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Romualdo A. Mabuan

of

Manila, Philippines

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ra.mabuan@yahoo.com (Romualdo A. Mabuan)


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Scourge

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

I will never drink your blood in the cold nights only to find in the morning I was drained. No, never will I try to kiss you under the full moon only to find you're a piece of citadel staring at me. I was once held captive by your resistless beauty and you made me your slave, I was cowered, blinded, distorted by your venenific charm, your words keep on bulldozing my mind, hugging me in the restless nights, making me dumb, until in time, when I woke up, I can't remember things about me.


BJ

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan


naniningkit ang mga mata ng anitong animo'y nahahapo

habang pigil ang hiningang nakatitig

sa bawat pagkislot-paggalaw ng anak ng engkatado

sinusuyod ng husto ang puno't dulo

ayaw tantanan ang bawat pagsirko

habang sa duluha'y nagngangalit ang kalikasan

at palakas ang pagsargo ng tubig-baha

waring di mawari ang alimpuyo't lakas

walang tigil, tumitindi, umaalpas

kinilala na niyang ganap ang trono:

hinagka't hinaplos ang buong korona

samantalang sa langit ang buwa'y malungkot pa rin

sa habambuhay nitong pag-iisa

prisoner

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

and i rolled up

once again

in this four-cornered haven

trying to brave

the darkness, the agony

while i think of our good times

and bad days

now i'm alone

afraid to face the world

trying to seek myself, braving my fears

and when it rains

willing to bathe with men of new faces

just to forget the past

as it beckons to my head

and i'm a left a fool

and oh, sh*t

i still want YOU now

Sandstones

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

I still dream of those long, beaten pathways

with orange leaves scattered on the sands and stones

the soft kiss of these cold, dewy mornings

and their tenderness embracing my soul

and there is still time to think of those long, quiet wanderings

under the downpour of these long, winter nights

the soot and dung wrapping to form clouds coming from my cup

as I stretch to welcome your return.

I still dream of those long, beaten pathways

with orange leaves scattered on the sands and stones

the soft kiss of these cold, dewy mornings

and their tenderness embracing my soul.

You are the leaves; spilled paint on concrete

I am my bones, I cannot escape

I traveled this path in continuous autumn

but winter is here now and taking its shape.

Ephemera

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

Thus it begun:

with a clutch of destiny

you came

just a moment before i turn into vapor

of nothingness

then there was life

there were smiles--some wan

some bright, some mixed up

you're a spell-- shorter than i expected

will you touch me again

or will you just be a mere memory?

tell me, oh please, tell me

how would i exist without you?

Tanned

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

You were meant to destroy the history of your clan
At the coming of the twilight you will sprinkle the blood
These great judges that sentenced the rise of your life
Will soon travel back to embrace your ultimate touch

Yesterday you were raised in a darker cane of your false destiny
To be fed on suffering, grudge, and blithe idiocy
Today your identity appeared on the face of the earth: redeemed
Casting the every countenance, trailing to become great

Bi

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

They come to the earth naked.

Innocence is their only reason to try.

That one expression.

Perversion is their sweetest wine.

And transversion, their undying fetish.

Then there’s rubber, dildo, and toy.

Packed with psycho-pseudo and mixed with limbo.

And what the world gets: aggressive catalysts.

That one expression.

Brought them to fame.

And infamy.

Who can blame these souls?

To whom have they sinned?

Who can cast the stone to whom? Who is the righteous?

Happy Trip

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

The night has fallen.
Can you feel the somber shadow
of the dark engulfing my soul?

Tomorrow at dawn
you'll leave for wherever your destiny takes you
slowly, slowly, slowly
hot tears tiptoe on my cheeks
Will there be a cool air to fan my temple?

A smoke of cloud
has just clandestinely passed by.
Do you know where it is going?
Outside the sky's overcast
In few moments
it will drizzle
Can we bathe in the rain?
Can we hold each other for the last time?
Can I touch you, kiss you?

Ah, look up the lonesome dandelion in the sky
it sprinkles its yellowish spirit
to the deaf and mute leaves afloat in the river
they can feel no more
they can hear the music of the night no more
just drifting to nowhere
freely, freely, freely
like souls banished to eternity

A gust of wind has just whispered
softly, softly, softly
to my soul
telling me to hang on

The sky now cries, weeps, shrieks
hardly, hardly, hardly
when will it last?
will it linger till morrow?

Oh, it's now dawn
soon the aurora borealis will come out
and lest I shall be no more to see you go
I must pause and whisper to you now:

So long, my baby, adieux
happy trip, happy trip!

Our Lives

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan



Some men fight their battle
Warriors
Some refuse to fight
Coward
Some plan to conquer the world
Brave
Some prefer to be slaves
Captives
Some stand up with their beliefs
Principled
Some give up their identity
Losers
Some play their scores
Performers
Some just cheer
Fanatics
Some get life
Life-goers
Some drop it in a corner
Procrastinators
Some live their dreams
True believers
While others let them die
Living dead!

You are what you do,
You do what you are.

Today, I Will Be Great

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan



Today, I will be great.
I will be the master of myself
I will conquer the world
And I shall not be defeated.
I will be the shaker and mover of my today
I will let the world watch my race
I will cast them my every countenance
And I shall receive their kudos.
Today, I will brave the fiercest winds
I will climb the highest mountains
I will build a gilded citadel for my stand
And the courage will be my wings.
I will cross the deepest ocean
I am a ship with a rudder and I can go wherever I want
I will touch the sky and kiss the moon
And I will be an intrepid traveler.
Today, I will be great.
I will be a graceful warrior
And I shall not be defeated.
I will fight,
And I shall triumph.

