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Faye Hoffman

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Ketchikan, AK, US

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Pictures of My Past

by

Faye Hoffman

A tattered bag,
from long ago.
Hidden back,
and not for show.

Tucked behind,
an old bookcase.
In a dusty pile,
in needless space.

Through rows of tape,
and old design.
With shaky hands,
I look inside.

Tied with a ribbon,
my memories amassed.
Just some weathered photos.
Three pictures of my past.

One of a Father,
whose face has faded black.
A man I can't remember.
That's never coming back.

A brother and a sister,
that I will never see.
Two familiar people who,
keep looking back at me.

On a cracked and folded paper,
one image always lasts.
The one of my mother.
The broken picture of my past.

I'll put my memories back together.
Tie the ribbon once again.
Hide my hurt inside this tattered bag.
Where my heart has always been.


My Fathers Shoes

by

Faye Hoffman

Since I was a youngster,
somehow I always knew.
What my Father expected from me.
I knew what I had to do.

The first thing that I learned,
was how to drink,and how to fight.
Laboring before the sun came up,
repossessing in the night.

Burning houses for insurance,
out collecting moneys due.
Taught how to hide the profits,
from drugs,and crooks,and booze.

Lessons teaching hatred,
revenge,blackmail,and sin.
Learning how to step into,
his World,as next of kin.

First born in the family.
I didn't get to choose.
Taking over family business.
Walking in my Fathers shoes.


Face Of Endless Pain

by

Faye Hoffman

I lie here in the darkness.
The walls are closing in.
The shadows share an emptiness,
I've chose to live within.

If only I could close my eyes,
and drift on clouds up high.
But darkness is the soul that cries,
he feeds your will to die.

Sinking down into this wall,
I grasp for something real.
But he's the one,who makes the call,
in the night,when time stands still.

Once again,as morning nears,
the shadows still remain.
I'll try and break these frozen tears,
from my face of Endless pain.


Looking Back

by

Faye Hoffman

Looking back,I can't remember,
ever needing anyone.
Memories of my childhood,
now are dead and gone.

I can't say my heart's not heavy.
These tears I've always fought.
Your face,I can remember.
But any love,I have forgot.

Our life has different chapters.
Each past starts to unfold.
They map out our existance.
In our hands,our fate,we hold.

Looking back,I think that maybe,
somethings should be lost.
Hidden in a page of History,
sparing hearts at any cost.


Staircase of Memories

by

Faye Hoffman

I climb up to the shelter,
of a space between the wall.
The staircase of my memories.
A place that's dark and small.

Where no single soul can find me.
A room noone else can see.
Hidden from the outside world,
in a place,where I am free.

To escape from disappointments,
when the world has left me cold.
There I go to hide my sorrows,
and reminisce some days of old.

Come share with me my memories,
from a time so long ago.
Safely stored above the stairway,
overhead,but deep below.


The Mirror

by

Faye Hoffman

Look into the mirror.
Look hard and you will see.
Who is the reflection?
Is the reflection me?

Get close up to the mirror.
Look hard throughout your eyes.
Past shapes and resemblences,
past the old disguise.

What is the truth,
what do you see?
Who is the monster?
Is it still me?

Who is the Father,
who has made me?
Who is the reflection,
of what you now see?

I look into the mirror,
and guess who I see?
It's now your reflection,
staring back at me.


The Lesson

by

Faye Hoffman

The day I went to prison,
for something I had to do.
The Judge yelled out hard labor.
What I heard could not be true.

I guess two years don't seem like much,
when it's not you behind this wall.
All I had to have was money,
and the Judge would have made a different call.

Got a letter from my sister.
Did you learn your lesson,Faye?
As I tore into the paper,
that's when I walked away.

I know what you're going to tell me.
You think I haven't heard it all before?
I want you to tell me the reason,
go ahead and tell me what for.

I went down to St. Gabriel,
and when I walked out of that door.
You can bet I learned a lesson,
but not the one I went down for.


Throw Away Child

by

Faye Hoffman

There was a black cloud over Texas,
the day that I was born.
The Doctor told my mother,
she's in trouble,he did warn.

Momma thought it over.
She knew that he was right.
Nobody wants a sick child.
She just kept me out of spite.

My Father came and found me.
He had his reasons too.
But only for a short time.
He had other things to do.

Many houses,many homes.
Different faces,all in a row.
They look you over,they want to see.
They want a child,it won't be me.

Many houses,many homes,
different places,I'm on the run.
Hiding in the dark,hiding in the light.
Looking over my shoulder,
staying out of sight.

Unwanted and unloved.
A child out in the cold.
Abandoned,confused,and lost.
Only thirteen years old.

Just a throw away child.
That's the name by which I'm known.
Alone,looking,and wandering,
through life where I'm alone.

Learning how to live,
in a world to you unknown.
A monster on ever corner.
You meet them on your own.

You're a throw away child.
You have demons you can't kill.
Through your lifetime,
an aching you can't fill.

Nothing left inside you,
nothing you can feel.
Just a sort of anger,
that can never,ever heal.

The throw away child,easy to recognize.
In the prisons,on the streets,
homeless shelters,who we mistreat.
The Throw Away Child.


On The Edge

by

Faye Hoffman

I've always been right on the edge.
Jumping at shadows within.
Afraid of falling apart.
Running a race I can't win.

Walking forward,but still left behind.
Searching for words I can't find.
Confused by the steps I am taking.
Looking through glasses that blind.

Each time I try to stand tall,
with my back against this wall,
but I'm always running on empty,
waiting for the next time I fall.

I know that I can never,
escape from this broken ledge.
For no matter which way I turn,
I'll always be right on the edge.


Can't Win for Losing You

by

Faye Hoffman

I told myself,it can't be true.
I bet my friends that we were through.
How I was better,after all.
I won the bet,but lost it all.

Now I can't win,for losing you.
Pretending that I'm glad we're through.
Can't really tell them,what is true.
That I am nothing without you.

Lost everything,
for all my fun.
My friends are gone,
my life undone.

I did it all,
It's all my fault.
I'll pay the cost,
no matter what.

Never thought that I could lose.
Never thought, that I'd lose you.
Now I see that I was wrong.
I lost it all,when I lost you.


Angry

by

Faye Hoffman

I'm so angry,
I'm going mad.
I'm coming to get you.
It's going to be bad.

I've waited too long,
I'm out of control.
My anger has shifted,
taken over my soul.

Deep hate and hunger,
for what I feel is due.
It's time for you to pay,my friend.
Revenge now follows you.

Strength burns to my fingertips.
A fire in my eyes.
Moments of insanity,
I cleverly disguise.

Life and death collided.
Nothing left inside.
Just anger,hate,and vengence.
Psychotic suicide.


Man

by

Faye Hoffman

At the edge of the forest,
where civilization ends.
Man can go no further,
nature hurts and it defends.

