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The Web Poetry Corner

Doug Larson

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Long Beach, CA, US

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A Mother's Treasure

by

Doug Larson


In sudden pieces
it lay quiet upon
the tiled floor. Shards
in loose mosaic scattered
like leaves to blow away.

"Only a vase." I thought.
I hoped. The room seemed
to breathe contempt like bile
in the air. Shards
in loose mosaic assembled
like a jury of my peers.

"Only a vase! Did you hear him?"
The chorus grew in spades.
"His mother's prized collection!
The toil of her life he trades
for a moment of satisfaction!"

Only my curiosity;
or was it, though? Perhaps.
Yet even now I wonder
if my logic conceals hidden traps
to betray my overt blunder.

The door looms
ever closer and more ominous
with every passing second.
The moment pending madness
as her arrival becomes imminent.

The car.
In the driveway now
the motor running now
it's not. The door latching
open, her high heels on the walk

and the door;
now slamming shut as if
to chop a melon into a basket
to the roar
of a cheering crowd.
And those footsteps growing loud.

The knob turns
and the door latches open
with bone dry hinges creaking.
Now she is here. Towering over
this shattered scene, not speaking.

She stands there quietly;
(eyes wandering across the room)
where the pieces of her life are strewn.
A little boy is crying, me.
She bends down to look

into my eyes.
She puts her arms around me
hugging me close. A warm place
against her breast, and lovingly
whispers, "It's only a vase."


Playground of the Wild Boys

by

Doug Larson


Where the wild boys play
-
Jungle noises dance the wind
while raucous rhythms slay
our shattered nerves
-
Where the wild boys play
-
Earthquakes shake us at our roots
Lakes of sand congeal and pool
to flood dirty tennis shoes
-
Where the wild boys play
-
Bruises rise volcanically
beneath dry matted crusts of glee
Scabs beset most every knee
-
Where the wild boys play
-
The branches sway in sultry dance
upon the singing breeze
And happiness grows on trees
-
Where the wild boys play
-
They grow a little taller
each and every passing day
And their clothes are getting smaller
-
Where the wild boys play
-
Their voices grow lower
and their minds start to stray
Testosterone rules the day
-
Where the wild boys play
-
And someday soon will find them
running wild beneath the sheets
in a softer kind of way
-
Where the wild girls lay

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The Midnight Fly

by

Doug Larson

Intent with chaotic patterns
fomenting behind compound eyes,
he circumnavigates the room
in furtive orbit, flies.

Overwrought he searches vainly
for a route to gain egress.
His modulated murmuring
foretells futile success.

I cannot sleep. This ceaseless buzz
obstructs my precious rest.
I rise from my intent repose,
to thus my talents test.

Now he and I, two combatants
face off amidst this room.
Before this night is over
he is sure to meet his doom.

I parry, thrust, assail my foe;
defend his bold incursion
into my humble domicile -
- I will achieve dispersion!

I follow him with blurry eyes.
He sees me in profusion,
the many facets of myself
produce the coveted illusion

that I need to be triumphant
in this essential quest.
I swing in stealthy rectitude
and pass this noble test.

Submit a poem for analysis.

Hum

by

Doug Larson

There is a time of day
sound ebbs and wanes away.
It would be gone but for the film
it leaves as it's decay.

There is a time of night
the humming of the light
above your desk is all you hear
to mask the silence of your ear.

It is in this awful time alone
when full of fears you sit
and contemplate the empty drone
that loneliness will find you home.

Poetry Competition

Sids and Sorrow Under a New Moon

by

Doug Larson

New moon night of dreams
shines blue too many times.
I fail to comprehend
his oh, so silent cries.
I lie asleep in wonder,
and his lilliputian silence
does not pierce
the veil of my slumber.
Under starry skies I fail
in my imbued responsibility,
with his susceptibility
now exposing my neglect.
My steadfast culpability
becomes the judge and jury
that will hang me with a supine rope.
The tightly knotted hemp
of my deficit abilities
lies brittle as a starfish;
crumbles from my neck in shattered morsels.
Star light, star bright
I wish I may, I wish. I wish.
I wish I might;
but from his peaceful sleep, tonight
he will not wake to see me cry.
And everything lies brittle
now, lost to incumbent dreams.
Father moon is new and disappears
under starry, starry skies.

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In Envy of Icarus

by

Doug Larson

Into the rush of the day he flew
heedless of the wind,
no thought to gravity; the sucking earth
wheezing at the souls of his feet;
asthmatic geriatric four billion years old
and crumbling at the seams.
He felt his dreams, cold and wild
fill his famished lungs
as he remembered the gentle tug
of a warm summer's day. The child within him
wanting desperately to dance upon the breeze;
but finding the dull, mature sleep of reality
too compelling a partner.
All for naught it was,
for his dreams were forged of hardened steel
wrought in the furnaces of Hell,
and he was destined to fall from grace
like a riddled Stuka; a screaming burning ember
to bury himself in the crust of the Earth;
a repulsive pockmark on the smooth face of the world.
He stared up at the heavens with devastation
streaming from his charbroiled eyes.
His brittle body crushed into the mantle
in a metamorphic jumble, mouthing silent words
upon the deaf ears of his ancient and impotent Gods,
pleading vainly for mercy and another chance to fly
high above the clouds like a stratospheric bird.
And lo, he felt a certain lightness of being,
and looking down once more upon the earth
he saw himself crumpled and broken, far below.
The invisible hand of God was lifting him unto the Heavens;
placing gilded wings upon his shoulders, and lighter now
than even the air, in effortless flight, his soul did sing
as his body crumbled into dirt.
Oh, how I envy dear Icarus!
The way that he flew
swiftly on into the rush of the day,
heedless of the wind,
with not a thought to gravity,
and endless dreams, cold and wild,
to pave his way on into the endless void.

Submit a poem for analysis.

Clean to the Bone

by

Doug Larson

Deep as bone,
beneath his blood-filled flesh
rest secret stores of vile fantasies
unfulfilled, the light of day
a stranger to the dreams of night
that dance upon the moonbeams bright,
in wicked passion plays.

Beneath his skin,
his memories in sour breath
reveal his taste for ugliness,
surreal in a sensual way,
his monsters draped in lingerie
parade slavishly before their King;
their genitalia on display.

In his pith
he feels their pain, laments
their grief; tortured distress
in pixie smells to fill his aching head.
He drinks in passionate embrace
with thirsty gulps, their swelling juices;
nectar for his shriveled heart.

In his mouth
a desert boils, blistering
his tongue, yet even now his lips are wet
with liquors spent in lurid ways.
He counts the minutes, hours, days
like grains of sand to blow on winds
in stinging clouds so far away.

His time is gone.
His horrid flesh dissolved away
by worms and beetles and decay,
the depth of bone, reveals at last
his hidden truth now on display,
cleansed by the fire of the sun,
revealed to the light of day.

Bleach-white bones
in structured order, elegant
in their array upon the hungry soil,
perverse no more, nothing left to spoil
the innocence and purity of childhood dreams.
His meatless jawbone lectures silent
lessons in anatomy.

Poetry Competition

Last Dance at the Edge of Zero

by

Doug Larson

Time is out of time.
So now I write this epilogue
or epitaph;
to eulogize future history here,
at the end of time.

There was a time,
all our efforts to prevent
it's passing
exposed our hidden impotence
somewhere in our history.

I remember a time
that you and I designed our dreams
for the future,
now passed into sweet oblivion
before our aging eyes.

We dreamed of tomorrow,
and tomorrow always rose with the sun
to melt the dew,
and we basked in the moment, the warm
fingers of the present on our skin.

Now, there is no time.
The future is disappearing at the edge
of the world,
and the sweet scent of the moment fades
into the insatiable abyss.

There once was a time
less urgent, for tomorrow's promise
of another chance.
Now, all I ask is for one last dance, here;
at the edge of zero.

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Virtual Sex

by

Doug Larson

It is useless to resist
the temptation of a kiss,
or that primal tugging at your loins.
The discretionary tryst
right under your skin,
blood pulsing sin
throughout your hungry flesh, searching
for a place to put it in
and use it as was meant.
With ecstasy now spent
in afterglow and lazy respiration,
your hard desire softly bent
like your broken will so resolute;
you lie there satisfied and mute,
a smile resting on your trembling lips.
The sweetness of forbidden fruit
now fills your dreams
with lustful screams
throughout the loneliness of night,
until the sun flows morning streams
through eastern windows to your bed,
to wake you from your fitful rest
with last night's odors dark and deep
to fill your cavern chest
with sweet hot satisfaction.
And you will rise to the occasion;
for the evening brought you boundless joy
or at least, a simulation.

Submit a poem for analysis.

Eruption

by

Doug Larson

Pinotubo
with his pyroplastic flows,
his sister Helen and her explosive temper,
they have twin brothers in the city.
They died today
first one, then the other.
As the villagers ran,
chased by pyroplastic flows
in concrete steel canyons,
we numbly watched -
first one then the other,
then each other.

Poetry Competition

Husk

by

Doug Larson

Drained and brittle dry
a cicada’s husk am I
sucked clean exhausted sigh
the denouement of the day

Eviscerated spent and flop
upon expectant bed
a hurricane spins like a top
inside my weary head

The night creeps bug-like
hours wane like minute trains
measured time a voltage spike
the morning comes again

Thus the empty days must pass
summer sun winter rains
this repetitious stale morass
of sweet life’s gentle pain

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Day Off

by

Doug Larson

Saturday morning. 8 A.M.
One cup of Joe inside,
shower and breakfast pending.
Itchy eyes, back stiff.
Head clogged, throat tickles.
Stomach gurgling for food,
what's the agenda for the day?
Make a list: Number 1, Number 2...
Cartoons playing in the next room.
I wish I was a Power Ranger.

