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Raina Hutchins

of

London, England, UK

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raina4@ntlworld.com (Raina Hutchins)


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Why

by

Raina Hutchins


Why did God create a life
That wasnít meant to be
Why did he give eyes
If they were never meant to see
Why did he put breath in you
Then take that breath away
Why give you to me
If you were never meant to stay
Why show someone happiness
And how it feels to smile
And fill their hearts with hope
If it can only last a while
Why did God create the sun
When all it does is rain
How am I supposed to laugh
When all I feel is pain
Why let people dream
Knowing their dreams will not come true
Why should I find someone else
When all I want is you
Why say thereís a heaven
When it doesnít help to pray
Why is there tomorrow
When I long for yesterday
Whatís the point in searching
Knowing youíre not there to find
Why give someone life
If death is following behind
So why God when he took my love
Did he not take me too
For life is not worth living
If it means I donít have you

By Raina Hutchins


Love is...

by

Raina Hutchins

Love, I thought was meant to be
A word that makes you smile
Love, I thought was meant to be
A feeling so worthwhile
Love, I thought was meant to make you laugh
Not make you cry
Love, I thought was meant to say hello
Not say goodbye
Love is meant to leave you
Feeling happy every day
Love is meant to guide you
So you never lose your way
Love should be the dream
From which you never want to wake
Love should be the person
Whom you never will forsake
Love should be the one you lean upon
And your best friend
Love should be the reason for beginning
Not the end
Loveís a word I used to say
But now itís in the past
Love to me is just a feeling
Never meant to last
Love to me is just a word
Reminding what I had
Love is just a word that leaves me
Lost, alone and sad
Love to me is make believe
A dream that canít be real
Love just leaves a bleeding heart
A wound you cannot heal
One-day love is everything
You ever dreamed would be
Then suddenly it leaves you
Saying "I" instead of " We"

Eternal Love

by

Raina Hutchins

As daylight dawns my eyes close
On another sleepless night
So cold and all alone without
Your arms to hold me tight
I look out through the glass
And watch the sunrise in the sky
And still I find no answers
As again Iím asking why
My nights they seem so endless
Then I face another day
So full of pain and loneliness
Since God took you away
People say that time will heal
That Iíll get over you
That one day I will laugh again
That Iíll find someone new
I only wish theyíd understand
Why that will never be
Iíll never love another
For you were my destiny
And though I've tried to carry on
My fears I cannot hide
I just canít face this world alone
Without you by my side
The tablet bottles empty now
And on our I lay
I put my hands together
Then I close me eyes and pray
Please God will you send back down
My angel from above
Then he will gently take my hand
And lead me back to love
Heíll guide the way to heaven
Where together we will be
Two angels who are blessed with love
For all eternity

Silently I go Insane

by

Raina Hutchins

Staring out the window pane
Silently I go insane
Remembering what I try to forget
Try so hard but havenít yet
Thoughts of you invade my mind
I try to leave the past behind
But images engraved in stone
Haunt me when I'm all alone
The searing endless pain I feel
Stabs me with its blade of steel
I cannot laugh I cannot cry
Feelings and emotions dry
You say forgive; I cannot do
Not since I lost all faith in you
You cannot stop what has begun
You canít undo what has been done
You used, abused, cheated and lied
You took my dreams; you took my pride
You took my soul; my sanity
You took my trust and dignity
Honest, faithful, loyal and true
Everything I was to you
Believing all your thoughtless lies
Until I saw through your disguise
Now Iím left with pain and sorrow
How do I get through tomorrow
I know I must forget I cared
Forget the love and dreams we shared
Forget the man you used to be
Remember what my eyes did see
Remember all you did so wrong
Remember now I must be strong
Refuse to play this mental game
Or silently Iíll go insane

Lee's Verse

by

Raina Hutchins

Whenever a tunnel of darkness descends

Remember... there's always a light at the end

Face all your fears, and follow your dreams

For nothing is ever as bad as it seems

Things may go wrong, but don't be afraid

Lessons are learned from mistakes that are made

Life is not painless, but never despair

Just reach deep inside..and your strength will be there..

