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Cynthia Physentzou

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Toronto, ON, CA

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If You Werent My Friend

by

Cynthia Physentzou

Looking out the window, lying in bed but cant help to think if you werent my friend, would you wish you were lying next to me engaging in some sureal intimacy. If you werent my friend would you be smitten and attracted to me in a way you couldnt possibly explain to people. If you werent my friend would you want me to be in your fantasys but only to make them a part of reality. If you werent my friend would you come pick me up and let the night take over for us. Damn if you say yes it makes me feel like starting over, starting over to make you want me just the way I want. I want to start over so you can kiss me everywhere, take care of my nerves that you will calm while you stroke me and caress, have sex like we are the only ones that know what pure ecstasy could feel like. I know I see it in your eyes that you know what sensual and erotic ride we have the potential to be on, I know you wont get on it's just too much of a rush for you...too much. You will feel the fe!
ar before you feel the sensation and desire. That's why I know these thoughts of you live in my fantastik world of Imagination. Just dont look at me to intense, for I dont want you to see what goes on inside, I dont think you knew passion so strong could exist in your friends eyes. Please look away before you get lost, but wait......you dont even look at all or so you fake. You know fear all to well and you only love the friend in me when it can be so much more. But I cant change the way you see me as friend, but I can change the way I see you in my head. I just got to remember to change back when your around. I can change the way I see you in my head, and it's ok for me to see you differently in my head cuz it's just you and me, it's not bad no one knows...not even you. It's better that way cuz damn the way I see you is so deeply sensual. I want to be one with you and show you what two fish are capable doing. Oceans wish there waves could be as big as ours when us two ar!
e in a notion of back and forth, me on top, please dont stop..!
..your l
ike a love potion.
But I cant change the way you see me again...but i can change the way I see you in my head. No one knows the storys, fantasy's I bring in my head. No one knows so I feel safe in my head. I wish for you to change the mind, join me, become one instead of lieing to a best friend so you can feel the same again, like you did that time when it was almost a sure thing. I know I was the one to say no but baby nine years later, more capable of having one night affairs, that being with you. Even for one night I can show you what I want to, let you feel what has been burning inside of me for so long. But again...I cant change the way you see me as a friend...so I 'll see you later tonite in my head.


As Heaven Looks Down

by

Cynthia Physentzou

I know you two are up there, looking apon me. Now your shining threw me, with your light, the light from up above, the place where no one can do evil.
Now I speak to you spiritually, as you do too.
I feel, know when your around me, it sometimes frightens me what you can see now, like If I sin, or do wrong. The feeling is quite strong that your watching, know I am not doing anyone any harm, I wouldn't want to, dont forget you were involved in raising me, making me the person I am. So try not to judge, or hold a grudge for decisions or actions I take on. I'm sorry I had to see you two go, just know I love you, always will. Memories dont die, we just do. Those memories follow you to heaven, you know this, I know. You can still remember exactly what I remember, there can't be anything better than that. So enjoy your new home, it's time for you to live peacefully, time for you to live at the highest level, your in the most harmonius kingdom, your now a higher love. I embrace your love every time your staring, letting me know your prescence is upon me, caring, dont think I dont see.
When I look up at the sky, kiss me each and every time, and know I am doing the same.
I understand your there to teach, lessons to give me, everyone. You reach out and show us our lessons in any way you want to, by showing us signs. It's up to us to believe, to follow, to be aware of them, but some people just dont care. They choose to learn without the signs, but yet you still care enough to guide us so, in ways words cannot explain, only emotions can.
As I sit here, without a tear, it's because I know your pain has dissapeared. You live in a world of colours, beauty, pureness. Your surounded by souls, all good, immaculate, it's like their made with gold, just like yours.
Rest, be in your peace, let the stars keep shining the brightest they have ever been, and know that's due to you living up there. Your in my prayers, thoughts, I look up and reach out to you, as you do to me. I can still give you love, like you can too.
As I have this candle lit, you two up there sit, read my words, embrace what we will forever have, our spirits, souls that combine to one, it enables us to communicate. Thank-you for making me believe.