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Faith Parkins

of

Costa Mesa, CA, US

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The Girl

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The Girl

by

Faith Parkins

I am the girl that you all watch whirl by
In a whisper of fabric and an aura of uncaring
The angelic seductress of your dreams
The jaded ingenue denouncing your lust
The ice queen whose chill shatters your bones
There are bruised kisses on my heartbreaking lips
And a secretive smile brimming with unspoken promise
In me is the seashell of an ancient soul
Listen close and hear the ocean where my heart should be

I am the girl who gave her heart away
Signed her soul on the x, a slave to misguided love
Possessed by sullen ecstasy and unfailing devotion
The innocent with blood running down her chest
And a glossy hopeful look in her sapphire eyes
The child who didn't know to cage her emotions
Or to live behind an impenetrable wall of purity and hate
Who ended up falling through the center of the earth
Listen and hear my naivete being shredded to pieces

I am the girl that you don't talk about anymore
The one chasing a slowly fading suicidal pipe dream
The hushed whisper of rumor shivering on your tongue
My only friends are the pill and the knife in my palm
That thing you dread being reduced to
A threat to the threadbare psyches and shaded morality you stand for
A hopeless case, reminded daily that she is better off dead
But is disappointed when she wakes up, still breathing
Listen close and hear my will to live flickering to nothing

I am the girl who has everything
Your picture perfect life, all-american girl
My boyfriend is captain of the football team
And I just made varsity cheer
But this perfection leaves me empty
Your envy doesn't fill me up
And all the false friends don't fool me one bit
Because I know that I am the only one I can trust
Listen and you will hear the pornographic screaming of my heart

I am the girl who is just like you
A facsimile of the status quo
And a testament to normalcy
But you don't know how dark my desires run
About the sordid affaird I engage in, always in darkened rooms
Deep down just wishing they would choose me once
Instead of going back to what is safe and unguarded
Leaving me to their fantasies, the disappearing nymphet
Listen and you will hear their narcissistic sweet nothings

I am the girl who orchestrates their pain
The puppet master training boys to sit up and beg
Then shattering their illusion of love
With the tender violence on my covetous tongue
I am the Fury, avenging my sex
Counting coup for all their misdeeds against my gender
Their rape of our spirits, minds, and hearts
And the unforgivable poetry of their bodies
Listen and you will hear me destroy the tapestry of reality