Submit a poem for analysis.

Routine

by

Doug Larson

Morning cartoons
chill air, apprehension
anticipation
aggravation.
Children moving too slowly
not ready to go
leaving the house
with uncombed hair.
Reminding.
Re-reminding.
Don't forget x, don't forget y,
did you remember z?
The Dow is down.
Keep smiling.
the sun is shining.
Time to go.
Save your file.
Whoosh.

Poetry Competition

Homework

by

Doug Larson

Homework, an untidy chore
often ugly, certain bore.
Drives kids crazy
when they're tired.
Makes them nervous,
anxious, wired.
A frustration, surely
a necessity?
Well, we did it
didn't we?
Did we need it?
I don't know.
In some of us
it shore down't show.
In others,
it is crystal clear
and still remains
the student's fear.
A bane most foul;
a dragon's breath,
and if not finished
certain death.
Well, maybe not
such dread infraction,
but if we fail
by our inaction
then we lose
our self respect,
and when considered
(introspect)
we choose to try
and do our best,
and in so doing
pass the test.

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Artisan Moon

by

Doug Larson

If I were a painter
I would paint
the canvas of you naked
with sable soft brushes
colors and flavors
from my palette of sweets
soft marshmallow clouds
beneath your swelling peaks
capped with sweet whipped cream
and bright yellow lemon drops
verdant green buttercream
lining the valley in between
a river of blueberry syrup
lusciously meandering
to fill a navel lake
fields of lemon wheat
swaying lightly in your sun
with liquid citrus rainbows
beneath a licorice syrup nighttime sky
and stars of edible silver
holding hands
with a scooter pie moon
I would ravish you
with Cezanne flowers
Degas dancers
Monet lilies
and go wild
like Pollack
Silver Over Black
on your naked back
O’Keefe’s Oak Leaves
to hold your hips
Gaugin’s Matamoe
caressing your lips
and then
fingerpaint like a child
innocent and bright with wonder
until you release
and sweetly sigh.

Submit a poem for analysis.

Painting Walls with Water

by

Doug Larson

Once, when I was little
and the day was hot and dry,
my mother filled my little pool
and handed me a brush.
She told me to paint the wall -
the hard, thirsty cinderblock
that defined the borders
of my safe, little world.
My sister and I would paint
for a very long time;
for when your task is such,
and the weather is such,
it is very hard to paint fast enough
to cover very much.
We painted the walls gladly,
for the work was fun.
It really didn't matter that
our handiwork dried up in the sun.
We were glad to have the job,
for meaningful work was scarce
for little boys and girls.
We had such job security
that we most certainly
could have had our jobs forever.
And when it rained, or got cold
we didn't have to work -
but time passed. We got old.
I have a new job now.
The substance of my work more durable,
albeit not as reliable
as water drying in the sun.
I am also certain that with time,
the fruit of my labors will evaporate;
just like water on a concrete wall.
The other day, I filled
a plastic pool with water.
I gave each of my children a brush,
and I told them to paint the wall
that divides our home from the next.
They were happy for the work
and they painted freely
with confident strokes.

Poetry Competition

Submariner

by

Doug Larson

A am a submariner;
or, at least, I was.
Hooked firmly to a tethered line
I floated in a sea of brine.
Warm, the gentle seas of Gaia
held me tenderly in liquid arms.
-
Harshly came the storm
that tore me from my moorings;
my holdfast slipping from the rock
to tumble me through liquid space
and pour me blue upon dry land.
-
That was so long ago.
My tethered line, long since cut.
I walk upright now upon the land,
breathing air into my lungs,
tethered now with veiled cords;
freedom forever at arm's length.
-
Still, I am a submariner
in the depths of my heart.
I dream of dark and silent waters,
their distant throbbing in my ears.
Warm, the gentle seas of Gaia
call to me throughout my years.

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Tuesday

by

Doug Larson

First, I was dreaming.
Then in my dream
I was listening to a song
"I See All Good People" by Yes.
Then I woke to the clock radio.
It clicked on and,
starting right at the beginning,
played the song.
It was like a premonition;
or a message.
-
Drive to work
Walk in the door
phone wailing like an infant
no time
no time
everybody needs it now
yesterday
and they expect me to deliver
just like Domino's pizza guy
tick tock tick tock
then it's almost one o'clock
I gotta run
U.S. customs at one-thirty
I'll do lunch down and dirty
Chicken McNuggets with Traffic Jam
God damn
dip and drip
bite and drive
slurp a sip
fuck this jive
STOP!
What's up with this truck?
(another message..)
Right lane closed ahead merge left.
Oh. Fuck.
Cranes in the harbor stand like sauropods over the water
waiting for a ship born meal
I creep like a bug over green metal span
cables of pipe as thick as a man
and wire rope as thick as your hand
I can see the twin domes of the coke terminal
their nipple-chutes and D-cup shape
and I dub them
laughing
the Pam Anderson Monument
Arteries of conduit running above
a sea of green white and orange containers
that stretch through mechanical jumble
to the bay
I'm almost there.
Would be, if it weren't for this train.
(again, another message..)
Triethylenetetramine
what the hell is that used for?
car after car of it
Can't be late for my Russian freinds.
Americans understand
the Russians scowl
and ask too many questions.
Launchpad looms over the dock
steel mammoth
fascinating
ungainly.
I see a water truck with the name "Crist" on the side.
(another message?)
I wonder if it's full of holy water
I deliver and receive
and do my salesman-customer bit
then leave
As I drive back
the refinery prickles with flares and flues
like a steam breathing porcupine-
and I'm still hungry.

Submit a poem for analysis.

Caged Beauty

by

Doug Larson

She comes home
from school
and enters her room
shutting the door
with an ominous click
blinds closed against the sun
against the rain
against the night
against the pain
yellow light above her desk
she studies
reads
works
to prove her worth
to her teachers
to her friends
to her family
to the world
to herself

mostly to herself

Outside the sun rises
and falls
with the rise of the moon
the ebb of the tides
the passing of seasons
the passing of reasons
and she struggles
against fear
to move
to stand
to open the door
to go outside
to live.

I Swim Your Eyes

by

Doug Larson

I lie here
still
and silent
my chocolate eyes wide open
and all I see
your mesmer-eyes
shimmering back at me
I dive deep
into
the pool of them
splashing
intimate ripples within
your warm waters
alive
enveloped in your perception
aroused
by your starlight
cleansed of deception
naked and exposed
for your intimate inspection
I swim
your liquid sunshine
breathe deep
the nectar pool of you
now flowing
hot and wild
through my veins
my arteries
the tangle of my mind
permeating the free flesh of my existence
plunging straight into
the unbound wonder
of my heart

My Hand

by

Doug Larson

I am writing this with my hand
I hope you understand
We were walking in the field
green grass and dandelions
my friend Mikal and I
on our way home from school
The sun was hot on our faces
We were laughing
Mikal pushed me jokingly
and jumped out front
big toothy grin
eyes laughing, all scrunched up
then there was a pop
pressure
like I was pushed hard underwater
then silence and mist
everything rose colored
I was staring
at green grass spotted
with crimson dewdrops
and the echo of a scream
in my head
then I was here.
-
This bed is too big
there is way too much of it
and not enough of me
I keep asking
but they still won’t bring me a mirror
They say I’m lucky
luckier than Mikal
I don’t know
I miss his laughing eyes
and I still dream his face
grinning in the hot sun
then disappearing
in a red cloud
I hope you can read this
I am writing it with my hand
I hope you understand

Figure Work

by

Doug Larson

I love women
the way their hips sway
side to side
when they walk
the smooth skin under the chin
and all over
nape of the neck
and the inside of the thigh
and just below the navel
I love that little vee
that their legs form
where they meet
the way they shake their hair
long short
blonde
brown
black
auburn
red
their eyes
watching
yearning
deep as the ocean
mysterious and taunting
their fingers
graceful and delicate
the sculpted beauty of their hands
their feet
their toes
the way their ankles melt
into their calves
the receptive sweet spot
behind the knee
that little hollow
at the throat
that pulses when the heart beats
the wet fullness of their lips
slightly parted
the flicker of tongue
the softness of voice
whispering
talking
laughing
singing
giggling
sighing
their ears
smooth as carved marble
and the line of the jaw
the gentle slope of their shoulders
the sweet curve of the back
the little dimples
above rounded buttocks
The pillow softness of their breasts
large and pendulous
or small and firm
the way their nipples harden
when touched
aroused
the warm moist comfort of them
tight
secure
slippery delectable
God I love them
I do
I really do
I would like to be a woman
for a day
or a week
and make love to a woman
as a woman
so that I might know them
more completely
to know how to touch them
more thoroughly
more deeply
I love their company
their sensitivity
their free expression of emotion
their nurturing disposition
I love women
I can’t help it
I should have been a sculptor
-
Damn.

Escape Velocity

by

Doug Larson

violent fire
exploding downward
scorched earth
levitation
slow ascent
acceleration
gravity’s pull
multiplied
on my face
glued to my seat
I ride this Pegasus
ever faster
through cloudmist layers
stratosphere
mesosphere
thermosphere
magnetosphere
beyond the tug
of earth mass
hurling oblivion
the stuff of dreams
beyond the nine
or is it eight?
or is it fate?
I beseech thee
come milk the whey
with me
flee reality
and see
Orion’s belt
from God’s eye view
through crystal windows
together
we will bust
Musca the fly
grab Leo by his mane
Taurus by his tail
and drink the Big Dipper
dance the Seven Sisters
with Vela sails
to drive our Carina keel
cast our nets
for Pisces
weigh our catch
on Libra’s scales
Pyxis and Sextans
our navigation
and graceful Cygnus
our imagination
anchor in Virgo
and make sweet love
on a bed of nebulae
as snowball comets of ice
meander by
to eavesdrop
this celestial tryst
a rapturous sigh
so sweet
so high
floating Eridanus infinite river
to live forever
oblivion’s kiss
upon our lips
and passion’s bliss
cloyed eternal
in our breasts.

