The Web Poetry Corner
The Web Poetry Corner
Victoria, TX, US
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To Grandpa - 1995
This is to man who means the world to me. His life was hard and very fast but he is still going strong.
When I was young and just a child of three.
This man cared and always had plenty of love just for me.
He smashed my pinky finger in the bathroom door.
One day I was hiding under the bed and he called me a little whore.
He always made sure I had presents on Christmas day.
He left me know I had a place to stay when my father would stray.
We went through a whole lot of hell together through thick and thin.
We were there for each other when my precious grandmotherís life came to an end.
His lost was large his heart was shattered.
He didnít care about anything nothing else mattered.
He managed to pull his life together again.
With lots of help from his loved ones and friends.
At the age of seventy-two he was busted with cocaine.
He called me from jail saying " get me out Iím going insane".
My grandfather has settled down some you see.
He got out of this one with five years of probation and a lot of fees.
He really is a good person no matter what anyone thinks.
To me he is the best he is my grandfather and I think his shit donít stink.
If I leave this world before my grandfather I know he will be sad.
Yes I will miss him but he better keep on fighting or I will be mad.
Grandma and I will be watching you with a very close eye.
So you better be good quit drinking and be sure not to tell a lie.
You must go on and live life as good as you can.
For grandma and I still believe your one hell of a man.
Grandma and I will be waiting for your judgement day.
Weíll be at the gates to show you the way I love you grandpa and that is what Iím trying to say.
No one will ever call me sweetpea again.
Youíre not only my grandfather youíre my friend.
Grandpa - 1996
As I sit in the hospital day after day night after night.
It becomes harder and harder to watch you fight.
Being here with you was one of the hardest things Iíve ever done.
But when the end comes I know we have finally won.
Your life here on earth was always a struggle for you.
We know you were not perfect and sometimes you did things you didnít mean to do.
They just told me to call in the family that itís your time to go.
That is so hard for me because I love you so.
Iím ready now for you to stop suffering and to set you spirit free.
But to say goodbye to you grandpa is so hard for me.
Now youíre gone my heartache will pass with lots of heartfelt tears.
Grandpa I love you and will always remember you thorough out the years.
I know your with grandma now and happy as you can be.
So until I see you again I love you and know youíll watch over me.
Grandpa - 1997
Itís been one year to the day.
That you died left me just went away.
Some people say that I am selfish that I should just let go.
Iíve really tried it's hard grandpa I miss you so.
They say the pain will lesson through-out the years.
It hasnít for me for today I sit alone in tears.
I remember the pain and terror we both went through.
Iím glad youíre no longer suffering and went on to a better place but damn it I still want you.
I long for your voice, your smell and your touch.
I always knew your death would haunt me, but I never thought it would hurt this much.
I still remember when you called me your little sweetpea.
It isnít fair how could they have left all the choices up to me.
The scars are deep the dreams never go away only if they could see.
What a toll your death has mentally took on me.
Iím sure your death hurts more than just me.
As long as I live I will never forget what I had to see.
I guess people hurt in all different ways.
Me I just write a poem for what I fell I could never find the words to say.
If I had a choice to it (your death) all over again.
I would because Iím not only your granddaughter Iím your friend.
The last poem that I wrote were on the day you died.
My poem was read at your funeral I once never cried.
Today Iíll drink, write and cry.
I wrote this poem because I still donít know how to say goodbye.
Still Hurting - 1998
Still yet another year goes by,
As the anniversary day of your death grows closer I start to cry.
I am doing so much better as I told you I would,
I try not to remember the pain of loseing you ,only if I could.
As I stood there and watched you sleep, I heard them calling you home.
I didnít care I was selfish I didnít want to be here on earth all alone.
I know you and Grandma or watching us and are happy as you can be.
I am still keeping my promise for Martain is here safe with me.
Dad is not doing to well as I know you see,
I sit and wonder what is next ? Is God going to take him from me.
Life is getting so hard Grandpa ,I am not sure at times if I can go on ?
I wish you were here to help me but I know you had to go home.
Gosh I wish you could wright me a letter or even a sign.
So you could tell me all is well and daddy will be just fine.
If you were here right now i would crawl in your lap and have you hold me tight,
I would give anything to feel you wiping my tears from my face and kissing me good night.
Grandpa I love you and so happy that your with grandma again,
But I miss you my dear old friend.
Grandpa - 1999
Well itís been three years to the date since you died.
If you only knew how I hurt for you and all the tears I have cried.
On this day the memories of your death become all so clear.
All we went through in the hospital and now your just not here.
The day will come when your sprit will be set free.
The only bad thing is when that happens it means death for me.
I have been promised we would be taken to our place.
The Indian Trail of Tears the name of it puts a smile upon my face.
I promised you a poem every year and today youíre sure on my mind.
For some reason this year the words to write are so hard to find.
As I sit here and try to remember youíre face, touch and your smell.
Like the past three years I want to go out and drunk as hell.
The pain I felt that day three years ago is still here as you can see.
I write these poems just to tell you how much you still mean to me.
Grandpa - 2000
Well here we are again my friend another four yours has flown bye,
I am still on earth and you in home in the sky.
All week long, I have been sad and down for I know I must again face this day,
I have to think of pain and turmoil we went threw until God took you away.
As the end of October, tumbles on in I start to cry for that I hate that I lost my friend,
As I long I live here on this earth I will hurt and long for
you grandpa until the very end.
My Anthony has had a hard time with your death for he also lost his one and only ravioli grandpa,
Your can of ravioli from the funeral is still by your urn you would be so proud he is so tall.
Remember when you sat an watched baby Curtis ball baseball, you should see him in football he is so good,
As I sit an watch him I think of all you have missed and of course am as proud of him as any mother could.
Destiny as grown into a beautiful young lady, I could kill her at times but I know she will be fine.
Grandpa, I just want you know you are on mind .
When I look up into the sky tonight, I will make a wish upon a star,
That I did all the right decision I made on right choices at the time of death and that you are where you want to be.
I canít say your death will get any easier on me but I promise I will try and that I still miss you more than anyone will ever see.