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Camp Will Hogan

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Paducah, KY, US

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Rambles

by

Camp Will Hogan

Many dances against the wall.
Flowered, pinned up, starting to fall,
When you stand in the sea of remorseful years.
So, it comes down and succumbs to this?
This one, this only last kiss?
Why did I ever choose this road?
Make it home to my bed.
Some will wake up and find themselves dead.
Now, I cry for my friends gone by.
There's got to be something better.
Shouldn't have ever met her.
And the smell I hold so dear.
Perfume, the tree. We carved:
'I love you now and always.'
Damn this town. It's too much like her smile.
City streets, alleyways.
It's all too dark, this rusty cage.
Sometimes I'll rise above it all.
Well, I quit this race to live some yet.
I've never been remembered; don't let me forget.
Who's the writer of this play?
Once divided, now at war.
It appears it's gotten even worse.
Old friend, the battle's fought inside.
It was hard on me, not hard on you.
My body feels old, but is brand-new.
It's on the shelf, but feels so abused.
Injuries that never heal.
Hunger strikes for every meal.
Give it to those who really have to eat.
Need to rest, insomnia.
Alright back then, but it's wrong here of.
So, I guess I'll sleepwalk no more.
Finders, keepers, losers, weepers.
Hard to imagine life without those leeches.
You know, that saying is a lie.
Furthermore, we must open the doors.
Find the key, go inside, and explore.
Instead of sliding through the cracks beneath the floor.
When I was young I'd stay up late.
Watch the sun rise; what is my fate?
I guess some things never ever change.
Father, can't you do everything?
Now let's say knowledge is lacking;
I'm sorry I'm such a disappointment.
Transcendental.
Consequential.
I really can't say that I'm a fluent man.
My heart always aches of pain.
All my life, it's felt the same.
Longing for a place I've not yet earned.
And the children that I've met.
I've longed to be a part of it,
But the roll of Father has been reserved.

Relish the sunlight of this orb.
I've not seen the truth of sorts.
I only want what I can't have.
A friendly lady who I did meet,
Asked me to do a helpful deed.
After that, she gave me the second degree.
Now I know she treats me bad.
Need her more than I ever have.
Not the best of occupations.
Sells me these lies.
Sin corrupts my alibis.
She told me it was all worth the wait.
But that's enough about that story.
When it occurred, I was merely a boy.
You know, nothing's ever changed.
This bitter taste, the feeling that I quit.
So disturbing it impedes me so that,
I had to think of something sweet.
Clothes I wore, and clothes I wear.
Tattered shirts or jeans with tears.
Why should we be judged by anything but our souls?
My lips, they hold an innocence.
Part of it is deep within their kiss.
You could say, I've never gone an inch.
But now, you take a mile.
Might not have any style.
If you said I did, I'd assume you're lying.
Now and then I'll try and bend.
Wind up posing in the end.
We all imitate the perfect ones.
And should we dare,
Not even care.
Find ourselves alone once again.
It's all we got.
The darkness in the shot.
Could've married it more than once.
As you see, I've read up a bit,
But my research has only missed.
Now, I know M.Y.T.H. is just a myth.
My words, always not worth the trouble.
Don't mean to always mumble.
I guess I just got to keep on pushing in.
Your mind, clouded, and misleading.
Your heart, sad and bleeding.
For a love I'd love to give to you.
He'll always be there; never seems to care.
Why don't you lose him? Hey, I'll be there.
He's not worthy of your eyes.
They glow of blue.
Always show through,
The worst of all situations.
I'll make you laugh, and philosophy,
By truth will be the key.
Don't ever change more than you want.

