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Stinkypants Howarth


Cumbria, England, UK

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My Friend


Stinkypants Howarth

My friend can make a
Funny face
He sticks his tongue
Right out
He makes his eyes
Look at his nose
And wiggles his ears about

My friend can be an
By running round and round
He holds his arms out
Very straight
And almost leaves the ground

My friend can drive a
He steers it really good
He always wears his
Racecar hat
Which really is his hood

My friend can be a
With his coat tied round his chin
He fights with all the baddies
And they never ever win

My friend is fun to
Play with
He's something different
Tomorrow we'll play
At spacemen
And explore the Milky Way

I like to...


Stinkypants Howarth

When I go to sleep at night
I close my eyes and dream
Of magic wands and elephants
And strawberries and cream

I like to fly my aeroplane
Or drive my Daddy's car
But scoring for my favourite team
Is the best by far

I like to talk to sausages
And listen when they sing
Or go to visit sweetie land
Where they'll make me king

I like to dress up as a clown
And wear a bright red nose
With great big shoes and braces
And funny coloured clothes

I like to do some shopping
In fairyland no less
I'll buy my special flying wings
And my fairy dress

You too can visit the land
Of dreams
And never leave your bed
For all the dreams you want
So much
Are safetly in your head

Little Sister


Stinkypants Howarth

I've got a little sister
She won't leave me alone
She plays with all my
Toys and dolls
But never with her own

I found her in my bed
One night
Hiding underneath the sheet
I nearly jumped out of my skin
When I touched her with my feet

Another time the little pest
Pulled my curtains off the rail
She was playing at being married
And using them for her veil

I like to do a jigsaw
But not when she is near
She always takes the bits of me
To chew or put in her ear

I've tried to tell my sister "NO"
But she just laughs and giggles
She doesn't care, pulls out her tongue
And around the room she wiggles

One day when I was in my room
From my drawer I heard a din
The pest had got the family cat
And locked poor pussy in

She climbs onto the worktop
Like a monkey up a tree
She roots through all the cupboards
Then puts the blame on me

Although my little sister
Is such a naughty tot
She is really very special
And I love her a lot

Christmas Eve


Stinkypants Howarth

It's christmas eve
He'll be here soon
He glides through the air
And over the moon

A jolly old man
Sat on his sleigh
His eight magic reindeer
Leading the way

With a ho ho ho
And a loud jingle bell
I hope you've been good
He'll be able to tell

The reindeer stand patient
As Santa gathers his sack
And jumps down your chimney
With it slung on his back

Under your tree Santa
Rests his old eyes
On a big glass of milk
And some lovely mince pies

He sorts out the gifts
There's treasure galore
Then heads for the bedroom
And opens the door

He silently stands at the
End of your bed
And fills up your stocking
while you rest your head

He goes back to the fireplace
And within the blink of an eye
He uses his magic
And up the chimney does fly

Then we awake
Shouting he's been
That lovely old man
Who does'nt like to be seen

Peter Nosepicker


Stinkypants Howarth

Peter Nosepicker loved
Picking his nose,
Green bogeys, brown bogeys
Anything goes.
No-one could stop him
All day he sat picking,
He just loved the feeling
Of rolling and flicking.
He made people sick,
With his gooey green loogies,
All slimy and wet,
He thought it was groovy.
That is, until one
fateful day,
When he flicked a big green
bogey away.
The bogey was mad at being
After lovingly being
rolled and then rounded.
So he once hit the floor
and bounced right back up,
"I'm not staying down there
With the grime and the muck".
He aimed with all might
and whilst flew struck a pose,
And shot right back up
Peter Nosepickers nose.
Peter alarmed at feeling this thing
held down four his fingers,
the fifth he stuck in.
He used all his tricks
over the years he had found,
but the slimy green bogie
Still stood his ground.
"You're not moving me",
Thought the adventurous snot.
"I like it up here, I like
It a lot".
So Peter gave up trying
to pick it with his finger,
whilst up his snozzle
the bogey did linger.
So having a brainwave
whilst rolling one lanky,
Peter decided to blow the bogie
into his hanky.
"OH NO", thought the snot
"He's blowing me out,
no longer can I stay in
his rotten old snout."
So deciding to quit
whilst shedding a tear,
for his own future
the bogey did fear.
But Peter had grown fond
of the spirited snot,
and had decided to get
rid of him not.
Instead with Peter
the bogey now lives,
and help to Peter he
sometimes gives.
If you meet him
you will know, because he's
such a boaster,
and he's very proud of his
new job,
holding up Peter's poster.

Always on my mind


Stinkypants Howarth

You were with me every single day
You always made me smile,
Just knowing you were near me
Made my life worthwhile.
Your smile lit up the room
And the darkest corners of my heart,
But my heart is still in darkness
Since we've been apart.
No longer can I touch your hand
Or gently watch you sleep,
But the happy times we shared
In my heart I'll keep.
The simple things in life,
Have since become a chore,
Life doesn't have the same meaning
That it had before.
So, your face must stay a memory
Of the sweetest kind,
And you will remain forever,
Always on my mind.