Footprints now behind us,
where evolution once began.
A curse upon our Mother Earth.
We're the disease upon this land.

To the East now we are facing.
Spreading ruin upon the ground.
With each step that we are taking,
we seed destruction all around.

Overpopulating,
as we eat upon the land.
Hunger and disease surround us.
What happened to the great plan?


The Tree like me

by

Faye Hoffman

Like the healthy tree,
that once was.
The hardness of the wind,
has also beat upon it's back.
The rain and cold,
bends and strips its leaves.
The outer skin begins to crack.
The struggle to reach,
for life and nourishment,
makes it weaken from the strain.
Then the time comes,
so as to be replaced.
It plays it's part,
for others to remain.
So like the tree,
when the last leaves fall off,
you'll know also I am gone.


The Judges Son

by

Faye Hoffman

One August night,
in a small Texas town.
I'll never forget wat happened.
I'm sure of what they found.

I shouldn't have ever been there.
Should have done what I was told.
But once it all got started,
there was no place I could go.

I don't know how I got there.
There was a lot of drinking going on.
Everyone was a little crazy,
doing drugs,and smoking pot.

Wasn't sure what was really happening.
Didn't realize why we were there.
All gathered in an open field,
in the middle of nowhere.

I saw them drag him from the trunk,
he was bleeding from his head.
He was tied up at his hands and feet.
Crying,because he knew he was dead.

Fear overcame me.
I didn't know what to do.
There was so many of them,
and one of me,and suddenly I knew.

Just what was fixing to happen,
when Ray pulled out the gun.
But the one thing that I didn't know,
was that he was the Judges son.

Accessory before the fact.
That is what they'll say.
Accessory after the fact,
is what I live with everyday.

I wish I had told someone.
It's too late,and I know it's not right.
I'll just have to live with the memory,
of what happened that August night.


Can't Fix My Heart

by

Faye Hoffman

What do I do,
when love is not true,
and I know that my heart,
will be broken into?

What do I say,
how do I start.
To ease this misery,
and fix my broken heart?

What can fix a heart,
when love walks away?
What can make it right?
What will make it stay?

The tears of a heartache,
burn deep in your soul.
Rips you to pieces,
then pain takes control.

Can't heal the wounds.
Can't fix a heart,
that's shattered in pieces,
and torn all apart.

So tell me.

How do I mend,
when will it end?
Where do I start,
to fix my broken heart?


Wish I could go Home

by

Faye Hoffman

Wish I could go home.
Wish things could be the same,
before my times of trouble.
I know I'm the one to blame.

I've always been searching,
moving from town to town.
Looking for a place to settle.
Somewhere to put roots down.

I can never go home,
because of what I've done.
Familiar sights and faces.
Loved ones who now are gone.

Memories of long ago,
starting to fade to black.
I wish things could be different.
But there's no going back.

Everything's forgotten.
Time is passing by.
The only thing they remember,
the crime,for which I was tried.

Wish I could go back.
Wish I could have stayed.
What I did in that one moment,
wasn't worth the price that I've paid.


Church Lady

by

Faye Hoffman

An overpopulation,
of do-gooders who constantly moan.
They amaze me with their ignorance.
Hypocrites to the bone.

A never ending sermon,
of something they don't know.
A nagging repetition,
not learned,but what they're told.

It's a one-sided religion,
from the mouths of those who stone.
A costly competition.
The World they want to own.

Lacking in redemption,
all are sinful souls.
Preaching all around us,
rehearsed at playing roles.

Damned by their own arrogance,
drowning in human sin.
They'll pay for their indiscretions,
in the fire of the devils den.


Dear Brother

by

Faye Hoffman

You thought that I'd forget,
it's been so long ago.
The pain that you put on me,
that I can't let go.

Haunted fom the memory,
of how you hurt me so.
The anguish that you caused me,
you'll never,ever know.

For me,it will always be there,
how could I not remember?
Since I'm reminded by the scars,
each time I look into the mirror.

I know you are my brother.
It's the reason you are free.
When we were kids,I loved you.
How could you do this to me?

Scars don't really matter.
It's the scar upon my heart.
Knowing the brother that I loved,
in this crime,did play a part.

I forgive him for what he's done,
although,I will never forget.
For every slash that he stabbed me,
the pain hasn't ended yet.


Life

by

Faye Hoffman

We're all here,
from a natural habit.
Evolution in progress,
like a breeding rabbit.

Swimming in a river,
of a toxic mixed race.
Bubbling,creative growth,
at a slow snail pace.

From the craters of hell,
she has given birth.
To eat upon the waste,
that's layed out on the Earth.

Fighting for the breath,
that's keeping us alive,
killing to get on top,
diseased and dieing.

Constant reproduction,
constant dieing.
Brought up on the land,
where everything is lying.

Man and Earth combined,
we are all the same.
A relative of nature.
From where we all came.


Wilted Flowers

by

Faye Hoffman

Same old house,
same old room.
Dusty floors,
the smell of doom.

Wilted flowers,
on the wall.
A picture of,
what we've become.

Weathered storms,
of years gone by.
Just passing time,
until goodbye.

Forgotten love,
and feelings lost.
Too tired to talk,
too late to cry.

Wilting flowers,
we are all.
We wait our turn,
for that last call.

Faded memories,
left for some.
Others pray,
for theirs to come.


Being

by

Faye Hoffman

Life's a dream,
it doesn't mean a thing.
Where only here by chance.
Just that moment of being.

Time is unaccountable,
we don't know when it ends.
Don't know when it started,
can't predict anything,can't depend.

Given names,so we are counted.
To have a place,where we belong.
Grasping on to anything,
for our lives to be prolonged.

But the truth is,
that by chance,
we are here,
like the land and plants.

Born from the ground.
Made from the sea.
Implanted by Nature.
A part of the scene.


Losing My Mind

by

Faye Hoffman

I wake up to the ringing,
of my alarm clock by the bed.
I open my eyes to another day,
and all I feel is dread.

Then I start crying,
for no reason I can find.
It feels like I'm dieing,
feels like I'm losing my mind.

Floating through this life,
in a comatose state.
I find I can't remember,
the day or date.

I'm losing my mind.
I can feel myself break.
Confused by the dreams,
that cause me to wake.

I open my eyes.
That's when I go blind.
Lost in lifes madness,
losing my mind.


Just like Yesterday

by

Faye Hoffman

Seems like it was,
just yesterday.
Couldn't wait to escape,
from my youth and play.

All the endless days,
of life and love.
Never saw an end,
thought I'd always be young.

The years have gone by,
with no cares or worries.
I could wait for tomorrow,
to start lifes stress and hurries.

But I look into the mirror.
The years I can see.
I've waited too long,
no more yesterdays for me.

It seems just like yesterday,
when the world was mine.
I had strength and I had youth,
and I had nothing but time.