We'd be great; don't hesitate.
Overcompensate; not simulate.
The only truth you know is lying.
Dandelions, not empty arms.
Romantic poems never caused no harm.
Hey, why don't you let your face shine on me?
Pocket the thought I wanted then.
Don't worry, I'll think of it again.
The touch, the feel, the effect.
Neglect my body and my mind.
Keep my heart, and I'll be fine.
You say you know of this feeling?
Trials and accusations,
Girl, you know I'm not ready facing,
Hold myself further in disapprobation.
This temple I see almost every day,
Will it forever taunt me there? Hey,
And if so, who will it love?
Broken hearts mend themselves.
Respected men won't tell you how they felt.
Cancerous disease of men in doubt.
What are they trying to prove?
What could they gain? What could I loose?
I'm sorry, but I'll stay here grounded.
I want to fly; to be your guy.
I'm not sly, but I've got eyes.
Think I know what's important in the word suffice.
True love doesn't want to let me breathe.
It seems my one and only need,
Is to get these broken wings up off the floor.
Feather of lead.
Paths I dare to tread.
Remarkable that these words still hit off the point.
Once wasn't a problem.
Twice, was not so often,
But once you got me going I couldn't stop.
Beauty needs the shadows.
Light needs dilatory marrow.
And a force lures the four together.
For the light has opposing dark.
Beauty to incendiaries and marred.
So different. 'Why'd God give us such discord?'
He keeps us humble. With clashing trouble.
Sorry if I burst your bubble.
But, it's not always complicated.
Reality dances around my head.
The footsteps it makes, so lightly tread.
Of coarse, I'm in over my head.
Dear sweet love,
I think I've seen enough,
Of a world that omits me time and time again.
Milk-white skin, I'm sinking in.
I think I see the sun around the bend.
Please darling, hold me tight to you.

Just for now,
I don't know how,
I got so lucky to meet you once more.
This time anew,
My heart swells as I spend it with you.
Am I in Heaven or just your favor?
I like your taste in music.
I like the way you move me.
I feel as if I'll be driven steady, wise, or insane.
Put up a fight,
Try with all your might.
I'll never let us grow apart.
I'll change, and be good.
Be with you as I should.
I'll take this piece of me for you.
Seasons come and then they go.
And the adoration would only grow.
You know, life's a funny thing.
I feel complete with you.
And you can expect me to stay true.
Darling, to you, and you alone.
But once again I've gone astray.
I've gotten sidetracked with what I meant to say.
I need to follow through as I've done many a times before.
Been real low.
Feel like I'm on the gallows pole.
I say, 'There's nowhere to go but up from here.'
And all the years,
Makes the pain swell up and sear.
Charred, yet seems bleaker to me now.
Now, that's a odd word.
It's almost overheard.
Because the present is when you're thinking about the past.
Life is funny when you're sad.
All the riches couldn't block out the bad.
And when it all comes down you're not so dispirited.
The matter now becomes clear.
The goal, to fight upcoming years.
And believe in God; love the life he's given you.
A blind man feels blessed.
While a deaf mute must confess:
He's felt cheated out of his mortal bliss.
As you or I, openly ask ourselves why.
And trouble the church for a try.
Yes, but with all those suffering.
Bear the melancholy gloom of today.
You know, the past is what has shaped,
Ourselves. Leads us along in a world gone astray.
Do unto ourselves.
Did not like what we felt.
A heartache which we never seem to cure.
In war, fathers bury their sons.
In perspective, I see affirmation.
In peace, sons bury their fathers.

Life is the honey.
Love is the gurney.
Which holds you close up off the mar.
We are all confined.
Tried and punished and tried.
Never to bring closure to the rise.
We are all slowly dying.
Of our constant state of dyeing.
A color once white, now pervaded in sin.
And we begin again.
Each day, every amen.
We encounter ourselves less and less.
Staying pure is not here,
Nor there, but somewhere.
Along the flowered hills of a town.
The eyes are the window to the soul.
Mine grasp dreams of snow,
And sky that I've swiped across before.
The mountains I've climbed.
The acquisitions I've been fined.
Have all been sought afoot alone.
I've been for seven long years.
In one glorified motion; he wears,
The clothes that were once mine.
Halves the love I was given.
He is my brother. We have sunk in.
Each other. He's growing up just like me.
We'd wake up early.
Stay up to tell stories.
Though I know not who he is.
It is hard to ask.
After wearing such an addictive mask.
What he'll do when I'm gone.
Dear God, hold him high.
I'll only hurt him; please help justify.
So that he may live his life and never drown.
In the wake of a world.
Stretch marks seem to keep sore.
The stretch of self-indulgence in the mind.
The use of human devices.
Pick us straight out of oppression and into crisis.
Weak will won't heal our aching bones.
It proceeds deep.
We have sin to seethe.
My heart is polluted of my enemy.
Desperate chances.
Hopeless romantics.
You see, no one is of one.
Sound body, sound mind.
Sound soul, not when you're confined.
We always spill over the dividers.
I'm simple and infectious.
Contagious to those who believe my exodus.
To go is to arrive without much change.

