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Christine Myers

of

Tampa Bay, FL, US

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Release My Pain By Way of My Vein

by

Christine Myers

Slash my arms my neck my face
Its none of your buisness
Its my place
Blood makes me feel less pain
Wounds tell a story
Wisdome to gain
Would you be mad at me
If I made one cut on my vein?
Would you be made at me
If I told you that I was insane?
Nothing to loose
Nothing to gain
Just let me be me
And release my pain by way of my vein...

A Note Through Suicide

by

Christine Myers

I thank those who drove me to this
I thank those who cared
I did this out of anger
I did this out of dispare
My life had no meaning
Why the hell am I here?
My whole world crumpled apart
I did this out of fear...

Clouds

by

Christine Myers

The clouds are swarming in a way
Across the big blue sky
The sun peeks in and out from beneith its veil
A chance to reinvent and to prevail
The warmness hits my nose and throws me back in time
To a place that seems so surreal and yet so divine

And no one told me not to cry

And no one told me to open my eyes
Look up at the big blue sky
One last chance before you die
Everyday those clouds go by
Some days I look upon
Other days I roll my eyes
To see such a sight of clouds at hand
So sick I go into disguise
I resist and wither away
The sun goes behind it's blinds
And a cold breeze warms my heart
Much to my suprise

And no one can tell me when to stop

And no one can tell me when to run and hide
Maybe I am too far gone
From down here the sky means nothing to me
I can see a billion of souls
Wrapped up in a billion of holes
And they saved one just for me....

The Rose

by

Christine Myers

My heart is a seed of love and joy
Grows with warmth
Blossoms with beauty
Watch my heart grow
With the love you give
It's roots shall thrive
With the rays of sun you shower
Watch my heart grow into a beautiful rose
Full of love and full of good
Shower me with those rays of love.
When you hurt me
Watch the rose wither in pain
From the jealosy the air posesses
Feel the rose shiver in fear
From words spoken so harsh
Pedal by pedal my rose shall blow away
From the sorrow you have inflicted
Leaving only the stem
Which is nothing but thorns....

Thank You My Friend

by

Christine Myers

Alone last summer
Sitting by the mirror
Wondering whats to be happening to me
So many pressures, so many questions
Too many answers
Too many truths I never wanted to see
Would cry in the morning
For wanting to die in the evening
Those nights were long, lonely and scarey
Always told myself to get over it
Nothing could get rid of
The feelings that were consuming me
I looked in the mirror
Which turned into a window
And saw help looking right back at me
It was a ray of light
A chance of hope
From a stranger that spoke kindly with me
I tore down my wall
To allow her into my mind
It was such a relief
She helped me the very first time
As weeks went on
I felt as though we formed a bond
I am amazed at her ways
She can calm even the roughest storm
When she speaks so softly to me
She understands everything I say
I hope I could be as she is one day
I know I got mad
One time when I was extremely sad
She had to put me away
But I know it was for my own safety
She did it because she cares
Its nice to know that someone does
I know now that she must of been sent from above
I can tell her everything
I dont have to hide anymore
Now thats some weight off of my shoulders
I am very thankful for
Susan, last summer I was suppose to die
But the angels sent to me one of their own
To guide me and stick by me
And allow me to see
That perhaps life isn't that bad
You saved my life last summer
I'm not sure if you even realize
How close I came to shutting my eyes
But you saved me last summer
Thank you Susan for not letting me die...

Electrified

by

Christine Myers

I'm flying high, but aiming low
Time flys by, it seems so slow
Im the greatest star, without a show
My mind says yes, but my body says no
Its my friend, but really a foe
I can fly, I don't think so...

No Need To Cry For Me

by

Christine Myers

Please don't cry for me
For I am not really gone.
I 'm the air that you breathe
and the harmony of a beautiful song.
I'm the whispering words in the wind
and the cool breeze from the sea
I'm the warmness of your heart
No need to cry for me...

What Should I Do?

by

Christine Myers

In about two seconds
I will give up
This is not positive
It's a major disrupt
I need my mind to stop thinking
and my body to heal
I will be in trouble now
If my left arm is to be revealed...

Thinking It Through

by

Christine Myers

On a sulky night
Sitting on my bed
Listening to sweet music
Thoughts of suicide fill my head

As I pick up my knife
I think of who I'll miss
Well no one cares for me
I give my daughter's picture a kiss

I have second thoughts
So I hesitate for a while
I look at my life
I give my daughter's picture a smile

If I kill myself
I'll hurt me and her too
Please put the knife down
Time to think this one through...