Yesterday's gone,
I feel pain and sorrow.
No longer young or strong,
no more foolish tomorrows.

Just like yesterday,
another day just passes by.
Watching everything ending.
Afraid of saying goodbye.

Longing for the days,
when we laughed and when we played.
Looking for those things,
that only come from yesterday.


Getting Old

by

Faye Hoffman

I'm afraid of getting old.
Afraid of stories,I've been told.
The things of youth,that used to be,
the love we've known,no longer free.

Forgotten years,forgotten tears.
Nothing left,but a life filled with fears.
Days turn into hours,life now takes it's toll.
Thngs are soon forgotten,from the years that time has stole.

With time gone by,we look upon,
our past mistakes,and all that's gone.
Trapped inside an ancient tomb,
afraid to look into the mirror of doom.


My Mark

by

Faye Hoffman

Here today and gone tomorrow.
A life of pain,of guilt,and sorrow.
Nothing to show for all my life.
Just working and paying,struggle and strife.

Time is running out,soon it will be dark.
What do I do in this World,
for me to leave my mark?

Is it not enough,that I am part of all,
this Universe has made,of creatures big and small?
Brought here for a reason,somehow I play a part.
A contribution to society,although my days are short.

Everyone has a purpose,on this Earth,
the day they're born.
As much as the waters and skies,
or even the roses thorn.

Grown from the Earth,a part of the Universe,
in no certain order,where noone comes first.
We are all alike,the animals,plants,and man.
From the same mother,we all come,
all a part of the land.


Awakened

by

Faye Hoffman

As evolution takes it's course,mankind learns from sin.
Humanity plants the seed,for civilization to begin.
Teaching good from bad,of evil we are warned,
a land that's now divided,the Earth has been reborn.

Ignorance feeds the saintly,evil stands apart.
Searching for the weak man,to deliver his praise of sorts.
Tears fall down around us,as ages pass us by.
Searching for our purpose,asking ourselves why.

Reaching for the Heavens,praying to our God.
To heal our pain and suffering,
but does anyone respond?

Are we just men of seasons?
From this land did we all wake?
From what perfection did we come from,
or were we just a mistake?


End of the Road

by

Faye Hoffman

Walking to a point,where you no longer see.
At the end of the road there,waiting just for me,
is the book of my life,notes written very neat.
All coverd in ashes,on the ground,beside my feet.

A list of the kindnesses,upon people I've bestowed.
A copy of the payments,I payed to all I owed.
There's a record of the deeds,in my life that I've performed.
Pictures of the people,that I may have harmed.

A safely guarded ledger,my life in it is told.
Waiting for the reader,to access the facts,it holds.
A witness to my actions,a Judge who's quick to scold.
The one who decides my worthiness,at the end of the road.


Scars on my Heart

by

Faye Hoffman

There's a pain here in my heart,
and it never goes away.
It's there as a reminder,
I feel the hurt most everyday.

A constant aching in my chest,
a shade of blue around my heart.
Heavy bleeding on the inside,
I'm wounded to the core.

It weighs on me in such a way,
I'm crippled from inside.
Broken down and bitter,
an ugliness,I hide.

Wounds that will not heal,
from my many battled wars.
No medals have I won,
just a heart that's full of scars.


The Hangover

by

Faye Hoffman

The pounding in my head,
reminds me where I've been again.
My body's in great pain,
and then the room begins to spin.

I roll over to the clock,
that's telling me it's three p.m.
I strain to grab a cigarette,
and feel the nausea kick in.

I guess I showed you.
I drank all night,
to get you off my mind,
but these days now I find.

That the hurt in this bottle,
that I'm holding on so tight,
cannot fill the emptiness,
can't ever make things right.

But I'll do it like before.
The same reasons,the same rhyme.
Drinking my pain away,
getting over you in time.

So just for today,I can say,
I won't think of you again.
Because I've found the cure,
the hangover always wins.


It's only a poem,it's not me

by

Faye Hoffman

I can say,with elegance,
historic words of reminisce,
or maybe grunts of arrogance,
but it's only a poem,it's not me.

I can write life beautiful,
create new words of jubilee.
Pregnate it like you want to hear,
but it's only a poem,it's not me.

I can tell you kindly truths,
pretend,remake,or just take notes.
Even whisper a thought in your ear.
But it'only a poem,it's not me.

This pen writes words to those I choose.
My soul inscribed,is not for use.
So read or not,is up to you.
Because it's only a poem,it's not me.


This Kind Of Pain

by

Faye Hoffman


I feel some kind of pain,
an aching I can't explain.
It hurts me everywhere,
and it won't go away.

No kind of medicine,
can ease the way I feel.
No special remedies,
can ever make me well.

It's not that kind of pain.
This pain won't go away.
It's something deep inside,
that's surely going to stay.

A wound that cannot heal,
with time maybe it will.
But for a while you'll see,
what this pain has done to me.

It's that kind of pain.
The kind that always remains.
Behind a broken heart,
the pain of love,that kind of pain.


About Hurt

by

Faye Hoffman

Let me tell you about hurt.
Listen close,so you will learn.
It's hard to write this kind of pain.
That comes from love,that kind of pain.

The scars it left,show on my face.
Some are buried in a deeper place.
Afraid to love,can't help myself.
I try to laugh,but break down instead.

I'll take a drink,so I won't think.
I'll take some pills,so I can sleep.
I feel the hurt,I feel the pain.
I got it bad,don't you agree?

Wake to the sadness,
once again,
from what loves hurt,
has done to me.

Let me tell you about hurt.
Come much closer,so I'll be heard.
This shell you see,what used to be,
is just a face,time didn't set me free.


Lost

by

Faye Hoffman


Somewhere deep inside my mind,
I'm lost between reality and time.
No mirrors cast my weakened smile.
No flowers bloom,clouds damn the sky.

My thoughts confused,from memories.
I'm lost inside a painful dream.
Where yesterdays cause old heartaches.
Today I'll wake and feel the same.

Holding on to distant fears,
holding back,forever tears.
Making my mind see things untrue.
Keeping me from loving you.


Asleep

by

Faye Hoffman

I closed my eyes,while counting sheep.
I fell into a frightful sleep.
Colors flew across my mind.
Rivers drowned the lands and skies.
All alone I fought to rise.
Winds pushed me back to other times.
Where dragons flew above the fires,
screeching lightning,way up high.
No human voice,no birds in flight.
No sunlight here,just foglit night.
From far away,the barren lands,
show traces of a life once found.
But mighty reds,now cover all,
mixed with tools of death and spoil.
Must wake myself from craters deep.
I have to escape fom this demon sleep.


He Never Knew

by

Faye Hoffman

You'll never know just how I feel.
What I've been through,
it hurts me still.

The years of pain you put me through,
the smile that's gone,
because of you.

My life's on hold,my heart is black.
There's nothing left,
I can't go back.