I grow weary.
And often times seem bleary.
Crowd the mind I find obscure.
Alien thoughts.
The cradle that I want to rock.
For the baby heavy with sleep inside.
Feeling of well-being.
I can finally start to see.
That my friends are my elation.
Comfort to my jaded hands.
Wage of war between the bands.
I never seemed quite to understand.
Awkward pauses.
Starving hearts and-
Something makes me feel different tonight.
You are defenseless.
Perfect for me to be with.
Rapture may be the case now in my haste.
No longer shattered.
In truth, I'm finally happy.
I'll leave my words for the wise and hard to please.
You only live so much.
Not everyone in this world can you touch.
And still saddened by their fall from grace,
But be spirited with who you are.
I know someday you'll be a star;
That angel wings will lightly grasp you in your ascent.
Devoted in your cause.
The world, I understand you and your odds.
We will celebrate, be that as it may.
We are apart from no one.
Together from the time that we were born.
Please, sleep now; close your eyes my little child.
Expect a new day.
A brand new way.
Achieved by those who have had the same face all along.
Stop the violence,
These merciless events;
Hence why I've began this parade.
It's time for us to change.
Grow together as we interlace.
Our passion will support our values upon their thrones.
I'm sure I'll see it happen.
We will not be responsible for our actions.
This is what everyone longs for; to not condone.


In Love

by

Camp Will Hogan

I'd stay, but I've got a long day...
Said a long day up ahead...
I'd light the 16th candle unless...
That's not what you meant...
I'd stand arms outstretched...
Cause I'm free to roam...
But I've got a ways...
Said a long way to go...

Now no better way to be...
This is no way to live...
No way to make a difference...
Now no way to live...

Yield to me all your thoughts...
Said all thoughts of love...
You'd turn towards me and...
All I'd do is shrug...
So believe you me, I...
Think I know where I stand...
No longer overpowered...
By my state and my own stance...

Now no better way to be...
This is no way to live...
No way to make a difference...
Now no way to live...

And I'm in love. And I'm in love. And I'm in love.


Reflecting Through a Dirty Piece of Glass

by

Camp Will Hogan

Through the eyes of fringe... and days offered alone... To the embers of love... and red harboring...
Caged birds & rusty hands... Lost feelings... all are opened now.
It's a free trip... on a road made of gold... Fixate on streets... or savor the tow...
No time to save up... to safeguard your life... Got to get to living or leave it behind...
There's an angel who cried... there's a willow who laughed... I never heard of a cat that don't meow...
Null and void... we're fresh out of luck... You go just the same... never believed in that stuff...
Some day we will... quit carrying on... Money won't matter when we're gone...
And battles in buildings... never unleashed... Outcome comes out... the girl decides to leave...
Onto a path... tired and worn... Don't worry, someone's been there before...
A solemn man was strangled, murdered by fear... A happier one just disappeared...
And the one that died quicker... out of the two... Couldn't have known any truths in a few...
So caged birds & unrusted hands... Have locked themselves up and shut themselves down...
Through the fire of love... and pacific calm... To the looking-glass mirror... and days taken along...


There Used to be Something Between Us

by

Camp Will Hogan

There used to be a love,
And a hand would always be filled.
And I remember that day.
There used to be an us,
And we could speak our mind.
And I remember that well.
There used to be a frequency,
And we would always laugh.
And I'm not sad,

There used to be something between us.

Used to be something to show,
And it always made sense.
Wouldn't take 1,000 years to know:
We used to have a good time,
And always would.
Just like a bad time,
It'd be a game.
And the people above us,
They wouldn't care,
But sooner or later,
They would be there.
And to be the best that I could,
I'd fill their hands as I should.
And I'm not sad,

There used to be something between us.
There used to be someone for me.