Flaiku

by

Doug Larson

blue fly rests
waits enlightenment
flyswatter
-
crashes down
flyswatter misses
blue fly flies
-
blue fly lands
flyswatter hunts him
smelling blood
-
blue fly tastes
dust on the window
with his feet
-
delicious
dust shitty window
restaurant
-
swish through air
impact vibration
need Windex

Icicle Dreams

by

Doug Larson

I have
icicle dreams
and the coldest beer
in town
so cold
you can’t hold it
in your hand
There’s patio dining
on Santa Fe
next to the number two
diesel pump
where you can watch
tank farm traffic
buzz on by
while you eat
and watch your beer grow warm
The signs say
a life of purpose
is the purpose of life
with taxable income
and hi-rise senior housing
so, with singular reason
I follow
white bus magic
under a smoke screen sky
with free
magnolia phones
and Studebaker seats
for five
It’s like bobbing
for apples
this placebo quest
a shattered kaleidoscope landscape
broken in jest
Love
is a many
splintered thing
with icicle dreams
and the coldest beer
in town

Escape Velocity

by

Doug Larson

Violent fire
exploding downward
scorched earth
levitation
slow ascent
acceleration
gravity’s pull
multiplied
on my face
glued to my seat
I ride this Pegasus
ever faster
through cloudmist layers
stratosphere
mesosphere
thermosphere
magnetosphere
beyond the tug
of earth mass
hurling oblivion
the stuff of dreams
beyond the nine
or is it eight?
or is it fate?
I beseech thee
come milk the whey
with me
flee reality
and see
Orion’s belt
from God’s eye view
through crystal windows
together
we will bust
Musca the fly
grab Leo by his mane
Taurus by his tail
and drink the Big Dipper
dance the Seven Sisters
with Vela sails
to drive our Carina keel
cast our nets
for Pisces
weigh our catch
on Libra’s scales
Pyxis and Sextans
our navigation
and graceful Cygnus
our imagination
anchor in Virgo
and make sweet love
on a bed of nebulae
as snowball comets of ice
meander by
to eavesdrop
this celestial tryst
a rapturous sigh
so sweet
so high
floating Eridanus infinite river
to live forever
oblivion’s kiss
upon our lips
and passion’s bliss
cloyed eternal
in our breasts.

3 A.M.

by

Doug Larson

Quiet
hum in my head
trickle-drip of rain
tock of clock
inrush of breath
a rustle in the other room
Where are you now?
Where am I?
refrigerator cycles
stomach hurts
feel cold
you’re in my head
you are the hum
my stomach’s growl
the trickle drop
tick tock
my breath
and for a moment
exhilarating
the rustle

Cumbustion

by

Doug Larson

After the burn
like dripping candles
we melt down
together
down
and down
slowly lower
gently lower
kiss of breath
tip of tongue
hot flicker kindling
gentle quiver
a kitten’s purr
spinal shiver
sudden ember
we re-
(ignite)

Disorderly Zoo

by

Doug Larson

My disorderly zoo’s a miraculous place
The lions dressed up in black leather and lace
with paranoid penguins, bipolar bears
and meat eating plants to catch me unawares
Autistic anoas and klepto kiwis
and hives full of people
with rooms full of bees
Maniacal meerkats (I like them the best)
tigers with Tourette’s
my temper to test
Chimp and chime , I squander my time
straining my eyes to see
Perusing all the curious sights
staring back through these bars at me

Sir Edmund's Chin

by

Doug Larson

Jutting forth beneath his mouth,
not to the North, but from the South,
hanging there like kiwi fruit;
fuzzy, wizened malamute*
urges onward in the blinding snow.
(*Sure-footed canine Eskimo)
exploring southerly domains,
uncharted regions, frozen plains.
God could have put it any place;
his chin, the South Pole of his face.

Tuesday Again

by

Doug Larson

7:15 and time to go
rain falling on my head in heavy drips
as I run to the car
It's a gray fades to black kind of day
with chunks of blue-white lapis
and a band of dull turquoise west.
The wipers are quiet this morning
not the usual thup thup
I see umbrellas with legs
and teenagers
hoods up
like the Jawa from Star Wars
A man walks his dog
while shielding his head
The dog is oblivious to the weather
jumps and wags his tail
happy to be outside
The painted sign over Starr Video looks wet
changes my train of thought
The gates drop, red lights flashing
Metrorail cruises by
overhead contacts sparking
unaffected by the rain
I drive past Quality Donut and wonder:
do they have more than one?
Slam bam and down Alameda
trucks trailing mist
as roostertail clouds
leviathans of industry on either side
and I'm right in the middle
dancing
for my piece of the pie.

Signs

by

Doug Larson

Driving home and thinking
about you
while I’m stopped
at the light
by Jack in the Box
and Big O Tires.
-
BIG O TIRES
-
I wonder
has anybody ever been that excited
about tires?
A little jog down PCH
I see a sign with burned out letters
L-I-Q-U
..lick you.
-
I’d like to.
-
I see SUPER 8 MOTEL
LIQU on my mind
and around the traffic circle I go
with Bowie singing
about being afraid
of Americans.
Johnny’s an American.
I’m an American
and I’m singing backup vocals.
-
USE TURN SIGNALS
YIELD
Lakewood boulevard north.
HERTZ (Hurts) on my left
GOOD YEAR on the right
Next year? This Year?
RIGHT LANE MUST TURN RIGHT
..right.
-
I drive straight ahead
never veering
under the runway one way
with planes on the tarmac
the past at my back
Neal and I are looking together
for a heart of gold.
-
AIRPORT LEFT LANE
RIGHT LANE MUST TURN RIGHT!
I drive in the night
BOEING (Boing!)
FLY DC JETS
I’m almost home
All that remains
is a right turn
-
and one more left.

Fourth of July

by

Doug Larson

They dance forever
in my dreams. Santana
playing Latin rhythms
while the rockets of July
bloom jeweled flowers in the sky.

Liquor rich upon my lips
golden warmth spreading
outward to my fingertips
the worries of the world
dissolving in the night.

The musky smell of a Cuban cigar
blends with the sulfur smells
of hot fire fountains
and the sweet, waxy odor
of burning birthday candles.

The children twirl and dip
and spin upon the grass,
prancing and leaping
like wild horses dancing
in a cool summer rain.

They dance forever
in my dreams. Santana
playing Latin rhythms
while the rockets of July
bloom jeweled flowers in the sky.

Dandelion Stars

by

Doug Larson

warm spring
lemon drop
sunshine day
dandelions prance
in yellow starglow
dazzling
green space

beautiful
snow seed children
uninhibited by day
bewitching lustful bees
with open petals
delicate golden
feather lips
magical attraction

shadows long-cast
by sunset fire
gently closing
wane of day
open only to the light
demure
as vestal virgins
to the secret night

Reality Bites

by

Doug Larson

Funny thing, reality.
It can wash over your skin
warm sunshine and rainbows
blissful contentment and wellness
then slap your face
cold steak on the cheek
bloody smears as rouge.
-
Dreams are less fickle.
You close your eyes
fantasize
supersize
your controlled imagination
the only speed limit posted
the superhighway of your enchanted thought.
-
When dreams end
we put them safely away
precious toys
to be played with again
or rewound
replayed
endless mobius loops
sugar-frosted to suit the moment.
-
But therein lies the twist.
The two-edged sword.
Our dreams are not satisfied
and growl with hunger
yearning for a sip
a nibble
a bite of reality.
They light us up
from the inside out
more alive
than we ever were before
and hungrier
than we would ever have been
without them.
-
To live, then
we must eat our dreams
as placebo meals
whetting our appetites
for reality bites;
the authenticity
of this
our daily bread.

Angels

by

Doug Larson

I've been saved
more than a few times in my life.
Angels maybe.
I don't know why
or for what purpose.
They say the good
die young.
What's young?
I'm 44.
Does that make me bad
because I'm still alive?
There was the time
on my bike.
Schwinn 10 speed
duffle bag through the forks.
I should have broken my neck.
I saw stars
and stitches
and my next birthday.
There was the time
on my bike.
Yamaha.
Just yards away
and years later.
The side of a car
and a flight through the air.
I saw my foot
up by my ear
and the gleam of bone
and my next birthday.
Then there was the tree
big mother date palm
and my 67' mustang
the engine almost in my lap
and the steering column
that went out the window
instead of into me.
And a lot of other times.
A lot of angels
some real,
maybe some incorporeal
some maybe
a little bit of both.
Some gave me life
some gave me reason to live
some remind me
that I'm still alive
open my eyes
and make me feel.
Thank God
for angels.

Sweet Encounter

by

Doug Larson

I am
You are
we
are
here
this moment
in time
suspended
in space
floating
drifting
life pulse
heartbeats
simple
synchronicity
so brief
now gone
now alone
an echo
rings
my dreams
a silent
hymn

Stringing Beads

by

Doug Larson

One by one each separate bead,
each plastic pearl strung
like points in time,
carefully on cosmic string;
a star-jeweled necklace
in bright mosaic slowly appears
dangling, from the tiny fingers
of a little boy, who smiles
and laughs with satisfaction,
and looks to his father
with bright eyes and brighter face
and waits, if only for a second,
a smile of approval in return.

Rush Hour on Alameda

by

Doug Larson

Time slows as I round the curve
of the road. The flares glow red
and are the first things I see.

They must be dead.

The truck looms large and unnatural
across the grain of the road,
all around, it's load.

They must have known.