My heart's ripped out,from what you stole.
Lies from your mouth,
my name you stoned.

You'll never know,just what it means.
To hear your name,
I want to scream.

With every line of, I love you,
you crucified me,
made me bleed.

But you don't know about these things.
Your only friend,
is death and greed.

Forgotten eyes,forgotten faces.
Just worried about,
your found out disgraces.

He looked right at me.
Even so,
It was me,he didn't even know.


Before Morning Comes

by

Faye Hoffman



It seems that once upon a time,
was just like yesterday.
Tonight I'll start all over.
By morning,you'll have gone away.

I'll close my eyes,escape into,
the darkness until light.
Rush through the door,of what was before,
and pass between the night.

And before the morning comes,
I should be over you.
Dreaming away a lifetime,
all my memories too.

Taking you all alone,
in the back of my mind.
Forgetting about you and I.
Leaving our love behind.


Friday Night

by

Faye Hoffman

It's Friday night in Oklahoma,
and we're headed out the door.
Going to the dance club,
can't wait to hit the floor.

Dancing until morning,
kicking it all night long.
Yelling to the D.J.,
to play my favorite song.

Keith is on his eighteenth beer.
Faye is playing pool.
The boys are fighting in the hall.
Nicole is just plain cool.

I'll finish my tequilla,
fight my way up to the bar.
Yell out for a bodyguard,
so I can get one more.

Crawl back to the table,
over Junior on the floor.
Try to find my money,
because they've yelled,last call.

Gather up the bodies,
carry them to the car.
Cause Saturday is coming,
and we'll be back for more.


Hiding

by

Faye Hoffman

What kind of life,
do you think you live,
when your life is almost over,
and there's nothing left to give?

Constantly changing,
never to blame.
Looking behind you,
still doing the same.

Always hiding in fear,
not knowing anyone.
Watching and waiting,
until the darkness is gone.

Chasing a ghost,
that you can't kill.
Chasing a past,
that's not even real.

It's a high price that you're paying,
for your sins of long ago.
Captured in a trap of your own making.
By a ghost that won't let go.


I Take it Back

by

Faye Hoffman

I said my vows,
I gave my word.
Till death,I said.
I know,I heard.

I gave you love,
I gave you more.
You were my world,
don't know what for.

I take it back,
now I don't care.
What vows I made,
I'm out of there.

My taxi's here,
my bags are packed.
I change my mind.
I take it back.

I take it back,my name,my life.
You owe me that.
As for all the other things,
you keep it all,I won't be back.


Voices

by

Faye Hoffman

There's a whisper in the wind.
Familiar voices,that I hear.
Mountains call my name.
The clear skies disappear.

Seasons pass unnoticed,
and the days turn into night.
Time no longer matters,
my life,no longer mine.

Still alive,but barely breathing.
Lingering in total despair.
The Heavens lay before me.
I must walk upon the air.

Spirits from the past,
keep calling out to me.
Not asking,but demanding,
that I set their souls free.

I ask myself the question,
why me,where do I belong.
That I should have to be the one,
to pay for deathless souls?

Sleepless nights disrupted,
by the screaming in my head.
They're there each time I slumber,
telling me that I am dead.


Hurting Thing

by

Faye Hoffman

I let you walk all over me.
Loved you so much,would do anything.
You knocked me down,made a fool of me.
You stole my heart,never heard my plea.

Here comes the hurt,raining down on me.
Hit's me when I'm lonely,this pain won't let me be.
This misery is killing me,stop the hurt,please set me free.

Here comes the hurt back through my door.
What's wrong with me,why do I want more?
This hurt has got a hold on me.
Love you so much, that I can't see.

Here comes the hurt,here comes the pain.
I'll let you in,must be insane.
I need help,can't do anything.
Can't stop myself,it's a hurting thing.


How High Can You Fly?

by

Faye Hoffman

Some people have,some people don't.
Some people give,some people won't.
People like you,living it high,
with no thoughts of another,as long as you get by.

Making your way in life,from the sweat of other men.
Never give,just take.
Then do it all again.

At the present time,you think you're flying high.
Think you have it all,living nothing but a lie.
Never think about tomorrow,living only for today.
Buying your way through life,never having to pay.

How high can you fly,
when you're under the ground.
What money will you have,to spread all around?

To buy what you will,and buy who you want.
Drowning in your greed,it all comes back to haunt.
If it doesn't get you now,it will get you when,
you think that you are flying high,then it will begin.

No man will ever free himself,from any of his sins.
Life has a way,of making you pay.
Time always wins.


Misery

by

Faye Hoffman

You walk by,and I can't see.
My eyes are blurred,my knees go weak.

It's just because I need some sleep
I don't care what my friends all think.

I make it home,search for my key.
Know what the night,for me will bring.

Misery,
it follows me,
won't let me go,
won't set me free.

Because I just can't let it be.
I live my life in misery.

Here come the tears,pouring down on me.
Somebody come and save me,before I drown in misery.

Awake or sleeping,I'm in misery.
Just can't admit,what's plain to see.

I live my life,on bended knees.
Crying over,you and me.


Working

by

Faye Hoffman

Once again,I will awake,
to face another day.
Wondering why I bother,
back to the same old job today.

Running with the rat race,
working for the man.
Still hungry after payday,
feeding Uncle Sam.

It's a hard life,
and it doesn't come so free.
For some it's all real easy.
But it's never been for me.

Don't expect,
to be a rich man.
All I work for,
goes in others hands.

A worker ant,
who only succeeds,
If I have something,
the big man needs.

It's a hard life,
if like me,you're all alone.
Here to make it better for others,
dieing to make room for more.


House of Pain

by

Faye Hoffman

You start out in this world,
thinking you know,
what you'll do in life,
which way you'll go.

Watching things pass before you,
looking for rewards overdue.
Wondering when your days are over.
Waiting for it to all be through.

I'm in a house of pain,
trying not to go insane.
Just memories,and counting days,
where nothing else remains.

Drowning in a world of sorrow.
Where you are in no-never tomorrows.
There's no place here for me,
and even less time left to borrow.

Living out my days,
in a prison -like domain.
Where memories give way,
in a House of Pain.


Mistakes

by

Faye Hoffman

All this time,
I've been blinded in a way.
That kept me from seeing,
what I had and threw away.

You know how it is,
when you have everything.
It doesn't look as good,
as in the beginning.

The grass is always greener,
you always want more.
Never appreciate anything,
until you don't have it anymore.

And then it's gone.
After the fact,
to late,too bad,
can't get it back.

I was blind,
what can I say?
Lost everything,
everyday I pay.

Must stop my crying,
over things that got away.
Losses in the past.
Mistakes of yesterday.

Start all over again.
Remember where I've been.
Never forget the mistakes I made,
and never make them again.


What's It All For?

by

Faye Hoffman


Day after day,
the same as before.
Over and over,
it's an endless bore.

