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Rodney L. Phillips

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Fairmont, WV, US

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Frail Man

by

Rodney L. Phillips

How could you do that to me?
How could you not care?
What you were doing to me,
Was not very fair.
The knife to my throat,
While I cried "NO".
The pulling of my coat,
When you’d say "SO".
I can never forgive,
The way you raped me.
Now I must live.
Oh can’t you see?
I can’t have these thoughts,
Going thru my mind anymore.
I can’t have these thoughts,
I must even the score.
So rot in jail,
Before you rot in hell.
Yeah that’s right this man is no longer frail.

Dream

by

Rodney L. Phillips

Night after night I close my eyes,
I dream a dream of you and I.
Together we are there,
Being a perfect pair.
We come together and hold each other,
Knowing our love is stronger than any other.
As our lips meet,
A tingle travels from my head to my feet.
As we start to separate and we look into each others eyes,
I start to dream another dream of you and I.
Filled with love and two caring hearts,
I dream a dream that our love never parts.
I love you Rebecca!

The First Night

by

Rodney L. Phillips

The first night you raped me
I felt helpless and blue.
With the knife to my throat
Your evilness showed thru.
The screaming the crying
While you held me down.
The jerking the shaking.
As you went up and down.
The moaning the groaning
Coming from your mouth,
As you took something special from me
And made my emotions turn south.
How could you do that?
What if it was you?
Would you feel helpless and blue?
Would you scream?
Would you cry?
Would a single drop fall from your eye?

Letter

by

Rodney L. Phillips

I sat down to write you this letter
To tell you how I feel,
When you left you broke my heart,
But baby that will heal.
And as I'm writing these words to you
Tears are pouring from my eyes.
I thought I couldn't live without you
Then suddenly I realized.

That if you really loved me,
If you truly cared
You wouldn't have forgotten
The memories we've shared.
I say you've forgotten
For why else would it be
That even though I gave you all my love
You aren't in love with me?

Trust

by

Rodney L. Phillips

You see an image
Of how I’m supposed to be
But I still wonder
Is that really me?
I don't know what to do
Or how I should act
I can't prove my love
And that's a fact
You don't want to control me
You've told me before
But it leaves me empty
Like an apple with no core
I need your love
And to be as one
You say I’ve hurt you
But what is it I have done?
I want to hold you
And tell you it'll be ok
But I start to choke
And forget what to say
You tell me I’m hurting you
Only I can't see
How I took your trust
Away from me
I'm slowly letting you
Slip away
I wish I could grab you
And make you stay
When you're mad at me
I feel I can't go on
I'm weak and sad
Never will I be strong
I can't let myself lose you
I'll shrivel up and die
My eyes will pour with tears
More than they will ever cry
I'm not asking for your life
Or every minute of your time
I just want you to believe me
Is that such a crime?

The Truth

by

Rodney L. Phillips

If I told you the truth
About what happening to me
I wonder now
Where would we be?
Would we be together
Or would we be apart?
Would you have believed me,
From the very start?
I don’t know where
We are going anymore,
But my love for you
Is something I can’t ignore.
What will you do
When I take a polygraph test?
What will you do
When you find out what I said is true?
Does it matter?
Would you care?
This whole thing
Has not been fair.
There were two things I did for you
During the time you thought I
Was untrue.
1)I saved you from harm

Each and everyday
2)Each of those days

Prayed you would stay.
Does that sound like
I didn’t or don’t care?
Do you think
If it happened to you
That it would be fair?
You may not believe me
But this much is true
I love you
And I have never
Cheated on you.

Running Away

by

Rodney L. Phillips

You and I took a vowel to love each other
Till death to us part.
Yet this is the second time you’ve
Ran away and kept us apart.
When I got mad
I know I ran to,
But when I ran
It is not as long as you.
One day is usually all I was gone.
The very next day
I would come back cause
My anger would be gone.
Why do you run away for so long?
Why can’t you face our problems
So our love can grow more strong?
I know I messed up
When I said what I said,
But I didn’t mean it
I’ve had bad things trapped in my head.
I just hope I can be blessed with
One more chance to talk to you
Even though I know:
There is nothing I can say
And there is nothing I can do
To keep you from running away
And say I love you to.

Who

by

Rodney L. Phillips

Who but you could hold me
And keep the world at bay
Who but you could scold me
In the nicest kind of way
Who but you could take my hand
And step into a dream
Who but you could bring such joy
Enough to make me scream
Who but you could lead the way
Through fantasies, part by part
Who but you could make me love
And open up my heart
Who but you could bring to earth
Each and every star
Who but you would tell me
I love you just the way you are
None, not a single one
Could do the things you do
I could never love another
The way that I love you

Memories

by

Rodney L. Phillips

I lie here tonight
With my eyes closed tight.
Fighting back all these tears,
Thinking of all those wonderful years.
I didn't think things could go so wrong,
I really thought our love would stay strong.
Now we've only grown further apart,
All we have are two broken hearts.
Oh how I wish we could go back in time,
To those wonderful years when I was yours and you were mine.
But times have changed and so have we,
Is this how you want things to be?

