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Raven Kanzaki

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Southen Pines, NC, US

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Carry the Light

by

Raven Kanzaki

The darkness enveloped
Life was a void, no true reality
My heart skipped a beat, and the darkness shattered.

The light, warm and bright, it saved me
But for a price
It flickered and wavered, slowly fading away
The darkness grew again. Carry the light. . .

Words failed me then, but I suddenly knew
This fading light, that saved me once
Was worth holding on to. . .

The light grew, the warmth touched my soul, engulfed my heart with its brightness
The darkness gave way. . .
It was then I knew, I held the light inside of me;
I carried you inside of me;
The one I trust, the one I’ll protect
The one I love, Carry the light. . .


Sepia Colored Portrait

by

Raven Kanzaki

Once upon a time, the world was iridescent;
Our world, beyond the looking glass, shattered.

Memories of blissful days, sever the cords of time.

I turn to the weeping skies, pleading to drown in safe water.

Trapped in a sepia colored portrait..

Once upon a time, you smiled softly at me;
I gazed upon the jagged edges of a fallen past.

Immortal emotions of heart, ensnared by the sands of time.

I stare to the ground, as the colors of life run..

That which was, is no more. Only a collage of life and love.

Trapped in a sepia colored protrait..

Reflection

by

Raven Kanzaki

I remember sloshing into the water, as wave upon wave rebelled against my being; Much as reality hit me, when I realized I had nothing more to live for..

Whose reflection haunts me, with the ebb and flow of the tide?
How I wished to sink into the water's abyss, if it meant I could surround myself with your fabricated presence.

I remember when the sky cried on my behalf; A thousand Angelic Tears. And the tears of the fallen stained my ivory cheeks..

Whose reflection is as smooth as a mirror, only to shatter by a single crystal tear?
To cut myself as I piece together that perfect imagine, I would gladly bleed.

A horizon is all I dream of; A place where the earth meets the sky. I am the earth, if you are the sky, and we'd gaze at each other forever. I missed you in that past- that distant memory. But I am with you in the realm of eternal dreams, as I see your reflection.

By My Side

by

Raven Kanzaki

Etched in my thoughts..caught in my dreams, I find myself thinking of you.

That smile: confident

Those eyes: Intelligent

Your arms, strong and reassuring.

The gentle voice that echoes in my mind- my heart skips a beat.
Stay by my side, I want to be with you.

Love is as hard to find as a perfect star in the sky.

My memory glitters at the thought of gentle you. So please-

I want to be with you.

Love is as hard to find as a perfect star in the sky.

Stay, never go away.

In my dreams, stay by my side..

Distance

by

Raven Kanzaki

I sit by the window
The sky cries on this night
Time Distorted.
Memories flicker alive
In the distance I see
You smiling at me.
Ocean's Infinity
Land for miles
But clearly I see you.
Never too close
Never too far
How I miss your touch.
A card never sent to the mail
Papers I have unfinished on the table
The violent night passes by.
I sit by the window
The sky cries on this night
Time Stops.
Alone, waiting, hoping
Distanced by far, I see
When you smile at me,
Memories flicker alive
As I know that it is true
You have never left my side.

Thinking of you, wherever you are.
I hold you close to my soul,
as I love you from this distance.

Reflection

by

Raven Kanzaki

I remember sloshing into the water, as wave upon wave rebelled
Against my being; Much as reality hit me, when I realized I had nothing
More to live for..

Whose reflection haunts me, with the ebb and flow of the tide?
How I wished to sink into the water's abyss, if it meant I could
Surround myself with your fabricated presence.

I remember when the sky cried on my behalf; A thousand Angelic Tears.
And the tears of the fallen stained my ivory cheeks..

Whose reflection is as smooth as a mirror, only to shatter by a single
Crystal tear?
To cut myself as I piece together that perfect imagine, I would gladly
Bleed.

A horizon is all I dream of; A place where the earth meets the sky. I
Am the earth, if you are the sky, and we'd gaze at each other forever. I
Missed you in that past- that distant memory. But I am with you in the
Realm of eternal dreams, as I lose myself to your reflection.