The hours pass slowly.
Life seems a chore.
Exhausted from today.
It's tomorrow once more.

Lost in the crowd,
of a working mans war.
I have to ask myself,
what's it all for?

What's it all for,
who's keeping score?
There better be a good reason,
I'm doing this all for.


Time and Time Again

by

Faye Hoffman

So many times,
I've tried to find,
the perfect love,
but love's not blind.

I've spent my life,
playing the part.
Not wih my soul,
or with my heart.

Thinking I'll find,
what stories tell.
Of dreams come true,
a fairy tale.

I don't know what,
I'm doing wrong.
Don't think I'll find,
that special someone.

Time and time again,
I've tried,and I can't win.
When it comes to love,
I got the losing end.


Life,give me a break.

by

Faye Hoffman

Everytime I fall down,
from the steps that I have taken.
I get up and think it's better,
until the next step,I'll be taking.

Just one good day,
for heavens sake.
That's all I'm asking,
give me a break.

The cars broke down,
the kids are late.
My turn to drive.
The dog can wait.

I've lost the keys,
my son's in jail.
He's calling me,
to post his bail.

They've raised my dues,
I need to eat.
I've had no sleep,
I feel I'm beat.

I'm getting ill,
from this headache.
I wish life would,
give me a break.


All Over Again

by

Faye Hoffman

Got off the boat this morning.
Went as far as I could go.
Looking for a motel,
walking in the snow.

Noone in their right mind,
would ever come this far.
It's the only way,that I could be sure,
I wouldn't see you anymore.

It's raining on my face,
as I walk toward the store.
People staring at me,
as I walk up to the door.

You can tell I don't belong here.
My world is out of place.
I'm in a foreign country.
There's a lost look on my face.

But in time,
I'll be just fine.
I'll settle in again,
and leave the past behind.

Just forget a while,
about what you have done.
Start all over again,
until the next time, I have to run.


This Society

by

Faye Hoffman

It makes me sick,
from what I see.
Feel like getting brutal,
on this community.

Everywhere you look,
there's scams and cons,and cheats.
Gangs and thugs and mobsters,
there's garbage on the streets.

The cities all around us,
are crawling with disease.
Our bodies are all polluted,
from a mans smog,in a breeze.

Hate is all around us.
It's a racial society.
I have to hide in my condo,
so I don't kill everyone I see.

The good guys now are bad guys.
Protect and serve,
is now,kill and take.

Charity is a pasttime,
for those,
who have a name to make.

In this society,
where we preach religion and civility,
it's fallen on a deaf ear,
and mankind holds the key.


A Memory

by

Faye Hoffman

You know sometimes,
how time goes by.
The years you've forgotten,
now make you cry.

A memory,
that long was gone.
Comes back somehow,
and leaves you torn.

Like someone special,who said goodbye.
or a love that didn't last.
Maybe a thought,you long forgot.
Single moments from the past.

Some that make you smile,
and sometimes make you blue.
Memories like a heartbeat,
belonging just to you.

Accumulated pictures,
memories,loves art.
There for eternity,
locked inside our hearts.


The Next Time

by

Faye Hoffman

Here we go again,
you don't answer,you just run.
Go and see your buddies.
Go ahead and have your fun.

Because the next time,
that you walk out that door,
will be the last time.
I can't take it anymore.

No more goodbyes,
or running out when things go bad.
I'm tired of trying.
I've had all that I can stand.

So after the next time,
you'll find the locks have all been changed.
That will be the first clue,
next the divorce will be arranged.

So have a good time.
Tell the boys all hi for me.
Be sure and tell them,
how it's going to be.
The Next Time.


Goodbye

by

Faye Hoffman

It's the last time I'll see you,
and I have something I need to say.
It's important that you hear me,
then I will go away.

I know that you hate me,
and I don't blame you,I was wrong.
It's just hard for me to forget.
The years have been so long.

I knew it was over,
along time ago.
But you didn't have to hurt me,
there's something you should know.

The hardest part
for me will be,
that for tweny years,
it was you and me.

It's too bad what has happened.
Too much damage,too much pain.
I know that I can't change it,
and we just can't pretend.

Forever,this is it.
We know the reasons why.
Even though it really hurts,
we have to say goodbye.


Love of Another Kind

by

Faye Hoffman

What kind of fool am I,
to let you make me cry.
Break my heart into,
tell me nothing but lies.

Then just stay around,
thinking you might change your mind,
really want my love,
don't know why I even tried.

What kind of fool am I?

I'm that fool,
that loved you all along.
Even though,
you've always done me wrong.

It's the kind of love,
you think you'll never find.
That once in a lifetime thing,
but it's a love that's blind.

There's a certain kind of love,
where there is no rule.
It's a love of another kind.
It's the love of a fool.


Nicole

by

Faye Hoffman

She's a man user.
She's only out for fun.
She's always hated men,
for something they've never done.

She can take down the baddest,
make them even cry.
Do things you can't imagine,
and then she'll say goodbye.

A man abuser,who knows what she wants,
goes for the kill,and she gets it.
In her eyes,their all losers.
She'll stomp on their hearts,destroy all their dreams,and not regret it.

But they always choose her.
They don't see what's on her mind.
They only have a want.
What they're looking for,they'll find.


Change

by

Faye Hoffman

It's a small existance,
you'll find here in your room.
Feelings have possessed you,
thoughts of saddness,loss,and doom.

Hate is eating at you,
gnawing at your soul.
Angry when you waken.
It's a heavy toll.

Time that you are wasting,
with revenge upon your mind.
Living for one reason.
Justice,you hope to find.

You'd better change your ways,
forget about the hate.
You better do it now,
before it's too late.

Before your time is over,
before regrets have taken hold,
when it's too late for you to capture,
the good times,you let go.


The Wife

by

Faye Hoffman

She was a good looking woman.
Trouble from the start.
Eyes,a dreamy color,
lips,a work of art.

She was any mans woman,
it was plain to see.
Working for the bounty,
keeping double company.

The plan was all in order.
The men knew when,and knew what for.
Knowing nothing of each other,
and now she wanted more.

Noone could have known,
what was about to happen.
One man had the money,
with the other,she sent the gun.

She had them where she wanted,
one man down,one on his way.
As he fell fom her shot,she grabbed the bag,
and quickly ran away.

She went to count her rewards,
of her life,now what remained.
Nothing was what she had left,
nothing was what she gained.

Guilty of two murders,
now running for her life.
One man was her lover,
as for the other one,she was his wife.


An Old Song

by

Faye Hoffman

A song can bring back a memory,
of forgotten moments and times.
Some of or favorite melodies,
some of our favorite rhymes.

Play me an old song.
Reminiscing times of long ago.
Bringing back thoughts of a first love,
favorite things that we've all known.

Special moments frozen in time,
flashes before our eyes.
Bringing a smile to our faces,
and sometimes making us cry.