From Lee...From Heaven

by

Raina Hutchins

Chosen by the Angels
To be their brightest star
Looking down from Heaven
I watch you from afar
Sitting at my window
High up in the sky
Wishing I could ease your pain
And dry the tears you cry
To let you know I'm happy
With the Angels up above
To tell you I am now at peace
Surrounded by God's love
To let you know that Heaven
Is not a lonely place
And while I'm watching over you
A smile is on my face
But always to remember
When you feel all hope is gone
I'm never far away
For in my son...I still live on..

I'll Never Get Over You

by

Raina Hutchins

If only I had seen it coming
But I never knew
The day before you left me
I had one more day with you
If only I could turn back time
And bring back yesterday
If only I could tell you
All the things I need to say
If only I could hold you close
And kiss you just once more
If only I could see you smile
As you walk through that door
Walking down this lonely road
Lost, alone and sad
Holding onto memories and dreams
That we once had
I need you here to guide me
For I know Iíll lose my way
Without you Iíll crumble
Without you Iím not ok
I still donít understand the reason
Why you had to leave
I donít know how to deal with this
I donít know how to grieve
Looking in the mirror
I still see you in my eyes
And always I will love you
Because true love never dies
Everything I feel inside
Gets stronger everyday
The love thatís in my heart for you
Will never fade away
Everything we shared
And all the memories made together
Will live within my heart and soul
They'll stay with me forever
As long as there is night and day
As long as skies are blue
As long as stars still shine so bright
Iíll never get over you

By Raina Hutchins

Lee's Verse

by

Raina Hutchins

Whenever a tunnel of darkness descends

Remember...there's always a light at the end

Face all your fears

And follow your dreams

For nothing is ever as bad as it seems

Things may go wrong

But don't be afraid

Lessons are learned from mistakes that are made

Life is not painless

But never despair

Just reach deep inside...

And your strength will be there..

For Lee, my son-in-law, who was so very special to me.

Life will never be the same again...
I will miss you for always xxxx

Love is ...

by

Raina Hutchins

Love, I thought was meant to be
A word that makes you smile
Love, I thought was meant to be
A feeling so worthwhile
Love, I thought was meant to make you laugh
Not make you cry
Love, I thought was meant to say hello
Not say goodbye
Love is meant to leave you
Feeling happy every day
Love is meant to guide you
So you never lose your way
Love should be the dream
From which you never want to wake
Love should be the person
Whom you never will forsake
Love should be the one you lean upon
And your best friend
Love should be the reason for beginning
Not the end
Loveís a word I used to say
But now itís in the past
Love to me is just a feeling
Never meant to last
Love to me is just a word
Reminding what I had
Love is just a word that leaves me
Lost, alone and sad
Love to me is make believe
A dream that canít be real
Love just leaves a bleeding heart
A wound you cannot heal
One-day love is everything
You ever dreamed would be
Then suddenly it leaves you
Saying "I" instead of " We"

One Last Time...

by

Raina Hutchins

I feel your breath upon my cheek
Your heartbeat next to mine
Cradled in your arms; but know
Itís just for one last time

I look into your eyes: you smile
That smile just breaks my heart
Lying here so close, but know
Weíre really worlds apart

As I watch you sleep
A single tear falls from my eye
I know deep down your leaving me
I know this is goodbye

I close my eyes and silently
I pray to God above
That I will wake from sleeping
Still beside this man I love

As I pray he looks at me
And gently wipes my tears
He holds me in his arms
His whispers chase away my fears

He tells me that he loves me
How much to him I mean
But suddenly I realize
Itís really just a dream

For when my eyes are open
In the cold cruel light of day
I know my prayers werenít answered
I know heís gone away

What do I do now
How am I supposed to feel
How do I move on
Do I bleed, or do I heal

Do I face the truth
Or do I live on lets pretend
But sadly deep inside I know
We've reached our journeys end..

