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Ashton Isenberg

of

Peoria, IL, US

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Why Can't I Have Him?

by

Ashton Isenberg

Why can't I have him?
He's right there,
So close to my hands,
So much we could share.
Why doesn't we want me?
Have I done sumthing wrong?
I want him to want me,
But I'll hafta be strong.
He says he still likes me,
And that he does care,
But how am I sure,
When he's not playing fair!
Please let me have him!
He'd be my prize!
He wouldn't want to leave!
He'd stay by my side!
I know if I had him,
He'd only want me.
If only he was mine,
I'd give him the key.
The key to my heart,
something special, I know.
I trust only him,
He couldn't be that low...
To break my trust,
Is an awful thing,
He wouldn't do it...
How much that would sting!
To know that I loved him,
And gave him my care,
If he hadn't loved me,
Then why did he dare?
He almost had it!
We were THIS close!
I was giving it to him,
He had no room to boast.
Why can't I have him?
Why doesn't he care?
It would be so great,
Our lives we could share!


I know

by

Ashton Isenberg

She played your heart,
Yes it is true,
Helping herself,
And hurting you!
What is her problem?
Couldn't she see?
You're everything wonderful...
You're perfect to me!
She made you feel,
Like you did sumthing wrong,
But it wasn't your fault,
You have to be strong!
You have to keep going.
You can't give up hope!
Life won't be over,
You'll be able to cope!
Soon it will leave,
It won't hurt anymore,
She won't look so good then,
You'll wonder why you were torn.
I sit here and watch,
As you wallow in hurt,
I know how it feels,
To be kicked in the dirt!
I know what it's like,
To love without walls,
I know what it's like
to wait for their calls!
But you must learn to notice,
The people who care,
The people who love you,
And will always be there
You can't dwell on the fact,
That you're miserable now,
It'll get better,
Though u don't know how!
Despite what you need,
I'll always be here,
To help cure the pain
And your falling tears.
I love you too much,
To watch you cry,
Come stay with me,
And never say goodbye!

How can I stop this!?

by

Ashton Isenberg

I fall asleep every night,
Wishing you were here.
I wake up in the mornings,
Hopin' your voice is what I'll hear.
What am I missing...?
What else could I be?
To make you stop wantin' her,
And begin lovin me!?
I know I shouldn't love you,
And that you don't love me,
But it's really hard to hear,
That it's her you seem to need...
Why can't I stop this?
Why won't it go away?
My head is sayin' NO!
But my heart is sayin stay!
I don't want to be here,
When all I feel is pain!
I can't watch the two of you,
Play this little game!
I want you to be happy,
Even if it's not with me...
Wait! Who am I kiddin?
Who else would I want it to be!?
I don't want to be happy,
Without you in my life.
I don't think I could do it,
And finish without strife...
I don't care about her feelings,
Or why you love her so.
I don't want to think,
Of why you can't just let her go...
I wish that you could feel,
All those things for me!
But you've got nothing...
Nuthin' for me to see!
You don't need my feelings,
Or for me to love you so,
But I do, and I'm sorry!
I just can't let them go.
I try to get you back,
But I know I won't succeed,
I'll try to control it,
And I'll try to leave you be!

Not a Feud

by

Ashton Isenberg

My friends are apart,
Been divided in two.
We're against one another,
It's not quite a feud.
There's no longer a reason,
It isn't a fight.
Our hate keeps on growing,
And can't be set right.
Some wish it were over,
And others don't care.
But one thing is common,
The love we once shared.
It's clear now to see...
That it's hopeless to try.
No one really cares,
And a few of us cry!
Can we be done now?
I want to go home!
Is this day over?
I can no longer drone!

Why Are You Doing This?

by

Ashton Isenberg

Why are you doing this?
Leaving your friends...
You're just hurting yourself,
While trying to meet ends.
You can only pick one,
You can't have them both!
You just don't get it...
There's no room for growth!
Girl had her chance...
And blew it twice!
She has no friends now,
But that doesn't sit right.
She needs you now,
She keeps wanting more,
Can't handle the fact,
That she's simply a whore!
She what she wants,
And she's done with you now,
Your friends are all gone,
And you want to know how!?
You were to busy helping,
To notice OUR pain.
Now look what happened,
What did you gain?
You didn't get Anything!
Nothing at all!
You've lost all of us,
And you're left here to bawl!
I still can't believe,
You took her over us!
And don't say you didn't,
'Cuz it's her you address.
I'm leaving now,
I'm all done here,
Don't cry to much,
Over the years.
Remember us always,
The best of the best...
We once were your friends,
but no more I guess...

Lost in a Daydream

by

Ashton Isenberg

When I talk to you I get goosebumps
When I see you my knees go weak
When I think of you I want to smile

I get lost in your eyes with the slightest glance
I slip into a daydream whenever you walk past

When you smile at me my heart starts to melt
I wish I had the courage to tell you how I felt

I long for the day when you'll take me away
because forever with you is how long I would stay

It Wouldn't Matter

by

Ashton Isenberg

I feel like a child,
Pathetic and small.
Sitting here waiting,
Thinkin' maybe you'll call.

I know so much better,
Than to still feel like this.
I know you don't love me,
But I just want one kiss.

One kiss that would lead,
To so, so much more.
You know what would happen,
You'd lower my score.

I'd invite you over,
And you'd sneak out for awhile.
You'd climb in my window,
Our clothes in a pile...

