocking out
This season's fall.
My curving path hangs upside-down as
Raindrops splash against the frown to
Drag my tiny burden in its gush and
Nervy rush so
That I'm waterstalling badly in
Its call.

My vision swirls
My body curls...
I drowned and made my final climb
Unseen.


The Strength of Wood

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

When I dance through Epping forest
You wouldn't notice if i fell because
I never do
Not seen to you
I am your tree
Of sanity
I'm trust and strength - I bear the weight - don't
Share the weight just take it
You lean on me but what
Just what just what my dear
If my roots don't hold
Or I chose, as I could, to shed my bark;
Would the forest collapse
And kill me?
Perhaps
Perhaps
But it might
Simply be worth it
To be noticed


Finger Picture

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

print print print
precisely
(not).
this is art in the purest unbridled free spasmodic VIOLENT
sense
i think.
print print print
kids' stuff oh yes this is
(not).
this is cloning yourself in colour savage color quiet color colored color smears
i think.
print print print
i paint anything
but
what i see in that
you won't see at all.


Fallen Lesbian

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

the apricot grew
on an oak tree called scorn
and
all the acorns
laughed at it.
the apricot
sat
in the highest branch
where it clung
to a wind called love
and
the leaves abandoned it.
the apricot
never fell
it jumped.
the apricot
was bitten
but spat out.
the apricot
never sprouted:
it withered away
and
the stone laughed as
an acorn dropped
and cracked on it.


Stun Gabriel with the Irony of Death

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

I missed the Solstice moon last night -
The clouds sheathed themselves so jealously around it that
I yelled and yelled but they wouldn't let me in.
I should have liked to see it -
I HAD to see it -
God don't they understand I needed
To bow to Artemis just one more
Last time before we met?
I ran all the way to Avalon;
My exodus went unobserved yet I noticed
That I lost
My only shadow on the way.
I stopped.
My walking slowly towards a streetlamp
Failed to call it up - I frowned -
Then turned and turned but I guess it
Ran
Away.
My sleeves are empty
My magic's gone
My eyes are sore from all this damn
Soul searching under my little desk
In Hell.
But I think you'll find
The moon is out
And my shadow's here yet
I
Have
Disappeared.


Monsoon Lullaby

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

Sometimes, deep in darkness
In the folds of silence still
I lie, not blind by blackness
Nor by thought that daylights kill
I dream yet never sink in sleep
And sing without a note
Then, whirling in the warmth of wings
Faint waterfalls do float

Beneath the flurried feathers
Currents swirl with emerald ease
And laced lagoons of wonder
Swell beneath the coral seas

If I could live in amber arcs
Mosaic moons decreed
To shy in shadows ever-more
For here they'd have no need
Your tawny eyes would be my sight
Their calming crescents tame
And ebbing echoes soft enchant
As whispered words you claim

Above, the fairies flicker
Monsoons haze to silver scent
And gliding glades of laughter
Lap at lilac wonderment

Your fingers trance my tears by touch
As silk-surrendered skies
Alight upon the rippled reef
To dance like fireflies
With wishes in their starlit wings
And hearts of herald gold
They twine between our souls with flame
Of secrets never told

Inside, the laced lagoons enchant
The emerald dreams that sigh
And crescents tint the scented glades
Of our monsoon lullaby


Thicker Than Skies

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

Water hath no edge so sharp
As that which stings the strain i slew
Or tried to slay
And failed so straining new.
Water hath no edge to walk
In forests where, once strained, i grew
Until my steadied shoots
Held studied clue.
Water hath no edge to grasp
When clasping becomes needed to
Nor shelter when my rasping breath
Intrudes you.
And water hath no edge to cross
For bridges are a sister who
Suggests crossing the earth leaving
Blood blue.

Water is -from- but without Heaven.
Blood is within love
Until bled.