Bree, Paulie, Brooke, George & Sydnie-Rose...

by

Raina Hutchins

For Bree, Paulie, Brooke, George & Sydnie-Rose_with Love

I know I don't have millions
To leave you in my will
But what I have for each of you
Is something greater still

I have a few possessions
For each of you to keep
Photographs and memories
I know will make you weep

All my sad sad poems
Written through my tears
All the journals of my life
I wrote throughout the years

My jewellery and diamonds
For Sydnie, Brooke and Bree
And every time you wear them
I know youíll think of me

Jewellery and diamonds
For George and Paulie too
To give them to your little girls
With love from me and you

I know you that you will treasure
All of the above
But something far more greater
I leave you... is my love

It brought you all into this world
And helped you all to grow
With each and every step
Iíve loved you more than you will know

Each of you is different
You all have your own ways
From when you all were babies
And through your childhood days

Naughty things you said and did
The secrets you would hide
But even through your teenage years
I watched you grow with pride

The closeness that you share
Between a sister and a brother
The love I know is there
Has made me proud to be your mother

Now youíre all grown up
And having children of your own
And you will share with them
The love and laughter you have known

Keep with you your memories
Your thoughts, that special song
No one else can take
To only you, they do belong

Don't feel lost or lonely
Or afraid of what to do
Just follow your heart..knowing
I'm always there with you

Keep with you the knowledge
That even from above
Nothing in this world
Is greater..than a Mother's love

Never change for no one
Just be always who you are
And Iíll be right beside you
Your forever guiding star...

Please Give Him Back To Me_

by

Raina Hutchins

I just donít want to be alone
I donít want to be free
I cannot be without you
But all thatís left is me
I lie here in the darkness
I scream, I shout, I cry
But no one seems to hear me
As I pray, I pray to die
There is no daylight in my world
No sun, no moon, no glow
No smiles or laughter; only tears
Just tears, sad tears that flow
I put my hands together
I pray to God above
To take me from this lonely place
And to the man I love
But in the deafening silence
I know I face defeat
I know I'm still alone, because
My broken heart still beats
He took you from my loving arms
And walked you through His door
You belong to Him now
You belong to me no more
I know I live on borrowed time
I know it wonít be long
Before I'm in your arms again
The place where I belong
And I will keep on praying
Until he hears my plea
To take me through the gates of Heaven
And give you back to me_

Lying In The Darkness,,

by

Raina Hutchins

Lying in the darkness
Nothing here to see
The shadow of my lonely self
Just staring back at me

Lying in the silence
Deafening to my ear
The beating of my lonely heart
The only sound I hear

Lying here remembering
The world of you and I
A love beyond forever
We knew would never die

My tears are never ending
My vision always blurred
No one listens to my prayers
My words still go unheard

You showed me what it was to love
You showed me how to feel
My love for you was endless
My life with you was real

I know I'm needed in this world
Even though youíre gone
I know I must survive this pain
I know I must be strong

But always Iíll remember that
Again one day Iíll see
The only man Iíll ever love
The only man for me...

Untitled

by

Raina Hutchins

My Secret Love Affair_

Even though our time is just
A moment here and there
To me youíll never be
The average everyday affair

I know Iím just a picture
In the memory of your mind
The girl you keep a secret
The girl you leave behind

There was a time Iíd lay awake
And dream of you and I
There was a time I wanted more
There was a time Iíd cry

For love is never easy
When itís given just by one
Love is never easy
When for him itís just for fun

Love is never easy
When you think that itís for real
But when the spell is broken
It's not love, but lust you feel

Your dreams diminish one by one
Illusions fade away
And in their place reality
Has come to have its say

So now I know the secret
To a passionate affair
To just enjoy the moment
To live without a care

To take each moment as it comes
With eyes now open wide
But always with your secret love
You just enjoy the ride...