The Amount of Hypocrisy

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

In the name of the Money
Of its Power
And of its condemned Resentment

I zeal of you and praise with all my soul
My burning soul in the midst of bewilderment
I praise you, haughty defiled greediness
For you are my powers, my lavishness
There’s no such thing higher than you
For you bring lusts, fleshy aims
I am kneeling before you
And you give me death alone

You are my vexatious shepherd
And my chaotic body is on wreckage
You laugh aloud before me
And shout a high numbness
I will tingle for your every villainy
And the heavens will see me punished

I will walk I the shadow of your wickedness
To seek your pleasure, your lissome world
Searching its veracity as soul is limned
Gnarled many times then burned

With you, wrath is stirred
And trifle leads to distress
Magic’s utilized, evil is devised
And souls vanished, everything odds furbished

Laments are the backgrounds
In your tumultuous room
Killings, roorbacks
Are displayed in your crimsoned walling at noon
Everything’s weary, ill, and jinx
Everybody’s sick, cursed and fierce

Money, what’s in you?
You make me happy, make me sinful
You make me mad, make me a fool
You darken my ways and cover them with black
You bring me far away from my real God.

Musika

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

Heto ako
nakababad sa dilim
lango sa musika ng awitin mong
kirot ang hatid sa
bawat notang matutugtog
at masasalat ng diwa kong
uhaw sa isang ikaw—

Lason
ang dulot ng bawat segundong
umaalipin sa kuwerdas ng aking
katinuan
pangungulila ang tunog ng iyong paglisan
—isa kang obra-maestrang
inagaw sa akin ng mga kuko ng tadhana

Pinilit kong kalabitin
ang musika mong
bathala ng aking guniguni at mga pangarap
subalit
ako’y nabigo: naputol ang mga litid
ng aking pagnanasa

Naririnig kita
buhat sa Silangan
subalit di ka matagpuan
ng aking balintataw:

nariyan ka’t nariya’y
hindi ko naman mahagkan.

Beads of Passion: Haiku

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

1 Down the golden aisle
Through the mountains, great oceans
They don’t bid good-byes

2 On a rainy day
Beads of raindrops wet his face
As he waited her

3 During the twilight
The moon appears so glaring
To kiss her goodnight


4 The dry leaf travels
To nowhere and to no place
Finding the way home

5 The real love awaits
Till dark hair turns into gray
Or until the death

6 She cried and she wept
When he said he is leaving
To find his real life

7 To a pessimist
Love is a stupid thing
Like his hopelessness

8 In his eyes she saw
The passion he used to show
"Man, is this true love?"



Musika

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

Heto ako
nakababad sa dilim
lango sa musika ng awitin mong
kirot ang hatid sa
bawat notang matutugtog
at masasalat ng diwa kong
uhaw sa isang ikaw—

Lason
ang dulot ng bawat segundong
umaalipin sa kuwerdas ng aking
katinuan
pangungulila ang tunog ng iyong paglisan
—isa kang obra-maestrang
inagaw sa akin ng mga kuko ng tadhana

Pinilit kong kalabitin
ang musika mong
bathala ng aking guniguni at mga pangarap
subalit
ako’y nabigo: naputol ang mga litid
ng aking pagnanasa

Naririnig kita
buhat sa Silangan
subalit di ka matagpuan
ng aking balintataw:

nariyan ka’t nariya’y
hindi ko naman mahagkan.

Beads of Passion: Haiku

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

1 Down the golden aisle
Through the mountains, great oceans
They don’t bid good-byes

2 On a rainy day
Beads of raindrops wet his face
As he waited her

3 During the twilight
The moon appears so glaring
To kiss her goodnight


4 The dry leaf travels
To nowhere and to no place
Finding the way home

5 The real love awaits
Till dark hair turns into gray
Or until the death

6 She cried and she wept
When he said he is leaving
To find his real life

7 To a pessimist
Love is a stupid thing
Like his hopelessness

8 In his eyes she saw
The passion he used to show
"Man, is this true love?"



My Ambiguous Love

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan


Sparrow's Egg

Lead, Kindly Light

Memories, Ghosts

MRT from Baclaran late at night

Lives, Deaths

Immortality

The Aftermath of Love

Betrayal, Butterflies fluttering in the wilderness

Ego, Libido, Lies

Quiapo, Malate, Anito

In a Small Private Room

Laughs, Tears, Laughs again

Agoraphobic in Love

Like Salad

by

Romualdo A. Mabuan

I wake up once again
Standing
Braving the day-to-day burden
Of an ordinary person

In my mind, I still dream
Of long and beaten pathways
Of a distant murmur of the woods
Of a child’s chuckle
They send me calm assurance__
Urge me to let live

Somewhere, a dewdrop kisses the orange leaves scattered on sandstones

These warm winter mornings
And cold summer nights
Persist in my memory
Permeate into my skin
Seep into my bones
Hollering the sham reality this world keeps everyday

Still I wait for a flicker in the horizon
To give me a silent certainty
A shove to continue miming
The language of my soul

Till this moment, I still yearn for a sweet escape__
A Utopia beneath and beyond

In the meantime, this is my poetry
Deathless like eternity
Healing like a serum
Cathartic like love
Lush and green like salad