Just like an old song,
from times that are long gone,
and never coming back again,
just like a lost friend.

Take me back again,
to my favorite song,back then,
and once again,
let me remember when.


That's How It Feels

by

Faye Hoffman

You're crying to me,
how you're hurting inside.
You don't think I love you.
Where's all of that pride?

Don't you remember,
all of the years,
of pain that you caused me,
and all of my tears?

When you're alone,
feeling down,and on your own,
when tears start to spill,
then you'll know how it feels.

It feels like a heartbreak,
like you did to me.
Just like you're feeling now.
It's time for you to see.

Just how it feels,
how my pain was real.
That's how it hurts,
and that's how it feels.


The Night

by

Faye Hoffman

Days go by,
and I barely make it through.
I keep holding on,
trying not to think of you.

But in the night,
old feelings come along,
and once I think of you,
I know I won't last long.

I keep holding on,
but there's nothing I can do.
That's when I break down,
and start crying over you.

In the night,
while sitting all alone,
I can't stop crying,
I know this time you're gone.

I'm all broken down.
My heart is torn into.
I know it's over now,
I know this time ,we're through.

So we'll go on our own,
and I'll keep standing tall.
But when it turns to night,
I know the tears will fall.


Goodbye Father

by

Faye Hoffman

After today,
my life won't be the same.
It's too bad for us,
what you and I became.

All this time.
All these years.
We've hurt each other,
so many tears.

I don't love you,
you don't love me,
but it's not true,
now don't you see?

This is the day,
already here.
I've hurt so long,
I feel such dread.

Now you're gone,
and I'm afraid.
My heart,it hurts,
from mistakes we made.

It's too late,
what do I do?
You can't love me,
but,I did love you.


No Way Out

by

Faye Hoffman

Days go by,
I forget the day and time.
Living in a madhouse,
going blind.

Confused and disillusioned,
angry at the Gods.
Losing all reality,
sinking in the sands.

Looking for a door,
to take me out of here.
The box is getting smaller,
there's only blackness everywhere.

Escape is only in my mind.
I'm sick from being alive.
I can barely see in front of me.
I can no longer close my eyes.

Despair is my only friend.
Anguish feeds my soul.
Pain is all around me.
I suffer because I am.


Falling Apart

by

Faye Hoffman

Falling apart,
in the middle of the night.
From dreams that overwhelm me,
and a saddness I can't fight.

The tears will start,
all at once,when I awake.
The pain will overcome me,
again,my heart will ache.

Then I'll start falling apart,
leaving pieces all around.
What's left from my broken heart,
will be scattered on the ground.

Once again,I'll go back there again,
where it's dark,and I'm alone,and then,
I'll go back,to where I'll always be.
Falling apart,over you and me.


Hummingbird Flight

by

Faye Hoffman

A sudden flutter in the air,
quietly passes by my ear,
and breaks the peaceful silence,
I enjoy while lying here.

I close my eyes and listen to,
a song the songbird sings.
I hear him as he nears me.
It's the sound of hummingbird wings.

A simple mid-air rhythm,
as he keeps in perfect pace.
His wimgs sound a rapid harmony,
of angelic chimeful grace.

His music lingers in my head.
It's a soothing melody.
A beautiful concerto,
dancing through the trees.

Gazing,my eyes begin to blur,
as I try to keep looking on.
Just a flitter,as though was never there,
all at once my hummingbird's gone.


Jonathon

by

Faye Hoffman

A day like always,
we all know how that feels.
Working nothing but overtime,
trying to pay the bills.

My daughters boyfriend answers for,
cops knocking at my door.
They're wanting information,
but they won't say what for.

I have to hear it on the streets,
rumors flying everywhere.
They say my friend O.D.ed last night,
but does anyone really care?

I start calling,asking questions.
There's an aching in my head.
I'm in pain from all my crying,
I can't believe my friend is dead.

Sometimes it's a hard life,
and you wouldn't want to know,
the way my friend went out of here,
was a hard way to go.

Talking to the devil,
trying to make a deal.
Walking down the dead mans walk,
waiting for the kill.

Jonathon Farber - murdered 2001


Alaska

by

Faye Hoffman

I look out of my window,
across an icy sea.
Iceburgs fill the waters,
Alaska,is an artists dream.

Floatplanes decorate the clouds,
ferries are docked and waiting.
Cruise ships line the city,
full of eager tourists waving.

Different kinds of people,
scattered on the streets.
Rushing to the open stores,
to find a special treat.

Colorful houses,one by one,
disappear into the hills.
I stare out at a clear blue sky,
as birds swoop at my windowsill.

Behind a snowy mountain,
across a green frontier,
a rainbow of Northern lights,
suddenly appear.

A snowball hits my window,
from the children down below.
Smiling faces,and warm embraces,
light up the evening snow.

As my eyes drink in the beauty,
that's spread out everywhere,
I gaze up at the Heavens,
and breathe in a pleasant air.

Natures perfect theme park.
A sight you can't believe.
This real life Christmas wonderland,
makes me never want to leave.


Scared Little Boy

by

Faye Hoffman

In the darkest part of night,
with eyes wide open and afraid,
a small boy is awakened,
by the noises that nights make.

His face pressed to a pillow,
so tight that he can't breathe.
Hiding from the monsters,
that are only in make-believe.

He has a small and faded lamp,
on a little boys nightstand,
but he's scared to reach out for it,
from fear of what lies neath his bed.

He pulls the covers up much tighter,
as he squeezes his eyes hard shut.
Praying little boys prayers,
wishing for his mothers touch.

But his voice seems to escape him,
as he's frozen in one spot.
His room is a silent blackness,
until he hears a knock.

Then like a dream,it's over.
All his fears are washed away.
As he sees his mothers face appear,
he reaches out,knowing,he's safe once again.


Deep Down

by

Faye Hoffman

I'm alone once again, where I used to be.
Never thought I'd be back here,
broken down upon my knees.

It feels like I'm crying,but I shed no tears.
Deep down I tremble,
from what my heart fears.

I'm alone again,back to the start.
Right where I've always been,
with this broken heart.

I close my eyes and see the black,
I thought I'd never see.
Alone again,and crying,over you and me.

It feels like I'm crying,but I've shed no tears.
Deep down I'm dieing.
Deep down I have these fears.

deep down I hide from,how I really feel.
The truth is,
deep down, I love you still.


Keeper of the Sky

by

Faye Hoffman

The midnight moon in full array,
can be seen from worlds around.
Earth stands alone in twilight,
as this star goes round and round.

She diminishes in silence,
as the days go slowly by.
We hardly even notice,
there's a caretaker in the night.

At the point of the quartermoon,
he sits up way on high.
Looking out among the stars,
with such a gleaming eye.

Smiling down upon us.
The brightest twinkle in the sky.
He's the keeper of the moonlight lamp,
that keeps the night skies bright.