Bree, Paulie, Brooke, George & Sydnie-Rose...

by

Raina Hutchins

For Bree, Paulie, Brooke, George & Sydnie-Rose_with Love

I know I don't have millions
To leave you in my will
But what I have for each of you
Is something greater still

I have a few possessions
For each of you to keep
Photographs and memories
I know will make you weep

All my sad sad poems
Written through my tears
All the journals of my life
I wrote throughout the years

My jewellery and diamonds
For Sydnie, Brooke and Bree
And every time you wear them
I know youíll think of me

Jewellery and diamonds
For George and Paulie too
To give them to your little girls
With love from me and you

I know you that you will treasure
All of the above
But something far more greater
I leave you... is my love

It brought you all into this world
And helped you all to grow
With each and every step
Iíve loved you more than you will know

Each of you is different
You all have your own ways
From when you all were babies
And through your childhood days

Naughty things you said and did
The secrets you would hide
But even through your teenage years
I watched you grow with pride

The closeness that you share
Between a sister and a brother
The love I know is there
Has made me proud to be your mother

Now youíre all grown up
And having children of your own
And you will share with them
The love and laughter you have known

Keep with you your memories
Your thoughts, that special song
No one else can take
To only you, they do belong

Don't feel lost or lonely
Or afraid of what to do
Just follow your heart..knowing
I'm always there with you

Keep with you the knowledge
That even from above
Nothing in this world
Is greater..than a Mother's love

Never change for no one
Just be always who you are
And Iíll be right beside you
Your forever guiding star...

Please Give Him Back To Me_

by

Raina Hutchins

I just donít want to be alone
I donít want to be free
I cannot be without you
But all thatís left is me
I lie here in the darkness
I scream, I shout, I cry
But no one seems to hear me
As I pray, I pray to die
There is no daylight in my world
No sun, no moon, no glow
No smiles or laughter; only tears
Just tears, sad tears that flow
I put my hands together
I pray to God above
To take me from this lonely place
And to the man I love
But in the deafening silence
I know I face defeat
I know I'm still alone, because
My broken heart still beats
He took you from my loving arms
And walked you through His door
You belong to Him now
You belong to me no more
I know I live on borrowed time
I know it wonít be long
Before I'm in your arms again
The place where I belong
And I will keep on praying
Until he hears my plea
To take me through the gates of Heaven
And give you back to me_

Lying In The Darkness,,

by

Raina Hutchins

Lying in the darkness
Nothing here to see
The shadow of my lonely self
Just staring back at me

Lying in the silence
Deafening to my ear
The beating of my lonely heart
The only sound I hear

Lying here remembering
The world of you and I
A love beyond forever
We knew would never die

My tears are never ending
My vision always blurred
No one listens to my prayers
My words still go unheard

You showed me what it was to love
You showed me how to feel
My love for you was endless
My life with you was real

I know I'm needed in this world
Even though youíre gone
I know I must survive this pain
I know I must be strong

But always Iíll remember that
Again one day Iíll see
The only man Iíll ever love
The only man for me...

Untitled

by

Raina Hutchins

My Secret Love Affair_

Even though our time is just
A moment here and there
To me youíll never be
The average everyday affair

I know Iím just a picture
In the memory of your mind
The girl you keep a secret
The girl you leave behind

There was a time Iíd lay awake
And dream of you and I
There was a time I wanted more
There was a time Iíd cry

For love is never easy
When itís given just by one
Love is never easy
When for him itís just for fun

Love is never easy
When you think that itís for real
But when the spell is broken
It's not love, but lust you feel

Your dreams diminish one by one
Illusions fade away
And in their place reality
Has come to have its say

So now I know the secret
To a passionate affair
To just enjoy the moment
To live without a care

To take each moment as it comes
With eyes now open wide
But always with your secret love
You just enjoy the ride...

