The Web Poetry Corner

Charity Ann Livingston

of

Omaha, NE, US

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Tales of Arsenic & Forrest Gump

by

Charity Ann Livingston

This wintry, rainy morning reminds me so much of you
The rainy days we spent outside, dreaming of "fishing",
of dancing, dreaming of life. It was on a rainy day like
this one-emotions like these, clouds like these-a dream you
tried to share with me. And nothing seemed so real, nothing
seemed more alive, more vibrant and colorful than it did
that day. Still, I become nauseated every time i think of
that day, it makes me sick to remember it, but it will never
really leave me, and neither will you. As much as I might
hate you sometimes, you will always share rainy days w/me.

R.I.P. (too late)

by

Charity Ann Livingston

Your story's been told in so many ways
You have been likened to every god
Tragically brief, beautiful young life
Where too much was going way too fast
They blame it on the drugs and stress
They would never know the truth unless they'd been there
That hole inside of you never really goes away
But you tried to fill it with booze, drugs and sex
A wife and a child, look what you left behind

Untitled

by

Charity Ann Livingston

if there is a place like heaven inside of me
i can't find it...if there is a paradise in my heart, i am
still searching...it's in there somewhere, between the gray
and the red, the black and the white...and there is a place
of unconstrained creativity wedged in there (found it once or twice
but misplaced it again)...but i promise--and i never break promises-that i won't quit searching...
i will find them...and maybe there is hope...all kinds of hope...

Promises

by

Charity Ann Livingston

It was the stuff of dreams--well, actually, it was a dream
My dream of friendship and peace between us
God, it was so nice, I wanted to cry when i realized it was not real
Why did I have to wake up? Why did harmony between us end?
I wish i could talk to you
Shower me with your understanding
Envelop me in your compassion
show me more than just your joking

Warmer Weather

by

Charity Ann Livingston

Nights like these make me want to go outside, look at the stars,
and smoke cigarettes until dawn, but tonight does not have that hypnotic effect on me. I will sit alone, though, stewing and churning inside,
with the steam coming out of my fingers. On nights like these i love to watch the sunrise from my bedroom window, but not tonight, for I need my rest.
On nights like these i love to socialize, and entertain guests at midnight, but still I sit alone.
All of those things are different tonight. Things have changed. Things change inside, regardless of how hard you try to
maintain "sameness" on the outside. Regardless of whether or not there is a battery in your clock, time marches on, proud
to be indifferent.
Things have changed dramatically inside of me, for I feel more nauseous than i did the last time i laid in this bed, and I
cannot even remember that for the life of me.
This night is merely a baby step, the second or third, with many more to follow. For I know I have to walk away from
you eventually, and I also know that i have waited entirely too long. I know you cannot stop me.

The Harvest Moon

by

Charity Ann Livingston

Have I seen pain, have I lived life to the fullest extent?
And do you know?
The suffering that I am letting you cause me is unnecessary,

but I do not know how to stop
Stopping is withdrawal, and to pull away from you

feels like death, like a ripping apart of me
On some other level do I see
A path through the rest of this pain?
Somewhere inside of me, will i find
An acceptable answer for myself
Right now I am surrounded by confusion,

confusion all around, not always darkness,

some light, some hope, some love, but I am

still confused. Where are all the answers?
Are you merely hesitant to tell me?
Will I ever know?

Have I known all along?

A Raped Society

by

Charity Ann Livingston

I am full of so much angst
With few words left to express it
Why can't i accept my life as it is
imperfect
can't kill myself or anyone else
can't violate society in return
and your suicide haunts me, for I am so much like you
Your suicide stalks me, tempts me, angers me. and saddens me
You had so much potential& promise, so many gifts,
It troubles me when i remember I have these same things
It scares me whenever I think I might follow in your footsteps
My suicide would be another statement for our fucked-up world
I am not ready to become a martyr to a cause I don't support
why did you have to take your life
A bad example for the rest of us
My twisted mind processes scary thoughts
My crazy heart churns out overwhelming feelings
How do I cope? And why am I asking you
Your solutions are all wrong.

three years and some pain

by

Charity Ann Livingston

Is this love, I need to ask myself again...I have defined love,
and I do not know if what we are experiencing is love. But what do we have?
Are we lying to ourselves? My history repeats itself. I have married my father,
well, a younger, more caring, more joking and less hardened version of my
father. But still, the feelings are the same. I have worked on acceptance,
accepting my father for who he is, and i think I might have finally reached some
acceptance, after so long, so much anger, so many death wishes, and so many tears.
But now I think I need to work on this other relationship, this newer one, regardless of how
childish, immature, insignificant-by-comparison it is.
Why have things stayed just the same for so long?
Am I just too afraid of being alone?
I used to love being alone
Now I feel alone, even when I am surrounded by love...
I guess this is not truly love
but a stupid adolescent lie
the truth hurts
sometimes
love hurts
sometimes
life hurts
sometimes

girl

by

Charity Ann Livingston

I dont need you to "take care of me"
I don't need you to change my tire
I do not want your shallow stories
I do not hear your lies
I do not think of myself as a "girl"
I am as human as you are
maybe even more so
I could be so much more than just a little girl
if you would only listen to me
believe me
don't judge me
for i am not who you believe
you do not understand me
man