Ego

by

Raven Kanzaki

I.
I am.
I am: Love
I am: Compassion
I am: Apathy
I am: Anger
I am: Alone

I.
I am.
I am: Grey
I am: Color
I am: Shade
I am: Hue
I am: One

I.
I am.
I am: Protective
I am: Patient
I am: Stubborn
I am: Clumsy
I am: Unique

I.
I am.
I am: Me

Time

by

Raven Kanzaki

I think it is agreed, that time is a silly thing.
How long it can last, eternity;
The beat of hummingbird’s wing

A curious thing, time is known for.
How short-lived, at times.
Or perhaps eternity—forever more

There comes a time in one’s lived life
A time of peace, a time of strife
A time of common things are said
A time where spiteful lies are fed

A time to gaze in other’s eyes
You’d be amazed at life’s surprise
To see and think and feel and know
In time once friend is now a foe

To think and learn and as one
To see the truth as hardly fun
To come to terms that things are not
Those once-been friends, have come and fought

I think it is true, the wondrous enigma of time
How it is such a thing
One could call it a crime

A thoughtful thing, time is known to be
How it is that it can force
Many an eye to see

Time forever changes, it never is as it were
Oh—many a victim, have fallen to it’s lure.
The best of friends, now against each other’s own
So many emotional missiles to each other have flown.

No longer together, time does break the will
To be able to laugh, to share tears that spill
People come, and people go
To the ends of the earth, where no other know

Sepia colored memories, drift into the mind
Emotional coils, begin to unwind
The presence of who once was, begins to fade
Until the memory itself, has escaped—away!

Time is cruel, time is kind
Time is what breaks
Time it what binds.

Time brings people together
Time breaks people apart

Time has haunted us all
Even from the start.

Epitaph of Love

by

Raven Kanzaki

These here to you are one thousand words and one thousand confessions.
Oh, how my heart bleeds with the feeling of love!
A cruel sensation, that which is confused for obsession.
Obsession! Hark! What I know I feel comes not from what is seen above.

This said sensation; they call it love.
How is it that one can feel so grand,
What tortures be-go, what does the heart become of?
A sweet euphoria overtakes me; it is you that my soul demands.

Behold! How one becomes light as a feather, drifting in futile attempts to land,
When the gravity of love is tenacious and cruel!
How gently you take my hand and your hand_
_What fire sparks in my heart, you that it fuels!

A sweet sensation, this true love is, and true it is mine;
Mine, yours, and ours—forever in all of time

Eternal Dreams

by

Raven Kanzaki

I am spinning, dancing in the shadow of my darkness
I sing of forlorn dreams with haunting melody

Come with me, broken dreamer, come and take my hand.
I will take you to a world of misfit hope.
Let us laugh! Join me as I spin, dancing in the shadow of my darkness.

Blood-red ribbon, fluttering in the ghostly wind,
a dress of white, a fabrication of tranquil darkness...
Light laughter, a bewitching smile, a ball of red, haunting melody.

Come with me, broken dreamer, come and take my hand.
I beckon you to a realm of eternal sleep.
Let us fall, and leave the world we live in. Let us drift into sweet lullabies...

"I am the Guardian of the darkness, the reaper of broken lives..."

I am spinning, dancing in the shadow of my elegant macabre.
I sing of forlorn dreams with haunting melody.

A dance and song, a game with ball, a hand in hand...

Come with me, broken dreamer, come and take my hand.
Let me take you to a land of 1,000 nights.
We shall linger on haunting lullabies, and drift into a restful world of eternal dreams...

Ephemeral Love

by

Raven Kanzaki

I remember gazing into the reflection of that one garden pond
You know, the one with the lovely smelling flowers, the flowers
That reminded me of elegant damsels, swaying in the wind.
We laughed, then, lost within the maze of nature, and I smiled,
When we reached that pond. I watched our reflections, what was
This? We were one, gazing into that mirror.