Saving You

by

Rodney L. Phillips

Every day for almost two years
I sat and cried so many tears.
They were tears of sadness and fear
And constantly had me looking to my rear.
The fear I felt was not only for me
Oh can’t you see?
I didn’t want you to worry about yourself or me.
I had to keep you safe from harm
And always be on the alarm.
What else could I do with your life in my hands
When she would call and give me those demands?
There was nothing I could do
Cause all I wanted was to protect you.
If I said something you could be gone
But not like you are now.
Gone...................
Gone forever with no coming back
Then my tears would never have any slack.
I would have cried so much more than I do now
Because I would have to live knowing I didn’t do
All that I could do to save you.

Friends

by

Rodney L. Phillips

It was you who I thought would be right here by my side,
The one that I would turn to when I needed someone to confide.
When I came to you, you turned your back to me,
True friends are always there so why did you leave.
So many memories I remember of us together,
So many times you said we’d last forever.
So many nights I've cried waiting for you to come back,
But I guess a loving friendship is what we really lacked.
I close my eyes and imagine you are still waiting for me,
But it does no good to dream cause you wake up to reality.
I was there for you when you needed me.
I listened to you and you listened to me.
But you wanted to leave and I'm not begging you to stay.
You turned your back to me and you walked away.
Now through these tears I will whisper the words good-bye.
I have something to remember YOU and that is that I tried.

Lies

by

Rodney L. Phillips

We did it to each other.
Yeah that’s right.
We lied to each other.
Does that make it right?
You’ve done it as much as me.
To save my feelings,
Or to just let something be.
You had lied to me for over a year
When I found out different
Then you made things clear
You didn’t want to hurt me.
You didn’t want me to cry.
I understood but why did you lie?
You lied for the same reasons I do
Cause you love me like I love you.
So why don’t we look past these lies?
Let’s tell the truth and comfort each other
During the cries.

Forgive Me

by

Rodney L. Phillips

The more I live
The more I try.
It's knowing I can't have you,
And needing to cry.
The more I beg
The more I complain
All it does is make more pain.
Well, right now
I'll just let things be
But all I'm asking is to forgive me.
Forgive me for something I didn't do.
You might not want to believe
That it's not true
But go with your heart
Not your ears.
You forgiving me is something
I want you to do
So, please forgive me because
I do love you.

Marriage

by

Rodney L. Phillips

Marriage_
What does it mean to me?
Loving, caring, and protecting
Are some words that come to me.
Loving_
To the point of no return
Feeling your heart beat
To the point you feel it burn.
Feeling your hearts are meant to be
That is what love means to me.
Caring_
Comes when you see them cry
So you hold them and comfort them
Until the sadness, and pain pass by.
Feeling their pain and feeling blue
Sometimes to the point where you
Begin to cry to.
Protecting_
Comes in many forms
From physical to emotional
You protect them from the storms.
Knowing that you would put
Your life on the line
Because as long as they are ok
Everything will be fine.
Marriage_
Is loving someone enough to care
Caring for someone enough to protect
And protecting someone because you love them.
That is what Marriage means to me!!!

The Last Time

by

Rodney L. Phillips

I am sitting her thinking
Of the last time we made love
It hurts me to think
What I am thinking of
I tried and I tried
But there was no way
I couldn’t finish
In any kind of way.
I got frustrated
And I got sad
You asked me a question
And I got mad.
I told you I would leave you
And that was wrong
I didn’t know what to say
To try to look strong.
Making love has never been the same
Sense that girl played that selfish game
I never made love to you
Just to do it
I made love to you
Cause I love when we do it.
I love you so very much
I love that feeling when
Our bodies touch
I have no regrets for loving you
My only regret is that
I couldn’t make love the way I wanted to.
I am sorry!!!

Still Hurting

by

Rodney L. Phillips

Your still hurting me
After all this time
Sometimes it is as though
My emotions aren’t mine
You took away
The best things in my life
My trust in people,
My wife,
My goals,
And my outlook on life
Are just a few things
You took with that knife.
Why couldn’t you leave me alone?
Why can’t you see?
Everything you did or do
Makes me unhappy.
I don’t know if it was you
That put me in my trunk
If it was you
Girl that really stunk.
My hands and feet tied
Behind my back
I pulled and I tugged
But there was no slack
Luckily I was able to get out
Of the trunk
But the traumas run deep
And my trust has shrunk.

Think

by

Rodney L. Phillips

Think of how I acted when
She would call up
Think of how I acted when
She would show up
How did I act?
Was I happy to hear from her?
Did I always answer?
The answers to those questions
Are not hard to find.
They are deep in your heart
For you to find.
I couldn’t do anything
And I know how it looked
She hurt me to the point
I was constantly spooked.
I wrote you this letter
About a month ago
I can’t send it to you
But I wish you could know
How much I really love you
And how much I want to show
How happy we were
And how happy we could be.
If you ever decide
To come back to me.