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G. Pepworth

of

Point Lincoln, South Australia, Australia

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youth unite

by

G. Pepworth

in these times of hardships
we have to make a stand
prove to others that we care
that we can lend a helping hand

in these times of hate and pain
we have to make us heard
tell the world that we're here
that we will not be deterred

in these times of hunger
we have to share what we possess
show everyone what we're about
show we can survive having less

in these times of despair
we have to offer a bit of comfort
show that we have compassion
give back and not get caught

in these times of desperation
we ahve to be who we are
we have to be the youth
and show that we can go far

in these times of discrimination
we have to turn from the fashion
and show we are not the same
prove that we possess the passion

in these times of experimentation
we ahve to be an individual
show each other who we are
stray from past generations call.


behind the bars

by

G. Pepworth

behind the bars
there hides a face
inside the cage
that tiny space

an animal sits
and looks at me
wondering about us
can i really see

he's not there to be cute
he's there for pain
for the pleasure of humans
again and again

so like me, he is
dear darling primate
locked away by greed
selfishness and hate

i want to reach out
open up the cage
i want to stop them
putting you on stage

rest easy now darling
there are those who care
and we will come
and you'll no longer be there.


the feeling

by

G. Pepworth

crashing thoughts invade my mind
destroy the thing that makes you kind
all the pain crowded in that space
hurts my eyes and destroys that place
i feel the pain that is hurting me
a pain that controls all i see
in the dungeon my body now stays
my mind comforts me in many ways
but the pain still hangs around my sky
and still i sit and wonder why
so now as the day slowly fades
i'll lay right down here in the devil's shades


this stuff

by

G. Pepworth

i used to be good at this
saying exactly how i feel
but now as i sit alone
i, myself, doesnt seem real.

i used to know how i felt
when things started to go wrong
i wonder now how to deal
how to come out looking strong.

i used to sit in quiet
for hours and hours on end
now i cant bare a moment alone
now i can break the trend.

i used to love someone i think
i cant recall but i am sure
i can tbelive i lost myself
lost inside my dreams of more.

i used to be a mess
now there is no word for it
i gave myself the makeover treatment
now i dont even give a shit.

i used to make people laugh
now i just sit silent and blue
i guess life is done with me
i guess i dont really have a clue.


memories of the pills i think

by

G. Pepworth

wake at four am - darkness
head down on the pillow
sweat soaked body - clothes
remnants of nightmarish figures
lies of deadly demons
run back under the bed
saliva dampening the skin
drenching the pillow
confusion in nightly sky
awaking to heat
eyes forced closed
sleep destroying the stillness
throw the covers off
tossing and turning
wipe my mouth with my hand
a shaking weak hand
destroying peacefullness
taking my sanity
piece by piece - bit by bit
hurting my brain
teh thumping headache worsens
tempreature rises
feeling the chill - up my spine
distress deportation
routine by now
nightly expeditions
happened last night
will happen to night
that's just the way life goes.


take your time

by

G. Pepworth

take your time
to rectify your mind
dont walk away
cos you think it's easier
to be nice than kind

hold your breath
for just a time
see what it's like
to be silenced
its such a crime

close your eyes
bow you're head in shame
there's nothing to be afraid of
it's not scary
it's not a game

take a breath
of the air so sweet
and realise we could
be so good
if we ever meet

make me feel right
and take your time to leave
cos it will take to long
if we wait
and try to receive

now take your time
don't get scared it is bliss
open your mind to it
your body to it
and experience the ethical kiss


22:01:2000

by

G. Pepworth

and if i die
before we meet
will you wait foe me
on the otherside
if i return?

if we are never
together as one
will you love me
after all i have done
and all i have sinned
can what i am
what i feel
effect you even
though we've never met?

and can i kiss you
before i know your name
an dcan i feel your embrace
pretending
we'll last forever?

and i life goes on
after the after
will you wait for me
if we dont meet
before it's over?

if i return for you
will you follow me
back home
back again?


hidden meaning

by

G. Pepworth

i tried to scream at you
but it seemed to hard
all the words were trapped
with iron gates and lard.

i wanted to say i hate you
but i dont think i do
everything i believe in
wont disappear with you.

the words blocked inside
just couldnt penetrate
and all i ever felt
instantly turned to hate.

i believed i was free
that i could turn away
and eventually you'd change
and that i'd always stay.

but i guess i was wrong
you really just cant see
and all that you do
comes back and hurts me.

so life will continue
for you atleast it seems
and i fall asleep again
and dream all the screams.