I do remember gazing into the reflection of that one pond.
We were chased by an ephemeral dream called "love". I lay in lovely Yellow chamomile, the scents calming. A dream I never wanted to forget,
As I lay by your side. You pointed to the skies over head, and I looked
To the skies as well. It was then I frowned, for an ominous cloud lay.

I remember running, you took my hand in yours, as the skies
Cried, laughing without a care, our senses, our emotion blinded.
I felt Your hand slip from my own, and I reached out for you.
You were no Longer there. The stinging cold of the water from the pond awoken me, And I stared. Yes, I remember gazing into the reflection of that one Garden pond. You were not at my side, anymore. You had gone. We were No longer one.

I remember gazing into the reflection of that one garden pond
You know, the one where you spoke softly of our love. I do recall it so.
We were chased by an ephemeral dream called "love", but no more.
As I gaze into that one garden pond, I realize that it cannot be. I am alone.
The lovely-smelling flowers, the elegant damsels, are drowned within the mud.

Fading

by

Raven Kanzaki

Am I screaming? Am I so loud?
I can hardly hear myself: a mere fainting whisper?
Child-like fears, like the shadow of heart
Am I here, am I there? Am I really anywhere?

The sky is falling into a million beautiful pieces
Here we stand, buried under all there was to gaze upon
Is there light? Is there darkness?
Neither exists yet both are hardly a fabrication of imagination

Is this where I end? Or do I begin now?
I can hardly tell: to finish is to start, to start is to finish
Child-like fears, such as when to hold on or let go
What do I hold dear? What is there to cast aside?

The rhythm of the bouncing red ball
The nymph in white, she dances alone
Is there good? Is there evil?
Must the world be painted in red and black?

Am I screaming? Am I so loud?
I can barely hear myself: a mere fading voice in the world
Child-like fears, like the tranquil slumber of Oblivion
Am I here, am I there? Am I really anywhere?

I am fading?

Admiration's Waltz

by

Raven Kanzaki

What a time, and what a place!
One can never be too sure,
If they have found that one fair face.
The ever lovely, the ever pure.

I take thy hand within my own,
To the floor you lead me with grace
Is it your love you wish to loan?
What a lovely song, let us dance to such pace.

A lively party, merry and rife with hullabaloo!
How you grace me with this dance.
A twirl of the dress, through and through,
I thought you clumsy at first glance

A roundabout upon the floor--and here it is we go; so many faces here to see,
Yet only one has caught my eye, that lovely face which belongs to thee

Matreya

by

Raven Kanzaki

Sunset's golden fingertips, upon the flesh of my eyes,
The warmth of security wrapped around my slumbering form...

Towering Oak, a lone sentry expanding to far horizon,
his ancient face watching me in scorn

Leaves reflecting like gren gems, rustling a lullaby I dream to.
The wind speaks softly in my ear: a giggle, a sigh, the gossip never ceasing...

The lids of my eyes sliding open, and I know I am home;
This is my world, a world of wonder and mystery: Matreya.

In the distance, the ocean's roar enchants me so,
Yet I blissfully ignore the Elemental's beckoning

Nymphs of wind chase each other among the tall grass blades
and I watch the ripples run across the soft green stalks.

My heart leaps, my soul catches flight, and my body is no longer a cage;
I roam the land of my realm, for Matreya is my secret garden.

A movement startles me, yet it is simply my shadow, a silent companion who fades into the darkness, yet is cast by my light

The tips of my fingers sweep across the sand; the gentle waves murmuring and gurgling as the tide ebbs and flows...

The Fallen Angel's tear flooded the world, the rain against my skin so warm

The wind moaned in agony, and the waves crashed onto the beach with rage

I lay there with Apathy, as the ominous clouds gathered along the horizone. My shadow began to fade away, yet I was uncaring.

The beam of light pierces the clouds, an arrow straight and true. I turn my gaze skyward at the sudden intrusion

A bird of red, a prideful screech, the eyes of a hawk fly low. The span of wings spark, igniting a flame that moves me.

Emerald gaze, and I look around me in sudden realization; I am home, for Matreya is where I belong.

Ascending, ascending, into the depths of the ominous clouds, with a screech to call. I lift myself from sandy beaches to follow.