City Bench

by

Christine Myers

Sitting on a city bench
my thoughts frenzy
its my time to relax.
I hear a cluster of sounds

cars honking

people talking

birds churping

half empty soda's slurping

children crying

sidewalk hotdogs frying

Sitting on a city bench
my thoughts frenzy
its my time to relax.
I see a cluster of movement

cars stopping

people walking

hubcap rolling

shoppers strolling

taxi passes

ahead of it a cat dashes

I sit until night approaches
when it is here
I collect my thoughts of the day
and sort them out on the journey home...

You

by

Christine Myers

You know when to hurt me
You know when to make me cry
You know how to ruin me
Enough to make me want to die
You know how to hit me
You know how to attack
You know how to abuse me
Enough to make my inner soul turn black...

Your Silence

by

Christine Myers

My old friend, I never saw you again.
I wonder about the words I hear
Whispered from your lips, voices in the air.
And the thoughts that you planted in my brain
Make me feel insane
But why does hope remain?

Don't let me die from your silence...
Back then my wall, it seemed to disappear.
Exposing every weakness
Can you see my fear?
Tell me now, do you still care?
I was open as book with you
Several pages and it has all been true.
Some days I just can't get through
Without hearing some reality from you.
No other can influence me as much as you do
Except for myself, there really is no one else

Don't let me die from your silence...
Listen if you don't have the time
To help me understand these signs
When my soul is bare
Make me listen very hard, I don't care
You just can't leave me with visions of the past
It's hard to grasp

Don't let me die from your silence...

Secrets

by

Christine Myers

My life has been hard for years it seems
I don't know where I'm going, I have no dreams,
Anymore, you can look into my eyes and see how tired
I've grown.
Tired of keeping secrets that others have known,
Already, I'm not fooling you anymore.
You looked right through me today and I must say
I'm scared and mad and sad that there's nothing
I can do to make the lies that come off my lips,
Seem not so true.
Your words were powerful today, again I must say,
I know where I should stand but this part of me
Says who cares, throw it all away.
I'm facing a dead end if I don't take the words to heart,
I got scared today so I think I might start,
To take the advice given and try to start living,
If not for me now,
For the love I have made
You can take it from me,
Make it fade.
If I don't straighten up
That is what you told me and it made me afraid.
What you can do to me can hurt, is it what I deserve?
As I see it I say, there are two roads
One is addicting and unforgiven
And one that keeps me sane.
One is what you want for me,
The others the one with all the pain.
Crazy as it seems, I can't make up my mind.
Do I do what I got to do,
Or am I going to someday wake up and find
That it's too late,
I lost everything going good that's on my plate.
I'm telling you truely, I don't know what to do,
Am I going to choose death,
Or am I going to choose you?

Alan

by

Christine Myers

Alan, I did not listen, I did not know how

Perhaps I'll listen to you now.
Remember how I looked into your eyes?

You were so serious then
Hope to never see that look again.

I did not listen, I did not know how
Perhaps I'll listen to you now.

You carried me through the years
Been with me through the happiness

And been with me through the tears
Never once have you let me down

It's nice to have someone like you around.
Alan, I did not listen, I did not know how

I want to listen to you now.

Cant See You

by

Christine Myers

I didn't want to see you today, for some reasons I cant find the words to say.
I need that person that I wish you could be, you already told the story, I was blind but now I see.
You say its ethics, something I tried to break.
Its no use, you cant love me, feelings that are hard to take.
I couldn't see you, its best I stay away.
Vunerability I feel, my mind goes astray.
I think of you as that person, the one you can never be.
My heart reaches out to you, but you cant reach me.
I hate the game we play, you play the part, but end it when I demand for you to say.
The words I never will hear, I hold my breath waiting, but you made it quite clear.
Is it wrong for me to love you, is it wrong that I told you so?
If I heard it come from your lips, the happiness would be hard not to show.
I think you told me in a puzzle, to decifer has been a struggle.
You cant say in words how you feel, I wonder if someday you can be real.
I wonder if you would bend the rules, and feed the fire my heart needs that fuel.
Ethics is something I can live without, I wouldnt have to let my heart scream to you and shout.
Tell me you love me and I would hold those words close to my heart, I know I never will hear such a phrase, but if I did I know our relationship would have a new start.

Nana Ma

by

Christine Myers

We all treasure/the times in our memories we hold forever/you kept this family together/you had the heart that reached out to us whenever/good or bad you made us brave the weather/you were the center of attention/I need not mention/How many times we came to you/With troubles and triumphs/You seemed to always know/The next thing that had to be done/Talking to you was so much fun/You would say anything that you thought/And you always understood and never forgot/You were the true grand matriarch/Your karma was golden/Thats why we blessed you with the ocean/Your wishes came true/When your son put the ashes to/The waters you loved/I know you watched from the heavens above/Where your free to fly away/And you will always have peaceful days/God works in mysterious ways/You're like a diamond in the rough/beautiful but you never had enough/ time on this earth/You died young/I thought we would always have more time to come/Our saddness for the pain/of loosing you I never could ex!

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