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Allison Norman

of

Arlington, TX, US

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Human Nature

by

Allison Norman

We are taught to love
We are taught to hate
We are taught that there are
differences at any rate.

Does that make us bad
Does that make us ugly
Why can't we learn from
past mistakes.

Some teach to kill
Some want to murder
We are all GOD's creatures
I thought we were to love
one another.

Some are called animals
Anmals kill, but they
don't murder.

They kill to eat
They kill for survival.

Why do we do it?
That makes me wonder
Who the REAL animals are.

Shot at 17

by

Allison Norman

Vietnam Vietnam
Down in the mud
Shivering with fear
No one said it would be like this.

Walk all day
Huddle all night
I am not 18 why should I fight.

Momma I am scared
Will you still be proud if I am dead.
I want to come home, Please let me.

Oh man I hear a noise.

BLAM BLAM

I am too scared to pull the trigger
They are almost here
I shoulder my rifle
BLAM

White hot pain.
Did I get him?

Down in the mud
Shivering with cold
Blood all over
Mamma be proud
I am coming home
I am not 18 yet
Already I am a
Vietnam Vet.

Start over

by

Allison Norman

Back I look at the past year.
I think who was that person.
Back I look without fear.
I needed my mom but alas,
Mother you are no longer here.

I needed a new start, a new place
new poeple, new things.
I packed up my things and moved
across country.
My start over.

I stayed because of my mom,
I stayed because I was afraid.
I needed a new start.

I miss my friends and family.
The things I left behind.
But I look ahead to the future.

My life begins again.
My start over.

Sometimes

by

Allison Norman

I want to live the life of Riley.
To live life reasonably happy.
I want to try new things.
I want my heart to pound and
for me to catch my breath.

I want to live my life with no regrets.
To go hell bent for the border.
Not look back, to take a peek
of what the future holds is
what I seek.

My favorite things in life are
on the back of a Harley, the
wind in my face.
Living life and my space.

Reality hits hard like a brick.
Responsiblities call me back
from my dream.

But you know what
I will achieve what I seek
The Harley, the sun, the wind
are all mine.

Just give me time.
Just give me time.

Spinning

by

Allison Norman

Sometimes I feel like I am out of control.
The thoughts I think, the feelings I feel.
What it would be like to do certain things.

What would it feel like to just hicth a ride and
see the country?

What would it feel like to save some one from
a burning building?

What would it feel like to stop a crime?
What would it feel like to be some one else?

What would it feel like to do something you would
never do again?

Sometimes I feel like a spinning top

The question is am I going to stop?

PAIN

by

Allison Norman

The pain that I feel one might call exquisite
A sadist maybe
I sit and think because I have time
I wonder what went wrong, did I miss
Some sort of sign?

Was I paying attention to what was being said
Did I read what I wanted to hear into the words?
Were they untrue and just said to make me feel
Better?
I wish I could see what was in your heart,
What exquisite pain you feel that would make
You do this to someone else.

Is it revenge or do you hate the world?
Do you think it’s your turn to hurt someone?
Do you think it’s right?

I found myself doing what I tried to resist
I tired to not fall you, I tried to resist you
Some where deep inside I knew it wasn’t
True
I knew it was just a ploy to get what you
Wanted
I wish you had given me a chance to show
You
I am a keeper a good person
I can shine

So here I sit in exquisite pain
There’s nothing like this
All I can say is it hurts to breathe
At least I know I am alive
With this exquisite pain you have
Given me.

HEARTBEAT

by

Allison Norman

The joy I feel as I look out my window
Fills me with wonder.
How can a heart fill this much
It strikes me with awe

The new life on the trees babies in carriages
This city has a beat of its own a love of itself.
The wonder of it all you can love and hate it
All at the same time

Walking the streets I feel so safe
Sirens whirling and horns honking
I see the looks on the new ones
They aren’t used to this
They are scared.
At any given time some one is going to
Jump out at them and get them

That’s not the case
People running from here to there
Moving in and out of the people
Traffic
If you aren’t moving fast we know that you
Don’t belong

That’s ok as long as you know the rules
You’ll be ok

This place has a life a heart beat all its own
To be here is to feel it as it engulfs you
As it feels you as it lives you as it loves
You
To love here is to live to live here is to love.

I realized I loved You

by

Allison Norman

When I realized I loved you I was taken by surprise
I knew I missed you, when you weren’t around
I knew I thought about you at odd moments in the day.