I break through the clouds, skimming across the skies, soaring to the sun, which burns the malice of the ominous storm,

giving birth to a new land, a world that is my own; I know that I am home, this is my world. Matreya is my own to reign.

A gentle sigh escapes; the fading image of Matreya eludes me.
Windows which are my eyes lead to the depths of my mind, body, and soul.

I know it was no dream, caught in the web which was my exhaustion,
For I know that I govern Matreya.

I am Materya.
Matreya is my own.
My own inner universe that has yet to vanish from within.

Friendship

by

Raven Kanzaki

I come a way to see you here,
And watch them point at you and jeer.
What useless antics, yet I see
How just affected one can be.

A deep anguish thunderous and true;
This act is ludicrous in MY view.
And so forth I step, tremulous yet there,
Scorning, warning--warning to all: beware!

I will not have this in my sight
For that is when one knows to fight
For what they feel they must believe
In what is in their hearts, conceived.

Weak and unsure, one can become
But that only leads to one undone.
You mean too much to stand and scorn
To see you beat down, my heart is torn

But then I see that there is chance
To lead them from a hating dance
As they surround you, I come near
To defend the person I hold dear

It is not that I find you weak
It is your wellbeing, I hope to seek
And scold me all you wish for trying
I find it better than to see you crying

Crying out in hopes to be saved
To come out of that fight unscathed
A hand to you I reach out now
Take it so I may lead you from a-foul

I am your friend, always and forever
To leer and jeer as they, you will see of me never
A friend is a person whom one knows, likes and trusts
Not to be fooled with fruits of lusts

Lusts that bear the form of hate
I want to save you now, and never be too late
So here I come to see you here
I want to chase away that fear

Know that I am by your side
Know I want the good of you from inside
I stand here before you, as your friend
Now and always—always till the end.

Memories

by

Raven Kanzaki

The warmth of the sun signals Spring's long awaited return
Raking my fingers through the tall grass, and it becomes clear
The flower, the smile, the laughter, and I-

I remember the spring of flowers, I-
I remember sweet blooms of love, I-
I remember a midsummer's night dream, and I-
I remember the stars as bright as the light in your eyes...

The imprints of footsteps are left along the sandy beaches
The ocean crashes- the water racing past, and it becomes clear
The sand dollar, the kiss, the words, and I-

I remember the passions of summer, I-
I remember the footsteps crumbling under waves, I-
I remember the way you held strong, and I-
I remember your form against my own, against the sea...

The dancing of leaves, and soon autumn is near.
Spinning and spinning, the leaves swirling, and it becomes clear
The leaf, the touch, the hug, and I-

I remember the waltz of fire, I-
I remember your hand in my own, I-
I remember the moment of embrace, and I-
I remember a thousand times goodnight in crisp air...

A canvas of white and fragile beauty; Winter has come.
snowflakes spiraling down like fairies, and it becomes clear
The promise, the departure, the silent goodbye, and I-

I remember the cold winter nights of snow, I-
I remember the promise we made, I-
I remember when you said goodbye, and I-
I remember watching perfection depart from my world...

The warmth of sun signals Spring's long awaited return.
Raking my fingers through newly bloomed flowers, and it becomes clear
The love, the promise, the memories, and I-

I remember the love that we shared, I-
I remember the good and the bad we faced, I-
I remember the day we encountered, departed, and I-
I remember promising to wait, and the promise to return...

If memory serves me correct, I am still waiting for another...
..another blossom of love to bloom...
..waiting for you, and I-
I'll be waiting here for you...
..waiting here, with memories.

Season of Life

by

Raven Kanzaki

A glorious time of the year!
When all that dies has come reborn.
A time in which we all should cheer,
No longer subjected to Winter’s scorn.

When the flowers blossom, bright and cheery,
The babes are born of mother’s love.
Hardly like the winter dreary--
The sun reigns about from his throne above.

No longer a time of brown or white,
A season borne by the innocents of Life.
And true to true, the bees take flight
No longer torn and battered by strife

The time of Spring has come once more,
Bearing gifts of life and plenty more!

