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Ben Mercer

of

Hays, KS, US

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Shoe Soul

by

Ben Mercer

My soul lives inside my shoe
It hides there very well
And if you try to steal my shoe
I'll see you down in hell
Leave me alone or sit right there
I don't really care
Just please be quiet
I don't really want to talk right now
Just want to sit and feel your presence
You feel so pure and kind
And I'm so scummy and evil
How did I get this way?
Why do I feel this way?
I don't know, I can't explain
I wish I could, but I can't
And so I sit here watching my soul as it climbs up the stairs
And into the box I keep myself in
Hiding from everything that there is, and was, and will be
My soul is in my shoe
I don't know how it got there but it is and I can't change that
So I won't try
I'll just walk carefully
And try to protect my foot as best I can


ViSiON

by

Ben Mercer

Upside down
Looking at everything from a skewed perspective
Names screamed at nothing that can answer
Waiting for something that never comes
Never has come
Never will come
Door opens, closes, spin around to see who it is
Not you
Idiot checking up on me
For no reason at all
Why can't you leave me alone?
Why can't everyone leave me alone?
Why can't I just live by myself?
Looking at everything differently from everyone else
I'm a freak who knows it and isn't sure if he cares or not
Sometimes I do, sometimes I don't
Why do people have to be so stupid?
Why can't they all leave me be?
Sychoanalize me into the dirt
"Ashes to ashes and dust to dust"
I wish
Fall on the ground
Fall in the dirt
Kicked in the face 'til the blood flows freely
Lick my lips
Tastes so sweet
How can it when it comes from me?
I hope it never stops flowing
But no, it clots and I'm still alive
"...Skin and hair..."
Shut up
Leave me alone
Please
I don't want anymore
I am one
I don't need anyone
I don't care
No I do
I do want a few people around
I do care for a few people
But do they care for me?
Do I want to know?
No probably not
I'd rather believe what I believe and forget about the truth
"The truth hurts"
How true that is
But is truth always true?
Who knows
I look at everything upside down
Take the world and spin it 'round
Then you'll see it through my eyes.


Ode to the Mermaid

by

Ben Mercer

Standing in the forest by the pool
Watch the fish dart by

A new form enters the water
Human face, flowing blonde hair
eyes as blue and clear as the water
Look deep into those eyes
Feel the call to join in the water, with the water

Break the call and try to return one of your own
One to make her join you on the shore
She hears your unspoken plea
See it in your eyes

Fins become legs
She pulls herself up beside you
You stare at her unabashedly
Her glistening pale skin
flowing blonde hair
seaweed dress that sways lightly in the breeze

You feel her eyes upon you
And raise your gaze to meet hers
Peering out of green-blue eye shyly
Into your own ice blue ones
Melting your eyes, soul, heart
While setting you blood aflame

She timidly reaches out
You reach out as well
Hands clasp as breath comes in gasps
You can actually touch her!
She moves into embrace
Arms encircle bodies

This girl of your dreams
has finally reached the real world


Happiness and Bliss

by

Ben Mercer

Fear of you has gone away
Far to the place where nothing stays
Where everything is dark and black
And the rain falls continually in the back
Of the room where teh boxes stand
And where every conspirator planned
To take over the world with such and such
And everything was discussed too much
Until all instructions have gone on home
And I am here, all alone
Sitting here in my thoughts
In my dreams, I sit here lost
For every thought I think is of you
And nothing that happens doesn't remind me of who
I love and cherish and wish I were with
But I just sit here alone in the mist
As the rain stops but the darkness stays
And I can never get away
To you.


Jepeto's Slave

by

Ben Mercer

Fond memories of someone I never knew
Bleeding into my mind until there is nothing left
but an empty sole filled with someone else's thoughts
Of love and life and death, pain and strife
And I am not my own anymore
Just a puppet of someone else
Longing to break thses blasted strings
And run to you who I love
you who I long to be with
Forever
But my strings are too strong
And I cannot break free
So I sit here writing these words
Striving so hard to get them all down
Before the master returns
And the strings move
Controlling me once
aga...i...n


Dryer

by

Ben Mercer

In the time of my life
With the order of out
I lost my mind
With the blood of the earth
And when I left
It took my soul
And everything was over
As the sky fell through time
And into my life
To end it all
In a blaze of philosophy
that made no sense
And lost all consciousness
In the pile of life
That makes up
My loneliness


Shadowed

by

Ben Mercer

Dark shadowed eyes
And hair of dye
Draw my thoughts to insanity
And stupidity
And I wonder again
Why I am here
Instead of there
With you
"But you're in college now..."
but who cares?
I don't want to be here
What good does it do?
Not much that I can see
"Don't say that!"
Why not?
It's true!
But then I shake my head
Clearing up my deviant thought
And my eyes fall again
On the girl with the dark shadows
And I wonder why
She reminded me of you
Because you are so much
More beautiful


Watercolor Horses

by

Ben Mercer

Watercolor horses
Red, blue, orange, and green
unable to run free.
Kind of like these words
Trapped inside this page
unable to be said.
A lot like us
Trapped inside this
Useless existence
unable to do good
And
unable to change.


On Life

by

Ben Mercer

Life sometimes seems like
A bunch of expletives
but then
a smile
or
kind voice
can turn it into something
rather nice.
But then there are
the times when
instead of a
kind word
or
smile
we get
slammed
or mocked
and
we go over
the edge
and never
come back.


Untitled

by

Ben Mercer

when i fall
the wind rushes by my ears
like a freight train
so i'm told
for i have never fallen
only stood at the edge
and wondered

if i could fly
i don't know where i'd go
once, i wrote about flying to you
but you're gone
and i'm still stand here
at the edge, wondering...