Known Secrets

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

Don't want to say
Too much
In case she hears me,
Or feel too hard
In case she knows.
Don't want to show
My raw emotions
In case she turns
And walks away.
So I'll sit right here
In silence
With her arms
Wrapped round my soul
And whisper
"Yeah just what
Are good friends for."


Curl Up the Sidewalks

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

it's funny, how i can be
someone different to every other person
and yet
no one at all
to myself.

i can sit here balled in the middle of
cambridge
and watch the shoes go by around me:
the fast ones
the worn ones
the ones holding up and the
ones dragging down -
and then looking at my own feet
they're bare...

i have no direction
i have all too many desires
i have no need for compasses or time.
i have no such perfection that
allows me see the liars from the
ones that judge intimacy with decadence or
climb the walls of misery to die.

the raindrops are
annoyance
to some or
cleansing to
others: they
soak this soul and
repel off that but
to mine they're nothing
but a backdrop.

cathedral stone may be old i know and
the mediocre bells might be rung just
one too many times...
but there'll always be a home for me
in this cathedral's shadow for it doesn't care if
i don't believe
it doesn't care if no one believes in ME
its sandals are ready to guide me somewhere
when i ask.

it's funny, how i can be
no one at all to every other person
and yet
someone worth something
to myself.


New Moon

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

as i curl up in my window
watching reality splatter against the pane I
see the moon disguised himself as a streetlamp
but i enjoy it more.
he spills out orange, fuzzy hums
that comfort me in darkness for
his orbital careens will not be stolen by mere cloud.
tonight, tonight though, he is silent
all is strange and looms upon me - he
is out
and does not illuminate the
empty branches or roofs of nearby houses.
my exclusive moon
my amber moon
my stars that lie in raindrops i can touch and
kiss and wish upon all night
without them sacrificing soul and
falling down.
my world is black and
balling tighter in my bedroom window i watch
reality crushed against the panes - my stars
obliterated but my tears
re-born.


BP Naught Over Naught

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

I look up, the moon is full
Of tears
I gaze up, the moon is smudged
And smeared
I'm staring up, the sky is clear
Of stains
I'm kneeling down, the sky is raw
And pained.

They defrosted me last week:
Poured me out onto a microscope slide
And tried breeding me with all kinds of
Bacteria.
I'm having a bad day
Repeatedly.

I look up, the moon is full
Of scars upon scars and people
Grieving people thieving scars from
The stars
In the dark.
I gaze up, the moon is smudged
With me in a crater in a death saved for later and
Her one step over the edge... blank just --
Gone
In my dark.
I'm staring up, the sky is clear
Of guilt for this year but it bled through the last of my
Skin,
If I lose to temptation, and their anticipation
Then my chances of survival are slim.
I'm kneeling down, I'm so raw
Black white black black I'm tired
And I'm certain they didn't thaw me out
Quite right,
But those bacteria are memories of a
Girl I once worshipped
And they killed her
In the worst kind
Of fight.

Like I said
I'm having a bad day
Repeatedly.
Repeatedly.
I'm having a bad day
Like I said.

I think I trapped a nerve.


Destitution

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

5 thousand feet of emerald green
5 thousand feet scented still
with integrity
5 thousand feet to escape
5 thousand feet that could end
her darkest torments in denial
5 thousand feet she longs to fall
The only grief being it would mark
her greatest moment


Tusks (the sixth clause of compassion)

by

Trey Ebony Ravencrest

Falling grieves and stalling reasons touch the land today.
Maybe their ice will warm me,
Maybe their finger-tips will chase the leafless seasons and scare the fog
Onto the Fen.
And where your cry hath burned a wake,
A vision:
A dream of crucifying every cross before it's even born.
Now stillness.
You know that killing kills and death begins
The life of torment fresh in circles true...
And as the web is in frost;
Its beauty comes at the price of breath - stay back
I've seen you broken before - stay back
They can't knock you off these stars, my sister,
You're still my idol.