The Counting Song

by

Raven Kanzaki

Sorrowful cry, heart that aches
How I sing to drown the pain
Gentle Smile, gentle voice
That which echoes
..one, two, three...
Minutes that pass, heart drowning in sorrow
Never forget the moon that wanes
Falling Stars, falling tears
Sorrowful cry, heart that aches
How I sing to ease my pain
Gentle laugh, gentle touch
See the mirror that shatters
..four, five, six...
Minutes that pass, heart drowning in sorrow
Time distorted, shadows looming
Darkness consuming, reach for the heart
Sorrowful cry, heart that aches
How I sing to end long silence
Gentle eyes, gentle arms
Encase me in darkness
..seven, eight, nine...
Minutes that pass, heart drowning in sorrow
A silent Hell, that consumes the soul
A darkness to press, the short of breath
Sorrowful cry, heart that aches
How I wish to sing- to call out to you
Gentle you, gentle you
But it is too late
..ten.

I Surrender

by

Raven Kanzaki

I surrender my voice to you, your pain I know it will ease.
I surrender my eyes to you; they twinkle as it is you they see.
I surrender my smile to you, only you can comprehend its true meaning.
I surrender my arms to you, as they beg to wrap around your being.

I surrender my mind to you, my thoughts and all my secrets;
I figure between just you and I, only you may keep them.
I surrender my body to you; I know it won’t be abused.
Let it warm and comfort, and reassure, never to be used.
I surrender my soul to you; it is all that I am.
I know that with all of my heart, it will love you all that it can.

I surrender my laugh to you, joyous, soft, or sad.
I surrender my tears to you, should I feel anger, pain, or glad.
I surrender my joy to you; let it take away your pain.
I surrender my sorrow to you, when I feel as though I’ve been slain.

I surrender, no more fighting. I give into this feeling, gladly. No regrets, no second thoughts. I give into this beautiful pain. I embrace it; I surrender myself to you.
For my love.

Passion

by

Raven Kanzaki

What is it about the sky that makes lovers want to fly away—
into the vast blue space, where nomadic clouds roam?

I recall drifting against the endless fields of red,
where teary-eyed faces of red damsels awaited their lovers.

It was not so distant a memory that I too
would sway; the wind’s gentle crooning moved me to tears.

Yet golden fingers gently stroked my cheeks and
warmth was restored to my soul.

Now I cry out loud, falling against the Red Sea,
staring at the same vast blue space, with the nomadic clouds;

wanting to fly away, far away from here with you.

Yet even so, I still can not fly; I am bound.
Bound to this Sea of Red, never to be free,

Like a scarlet damsel, awaiting her lover—
Watching those wings, ascending to a place;

A place I can only dream of, to sky-high passion.

Maroon 5

by

Raven Kanzaki

Brilliant hues of red in my eyes.

It’s getting harder to breathe in here.
Lust and passion consuming us both.

This love, it makes me shiver.
I made that secret oath to myself.

She will be loved, I’ll make sure of it.
Tangled together in the sheets of night.

The Sun is forbidden from shining here.
Waking up late on Sunday morning

No time for confession, it’s our secret
Telling dear mother she’s not coming home

Left a letter of the sweetest goodbye.

Miyu

by

Raven Kanzaki

Submerse me in dreams, and never wake me again.
See how she twirls within the shadow, the candle has died.
Gentle laughter filling the air as she plays with her ball of glass.
Suspended in a realm of eternity, she’s in need of an eternal companion.

Submerse me in dreams, and return to me my happiness.
Dreams of color and rays of light never to be seen in this world.
As the gentle wind of night flutters, her white dress carries her promise.
A duty unfulfilled until the end of time consumes her.

Pools of gold, forever burning into your heart; her smile is gentle and inviting.
The ribbon of red wrapped around your finger, like a satellite you gravitate to her.
Her shadow silent and forever behind her, even in the light of the dancing flame.
Graced with beauty and all things forbidden, the world in the palm of her hands.