My People

by

Camp Will Hogan

If you don't want to be saved
You don't have to die
If you don't want to be brought down
You don't have to get real high
If you can't see what I mean
It doesn't make you blind
If you don't want to tell me
You don't have to lie

And if they want to fly, let them hit the ground
And if they want to die, be sure to see them when you can

If you don't feel freer now
Doesn't mean you're confined
If this doesn't make you smile
You don't have to deny
If you don't tell me where you go
You don't need an alibi
If you don't care about this at all
You don't have to try

You are my people, you are my people
You are my people, you are my people

If it feels I've let you down
Let me pick you up
And just because you've done real good
It doesn't mean it's luck
And just because it doesn't move
It doesn't make it stuck
And just cause you can't change the world
It doesn't mean it's not

You are my people, you are my people
You are my people, you are my people


What a Girl

by

Camp Will Hogan

She only loves you when you're not around
Yeah, she only loves you
She only loves you when you're not around
Yeah, she'll pull you through

You walk on down
You don't talk back now
And don't you frown
Head up, but heart down
It's all so confusing

I said you ought to get some sleep
Here, have some coffee
Now get in bed
Mind what I said
Good-night

She only loves you when you're not around
Yeah, but she loves you
She only loves you when you're not around
Yeah, but she'll still pull you through

And you walk on down
You don't talk back now
And don't sleep on the ground
In bed, I'll put you down
It's all so tiring

I think you ought to get some food
Eat? Well, I'm not in the mood
Now get to work
Don't walk in the dirt
She'll say

She only loves you when you're not around
She loves you now
She only loves you when you're not around
She loves you down

She loves you down
She loves you down


In Disguise

by

Camp Will Hogan

In my coat, in my shoes, in my soul I pray to lose
stuttering, biting down, I lost something I never found
tell myself I'm living low, when it all is just for show
falling dreams, hope fading, I'm taking you down with me this time

I'm taking you down with me

your waning anger, in your room, I know I've come too soon
masquerade, hidden hate, it seems it's kin to tempt fate
Memories, a haunting face, head down in disgrace
Shut the door, etched and burnt, I'm the dirt beneath your foot

Beneath your foot


Leaving You

by

Camp Will Hogan

I'll be holding you to letting go.
I'll be thinking of the times we've had to show.
And I've lifted your head.
Wrote the letter that read:
If I ever go,
I don't want to go alone.

Oh, I'm leaving here.
Oh, I am leaving here.

So don't you cry over our last kiss.
I don't want you to. I'll make it my last wish.
Okay, fine be that way.
I'll still remember the birthday candles on your cake.
And if I fall,
Don't let me fall at all.

Oh, I'm leaving here.
Oh, I am leaving here.

And I'm sane only when I've gone mad.
And I'm gone only when I am near.
And I am right only when I am wrong,
So I am leaving, leaving here!

Oh, I'm leaving here.
Oh, I am leaving here.


Whispered Wishes

by

Camp Will Hogan

I wish I was accepted.
It seems it's been too long.
I wish I was special.
Then I could be strong.
I wish I was an ornament.
To symbolize unity.
I wish I had a thousand lies.
All that I could keep.
I wish I had a steady rhythm.
Something to show off.
I wish I was at peace.
For someone to tell me to stop.
I wish I was a reflection.
Seldom seen anymore.
I wish I were the fireworks.
Beautiful down to the core.
I wish I took a heartfelt fall.
Sympathy surrounds.
I wish I was a pretty face.
Not the same background.
I wish I was a radio.
A song that I had made.
I wish I was good at something.
Perhaps then I could create.
I wish I was a great novel.
And someone who it would read.
I wish I was most defined.
As the mighty redwood tree.
I wish I was a diver.
And all my scores were ten.
I wish I bought a diamond ring.
Something for me to give.
I wish I was a paper crane.
Written on in Japanese.
I wish I could speak with God.
Alone and on my knees.
I wish I lived up in the clouds.
Lowly lit above.
I wish I'd soar and fly the skies.
The free-spirit of a dove.
I wish I had a dollar.
For all my cups of tea.
I wish I saw the first looks.
Of boat wreck debris.
I wish I was a jigsaw piece.
And that I would always fit.
I wish I was there when Jesus died.
Probably my fault that he did.
I wish I worked a humble shift.
A loving family.
I hope my daughter will have it made.
We're talking all the benefits.
I wish my life was so great.
I would take a walk.
The mountain belt up ahead.
I would be on top.
I wish the breeze would strike my face.
A cool flat-topped mist.
Last quarter of the game.
The shot I wouldn't miss.
I wish I had a sailing ship.
Float through out the cove.
I wish I'd dance right on the beach.
Then I'd turn and bow.
I wish more than the average boy.
Cause that is what I'm not.
I wish I felt the least of sorts.
No repetition.
I wish I couldn't look back.
The past; it's not so bad.
I wish I was set to time.
Without this deemed jet-lag.
I wish a boat that's run by me.
Would crash just for kicks.
I wish I was a captain.
Loved and not deep-sixed.
I wish I was everybody.
Everywhere and everything.
I wish I was quite inspiring.
Reverent and could sing.
I wish I was the future's son.
And watched on the TV.
I wish I had scaled Mount Everest.
And someone who was waitin' for me.