A twisted hulk of a car;
Quasimoto with seats for five,
and in the driver's seat, the engine sits.

No one alive.

A man lays sprawled in the road
with the paramedics milling around
pumping his chest. He is dead

on the ground.

I look briefly as I pass by,
imprinting this macabre scene in my brain.
Now, I have the open road before me

and it starts to rain.

Tea Time

by

Doug Larson

Sit with me a while
please
I will fix us some tea
Earl Grey to match the day
I've cleaned my picture window
the view is unstreaked and clear
we don't even have to talk
if you don't want to
we can just sit and steep
in each other's company
for a while
warm for the moment
and watch the leaves turn red
and the grass grow brown
or we can just look
into each other's eyes
sip our tea
and hold our gazes
our own reflections staring back
fish eye views on glass paperweights
warm and safe inside
away from the fire outside
that burns

Dia Del Sol

by

Doug Larson

I sit in sunwash
eyes closed in red-hued darkness
the chaotic machine drone of the dryer
ringing zippers and buttons against hot spinning metal
with the clamor of birdsong
and cricket chirp rhythm
playing lead against the backdrop drone
of a Saturday in the city

I write what I hear:
the modulated squeal of bone dry hinges
the resonant slam of wood
and the hollow metallic clap of a screen door
as I sit in warm light comfort
the bestial roar of a jet overhead
and the Doppler hum of a small plane
as they blend beautifully
with the muffled singsong of backyard voices
and the distant laughter of playing children

I hear the clamor of plastic trash cans
rolling on hard plastic wheels
the high pitch squeal of disc brakes
and the clacking of gardening tools
A crow caws nearby
and receives an answer in chorus from far away
as the rush of a car drifts by
the street exhaling wind in a mist of sound
fading into the peaceful hum
of this warm spring day

Book pages crackle
close enough to touch
as a hammer strikes wood
beyond my fence
a dog barking its mimicry
in the swish of the breeze
and the rustle of leaves
green bells ringing in quiet branches
rinsed in a cool breath of air
the tight wet squish as I swallow
against the bitter aftertaste of milk chocolate
at the back of my throat
now cleansed in cool relief
with clear spring water

Sun paints the inside of my eyes
changing patterns in banded hues
red-black cracking mudflat hexagons
on olive green lakebeds of swirling algae
flip-flopping negative images
now green on red
inside my head
orange clouds flash white-yellow lightening bolts
and blood-red fireballs
on brown-black seas
as I open my eyes
to a day of hope

a day of sun

Requiem Wind

by

Doug Larson

Howling wind tears winter leaves
from the failing clutches of sleeping trees
scattered like toys on the breeze
in a child’s angry tantrum
-
Breath of storm makes sparrows flee
as evening fast approaches me
the eye of the sun paints blustery scenes
upon these monotonous doldrums
-
And in the west an orb of gold
a halo wrought from tales of old
that I would wear if I were so bold
into the nearing maelstrom
-
Bright gold dust mists so silhouetted
an empire’s glory now unfettered
taunts our appetites now whetted
a victory will be hard won
-
We draw our swords and face our foe
to rage against the blinding snow
and lightning strikes wherever we go
as we ride into the hailstorm
-
The wind plays a requiem soft and sad
that pines for a beauty that once sang glad
yet the reaper has stolen all we had
and left us for the raven
-
Howling wind tears winter leaves
from the failing clutches of sleeping trees
scattered like toys on the breeze
in a child’s angry tantrum

Don't Cry (a love song)

by

Doug Larson

when I saw you
standing there
sunlight shining
in your auburn hair
the moon was running
from your eyes
it seemed to me
you were wearing
a disguise
-
why are you crying?
was it something I said?
if I did anything to hurt you
girl
I must have been out of my head
-
as I watch you
laying there
starlight sparkling
in your sunlight hair
anticipation
in your eyes
tender pleasure
in your gentle sighs
-
why are you crying?
warm tears flow free
why are you crying
girl?
are you crying for me?
-
as I hold you
in my arms
my body tasting
all your golden charms
I feel questions
in your eyes
and I shiver
at our unspoken lies
-
I can taste you crying
salt tears on my tongue
why are you crying
girl?
our time’s just begun

Nut Meat

by

Doug Larson

The Walnut-Mart parking lot
sunshiney day
skye of bloo summerspring
illuminae
loud krack of thunder
a rent in the bloo
you lookit me
and I lookit you
-
Then Chicken Little
starts spouting around
with a scrap o’ the skye
she retrieved on the ground
as we stairclimb gaping
C.L. is thumped flat
by a clump of the heavens
bloo skye baseball bat
-
It’s reigning in nuggets
across the ass fault
as we run for our
racearound haulitabout
opine the hatch
(aunt Klymon inside)
onset up this wagon
contrive for a ride
-
A crack now elongates
horizon across
splitting wide open
as we gawk nonplussed
and I think I see
a vast eye and a mouth
opened wide with big sharkteeth
now sharp pointed south
-
The ground is fliptipping
and things start to fall
odd angle trajectories
torque me appalled
I’m driving my haulitabout
up a hill
that a moment ago
had an incline of nil
-
Now this racearound haulitabout
just won’t go
and starts to slip backwards
aunt Klymon yells "No!"
people are falling
now down to the skye
gravity’s backwards
I want to know, why?
-
Everything’s falling
towards the grand maw
with it’s great winking eye
and it’s black snapping jaw
and a thought passes through me
a flash blinds my eyes
it’s my life passing swiftly
is this my demise?
-
And as we were falling
into the great gullet
(I’m kidding you not
keep your leg
I won’t pull it)
I suddenly realized
what was transpiring
it was holding that thought
that kept me from perspiring
-
The skye’s just a shell
circling us (like a turtle)
holding us tight and safe
like an old woman’s girdle
and this thing outside
that is eating our space
is in fact nothing more
than a Whatchamaface!
-
Now if I remember
Whatchamaface lore
if it’s happening now
then it’s happened before
and if he’s eating you
through a tear that he tore
then some stupid gnumbskull
left open the door!
-
If a door can be opened
then it can be closed
but where is the door?
Just the opener knows
Whoever left open the door
surely knows it
and we’d better find him
and force him to close it
-
Before I could finish
my reasoning thoughts
a flash blinded me
and I saw colored spots
and then a great tongue
snaked out from a great crater
encircled my auntie Klymon
and he ate her!
-
Then something happened
I hadn’t expected
the sky did a flip flop
and we genuflected
floating down gently
on our bended knees
like a farthingbird feather
in light summer’s breeze
-
It set us down gently
upon a green pasture
as cows floated down
with a farmer’s red tractor
and chunks of the skye
flew up high back in place
as a mile-wide smile
now grew on my face
-
Like sudden dawn light
a thought entered my head
as I deep-fathomed now
why we were not all dead
and I instantly got
what I hadn’t before
it was my auntie Klymon
that opined the door.

Firewater

by

Doug Larson

like fire
I burn
like smoke
I rise
like flames
I lick
light kiss
your eyes
like water
I quench
your thirst
then steam
kindle me
cup me
blow and dream
like smoke
I rise
like fire
I flash
and burn
and burn
and burn
to ash

Threads

by

Doug Larson

thinly
the thread I spin entwines
the fraying spider silk
that floats from your gossamer gown
and flies
gypsy moths soaring above the wide sea
upon intricate thermals
conduit chimney siphons
for our soul-scraped friction-heat
exhaling unburned fuel
love’s unconsummated consommé
languidly
patiently
approaching the lower explosive limit
where the smallest spark
or hungry ember
can flash over
ignite the lust saturated atmosphere
carnal combustion
the embodiment of captive passions
effulgence released as borealis’ desire explodes
a light show displayed
upon star dabbled velvet
a magician’s cape
dazzling heaven
sweetly whispering
(I love you)

Delicate Economies

by

Doug Larson

Truth.
-
We are ruled by delicate economies
companies, countries, households
precarious seesaw balances of revenue and expense
and time
-
mostly time
-
slaves to the fickle economies of season
that challenge both rhyme and reason
forced to spend both time and money
all of the time
which is
in fact
-
time
-
mostly time
-
lives.
-
yours, mine, everybody’s
spent ultimately to the penny
no personal or federal reserves to draw upon
exchanged
as legal tender for memories both sweet
and sour
time spent for food
lives exchanged for curly fries
sweet and sour
and power
-
No pork-barrel entitlements here
just precarious seesaw balances of revenue and expense
spending sprees of money
and time
-
mostly time
-
lives, really
-
Truth.
-
I believe that a revolution is in order.
Prepare your budgets.
Time
for
war.

I Don't Know Why

by

Doug Larson

Red moon lights
these crimson nights
shines infrared
upon my bed
blots the stars
from smeared night sky
I don’t know why
-
falling clouds
enfold the ground
fog my head
whet my dread
without a sound
like molten lead
heavy sigh
I don’t know why
-
Mist river steam
sets me to dream
a raft of stones
to lay my bones
rattle and shiver
I float down river
a raven’s cry
I don’t know why
-
A hound dog howls
the song of owls
upon my ears
assays my fears
In stupor steep
now nightmare deep
without a peep
I don’t know why
-
I wake in dark
to black dogs bark
my shuddered spine
like knotted twine
eyes dart quick
I feel sick
in dim I cry
I don’t know why
-
despair unreal
I cop a feel
alone in shock
the ticking clock
counts fleeting hours
and drains my powers
wet sucks me dry
I don’t know why
-
and in the black
I fall off track
this ivory tower
sinks ever lower
day by day
and hour by hour
soon time to die
-
and I fear
-
-
I won’t know why

Merry Go Round

by

Doug Larson

In glint wash light
moonshine shining
carousel spinning
around she rides
ecstatic gallop
bareback slide
bare feet tickling
bare legs squeezing
bare breasts heaving
toes curled tight
cantilevering
cedes the wind
round and round
and up and down
her graceful hands
encircling firm
a beam of gold
her head thrown back
bliss sculpts her face
concentric spin
slides up and down
astride the moon
alive she rides
her joy compiled
a star jewel spangled
hungry wild
palomino
pony child

Cold Swim

by

Doug Larson

together we swim
an ice covered lake
frozen ceiling above
laminated decay below
holding our breath
for as long as we can
sucking at life
until our energy to live
withers
we exhale
release our grip
in slow rising bubbles
breathing deep death’s waters
to float
or sink
Heaven
or Hell
and if we rise
do we watch God skate
through hard waterglass
figure eights
above our frozen eyes?