I miss you when we say good bye for only a few moments
I realized I loved you when I went out with some one else
The person I wanted near me was so far away from me.
I looked at this person and wondered what you would say
As we had our conversation

I realized I loved you at night when I say my prayers
When I say good night and you aren’t there.
I want you to know that I say all the time so that
Maybe the wind will carry it to you and you will know
That I am thinking of you and wanting to be with you

I realized I loved you when I speak of you I smile and
Get giddy.
My friends have pointed out how happy I am
That’s when I realized that you were the best
Thing to happen to me
That’s when I realized I loved you.

Fear

by

Allison Norman

I am so scared
I don't know quite
how to put it into words
Words that some one will
understand

I love you so very much
My fear is that you don't
feel the same or even close
about me

I didn't want you
to know how I felt
I wanted it to be a secret
or surprise

Just for oncr I wanted
my love to be something
wonderful, something nice

I wanted it to be mine

Just once I want my love to be
just that....love

i am

by

Allison Norman

I am hurting
I am scared
I am in love
I hate it
I am angry
I am depressed
I am happy
I am all of this
and more
I am hurting because I am in love
I am alive

Untitled

by

Allison Norman

Every time I give my heart I get hurt.
Every time I get hurt I have to wonder
why was I born

Was I born so that people could play games?
Was I born so that people can mistake my
kindness as a weakness?
Was I born so that I could always hope and
wish for something good?
Something that will never happen?

I have realized that I shall never have
love
I have realized that I will always have
heartache
I have realized that I will never give my heart
again.

THE FEAR

by

Allison Norman

Can you feel it?
The coldness inside me
I freeze up, my hands shake
I have this nervous feeling
in my stomach.

Can you feel it?
My heart beats so very fast
It skips beats
The iciness that surrounds it

The sleep I fall into is
restless and fitfull
I toss and I turn
My mind is full

I try not to think
I try to be positive
It is just so hard
When you can't breathe
When it grips your heart
and squeezes

What do I do when
the iciness grips me
When I cant breathe
My heart beats faster.....

I PRAY

games

by

Allison Norman

Does it make you grand?
Does it make you feel like a man
Why?

Does it make you better than I
Does it make your pain hurt less
Does it make you better than I
Do you like inflicting pain?
Why

Does it do you good to see me like this?
Does it make you feel at all
Does it make you think
Why

Did I do you something wrong?
Did I scare you?
Did I care too much?
Do you care at all?
Did you at anytime

Or was I the fool that I always am?
Giving the benifit of the doubt
Giving a piece of me?

I wish now I hadnt
Now it is that much harder to get back

Just let me know
Why was I fooled.

RICHARD ALLEN JR - 9/11/2001

by

Allison Norman

My Friend

I knew him when he was small
I watched him as we grew
He was my friend

I’ll never forget the times we played
Riding bikes and cops and robbers
I’ll never forget that time we tried to
Light a camp fire

I’ll remember all the special
Times we had because you were
Undoubtedly my friend
Words cannot come close to saying
What is in my heart
But I am doing the best I can

Although as we grew
Our paths crossed few
I remember when you were there for me
Your friendship kept me going as I knew you were
Rooting for me.
I knew that we would always be friends
I took that for granted

Now as I look back upon our time we shared
As scrawny kids I hold close the memories
As they are special and cherished as you are my friend
I know that you are in a better place
But I need you to know that I am a better person because I knew you
I will always remember that you are my friend.

I will miss you but I know that I will see you again
So keep my place with you my special friend.

Sienna, my daughter

by

Allison Norman

When I found out about you
I didn't know what to do.
My mouth hung open a few
minutes or two.
I thought that I couldn't do this
all alone and by myself, though your
dad does love you I knew,it was me or else.
I cradled you and talked to you often.
Upon my belly I would sing and read
You would kick and move as if understood
I was you mommy and loved you.
The day you came into this world was the best
day of my life.
All the issues and problems I had gone through
were no longer important.
You my love, my life, my daughter were the only thing
that mattered.
You humbled me, and loved me.
You my baby are the reason I am here.

I love you.

I wish I knew

by

Allison Norman

I wish I knew what was going on.
I wish I knew why you didn't want her
I wish I knew the reasons why
She won't be small forever
They grow up and move away
I wish I knew you plan of action
of why you don't see your baby
I wish I knew why you didn't want to
give her all the things you never had
I wish I knew the reason for your lack of support
Is it supposed to be punishment for me?

I wish I knew the reasons why your love is not for her.

Why

by

Allison Norman

As I sit and think
How I lost my heart, my soul
I wonder do you even know
what it's like to love like that
To feel the way I do about you
I think that you do not feel
I sit and cry all night
My stomach in knots
Can't eat, can't sleep
I know you are lying to me
I just want to know why?
Why lie?
Why?
I know I've lost you
I've had this feeling before
But you won't say anything
That's fear
The unknown
The what's coming
The white hot pain