Bedroom Boredom

by

Camp Will Hogan

A burden is burned
To begin being:
Brindle blinder,
Complaint compliant.
A cruiser curries
To Cupid's cuspid.
Cures curse.
Love, Satin, Saint.


Reborn

by

Camp Will Hogan

So they say they'd like to get back at you.
Well by now you should know it's true.
They say you've gone off your beat.
They say you had better watch your feet.
And it really makes you scared.
That all you're doing is getting nowhere.
Well I bet you never thought you'd feel how your feeling now.

Get yourself alone.
Get yourself free.
Get yourself control.
Get yourself to see.

You shuffled past a crowded place on the street.
The word is out that you've lost your water wings.
You swore you'd never lose to those early days.
But here you are in a wake of haze.
And I bet you'd like to tell yourself.
That everything you've done is good and well.
But I wonder if you've ever felt the way your feeling now.

Get yourself twofold.
Get yourself in bed.
Get yourself sold.
Getting yourself dead.

And all the walls are twisting and turning.
The sun baths the ground blinding and burning.
And all around the heroes are falling.
The get away is slowly but surely stalling.

Get yourself afraid.
Get yourself forlorn.
Get yourself remade.
Get your self reborn.


We Will Find Our Way

by

Camp Will Hogan

In a state of disillusion. Many look in confusion.
Have-Benz roam the streets for scraps of bread.
I got nothing but the voices inside my head.
I know we all hear whispers, a maze of our own creation.
Sometimes it gets to me, yet I know I'd rather front than force it down.
Sacrifice the words that have no meaning; no help; I'll do this by myself.
Behaving as an animal, with which I would hide, and stay back.
And if there ever was a way, I'd take back what I said.
Once at peace. Find the peace inside yourself.
Cause Have-Benz are a bizarre culture in themselves.
Never aiming with what a dissident can attach.
Resort to the light above, but mistakes will adhere.
It has happened before; Bites the hand which once was feared.

But it's all just entertainment. If they can't ship in, ship out.
No one's locked the cage or found the will to get out.
Until now. Until we've had our fun. Our chance to be glorified. Our chance is soon to
Come.

Morning strikes the burnt out party. Early risers drink that which remains.
Once I had control of myself, but the bold and strong must someday loose their names.
After life as a child, a new one stands tall.
Stepping up to the challenge, I know I won't change things. No not at all.

But it's all just entertainment. If they can't ship in, ship out.
Nothing's left inside this empty cage, turned inside out.
Trust me; I've been here before. Hear my calls; I've been here.

Believe in the voice inside my head.
We will find a place.
Believe in the voice inside my head.
We will find a way.


December

by

Camp Will Hogan

Oh, and it's one more nail in the coffin.
Yeah, it's one door I could stand to shut.
But it's close to me like you.
And I can't feel much.

Oh, it'll be one long December.
And that's one more chance to go back again.
Oh, it'll be one long December.
And it'll be that way again.

Well, out here, I am sitting.
Thinking I'm locked and stocked.
Now how can I do that?
Sleep as though I'm dreaming for something,
A little better than what I got?

Oh, it'll be one long December.
And that's one less chance to come back again.
Oh, and it'll be one long December.
That I will never see again.
Oh, it'll be one of those Decembers.
And I'm a bondsman to you again.
Oh, the longest December.
And I want to go outside again.

But it's still December.
It's still a December.

And I'm happy I can say now,
"It's the ides of a long December."
And I'm still sitting here thinking,
"Mr. Forgotten I will remember."
And the months may mouth a season.
And the seasons side with the years.
And the years go hand in hand with the seasons.
Which go along for the ride outside.

But it's still December.
It's still that ole December.