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Heidi Pasalic

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Munich, Germany

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My first love...My last love

by

Heidi Pasalic

Can you remember the first time we met?
Can you remember how your heart started pounding in your breast?
Can you remember the first love-letter I wrote?
Can you remember our very first kiss?

Can you remember the day that you left me?
Can you still feel your heart bleeding?
Can you remember all the laughs that we had?
Can you remember our secret dates,our secret meeting place?

Can you remember seeing me again after such a long time?
Can you remember losing me again?
Can you remember the night I got on that plane and flew out of your life forever?

Can you remember your firstlong-distance phone-bill?
Can you remember the feeling of your hands trembling everytime you opened your Postbox?

Baby, I remember every second - every tear, every smile of you back then as a 16 year old kid,I remember your cheeky grin.
Your laugh is the last thing I hear at night before I fall asleep, and your face is the first thing I think of in the morning.

We have been apart too long to ever be together again,because our love is too powerful, too intensive... too dangerous!

The mere thought of seeing you, alone from the distance, sends shivers down my spine and turns my head spinning...
You were always there for me, and you were my best friend, my boyfriend, my "big-brother",you were my life!

I swore to you that I would never ever love anyone again as much as I loved you, the pain would be unbearable, the fear would tear me apart, the fear of losing again...

I will always love you, too much...
I will always remember the words you had told me,
I will always think of you in every moment I live,
I will always remember you for the good, & pray that God will forgive the bad.

What you dont understand?

10 Years of my life was dedicated to loving you...to living for you.
You were the scent in my clothing, the smile on my lips,the daydream in my head during class, the sparkle in my eyes.
But you were also the Sword that ripped my heart into pieces, the thunder clouds covering my sun, the pain pressuring against my chest - taking away my breath..

You were my first love and you will be my last love,and thats why I have to let go - before you break a heart that took too long to mend.

love me...love that 16 year old girl, and promise you'll forget me...forget the women that I am today

Yours in this life,& the life hereafter.