(for everyone who ever thought i was weird for caring for those who can not speak i bid you thanks for making me stronger in side of myself)


01:03:2000

by

G. Pepworth

it's isolation
and loneliness
that makes me this way
eyes wide open
but cant see
past
all the confusion
and darkness
in which i am
locked
and secured
tied down
by all that is created
and imagined
inside of my
head
full of dreams
and illusions
and still i am
this way
the way i am
and, i guess
it will
always, be this way
so i have
become contented
with jsut being
with all my
insecurities


pleaze dont be offended

by

G. Pepworth

(authors note this is not to offended those who condone these things it is merely to put forward my own beliefs to those who have the guts to listen)

meat loving hypocrites
say i love that animal
it is so cute and cuddly
lets have it for tea

sweet little animal
see how it plays in the sand
i wonder i fit understands
i wonder if it knows

wild animals should stay wild
lets cage them in zoo's
whip them in circuses
eat the in restaurants
restain them poison them
oh i'm so proud to be human
Bullshit!
Vegetarianism, (author is one)
oh theres something to laugh about
they have no idea about life
they just get sick
anorexia sets in
more bullshit!

ignorant and undecided
what a way to be
meat loving hypocrite
doesnt see the light
time will show the way is clear
to stop the mass murders of millions
we will succeed we will strive
the strength we build up
we use to tear down
the cattle farms
the battery hen houses
the macdonalds buildings
kfc and hungry jacks look out
rampaging vegetables
to the rescue

meat loving hypocrite
stands tall and strong
until he keals over
heart attack, liver disease
too many toxins
mmm....wonder where they came from
and live changes for the unbeliever
morals set in
ethics in actions
turn a few heads
the meat loving hypocrite
finds the right way
but it's to late
they've done their damage
made the companies prosper
made the animals suffer
made me sick

meat loving hypocrite
loves to feel special
loves to be seen as "different"
attention seeking bastard
full of toxins
full of suspicion
full of ignorance
and once again we are veiwed as weird
as though we dont know
but the beauty is we know
we are not the ignorant ones
we will never be again

meat loving hypocrites
say i love that animal
it is so cute and cuddly
lets have it for tea.


time

by

G. Pepworth

time ticks by
i wonder why
i am here
and hold you near
i waste my time
its such a crime
that i care so
and you wont go
it dont need you
theres nothing i can do
time stands still
i know it will
cos we are hear
and there is no fear
becos all pain
will happen again
i can not go on
as though the sun shone
and time holds me
and i can see
it is time to go
and join the flow
and forget you now
oh god! somehow


For my brother

by

G. Pepworth

your breath has become the breeze
from the life that is now time
they way they took you
has to be classed as a crime

without a chance to smile
or to say a sweet goodbye
though life was so short for you
you caused us all to cry

you were a special lucky one
you escaped this place of war
went to somewhere thats better
for you we cant ask for more

though you are so sadly missed
you have a place in my heart
i'm so sorry that its faulty
it seems to be always falling apart

i hope you see the sunshine
that dances apon your grave
and watch the little rain drops
that sometimes misbehave

and maybe one day we'll meet
and there i'll see your smile
but until that special moment
i'll have to wait a while

so goodbye my little sweet
i hope you're out of pain
and you're dancing in sunshine
away from pouring rain.


The Joy of the Circus

by

G. Pepworth

Oh, wow Mummy
this is cool
look at he clowns, oh
wow look at he bears
Mummy look how they dance
and play
they must love it here
Mummy.

But Mummy?
who were those people
you know
the ones outside?
with the signs and t-shirts
why did they look so sad
and angry Mummy?
did i do something wrong?