Imagine

by

Doug Larson

imagine
pure light
so bright
the pain
imagine
pure dark
opaque
the rain
imagine
my eyes
so deep
the stare
imagine
my touch
so soft
your hair
imagine
my body
pressed close
to you
imagine
my love
pour
into you
then close
your eyes
and dream
of me
as I
am dreaming
now
of thee

Grasshopper Pie

by

Doug Larson

cricket is the game
we play
when we’re on
romaleidae
-
yet when it’s war
we deign to play
coerced to stoop
acrididae
-
humble dumb
I’m held in awe
a humble
ornithoptera

Sunrise on the Moon in Faeryland

by

Doug Larson

out of black
slits crescent fire
a dragon’s eye
shadow fire paint
illuminating my desire
in streaks of black and white
crater pocked surface
the face of the moon
in sunrise hues
and the temperature’s rising baby
rising with the sun
the blue-white marble of the earth
opalescent jewel
tranquil upon your breast
flashing unrivaled color
within the velvet black of space
the serenity of your glittered face
sparkling the heavens
in wonder
and I wonder
as comets of fire and ice
streak your celestial tresses
what I could possibly do
as a simple moon
to hold the blazing light
of your starry gaze
to taste the breath
of your solar breeze
to feel your heaven’s kiss
as bliss
upon my dusty cheek
now turned to cool
in orbit slow ellipse
the gaping crater’s maw exposed
from whence fell
the meteor my beating heart
concealed at impact
stilled by ancient layers
of silent lunar dust
waiting patient
the warm and lustful bite
your shovel’s hungry blade
-
come
dig me baby
dig my sugar candy heart
read the sugar sweet intaglio
taste my sweetness on your lips
then chew until I’m gone
my memory a bright red stain
emblazoned on your tongue
and
as the stain slowly fades
the sweetness spreads and flourishes
in the tropical wetness of your mouth
a powdered sugar Tahitian beach
drenched with liquid syrup love
beckons you impatiently
to frolic naked
the warm and sensual waters
of the living atoll
to dance among rock candy corals
seahorsing around the anemones
in timeless ecstasy
with me.

Night Music

by

Doug Larson

I sense
your pouting lips
as they caress the oiled teak
outside my bedroom door
I beseech thee
speak
speak what you will not say
your undiscovered explications
that I would feel
with my cheek close pressed
abreast the grain
your vibrating turmoil
resonating the living wood
-
Oh, my sweet
dulcimer lover
whom I crave like no other
allow my hands
to gently finger your desire
pluck your silky strings
taste the tender holes of your voice
tongue wetly seeking
sweet sound
your passion’s sonnets
to douse my sheets
and verse me with poetic skill
orchestrate my turgid yearning
rhythmic timbre warmly building
expanding delicate chords
articulating my insatiable lust
our crescendo en forte
white hot explosion of sound
abruptly diminished capacity
susurration in whimpered breath
a sigh note to hold
and slowly die
an echo ringing
puissance of oiled wood
tomorrow’s magnum opus
planted in pleasure
as silent seeds
tonight

Long Beach Grand Prix

by

Doug Larson

hornets whine angry
the asphalt sky
punish our ears sweetly
and we endure
enthralled
hearts beating RPM’s
red-lined shifting down
hard-braking into turn one
spitting like screaming bullets
around the fountain
the sun shining coolly
as we smell the methanol
and the sea
a swirling vortex mixture for lustful noses
sniffing hungry for danger
safe in high seats
we almost forget the six dollar beers
three dollar Cokes
and ten dollar sandwiches
reveling in the squeal of rubber
the compressed popping of exhaust
and the smoke of tires burning
as they ignite the morning
and flame well into
the afternoon

1969 Part I

by

Doug Larson

Mr. Ball
He was my 6th grade science teacher.
He was cool cuz' we got to touch
human brains and stuff.
I remember we were a little nuts
just getting our first dribbles of testosterone.
My best friend was elected class president
promising Coke in the drinking fountains
and a swimming pool in the middle of the soccer field.
He won.
He also never met a single campaign promise.
Sometimes we would take field trips down to Rat Beach
looking for scientific shit.
Found a dead sea lion once.
Stunk like shit.
I found other stuff too.
I remember calling my mom from school one day.
-
ME: "Mom? Can you pick me up at school?"
MOM: "What's the matter? Did you miss the bus?"
ME: "Kinda."
MOM: "What do you mean, 'kinda'?"
ME: "The stupid bus driver lady wouldn't let me on the bus."
MOM: "Why not???"
ME: "I kinda have this spear gun thing."
MOM: "WHAT?"
ME: "I found a spear gun and she wouldn't let me take it on the bus."
MOM: "WHAT ARE YOU THINKING? WHERE DID YOU GET A SPEAR GUN?"
ME: " I found it on our field trip. It was buried in the sand but it works and it's real cool!"
-
Well. She picked me up.
She even let me keep the spear gun.
Mom was cool.
She still is.

1969 Part II

by

Doug Larson

I don’t remember her name.
Fact is, I don’t think I ever knew it.
We gave her Hell.
She didn’t deserve it, of course
she just got caught between our dribbling hormones
and boredom.
Our bus driver.
I mean, she wouldn’t let me on the bus that day
but who would?
Me, with a working spear gun in my hand
hormones dribbling everywhere
and common sense in short supply.
I didn’t hold that against her.
We were just boys
and boys will be boys.
That morning we left a good half hour early
on our bikes.
We wanted a good head start on the bus that would be coming our way.
We needed time to prepare our trap.
Oh yeah.
We rode down the hill and turned north on P.V. Drive
hung a left past the golf course with its rolling greens
and country club estates.
Kirk waited back by the stop sign.
The last checkpoint before the road dips
and winds the last mile or so
to the sea.
The rest of us rode on ahead, and pulled off the road
just ahead of the hairpin turn.
We stashed our bikes in the trees, and climbed up the hill
the road snaking past just below us.
The plan was that Kirk would ride out ahead of the bus
slowing it just before it reached our perfect ambush
where the eggs we had been carefully transporting all morning
would be accurately exported from our anxious fingers.
We were so pumped up with adrenaline
hiding there in the trees like the G.I.’s in Vietnam
we could hardly stand it.
When we spotted Kirk coasting slowly down the road
and that big yellow bus-
God! The windows were even open! -
it was like an epiphany.
My heart was pounding like a hammer as it cruised by
and with an assembled yell like an Apache war cry
we let fly.
-
I guess you could say there would be Hell to pay.
We probably knew it at the time
but our collective fear was lost in the thrill of the moment.
We were just boys
and boys will be boys, after all.

1969 Part III

by

Doug Larson

After the adrenaline rush
there is an almost melancholic calm;
a free open space that for me, allowed fear
to seep in.
Slowly.
Torturously.
When I was called to the principal’s office
in the middle of class
it was almost a relief.
Almost.
One by one we fell
like toppling dominoes
each of us making the dreaded trip.
If we thought we had tight lips
we underestimated the can-opener savvy
of the C.E.O.
He broke us wide open one at a time
alone in that stark wooden chair
across the expanse of his modest desk
forcing us to face
his disapproving stare.
Mothers and Fathers were called
and markers were called in.
The funny thing is that I can remember the crime so well
but I just can’t remember the punishment.
I know it existed.
I remember not being able to ride the bus for a while.
Banned and branded, not as outcasts
as it turned out
but as rebels.
We were all James Deans
Hell on two wheels.
Hell to pay?
That came later.
Much later.
We were the Lost Boys of Rolling Hills
and we were just getting started..

Starlight and Moonrocks

by

Doug Larson

Once
the moon was new
and the stars ruled
the night
the moon
slivered slyly
and the sky
was alive
Then the greedy moon
slivered full
round
plump with light
and stole
the night
and the glittering stars
disappeared
from view
and the moon withered
and quivered
and slivered shut
new again
In time
the clouds will clear
and the stars
will shine
and the moon will sliver
once more
slyly
After all
It’s just a phase
it’s going through
and it’s always the starlit sky
that the sailor trusts
to guide him
home

Junk Food and Frogs in Middle America

by

Doug Larson

"Now that’s a spud!"
he sparkled
holding the mammoth tuber tight fisted
eyes to his palms
His own eyes gleaming bright as beacons
in the night
"Not like those pathetic kiwi sized taters on sale at Slater’s"
He practically drooled the words excited
for his appetite for fries soon to be
requited
"Now that’s a spud I do agree"
said Ma
with Pa holding out
words in reserve that he always contends he must
carefully conserve
"but," she lied," the fryer is broke"
"and if you eat those spuds raw, well you’re liable"
"to choke."
Well his face just fell and his smile hung limp
spirit broke
his shoulders slumped and shrugged as he turned to walk away
head hung
fists tight
eyes tearing in his palms like moonlit pearls
farsighted
his appetite for French fries
still unrequited