I'd start thinkin you cared,
And you'd say that you might,
But all that you'd feel,
Is bliss for one night!

I'd be OK for a while...
I wouldn't mind at all.
Until I finally realized,
It was just a booty call.

And when that realization came...
I'd get depressed and sad,
But then I'd see your face again,
And remember what we had.

I'd think of all the good times,
And shove out all the bad.
I'd forget about the hurt you caused,
And the times you made me mad...

None of that would matter,
I wouldn't really care,
Although I know it'd bother me,
Knowing I must share.

I'd wait for you to love me,
And when you finally did,
I'd take you in my arms again,
No longer feeling like that kid!

Just A Dream

by

Ashton Isenberg

I wish that I could stop it,
Stop caring for you so...
It's not as easy as it looks...
I'm really trying though...

I know I said I'm done,
And that I really do not care...
But Please!! Who'm I kidding...
I know the love's still there.

I know you do not care for me,
And your friends all hate me too...
But that's not enough to stop me,
From tellin you the truth.

I know that I have told you,
And you're prob'ly sick of me,
Believe me I have tried...
Tried to leave you be!

I know you understand my pain
'Cuz I know you feel it too,
Only difference is...
You feel for her...and I feel for you!

I wish that we could work this out,
It'd be jus like a dream...
Just like all those fairy-tales...
The ones that we've all seen!

Stuck in my head...
This little thought of mine...
I guess that's where it'll stay,
Until the very end of time...

Finally havin' Fun

by

Ashton Isenberg

I've found someone new...
And he makes you look so fake
He gives me all that love,
The love you used to take!

He appreciates my feelings
And he cares about me so,
I'm no longer bruised
By your fallen ego...

So go on and have your happiness.
I finally have my own!!!
I don't need to wait for you,
And I don't have to be alone!

I thought you were the only way,
To reach a blissful state...
I learned very quickly,
That's really not my fate!

I don't need you to be happy!
I can have it all.
You never really cared,
Just left me there to bawl.

And now it's really over...
I'm absolutely done!
I have the love I've looked for,
And I'm finally havin' Fun!!!

Goodbye from me forever

by

Ashton Isenberg

I finally have decided,
I'm really truly done
Done thinkin' I can have you,
Since it really is no fun.

It is no fun to sit here,
And always think of you...
No fun for me to look,
And only find you two.

If you really loved her,
You wouldn't come to me...
But who am I to say,
What you can or can not be?

I'm forgotten in your eyes,
Only needed when you need.
So this is my goodbye,
I'm settin' myself free!

I'm no longer gonna see you,
No longer gonna care.
I'm better than this...
I deserve a chance that's fair!

Good bye from me forever,
I'm never lookin back,
I'm really gonna try this time,
To get my life on track...

Everytime-For Chrissy (Apr '03)

by

Ashton Isenberg

Everytime you say it,
I come runnin' back.
But this time I don't like the way,
Things ended up off track!

This time it's all different...
Just when things are goin' right
You always somehow manage...
To get us in a fight.

I'm unsure now...
If I can trust.
Why should I care?
When your reasons aren't just!

I want to forgive,
But I just can't forget
Did you really love me?
Prob'ly not I bet!

You keep sayin' that you love me,
And that you care about me so...
Is that what you were thinkin'...
When you were messin' with that HOE!!

So now I need some time,
To sort out all my fears...
'Cuz I can barely look at you,
Without endin' up in tears...

What IF

by

Ashton Isenberg

I'm sorry I keep doin this
Never making up my mind...
I thought I had it figured out
I guess I just was blind.

Today I'm really done
But tomorrow...I'll want you here
I just can't make myself decide
I guess it's just a fear

I fear if I start wanting you,
You'll only run away,
But what if when I leave,
You come back to me some day...

What if this,and What if that,
Are the only things I think.
These What ifs are surrounding me
My head is on the Brink!

My mind is running everywhere
It can't stay in just one spot
I don't know where to go from here...
I'm lost with what I've got...

Missing You (Sept '03)

by

Ashton Isenberg

I miss the way you smiled at me,
I miss the way you felt.
I miss the way you tasted,
And the way you smelt.

I miss the hugs and kisses,
And the things we used to share.
I miss just laying next to you,
And playing with your hair.

So many things to miss,
They just won't go away!
I wish I could forget,
But I'm reminded everyday...

The songs you used to sing,
Play on the radio,
While the swings and slides we sat on
Are kissed by sunsets glow

I miss the times we had,
And I wish that you had stayed.
I miss you more and more...
I miss you everyday!

Growing Weak

by

Ashton Isenberg

I'm fighting with myself,
My mind is turned around.
I'm tired of this mess,
Why am I still bound?

I want to leave this all behind,
I want to say goodbye,
But nothing ever works for me...
It makes me want to cry.

I've tried to move on,
And I'm trying to let go,
I thought that I was over you,
But I know the truth will show.

It shines right through me,
My excuses growing weak...
My truth will soon be found,
And then what will I seek!?

Again!? (Sept. '03)

by

Ashton Isenberg

Here I go again,
Writing something new,
This time you'll be dead to me,
And I really won't need you.

What about tomorrow?
Then what will I write?
Somethin' 'bout my love for you,
And how I'm tryin' to fight?

One day it's all over,
The next day, your the one.
I'm confused about my feelings,
And all the stuff we've done...