Know I'm Always There

by

Raina Hutchins

Know I'm Always There
I didnít choose to leave you
For here I donít belong
But Heaven is my home now
So please my love be strong

I know you cannot hear me
So I'm sending you this prayer
I need for you close your eyes
And feel that I'm still there

When no oneís there to hold you up
You donít know what to do
When your legs will walk no more
I will carry you

When you stumble down and fall
Take my hand and rise
For when you cannot find your way
I will be your eyes

Know that when youíre crying
I will wipe away your tears
When dreams are there to haunt you
I will fight away your fears

When loneliness surrounds you
And covers you with fear
Know Iím standing by your side
Know I'm always I am here

When you feel you canít go on
When pain is just too real
Know Iíll never leave
Until your scars begin to heal

When dark descends upon you
And sleep no longer comes
I will lie beside you
Till you see the rising sun

I know youíll keep me in your heart
Even though I'm gone
For time cannot erase our love
In you, it will live on...

By Raina Hutchins

Echoes Of You...

by

Raina Hutchins

For me the sun has closed her eyes
Never to rise again
Darkness is all that surrounds me now
Darkness and echoes of pain

I'm on a journey to nowhere
The road is narrow and long
Walking alone, I stumble and fall
With echoes of you and our song

I try to look to the future, but
I may just as well be blind
The absence of you is all that I see
Echoes of you so defined

Confusion and pain, my constant friends
They never leave me alone
Reminders of all that you and I shared
Echoes I cannot disown

Today or tomorrow will never be mine
I live in a dark, sad place
The past, not the present, is all I can see
In the echoes of your lovely face

Emotional scars are invisible
But the damage is built to last
I wonder, will I ever be free
From echoes of you and the past...

By Raina Hutchins

raina4@hotmail.co.uk

by

Raina Hutchins

raina4@hotmail.co.uk is my new email address

DAD...

by

Raina Hutchins

If only we could have you back dad
Just for one more day
To hold you in our arms once more
Before you went away

To tell you how we love you
How we know you loved us too
How no man in this world
Will ever take the place of you

Dad you were our anchor
Our rock, our shining knight
The man we all depend upon
And love with all our might

Always we will picture you
Sitting in your chair
Coffee, paper, football...
How we wish you were still there

Whenever you were told
Another grandchildís on the way
The frown upon your face
Spoke the words youíd never say

But when each newborn grandchild
In your loving arms was placed
The look of unconditional love
Was there upon your face

Precious memories linger
And tears will gently flow
For the granddad with the sweets
For the Granddad who never said no

Always there for each of us
You always made us smile
And knowing we were happy
Seemed to make your life worthwhile

You filled our lives with happiness
We filled your heart with pride
But now we walk this unknown path
Without you by our side

Those who never met you
Will feel they know you too
For part of you will live in us
In everything we do

Forever we will miss your voice
Your laugh, your smiling face
Forever we will miss the dad
We never will replace

Itís hard to let you go dad
For we never said goodbye
Now youíre an Angel in Godís Heaven
High above the sky

But sometimes when weíre all alone
And feel all hope is gone
I know weíll hear you whisper
"Kids just smile...and carry on"...

We love you dad...
Always have...
Always will...
xxxx

Know I'm Always There

by

Raina Hutchins


I didnít choose to leave you
For here I donít belong
But Heaven is my home now
So please my love be strong

I know you cannot hear me
So I'm sending you this prayer
I need for you close your eyes
And feel that I'm still there

When no oneís there to hold you up
You donít know what to do
When your legs will walk no more
I will carry you

When you stumble down and fall
Take my hand and rise
For when you cannot find your way
I will be your eyes

Know that when youíre crying
I will wipe away your tears
When dreams are there to haunt you
I will fight away your fears

When loneliness surrounds you
And covers you with fear
Know Iím standing by your side
Know I'm always I am here

When you feel you canít go on
When pain is just too real
Know Iíll never leave
Until your scars begin to heal

When dark descends upon you
And sleep no longer comes
I will lie beside you
Till you see the rising sun

I know youíll keep me in your heart
Even though I'm gone
For time cannot erase our love
In you, it will live on...