Opalescence

by

Doug Larson

It signaled me
as if it were alive
an SOS from across the lawn
beaming from a case of glass
I had never seen such a stone
burning within as fire and ice
deep blue sky and forest green
citrus beams of juicy light displayed
on velvet black
a metamorphosis of heaven and earth
imploded in solid rock
violence of volcanic birth and dying nebulae
contained
imprisoned in glass
a mirror of dreams reflecting magic
as colored silent sound
the mystical music of geology
on sale for a slender finger
a graceful neck
a secret drawer
temptation was hard to resist
but its light was too strong
visual flavors too overpowering
(price too high)
for mere mortals
such as I

I let it lie
yet
it calls me still
from time to time
and appears again here
as wistful rhyme

A Single Oak Becomes a Joke

by

Doug Larson

a single oak
on an amber hill waits
with urgent leaves
the soft caress
of an ocean breeze

festooned as gallivant
the rooster struts unerring steps
pigeon-toed and trips
but not a word escapes
his lips

roosters have no lips
for beaks adorn their mouths
and green grass is grazed
on sunny days
by carnivorous cows

cows don’t eat meat
they ruminate
grass and hay they eat all day
while farmers plough
and dogs meow

dogs don’t meow
they growl and bark
chasing pigeons in the park
pooping the whole playground up
then their owners scoop it up

dog owners don’t scoop it up
they leave it there
they like to share
so children play and step in it
and parents have to clean the shit

parents DO clean shit

(end of poem)

Somewhere Alone on the Forest Floor

by

Doug Larson

at rest in loam
and quiet earthen smells
I glimpsed a thought
fresh as dewdrop memory
carefully bend a leaf to the ground
raised veins magnified
large in the morning sun
a microscopic vision of a miracle in humble green
contorted under clear water weight
a prism rainbow of refracted enlightenment flashed
in brilliant tutti frutti flavors
and for one singular moment frozen
a snowcone of relativity
time stopped
and all that was left
was God

Involution

by

Doug Larson

Cowered eyes
reveal your trembled thoughts
and your fingers
dancing on your cigarette
contradict your smile
You present yourself as human
yet you are only half-man
consumed by devolution
a Devonian sea scorpion
with opposable thumbs

Go ahead
drink your cocktail
smoke your cigarette
grind the coal deadly
and light another
She’s not buying what you are selling
You won’t feed on her tonight
for she doesn’t swim the sea floor
anymore
Your insouciance is belied as a feral flicker
in your hunting eyes
as you turn and leave
There are always other fish in the sea
on which to feed
Your kind never starves from lack of fodder
but you will go to bed tonight
without your supper

Shhh.
Don’t be troubled
You still have that ancient revolving hunger
to keep you warm

Bullshit Bongos and Blasphemy

by

Doug Larson

The poet’s craft is whimsy
as philosophy it’s flimsy
theology oncology
he slyly crafts his blasphemy
to tempt your mind to alchemy
turn your lead to silver
or your silver into gold
or your golden path to rocks and dirt
expose your past to truth and hurt
or keep your young
from growing old
prevent your bread
from growing mold
to lure you in cerebral folds
trails that are unexplored
and suddenly you’re enamoured
with things you haven’t seen before
your eyes were pointed at the floor
and now they’re focused on the sky
where northern lights your soul descry
you find yourself now asking why
you never saw its light before
and wondering why you see it now
and then you hear
the bongo beat
a steady drum
to tap your feet
so sudden your creative thought
you write before you think a lot
and maybe it just stinks a lot
you hesitate or maybe not
but now it doesn’t matter if you show it or you blow it
you’ve had a metamorphosis and now you are
a poet

Untouchable (a poem about India's caste system)

by

Doug Larson

it is my place
and it is caste in stone
engraved deeply upon
the grave marker that is my face
my purgatory
for imaginary sins committed
in past lives unrecalled
but not insignificant

I touch the untouchable
wallow the impure
handle their detritus as penance

endure

my dreams are dead
I kill them daily - but
they resurrect themselves always
rising from the ashes of my fate
as hate

I am impure
I touch the untouchable
and I am what I am
yet I feel a purity within
burning hot and clean
sterilizing the corruptness of my condemned flesh
and it threatens to burn clear through
and flash over as raw fire
to free my immortal soul

It is my ultra-clean
my savior
and it will be my salvation
my epiphany
and it makes me smile

my

Hate

Emergence

by

Doug Larson

in crawlspace breath
the dim light
between shadow and dust
I toil endlessly
in claustrophobic confinement
between a low ceiling
and the rising earth

I strain for comfort
analyzing my company
massive arthropods snuggling dirt
molting legs
walled fortresses lobsteresque
carapace abutments
and exoskeletonic armor
rattling isolation

I squeeze tighter and grovel the ground
aware of my squishy nakedness
shivering amongst these monstrous horseshoe crabs
praying for the light of day to peak
needling through the vents
to poke my eyes
squint my vision
crack my fear so I might crawl
prostrate from my hole
into the sun
to crackle in the desiccating heat
dissolve sanguine into light
and fly with the dust motes
like a bird

Perversion

by

Doug Larson

The man
wept as he watched
(reporters don’t pull any punches)
Prime time news highlights
so good for ratings
a young man murdered
for being gay
propped up like a doll
macabre display
an open window to a house
of fear
icon of loss
and tears

The door
opened to reveal
a sympathetic face
concern in blue eyes
drinking in the crying face
imploring the comfort
of an embrace

abominable succor

Imagine!
A man held lovingly
in the arms of another!

Soft Clouds in Quiet Puddles

by

Doug Larson

I came here to think
above these silent puddles
my senses saturating in the breeze
cool humid birdsong wind
both familiar and yet so strange
and the clatter of the city is lost
in the languid dream of the moment
as I recall my history here
and rescind all of my past projections
as folly

It proves nothing and yet
it is comforting to sit
eating this box lunch
listening for answers that never come
I sit and think
while my questions fade
dissolving like salt on my tongue
and all I’m left with are raw answers
to questions
that perhaps I’ve never thought to ask

A duck traces a watery contrail
slithered shadows on a man-made lake
as the kiss of a breeze flutters
in veiled crests
from one shore to the other

Overhead the sky hides with the sun
far above the grayness of the day
and I drink it all in
quenching my thirst alone
among these silent reflections
rippled mirrors in brackish water
unmoved
clouds dancing softly
in quiet puddles

Oysters, Clams, and Musckles

by

Doug Larson

You knows me Bluto
I yam what I yam
and I won’t stand for ye
messink wit me Olive Oyl
ye can flex ye muskles
but I has me a heart of spinach
an’ the sweet skinny love
of a spindly-legged woman
I even loves her little SweePee
thoughs I has’s me a feelink
he may be urine
and I won’t have ye
messink wit her sweet vee
Bluto.
I yam what I yam
an’ eyes a jealusk sailor man
me forearms are yardarms
an’ eyes’l broadside ye backside
an’ rips ye limbs from limbs
and smokes ye in me corn cob
‘till I pasks out asphyxmicated.
Tooot Tooot!

Together, Behind My Eyes

by

Doug Larson

I close my eyes to the afternoon
bright
basking in the intense fire of the sun
my flesh bombarded by cosmic radiation
penetrating heat
and I see blue sky strangely
projected beneath my eyelids
as if it were a window to -
- where?
If there were only another world behind my eyes!
I might live one life with eyes open
another with my eyes closed
and both with my heart wide open
the joy of my tangible reality
and the compelling wonder of my fantasies together
a symbiotic biosphere for the body
and the mind

Yes.

There is another world behind my eyes
a connectivity
and a strange blue sky
an otherworldly blue
interlaced with fingers of light
like the tails of comets blazing
arced ribbons of silver
on a star dappled canvas
of dreams

The Lost Boys and the Sirens Song

by

Doug Larson

What brought us to the edge of those dark cliffs
was no mystery
it wasn’t the damp black cold of the wind breathing in
from the sea
it wasn’t the call of the full moon
nor was it the beckoning whisper of the waves
it was simply good dope and too much beer
and the sultry seduction of an amphetamine midnight
whispered invitations flooding our veins
like promises of sex

Giddy, we laughed like leprechauns
as we descended the cliff
sleeping bags in hand
loosened rocks skittering down in rivulets of dirt
suspended seconds of silence,
then clattering as sedimentary hail
upon the boulder strewn shoreline
Even the full moon was laughing
not at us
but in concert with the stars
in a lighthearted chorus of approval
for our foolish bravado
we were the midnight captains of a mystery ship
pirates of penchants
with a proclivity for adventure
and a stoic if somewhat stupid compulsion for calamity
I don’t know how we made it down intact
all members of the tribe present and accounted for

but we did
and we didn’t even notice or acknowledge our luck

The tide was out as we clambered over slippery rocks
salt water squishing in our shoes
and the smell of the sea saturating our lungs
as we marched to this small plot of dirt and weeds
that would make our beds that night
and we joked and we laughed and we smoked
staring through liquid blue-black haze at the moon
until the giggling stars winked from view
hidden behind those ponderous draperies that were
the lids of our eyes

Morning did come
and the magic, and the adrenaline, were gone

All that was left was the pounding of our heads
the growling of our bellies
and an urgent need to piss
along with a predictable lack
of fresh water

No lack of salt water, though
for like it or not
the tide had come in as we slept
and we were stranded like castaways
flotsam from a shipwreck
a haggard and niggling crew
left to squabble over our remaining cigarettes
until the moon favored us once more
with a low tide

and an exit

The Perfect Opacity of Perception

by

Doug Larson


After years of learning I have come to the conclusion
that I don’t know a damn thing.
Everything I have so methodically absorbed
has been excreted.
There are concretions in my mind that have eroded.
Beliefs and ideas that have systematically imploded
with each new breath I exhale I release
all that I have held as truth
as gas

and this too shall pass

for it is nothing more than a hiccup, really
an involuntary spasm of the diaphragm
and it doesn’t define me at all
or who I am.