Guardian of the moons light.
Balancing nights and days.
This man who lives up in the sky,
keeps the moon from fading away.


King of the World

by

Faye Hoffman

There's an old man on the street,
that I talk to everyday.
I help him to where he's going,
as he walks with unsteady pace.

His worldly belongings,he holds in his hands.
His treasures,he shares with me.
He always smiles with missing teeth,
at any stranger who cares to speak.

A ragged coat and worn out gloves,
cover this broken old man.
The hair on his face,covers his age,
but his eyes tell me something more.

He's the King of the world,
as he travels in his time.
All the Earth belongs to him,
he has no need of simple things.

All the people reach out their hands,
and coins fall at his feet.
Everyone in this world must love him,
they take care of his every need.

As I watch the old man walk away,
I start to understand.
In this life he'a made his own,
he's a King in his own land.


Treasure Box

by

Faye Hoffman

In my treasure box,
there are few things that I keep.
Sometimes I go back and look,
and these are the things that I see.

On top is a blanket that I crocheted,
for my first child,Melode.
The birth certificate of Nicole,
and her pink little babies ring.

For my son,the only one,
his first blonde lock of hair.
Black and white photographs,
of when he first came home with me.

Underneath that lies old newspapers,
telling about my best frends death.
Below that a three stoned mothers ring,
on top of an old love letter.

Digging deeper is my Highschool book,
still covered in plastic wrap.
A picture of my first best friend,
my diary,still locked,and no key.

There's grandmas worn out Bible,
full of family history.
Grandpas railroad watch,
still a beautiful time piece.

Coins tossed alongside antique stamps,
tokens from where I have been.
Scattered along the bottom of this box,
treasures,that could only mean something to me.


The Only Fool

by

Faye Hoffman

I can't believe,
I'm so easy.
How could I act,
so foolishly?

What made me need,
made me agree.
When did I break.
How could I be so weak?

He's made me grieve,
and made me bleed.
I'm such a fool,
what's wrong with me?

Where is the Queen,
I used to be.
Why did I choose,
to live this miserably?

I played for keeps,
I'm in too deep.
Any fool can see,
that the only fool is me.


Window Watching

by

Faye Hoffman

I sit here at my window,
watching the snow fall quietly.
The fire is burning softly,
it crackles constantly.

I can almost smell the popcorn.
It's popping wakes the quiet night.
I curl up inside a blanket,
all cozy as I watch outside.

On the snow covered streets,
children are playing everywhere.
There's a man building a snowman,
as the neighbors at their windows stare.

I sip on my hot chocolate,
mesmerized by the wonderful scene.
Remembering a childhood moment,
makes me smile,from what I see.

My popcorns finished popping,
and its hard for me to leave,
from the comfort of my easy chair,
but the smell is tempting me.

I race to the kitchen counter,
grab my snack,race for the door.
Bounce back into my window seat,
watching the show once more.


Ward Lake

by

Faye Hoffman

Every January,
at the coldest time of year,
the whole town gets together,
for a night of fun and cheer.

Snow is on the mountain,
a slushy ice is everywhere.
The wind is hard and bitter,
the smell of cedar's in the air.

The water's frozen over.
An ice rink now awaits,
for all the eager people,
who'll be ice skating at Ward Lake.

People race to get their skates,
grabbing arms and holding on.
Lovers glide together,
a little girl dances alone.

Lights shine round the frozen ice,
straight up into the sky.
Colors flicker back and forth,
on every skater passing by.

All bundled up,sitting on a bench,
I watch the skaters floating on high.
Twinkling,twirling,in the moonlight,
doing an ice dance in the night.


I Found

by

Faye Hoffman

I found out what
love really means.
I've been confused
at times it seems.

But then I found
a book on love.
I read each line,
that's when I learned.

That I had looked
for words unknown.
When love was there,
I didn't know.

I found someone,
but now he's gone.
Thought I knew love,
but I was wrong.

Now I find
I see differently.
But it won't bring back
his love to me.

So in my search,
for love this time.
I'll question not,
and keep love I find.


The Storyman

by

Faye Hoffman

The storyman yelled out,
he had something for sale.
As he danced all around me,
he bagan telling his tale.

Of an unearthly potion,
a magical spell.
A promise of treasures,
a cure for what ails.

He beckoned me follow,
down a darkened trail.
I walked toward the sounds,
of distant ringing bells.

At the corner of the forest,
through a mist,I try to see.
I thought I heard him laughing,
now I'm sure it was at me.

Temptation made me follow,
without thinking I went on.
Looking for those pleasures,
in my life,that now were gone.

He was a storyteller.
His lies now,I had bought,
and the price I had to pay,
wasn't worth the pain I got.


Time was Forever

by

Faye Hoffman

When time was forever,
those days when we were young.
No clocks stood before us,
just tomorrows in the sun.

Once we step out on the streets,
to meet with life,and start to learn,
the time starts quickly passing,
for yesterdays,we start to yearn.

From that long sleep,we awaken,
to find that time has passed away.
Days and dates are soon forgotten,
written on pages of yesterday.

When time was forever,
and my heart so innocent.
I thought my life would never end.
now I'm wondering where the years went.

Holding on to every yesterday,
hoping for anymore tomorrows.
Finally discovering that,
forever,wasn't very long at all.


Before My Eyes

by

Faye Hoffman

What happened in your life,
that made you hate me so.
What did I ever do,
but give you life,and help you grow?

You tell me you don't need me,
did nothing for you in life.
Everything is my fault,
words that make me cry.

You say that you are leaving,
won't ever see me again.
You're going to make me pay for,
things I never did.

You're yelling in my face,
calling me awful names.
You're packing your belongings.
I know you're leaving here today.

Right before my eyes,
my whole life's passed me by.
Pictures of a lifetime,
relecting in my mind.

Years of threats and anger,
reminding me everyday.
You say that you don't love me,
but I'll love you son,anyway.


The Child that Wasn't Mine

by

Faye Hoffman

She held out her arms,
of blue blankets to see.
I reached out and took him,
to hold closer to me.

I looked into his tiny face,
of big brown eyes,and dark black hair.
A different looking child,
of a different race.

She asked me to take him,
as she rushed out he door.
she said she couldn't pay someone,
to watch him anymore.

I wondered how a Mother,
could give so easily,
of her own flesh and blood,
to a stranger,she'd never seen.

Time went by unnoticed.
The mother decided to leave.
The weeks turned into months,
he became part of my family.

I've rocked him every sleepless night,
to his favorite melody.
Held him and loved him,and took good care of him.
He's now a part of me.

(He is my child,and I am his Mother)


Time

by

Faye Hoffman

Through the eyes of a child,
the world is fancy free.
No thoughts of a tomorrow,
just a young heart full of glee.

Youth is soon forgotten,
when the world,we really see.
Thinking back to yesterday,
where we wish that we could be.