Raina Hutchins

Know I'm Always There

by

Raina Hutchins

Know I'm Always There
I didnít choose to leave you
For here I donít belong
But Heaven is my home now
So please my love be strong

I know you cannot hear me
So I'm sending you this prayer
I need for you close your eyes
And feel that I'm still there

When no oneís there to hold you up
You donít know what to do
When your legs will walk no more
I will carry you

When you stumble down and fall
Take my hand and rise
For when you cannot find your way
I will be your eyes

Know that when youíre crying
I will wipe away your tears
When dreams are there to haunt you
I will fight away your fears

When loneliness surrounds you
And covers you with fear
Know Iím standing by your side
Know I'm always I am here

When you feel you canít go on
When pain is just too real
Know Iíll never leave
Until your scars begin to heal

When dark descends upon you
And sleep no longer comes
I will lie beside you
Till you see the rising sun

I know youíll keep me in your heart
Even though I'm gone
For time cannot erase our love
In you, it will live on...

By Raina Hutchins

Echoes Of You...

by

Raina Hutchins

For me the sun has closed her eyes
Never to rise again
Darkness is all that surrounds me now
Darkness and echoes of pain

I'm on a journey to nowhere
The road is narrow and long
Walking alone, I stumble and fall
With echoes of you and our song

I try to look to the future, but
I may just as well be blind
The absence of you is all that I see
Echoes of you so defined

Confusion and pain, my constant friends
They never leave me alone
Reminders of all that you and I shared
Echoes I cannot disown

Today or tomorrow will never be mine
I live in a dark, sad place
The past, not the present, is all I can see
In the echoes of your lovely face

Emotional scars are invisible
But the damage is built to last
I wonder, will I ever be free
From echoes of you and the past...

By Raina Hutchins

raina4@hotmail.co.uk

by

Raina Hutchins

raina4@hotmail.co.uk is my new email address

DAD...

by

Raina Hutchins

If only we could have you back dad
Just for one more day
To hold you in our arms once more
Before you went away

To tell you how we love you
How we know you loved us too
How no man in this world
Will ever take the place of you

Dad you were our anchor
Our rock, our shining knight
The man we all depend upon
And love with all our might

Always we will picture you
Sitting in your chair
Coffee, paper, football...
How we wish you were still there

Whenever you were told
Another grandchildís on the way
The frown upon your face
Spoke the words youíd never say

But when each newborn grandchild
In your loving arms was placed
The look of unconditional love
Was there upon your face

Precious memories linger
And tears will gently flow
For the granddad with the sweets
For the Granddad who never said no

Always there for each of us
You always made us smile
And knowing we were happy
Seemed to make your life worthwhile

You filled our lives with happiness
We filled your heart with pride
But now we walk this unknown path
Without you by our side

Those who never met you
Will feel they know you too
For part of you will live in us
In everything we do

Forever we will miss your voice
Your laugh, your smiling face
Forever we will miss the dad
We never will replace

Itís hard to let you go dad
For we never said goodbye
Now youíre an Angel in Godís Heaven
High above the sky

But sometimes when weíre all alone
And feel all hope is gone
I know weíll hear you whisper
"Kids just smile...and carry on"...

We love you dad...
Always have...
Always will...
xxxx

Know I'm Always There

by

Raina Hutchins


I didnít choose to leave you
For here I donít belong
But Heaven is my home now
So please my love be strong

I know you cannot hear me
So I'm sending you this prayer
I need for you close your eyes
And feel that I'm still there

When no oneís there to hold you up
You donít know what to do
When your legs will walk no more
I will carry you

When you stumble down and fall
Take my hand and rise
For when you cannot find your way
I will be your eyes

Know that when youíre crying
I will wipe away your tears
When dreams are there to haunt you
I will fight away your fears

When loneliness surrounds you
And covers you with fear
Know Iím standing by your side
Know I'm always I am here

When you feel you canít go on
When pain is just too real
Know Iíll never leave
Until your scars begin to heal

When dark descends upon you
And sleep no longer comes
I will lie beside you
Till you see the rising sun

I know youíll keep me in your heart
Even though I'm gone
For time cannot erase our love
In you, it will live on...

Raina Hutchins