I am a work in progress
a transmogrification of principles and perceptions
with chips and pieces falling to dust
revealing changing patterns in stubborn marble
new masques for old ideas
fresh twists in old rope
new upholstery over old wood

The image in the mirror is looking older
the eyes might look a little deeper
and are perhaps a little more revealing
but still I wear nothing more than a warm suit of flesh
dressed up and decked out for the reality of the world
spit polished and shined for the ball
having gained so much and come so far
yet still knowing nothing at all.

Absolute Grace

by

Doug Larson

an aria rises
like the silhouette of a beautiful woman
emerging from a mist laden wood
painting the air in soft pastel hues
and a transitory image with vague borders appears

it is the harmony of grace
absolute in its purity
and the immense weight of my leaden heart
floats like a cloud
in the delicate fingers of her voice
held sensuously in the warmth of her melody
consumed by the sensitive strength of her passion

it is my longing that rises now
in response to these sweet musical caresses
nibbling at the lobes of my ears
as whispers of sexual desire
and my lust for release is raised above the night
to be exhaled in a warm and urgent finale
upon the soft buttery complexion
of the last stanza’s breath

in the silent coolness that smoothly ensues
like silk sheets by an open window
I can feel her breathing in the afterglow
inhaling deeply the cool breeze that flutters her hair
and an aria rises again
fresh and sweet
dewdrops issuing from heavenly lips
to envelope me warm and liquid tight
securely held within the moist and tender folds
of absolute grace

Fear and Plastic

by

Doug Larson

you breathe
plastic rainbows
and artificial hearts that pump
machine oil blood
like mud
crackled hexagons reaching for the horizon
baking in the raw heat
of exothermic bliss
the sterile catalyst
of a Lexan kiss
a slippery polymer blowjob
and the empty compression of a feather pillow bright
in greasy morning light
emptiness in Tupperware
tightly sealed
emotional Teflon
and you know it fucking hurts
but even the bandaids are plastic
and can only breathe
through tiny holes

Visual Basic

by

Doug Larson

Open your eyes and write what you see

then forget what you see and write what you feel

Sometimes
I'm blind with eyes
wide open.
Sometimes
the racket of the machine renders my ears useless and
I'm deaf and dumb drowning
in a black sea
of white noise

then I write what I feel and it's harsh
but it's real
and you can't take it personally because
it's way too personal for that
and if it makes you feel bad then
maybe that's good.
Sometimes
art is supposed to do that

So hit me.
Make it hurt.
The pain is real and reminds me to feel
then maybe I can see again

and we're back to visual basic
where I can close my eyes
write what I feel

and make it real

Remote Lack of Control

by

Doug Larson

I know, I know, but listen
I suffer from
a remote lack of control
and a steaming stack of uncanned ideas
There’s this burning hair smell
(teeth being drilled)
blood spilled
are we there yet?
Are we here?
So whaddya want anyway?
eggs in your beer?
What the Hell does that mean by the way?
It makes no sense to me
two cents?
A penny for your thoughts?
Seems awful cheap for the contents
of a human mind
which at this present time
in this body of rhyme
is doing double time
in a high speed blender
Orange Julius my gray matter
into foamy batter
and the batter’s up
a swing and a miss
a ball low
and outside
a fast one in the fat spot
hard hit in the sand lot
and outta the park in a megasonic blast that rattles windows
from here to Ohio
oh me oh my oh_. see
how the track is separated up ahead?
Watch how______the train_______jumps..

.wait a minute..
.see Everquest..
.Online Adventures Beta 3 Monk report
and Hamlet
and Debussy
Prelude to the Afternoon of a Faun
and a Midsummer Night’s Dream

where’s oephim? I can’t find the big O!
is it in the Big Sky?
I don’t know

we all know the rest of this sonnet
and how it goes

doggonit!

sorry

it’s only my lack of remote control

destroyed by poetry

by

Doug Larson

the world was shouting at me today
even the starfish leaves
standing and yelling in a sea of trees
tinted every shade of green
that there has ever been
the seagulls pandering me for attention
every blade of grass screaming
paper bags and obscene trash complaining
their protesting voices carried to my ears
on a querulous summer’s breeze

and everything was poetry

an entire world clamoring for me to hear the stories
an entire world imprisoned within
the stainless steel gleam of a tanker truck
trapped inside undulating reflections of light
entwined in the hungry grinding cogs
of the machine
and I found myself drowning in beauty
and pain
realizing with sudden intense despair
that there is loss in the universe

oh yes

too many stories to tell
tales and insight dying in the freefall of a dead leaf
crumbling into nothing in the screaming grass
voices drowning in the pulchritude
gargling into loam and worms
and pain

pain is beauty and beauty is a terrible anchor to bear
dragging me beneath the whitecaps in a sea of poetry
for I realized today
that everything is poetry
and there are too many stories to tell
so many that will never be known
too many that will die alone

I was destroyed by poetry today
poetry that will never be written
poetry that will echo as unspoken howls of pain
inside my brain
until I gargle in unrenowned silence
disappearing with my unexplored stories
into the quiet company
of loam and worms

water and bone

by

Doug Larson

there are
primary colors
clear tints and tones
and blends that can’t be heard by ears
frequencies felt only
in the bones of our fears
dull aches padded
softened by age
and visions blinded white
by dissent
and rage

there are things that
just can’t be expressed with words
screamed in crystal clarity
by the eyes
that sail from our souls
in silent fidelity
or hasten from a touch
as revelation

clarity.

we write what we see
and hear
and feel
and it’s all so very real
yet transient and ephemeral

temporary

as water and bone

Tres Leches

by

Doug Larson

pin-tongued women
schlupp mad café blackly
among arm-inked octa-men
as latte steams from milky mugs
films whitely wet
on frothing lips
and slowly
drips
sensuous
creamy runnels
warm as jazz and melted butter
smooth as a fretless bass
down
a pretty face

such a pretty face

and all over the place

my espresso expression is jettisoned
steamed milk cappuccino grins
and opens up
lets me in
drags me by the hair
of my chin
drowning me in original sin

I schlupp madly
in ecstatic brew
jazz moans like melted butter notes
upon my lips
thrust of hips
then slow
sweet
drips

coffee sighs in quiet corners
the caffeine will keep me up
a little longer
I spy an almond scone
and begin to drool

Agua fluye abajo

by

Doug Larson

A village floats on fluffy clouds
downstream of Sao Paulo
the artery of Tiete
pumps quietly beneath the skin
amorphous and sulphydric angels
play above the billows
Pirapora do Bom Jesus
slowly dies within

These Days

by

Doug Larson

What was once the hundred acre wood
has now been subdivided
there’s a shopping mall and Cineplex
and condominiums for single professionals
"Rabbit, shove your carrot where the sun don’t shine!"
"Piglet, you’re no friend of mine!"
"You bugger off", said Pooh slamming the door
in the face of Christopher Robin.
Turns out the honey pot
was a money pot
Time Warner made a tender offer
and Pooh now eats his fancy schmancy meals
at Italian bistros
and drinks double espressos
while nibbling honey-dipped biscotti
laughing with his thin stylish friends
hiding behind his Bolle’ shades
hoping nobody discovers
what he’s really stuffed with
these days

Wild Places

by

Doug Larson

there are places
where the sun never sets
and jeweled stars never fade from the sky
where sheer cliffs of blue ice
explode into the sea
echoing like cannon
across dark craggy inlets of basalt

places
where sucking glacial silt waits
patiently in narrow fjords
to grasp the unwary like a hungry lover
where quick and frigid waters
quietly conducted by apathetic tides
may drown them silently in cold seas brimmed
with mourning whalesong
and lament

here
frozen teeth rise from the jaws of the earth
enameled white with snow and ice
to swallow the midnight sun
exhaling their boreal breath
into the waiting arms
of heaven’s lust
where wolves haunt the twilight
their chorus caressing the breeze
lonely cries as lullabies
shivering between silver leaves
of moonlit spruce and willow
where arctic winds wield
sharp needles of ice
sewing the seasons together
with threads of living sinew

the bones of the earth are here
held together with flowing tendons of ice
and I shrink upon the tundra
standing upon the vast muscle of the living earth
staring upon the infinite expanse of a twilit sky
and I have no questions
only awe
and a keening hunger that gnaws inside
raw and wild

like freedom

Cracker Jack Junkie

by

Doug Larson

this kid was sitting on the cement by the public pool
sugar smeared face stained brown with dirt
his suntanned knees scraped white
methodically snapping Cracker Jacks out of dried Coke
and eating them
one by one with relish
and a chlorine bleach bouquet
and he was savoring them like delicacies
as if each one delivered an opiate rush of pleasure
that was too compelling to ignore

He couldn’t have been that hungry
This was Rolling Hills and everyone had money
certainly enough to afford Cracker Jacks fresh
from the box
but kids are all urchins and beggars by nature
they know nothing of decorum and pride
or sanitary practice

I suppose it was enough that he seemed happy
and completely unashamed sitting there
innocently eating as if in a dream
until his serenity was brutally shattered by a mother’s shriek
and he was pulled by one arm from the ground
with a look of frightened shock upon his face
his harmony unceremoniously discharged
by a mother unmoved by his cries
or the tears in his eyes

The Cracker Jacks didn’t last
they had disappeared by the following day
I had always assumed they had been rinsed away
but perhaps they were plucked by midnight nymphs
intent on the pleasure of forbidden treats
unmoved by such simple human deterrents
as decorum and pride

Fjorded

by

Doug Larson

ice blue and sugar white
in arctic glow
the moon and the sun share twilight skies
airbrushed painted pale blue
shiny black and wet now rises
dark volcanoes from the sea
spouting steam like ash in geysers
disappearing into gray and green
and furry brown floats backward
tuskless mini walrus weasels eating
looking unperturbed in rippled waves
then vanishing
black and white torpedoes chase
our racing vessel over swells
and burst like missiles from the water
diving deep beneath the spray
where thunder cracks the vesper air
hard wall of blue falls heedlessly
reveals a ragged patch of black
for a frigid stream in torrents fall
while on the deck the icy wind
demands of me to drink it all

six minutes of audio

by

Doug Larson

"Quincy, do you remember when you stood over me?
You were so hungry
You should have eaten me, but you didn't
Thanks for not eating me, Quincy"

Timothy Treadwell


six minutes or six hours
it doesn’t matter, really
a lifetime in compact audio
raw and wild child now
hold your ears remember?
it gets a little disturbing here
raw and wild under an arctic sun that disappears
to moonlight on the tundra
but remember
hush now
there really are monsters, baby
but don’t be lookin’ under your bed
they’re only in your head now
it’s okay I think they’re dead now
you can listen to the static dream
of monsters in the attic
(screams) and more
then silence and a story
hush now
here’s a bedtime story
perhaps a little gory child
but that’s the way it happens baby
out there in the wild, child
sometimes that’s the way life goes
the way it ebbs and flows
when you’re out there
and you gotta get out there
you know
in spring there is no snow
hush now don’t be frightened
they’re only footprints
muddy footprints
bloody footprints covered
by the snow

"If Quincy had eaten me, good, 'cause he's a nice bear."