Oh kay Mummy....
is that what they are?
whats that Mummy?
unrealistic?
stupid and weak?
really Mummy
you dont say?
how very strange.

Oh Mummy..
i am all grown up now
Mummy
arent i beautiful?
and i went to the circus
again Mummy
it was strange, i think
Mummy?
did the bears
always look so sad?

And Mummy?
i watched the t.v.
the other day
they had all these animals
all thin and scrawny
it wasn't pretty
Mummy really
it scared me.

Mummy?
when you said those
people were weak
was that true?
are they really so bad
because my boyfriend
does that now
and he isnt, is he?

On Mummy,
you lied to me
told me things were ok
well i know the truth now
i am realising
and Mummy,
how could you
take me to the circus?


ten past two and midnight

by

G. Pepworth

its ten past two and midnight
i wait for light to shine
morning due is settling in
as your body makes it all so fine

its way before the dawning
of teh sun, that burns your skin
i know its summertime again
as the clouds are getting thin

the sea is creeping in again
the moisture rises inside of you
you want to feel free once more
but there is nothing you can do

the night air fills your lungs
the sunshine hurts your eyes
my love for you is endless
as you desperately call to the skies

in the mirror of your soul
i search for something more
in your heart so cold and dreary
lies the pain there was before

we play a song of divergence
in the night before the rain
life isnt what it used to be
we've traded love for pain

in my mind i see the truth
it cant be what we hope for
you handed in your body
but there wasnt anymore

so at ten past two and midnight
i kiss you our last valediction
and as you taste my soul again
we collide in contradiction.


down again

by

G. Pepworth

i dont want to go down
and be just like before
i cant stand the sensation
i cant do it anymore

i really hate my self right now
i want to fucken die
oh please drag me out
i dont want to cry

life isnt supposed to hurt
but my lungs are tired
i know you cant understand
but my heart has retired

i know its in my head
but my body is in pain
and if i dont get well
it will always remain

i dont want to go down
and be who i was before
i like my life this time
i'm not looking for anymore.


relapse

by

G. Pepworth

whats the matter with me
my temperature rises again
my body is trembling
and i think i am in pain

what is happening to me
i think i'm going to cry
my eyes are stinging
and i think i could die

what going on inside
my mind isnt going ahead
my lungs are hurting
could i already be dead?

whay is this i'm feeling
why do i feel so low
my heart is weakening
the beat is getting slow

whats about to happen
can you please tell me
why do i have the urge
to no longer just be

what is this feeling called
please dont tell me its relapse
i dont want to do it again
please dont let me collapse.


****************

by

G. Pepworth

i seek a way to see you
i want to hear your voice
every time the phone rings
i run i have no choice

i have fallen for you again
i hate that i love you so
this isnt what friendship is
but that is the way to go

you are not what i want
your eyes stare into mine
you make me better
when ever i want to shine

i kissed your lips i dont know why
now the dream is broken
i wanted to flee from you
but we've never spoken

touch me again please
hold my hand like before
i will never let go of you i know
i wont ask for any more

i wish every day that you'll come
and that i will be with you
time will make this disappear
that much i know is true

this isnt supposed to be this
i want to touch your skin
to feel that chemical reaction
that takes place with in.


eyes

by

G. Pepworth

eyes staring back at me
i really cant see i am here
given in to reality, lifes over
it all now gone, my dear

blood shot, lost all hope
pass the bread the other way
no more food no more love
but we'll meet again someday

eyes that look at you with love
in the future we'll be one
i've taken my life away now
dont worry, it has been done

when your shild is born, his eyes
they will be mine, i'm sure
but dont look away too long
or they will be no more

all the tears i have cried are gone
i have healed, they have dried
i will not let myself fall in
now that i have cried

eyes staring back at me
you are as perfect as the night
i surrender time to you
cos you know that i am right.