Submerse me in dreams, and never wake me again.
Take me away and let the darkness remain eternally.
Gentle laughter filling the air as she plays with her ball of glass.
Dreams of color and rays of light are forbidden, here.

Submerse me in dreams, and return me to my happiness.
The lulling flame dancing gracefully like its creator, leading me onward.
As the gentle wind flutters, the moon shines in the lonely sky
Suspended in a realm of eternity, she’s in need of an eternal companion.

Let the haunting lullaby sweeten the air with sadness.
And the child-like nymph dance to its sorrowful cry.
The sky is crying on her behalf, painted in hues of violet.
The world in the palm of her hands, nothing but red and black.

Let the otherworldly child take you to her enchanting castle
Where eternity is an ongoing chord in the melody of sorrow.
The reaper of broken lives piecing the shards back together again
A stain-glassed window of white.

Across the Universe

by

Raven Kanzaki

I’ve just seen a face of the most beautiful girl.
It won’t be long—with a little help from my friends, we’ll come together.
While my guitar gently weeps, I’ll sink into a world of helter skelter.
Happiness is a warm gun, I tell you.
I’ll give her all my loving, and scream for the world, "I want to hold your hand!"
The blackbird flies high with Lucy in the sky with diamonds.
Hey Jude, don’t let me down. If I fell, I know you’d be the one to catch me.
Let it be, this time. All you need is love, right? She has this -something-, I swear.
Happily moving down to Blue Jay Way, being for the benefit of Mr. Kite.
Deeply, deeply, falling even faster, dear Prudence doesn’t stand a chance.
Flying away, across the universe; watching a revolution unfold.
I am the walrus and she is the sea that consumes me.
Let her fly with me, to a place where she whispers secret things.
"Hold me tight," she says, "Stay with me, in the strawberry fields, forever."
I think my sun just went supernova.

Daemon

by

Raven Kanzaki

Crow flew swiftly, eyes of past and future one.
Raven flew silently, guiding onward the other two.
Panther was diligent, ever-watchful of the three.
Wolf hunted skillfully, paws staccato in four.

Crow was shrill with laughter, he was a trickster.
Raven was comforting in word, she was a leader.
Panther was protective in nature, she was a guardian.
Wolf was confident in strength, he was a hunter.

Crow took to the power of magic.
Raven took to the power of grey.
Panther took to the power of Gaia.
Wolf took to the power of ice.

Crow took shelter in the realm of Death.
Raven took shelter in the realm of Between.
Panther took shelter in the realm of Sacrifice.
Wolf took shelter in the realm of Heart.

Crow belonged to the crafty thinker in front.
Raven belonged to the teacher of the class.
Panther belonged to the bully’s bully.
Wolf belonged to the class president.

Hybrid Theory

by

Raven Kanzaki

Like a papercut they tore us apart.
It only brought me one step closer with you.
These points of authority burn on the inside.

Crawling on my hands and knees
I find myself a runaway
All alone, by myself—where were you?

In the end, I found a place for my head
Forgotten and alone
I found a cure for the itch

You were there, right in front of me
Even as they tore us apart
It was you who was pushing me away.

Ferdinand

by

Raven Kanzaki

Sweet Jacqueline stole my heart in the dead of sleep.

Sweet dreams urge me, I’ve got tell her tonight.

Wild hair and crazier dreams, beauty within beauty pleading, "take me out".

Sweet Jacqueline stole my breath in the dead of night;

The dark of the matinee concealing reckless dreamers!

Sweet Jacqueline stole my sanity in the stark day light.

Less than truth and ever-casting conspiracies speak--
"I’m cheating on you."

"Auf achse!" I screamed, my nightmares racing faster than the car crashing.

Spiraling, spiraling, my wheel out of control.

Spilling, spilling, this fire burns the curtain down, revealing all.

No darts of pleasure to pierce clean the wounded heart.

She tells me that his name is Michael.

Somewhere within my lost self, a voice calls for me to come home.

At least sweet Jacqueline lived to see her 40’s.

Beautiful Boy

by

Raven Kanzaki

Beautiful boy
In a beautiful world
Take my breath away.