Timothy Treadwell


Poet with a Gun

by

Doug Larson

I sneak the safety quiet off
no ominous click in the dark
armed to dredge the mud of this
transitional bliss
the canned corn of my
emotional grist held tight
in the hard snooker ball
of my roughly callused fist

there is no rest for the wicked so I rise and write at night while half a world sleeps seeping
unconscious in the salivating maw of my midnight devilry
gently stroking the lion in ardent revelry
and yet I lose

I ooze you through my pores and onto page white sheets then sleep
wet and heavy
smoking gun tossed lightly on the bed
with fresh imprinted whorls on the trigger
dust for prints

I’m guilty of you

my little Miss Demeanor

Stick

by

Doug Larson

turning my head I saw you
lying stiff in the grass
a simple twig and wondered
how long since you fell from the tree?
since you lost your leaves?
your fruit?
your sap?
your seeds?
dry and brittle now
left underfoot to crackle under footfall
reposed upon a bed of grass
also dead and brittle
the same bed I now lie upon
drained of sap
under a canopy of green

Shtick

why don’t you speak?
cat got your tongue depressor?
you seem a little stiff my friend
loosen up a little will ya?
you’ve got to be flexible
you seem drained
a twig of your former self
too thin to whittle
too crooked too become an arrow
too short to bend
hard and dry
kindling?
I’ll leave you lie
as I roll to face the sky

Stick This

Cows and horses and deer all eat grass
deer excrete little pellets
cows leave patties, and horses
they drop clumps of dried grass
Why?
I don’t want to hear a dissertation
I don’t have time for convoluted obfuscation disguised
as illumination
break it down for me
simplify
make it easy
Cream of Wheat easy to digest
don’t try to explain the meaning of life to me
Freud or phallic symbolism
or the meaning of love
if you can’t explain what it means to be
a stick
If you don’t know
shit

Sticky business, this poetry

So I’m lying here looking through the leaves
watching white clouds obscure blue sky
pushed smoothly by the wind
a leaf shudders and falls from a branch
spinning earthward in free fall
a stick breaks free and falls tumbling
landing on my chest while the leaf follows
fluttering its way onto the brown grass
a dandelion loses its seeds to the wind and I watch
as they climb into the sky

blowing me away

Tree Frog

by

Doug Larson

My heart drifts like morning mist
illuminated in scattered rays of sunlight
rare columns of gold that manage to pierce
the dense daily canopy of routine
that drowns all light
entombs my artistry
in parasitic murk
The jungle floor scrapes my tender underbelly
as I skitter among the bromeliads
seeking shelter under wide leaves
blinking wetly while my gecko feet sink
slowly in the sticky mud
Wistfully I am dreaming of evolution
the progress of ascension
the world of thin air
and light that gleams
out there
above the leaves
defying gravity and all insipid logic
where all things are bathed sensuously
in cool wind
and warm erudition
free flight under a limitless awning
of clean blue sky

A deep orange settles like dust
as the rain withdraws withering
into gas
my cold wet feet are suction sticky
and the bark of the soaring trees
smooth as glass

One sticky step after another I climb
higher and higher as the day falls lower
and lower until finally I break through
framed gloriously in wounded light as the sun
pinches shut the sliver
of a drooping scarlet eye
cobalt sky
fading quietly
to deepest purple-black
and raven’s wings

stars popping like hot needles
one by one through a reaper’s hood
pinprick illusions
of redemption

I recline upon a broad leaf
blinking wetly
casually licking my amphibious lips
nakedly exposed to the cold void of heaven’s breath
and manage a faint Mona Lisa smile as I drift away
buoyed softly on a cloud
somewhere high above the jungle floor
and far beneath
the distant spark that marks the birth
of dreams

Somewhere in North America

by

Doug Larson

A mother snowshoe hare perks her ears, wide-eyed and shaking, and eats her newborn babies methodically, one at a time, accompanied by the eerie haunting music of howling wolves.

It’s mid afternoon on an average workday. My wife calls, and it’s clear that she’s upset.
Our daughter wasn’t there when she arrived to pick her up from school. I tell her to call her closest friends and the YMCA, just in case she forgot that she wasn’t supposed to go there after school anymore.
I also tell her I’m leaving work right away, and will see her shortly.
My gut twists as I rush out the door.

My wife calls me on my cell phone ten minutes after I leave.
She is frantic.
Our daughter is not at the Y
and her friends haven’t seen her since class.

My daughter would never go home with a friend unless we had planned it together ahead of time.

I tell my wife to call the police.

My mind separates from my body as the milk of my composure curdles in my chest, excruciating my nerves. Every red light, every car and truck that obstructs my drive twists into my flesh slowly, like rusty steel screws.

I see black and white cars in front of my house as I turn up our usually quiet street. Neighbors are gathering in front of our house. My son is outside with friends and tells me casually that his sister is missing. Anna, a neighbor, tells me she is going to the YMCA to check for her personally. Dazed, I thank her and go inside. There are friends in the house, and the police are getting information from my wife. I throw my arms around her and I tell her it’s all going to be O.K.

The words were meant as hope, but instead, they stick to my tongue like a lie.

We call everyone we know in her classes from school. Anna returns from the Y. Our daughter is not there. She checked the after school rooms herself, and our daughter wasn’t checked in on the bus driver’s list.

I get in the car to look for my daughter. Her school is called, and the janitors are set to searching the bathrooms and classrooms. More friends search the school. Matt, another neighbor and friend, rides with me.

As my desperation mounts, I find myself walking through the park in a nightmarish dream, looking behind dumpsters, and peering into the puddles and debris strewn interior of the concrete lined flood control channel. I suddenly realize the horror of what I am doing. Matt tries to be reassuring, but he is scared as well and it shows.
I am silently praying - bargaining -

I will endure any torture. Flay the flesh from my body, eviscerate me in front of an angry mob - anything.

Anything.

Please.

Not my daughter.

Not my precious little girl.

It has been over two hours.

I search the YMCA myself to no avail, asking the counselors if they have seen her; if there is anywhere we haven’t looked. Students from her school are calling everyone they know. I drive back home to be with my wife because I don’t know what to do or where to look.

I am afraid to go home - afraid to stop moving.

Afraid to face my wife

Afraid of what her face will tell me.

Afraid that I will not be strong enough to support the burden of her fear

or my own

The police have escalated their search, and I hear helicopters in the neighborhood. Neighbors come and go, wanting to help. It’s going on 4 hours, and the police advise us to call the grandparents in case our daughter might have gone home with them. I tell them that it is impossible that my daughter would have gone home with her grandparents and that I don’t want to upset them for no reason. They insist that I need to contact them anyway. I can tell that they are losing hope. It has been too long. Too much time has passed. Reluctantly, I place the calls. I waver as my mother in law cries out over the phone; sob as I listen to my own mother’s distress.

I sit with my wife, and together we watch the ticking clock as the sun sets in the sky.

Nighttime falls like a funeral shroud.

It has now been over four hours.

Together, we wait for a call.

Imprinted into my flesh by the 6 o’clock news

A little girl is found lying by the side of the road. Her innocent little body has been violated, smeared with semen and blood and strangled, posed like a rag doll, while her distraught mother waits by a telephone for a call that will rip her heart from her body and leave her empty of life and wanting to die. Upon hearing the news her husband will fall to his knees and curl sobbing into a trembling ball on the floor. He will eventually stand, but his soul will remain scarred for the rest of his days.

The phone rings.

It is the YMCA. They want to know when someone is going to come to pick up our daughter and they put her on the phone and I -

I

flying and falling and floating

I

could collapse and die enraptured with joy and undying gratitude

sheer Joy undressed raw and precious and giddy smiling laughing

Love is washing the death of fear from my soul

I would climb through the wires to hold her but I drive instead
and the whole of the world bathes me in rapture and sunshine holy water

When I see my daughter I wrap myself tightly around her as if I were a starfish with a thousand arms. I want to absorb her into my flesh, squeeze her through my pores; keep her safe within my skin.

Under cover of a new moon a mother twitches her pink nose, and leaves her burrow with a full stomach. She looks now for a safer place to raise her young. As she bounds away, her departure is accompanied by the eerie haunting music of howling wolves.

[Somewhere, everywhere, all at once, a scarred soul laments and understands why sometimes, mothers and fathers are compelled to eat their precious children]