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Heidi Nunes

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Dartmouth, MA, US

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Chemotherapy

by

Heidi Nunes

Have a seat is what they say.
I don't know what to expect, especially today.
Extremely scared is what I feel.
I just can't believe that this is real.

Into my chest a needle is stuck.
We've never had this trouble before, we'll have another nurse try her luck.

Mom is upset and starts to cry,
watching the pain I experience, both of us wondering why?

I try to be brave and smile for everyone.
The fear inside just makes me want to run.

Hooked up to the I.V., the trip begins.
Into the world of nausea and aches.
Praying my body will itself mend.

The weeks will pass by and the months will come to an end.
But I've still a long way to go
To be myself once again.

Where Have I Gone

by

Heidi Nunes

Who is that in the mirror, it can't be me?
The reflection in the mirror, a stranger I see.

Gone is the hair that once crowned my head.
All there now is a shine upon that head.

Where are the eyes that were once so blue?
Looking now like slits, please don't let it be true.

A face once pleasant,now bloated and sad.
The reflection in the mirror, makes me mad.

The Surgeon

by

Heidi Nunes

Into the room walked the doctor for me.
A pretty, petite blonde, who put me right at ease.

A smile on her face as she took my hand.
I'll take care of you, that you can depend.

Gentle hand onto my breast,
This is the treatment that will work the best.

Surgery, Chemo and radiation you'll need.
Said this lovely doctor, looking right at me.

August the first would be the day.
The surgeon would try to take my cancer away.

As I lie there scared to death.
Into the O.R. she walked with an air of self-confidence.

How are you doing she asked?
Her eyes smiling above her mask.

Later that day after I awoke,
she appeared, donned in her white coat.

I have good news is what she said.
Your lymph nodes were negative.
I sighed from my bed.

I thank God for this surgeon every day.
And her healing hands that passed my way.

A Test of Inner Strength

by

Heidi Nunes

How well do you know yourself?
Thank about that.

Your life can change in an instant,
that's a known fact.

Courage and strength I did not know.
Were deep down inside of me,
who would have known?

How would I do this once again?
Face such a horror and smile for my friends?

Prayers would comfort me in so many ways.
Pain and discomfort shadowing my days.

Words of encouragement from family and friends,
would make this journey bearable until it's end.

Now as I see the end is in sight,
I still will wonder, each and every night.

Time will fade this horror I've faced.
But never will it diminish my inner strength.

The Day Before Christmas

by

Heidi Nunes

Twas the day before Christmas and there I lay.
On a cold metal table, sad, bald, lonely me.

Just lie there still and don't move and inch
The machine started humming, seemed this would be a cinch.

Christmas Carols were playing as treatment commenced.
Why am I here? This just doesn't make sense.

A tear trickles down as I lay there just me.
And the sounds of a radiation beam, which I hope is curing me.

Sounds of holiday happiness I hear on the other side of the door.
As I lie here alone, fighting this damned cancer war.

Christmas is a time for happiness and fun.
I will walk out of this room and smile for everyone.

My Special Therapy

by

Heidi Nunes

Cancer they said had come around again.
"Oh My God"
Will this nightmare never end?

Surgery and Chemo were the treatments I was told.
How will I ever do this again?
Who will my hand hold?

Into my room they came to brighten up my day.
Two black Poodles and a Shepherd mix, my Katie-Mae.
Upon my bed they sat, and couldn't care less.
Their beloved Mother was just such a mess.

Whenever tears were shed
Around me they would be
Just my furry friends, and sad old me.

A lick upon my face, or a snuggle in my bed.
Not even caring I had no hair on my head.
The anger I would feel about this disease,
Would vanish in a moment, when those furry friends I'd see.

Life these months has changed me permanently,
but those furry friends will always love me unconditionally.

What Now?

by

Heidi Nunes

What now I think, what do I do?
They tell me it's done, treatment is through.

Am I cured I ask on the last day?
That's an answer we can't give you they say.

Back to my life they smile at me.
What kind of life I think, with no guarantees.

Sure I'll move along and live each day
But am I cancer free?
Still they can't say.

Loved ones smile now and say "Get on with Life"
I hope they never have to experience this fright.

The sun will shine on a beautiful day.
But for me there'll always be a cancer haze.

What now I think?

My Far Away Friend

by

Heidi Nunes

Never have we met, face to face.
A woman named Carol who would my heart embrace.

Meeting in a chat room you'd never know
You were my guardian angel sent from God, yes it's so.

I have cancer is what I said.
"You'll make it through this, my American friend."

Receiving an e-mail every single day.
You never missed a chance to brighten up my days.

"You can do this, you are strong."
Even when I doubted my strength, you proved me wrong.

Tales of gardening and cooking you told.
Making me laugh when my world was so cold.

God placed you here in my life you see.
You are the dearest of friends, he made you just for me.