Untitled

by

G. Pepworth

bathed in brilliance of light and love
time will change what we are
age will define our individuality
and drag us over oceans afar

but together in the present
no one can drag us down
they will never make us
stay in this god awful town

we'll run across the ocean
and dance upon the stars
we'll stare back at the earth
as we fly away to mars

baby life is perfect for you
there is no where else to go
you are the sun above me
and you shine to let me know

so in your brilliance of light and love
time passes not so quickly here
and maybe we'll be forever
maybe you'll always hold me dear

but i know time will break us
drag our souls apart
but baby i do love you so
you'll always be inside my heart.


Untitled

by

G. Pepworth

life is
life was
good
life lived
life died
without me
life became
you
and me
entwined
in
each others
arms
and bodies
life is
life was
bad
life lived
life died
for you
in each other
we find
sanctuary
forever
hiding
our thoughts
and minds
from each
other
life is
life was
over
before we
knew it
life lived
life died
without
you loving
me
and so
i think
i am alone
again
in this
horrible place


Untitled

by

G. Pepworth

she stares up at the skies
forgets her shame and she cries
as darkness sets in again
she strips off her clothes and pain
covers her face in makeup lies
goes along with what it implies
she waits for the sun to rise
as the tears swell up in her eyes
this isnt what life is supposed to be
she's not supposed to want to flee.


i see, hear and am

by

G. Pepworth

i see the youth dying
in the city in the country
in little sea side towns

i hear the cries of my people
in the wind
running on the waves

in the night air, i dream my death
like so many others
i die without recognition

and as the years decay my bones
i will not be noticed
like so many others in my world

my world, where children suffer
and the young die slowly
cursed and tortured

i look apon my people
with eyes of slight recognition
those who feel like me

the ones i once thought didnt exist
i now find in people all around
inside everyone somewhere

i stare at myself not knowing
or caring who i am
like so many others

i belong to my people
my people who die tortured
in a suicidal dream.


Untitled

by

G. Pepworth

with time
comes love
with war
comes the dove
with hate
comes lies
with care
comes cries
with me
comes pain
with life
comes strain
with madness
comes sanity
with murder
comes humanity
with death
comes peace
with screams
comes release
with you
comes hurt
with earth
comes dirt
with love
comes war
with kisses
comes more


Untitled

by

G. Pepworth

calling our for someone
i am calling our for love
i am reaching for the stars
i am reaching for above

waiting for your touch
i am waiting for care
i dont want to live alone
i am waiting for you there

wishing for something
i am wishing that i were you
i cant see past this place
i dont know what to do

praying that you love me
i am praying for your soul
there isnt anything i can do
its you that will make me whole

living in a dream world
i am living without a heed
time will prove me wrong
time will make me bleed

dreaming of a life together
i am dreaming you were mine
dont really care what you think
just want the sun to shine

calling our for someone
i am calling out to you
i am wishing you would listen
and know just want to do.


Untitled

by

G. Pepworth

waiting
anticipating
a life
that is better
than this one
and thinking
how i was
once held
and maybe loved
but i never
noticed
maybe
and how
i once
kissed
someone who
didnt know my name
and
that i would
never forget
them
and how
i have
never met
that guy
with my eyes
or my
soul
and how
my heart
is getting
heavy
and i cant
always be
alone
because it
hurts to much
to know
no love
or
compassion
from another
living being
waiting in
anticipation
of love.


Untitled

by

G. Pepworth

i am sick and tired of being alone
with no one to tell me its all okay
with love songs that make me cry
wishing that jsut anyone would stay

i am finished with hoping for love
i really just dont care any more
i want to be held again for awhile
i'll be alone forever i am sure

this life is a waste of my time
if no one cares for me why should i
if no one will kiss me goodnight
then why should i say goodbye

i dont want to be alone forever
but i guess that's the way things are
if i am going to stay here i will cry
cos that is all i have done so far

with the years passing me by slowly
i am losing my mind and my soul
with out holding on to someone
i just do not feel like i am whole

i am trying to hold it together
but i think i am falling apart
my eyes are all bloodshot
and there is a hole in my heart

i am sick and tired of being alone
home on a saturday night thinking
i think i am losing my mind again
all i want to do is to be out drinking

so i guess i am stuck here with me
and my life and my sadness invasion
i jsut dont give a damn anymore
and it's time for the inner explosion.