Time is a possession,
that slips by gradually.
Before we know what has happened,
all that's left is a memory.


Beginning of the End

by

Faye Hoffman

Time and time again,
the same old tale we spin.
Generations that came before us,
and those who have never been.

Have you heard the story,
my Father once told me.
It's written in the Good Book,
for ewveryone to see.

Soon the day will come,
when man is never more.
We've known throughout creation,
but his words,we just ignore.

God said that it is his will,
for all men not to kill.
That we should love our neighbor,
from our brothers,never steal.

A world that lives in hatred,
where our lives,we must defend.
We cannot see what's coming.
It's the beginning of the end.


Broken Heart

by

Faye Hoffman

Everytime I think it's good,
the whole thing just goes bad.
I keep holding on to things,
that always make me sad.

I wish that there was just one day,
I didn't want to cry.
But I keep walking through the door,
of a past,in time,gone by.

The thing about a heartache is,
that you can be assured.
When the Doctors knocking at your door,
if it's love,it can't be cured.

It's there each day that passes,
the wounds cannot be healed.
But we learn to mend the pieces,
of our hearts,where tears have spilled.


Higher Than Heaven

by

Faye Hoffman

Higher than the Heavens,
amid a cloud of blue,
describes the way my heart felt,
the first time,I saw you.

I thought you were an angel,
sent from up above.
A gift that only God could give.
One that comes from love.

You're the only reason,
that I am still alive.
He knew that you would need me,
in order to survive.

I have no fear of anything,
that fate decides to deal,
except the thought of losing you,
with that,I have no will.

Thank you God for sending me,
this gift above the rest.
With all the joys you've given me,
I know I'm truly blessed.


When You Think Of Me

by

Faye Hoffman

When you think of me,
I hope it makes you smile,
and takes away your saddness,
for more than just a while.

At the mention of my name,
try not to shed a tear.
Remembering a moment lost in time,
that you once held dear.

Think of our life together,
not so long ago.
When our hearts were filled with laughter,
and our love did overflow.

I'd like to think that maybe,
because you loved me then,
that pieces of my memory,
come back to you again.


You

by

Faye Hoffman

I think about the first time,
I saw you standing there.
The stars were shining in your eyes,
sunlight dancing in your hair.

A vision of perfection,
before my eyes to see.
A magical illusion,
showering over me.

Inhaled by total beauty,
my heart begins to sing.
Weightless,floating throughout space,
inside an angels wing.

Imagine crystal clover,
or drops of golden dew.
Even pleasures such as these,
could never take my eyes from you.


Please Come Back

by

Faye Hoffman

It hurts my heart so bad,
when I think of you.
Reminding me of long ago,
when you loved me too.

I can't seem to just let go,
you're always on my mind.
I wish this hurt would go away,
and leave this pain behind.

How can I stop loving you,
although you don't love me.
It's easy for you to just forget,
but my heart will never be free.

Please come back and love me,
and dry my tears away.
Help me hold on to those memories,
we shared just yesterday.


Exit-Love

by

Faye Hoffman

Enter two,
arm in arm.
She's beautiful.
He's full of charm.
She makes him smile,
he worships her.
Wedding's soon,
I am sure.
They walk outside,
she holds his hand.
He kisses her,
she loves this man.
You can tell,
where they've come from.
Entered two hearts,
and exited love.


Does He Love Me?

by

Faye Hoffman

How do I know if he loves me.
What in his eyes should I see.
Am I only a reflection,
or is he looking at me?

How can I be sure he loves me.
What if his touch is not real.
Do I shun his attentions,
or bask in the emotions I feel?

How will I know if his love's real.
Can you trust something,you cannot see.
Or am I only imagining,
he feels the same way as me?

Is it hearing him say,I love you,
so tender,the way it should be.
Or holding on for a lifetime,
to a promise he made to me?


I know It's Over

by

Faye Hoffman

I know this time it's over.
I can't take it anymore.
Even though you loved me once,
you don't love me anymore.

I guess for you, it's better late,
than never,to be free.
Even though it hurts me so,
this time you'll hear no plea.

It seems we've been together now,
so long I can't believe,
you're really walking out the door,
I can't stop you,if you want to leave.

Although I know it's over,
it hurts to set love free,
and cross the bridge of broken hearts,
remembering what used to be.


Looking

by

Faye Hoffman

It seems I'm always looking,
for the perfect love affair.
While all the ones around me,
just sit there unaware.

Looking for that someone,
who will not break my heart.
Who won't leave me shattered,
or tear my world apart.

I guess I'll keep on searching,
for what I think I'll find.
Always looking through the past,
of what I left behind.


The Man In The Sky

by

Faye Hoffman

I look up
to the Heavens,
and float on clouds up high.

In search of
all the answers,
from the man up in the sky.

Tranquil thoughts
go through my head.
Peace is everywhere.

I wish that I could linger,
in this land,
above the air.


My Wish

by

Faye Hoffman

If I were in a world
where wishes came true.
My one and only wish would be,
to forever have you.

To remember the happiness,
you once brought to me,
and fill in the spaces,
I no longer see.

Bringing me back,
to memories far away.
Reminding me of a time,
when I used to say.

Together,forever,my love,
we will be,
even if tomorrow,
we never see.

Just at that moment,
my wish did come true,
because for a second there,
I once again loved you.


Just A Dream

by

Faye Hoffman

Ten years ago,
when we first met,
the things that we dreamed of,
I could never forget.

Marriage and a family,
my lover and my friend.
Happily ever after,
together until the end.

It's been eight years now,
since we said I do.
Thought everything was perfect,
till the day that he met you.

Now my days are long.
I'm sad,broken,and all alone.
Not sure if he'll come back home.
If only I had known.

All those dreams,I dreamed alone.
I can no longer pretend.
There's no happy ever after.
There's no happy end.


Dark Laughter

by

Faye Hoffman

Dark laughter
fills my inner ear.
I grab my head,
so I can't hear.

It echoes through
my fingertips.
It never stops,
it never ends.

I close my eyes,
cover my face.
but I hear noises,
from inside this place.

The sound I hear,
makes me crazy.
It's almost like,
it's part of me.

Why am I
the only one,
who hears his laugh,
why me alone?


Little Flowers

by

Faye Hoffman

Born on a lonely Island,
in the middle of the sea.
Never knowing there was something more,
out there beyond the reefs.

Rained on little flowers,
who hardly ever see the sun.
Hidden behind a mountain,
where the cold rivers run.

There's nothing but blue waters,
as far as they can see,
and no way off the Island,
to new places in their dreams.

Sad little Alaskan flowers,
wilting one by one.
With no sun to keep them smiling,
the whole field is almost gone.

Soon the snow starts falling.
Flakes cloud up the sky.
Gone once again are my flowers,
underneath a ground of white.


Heart For Sale

by

Faye Hoffman

In the corner of the billboard,
covered up and hard to see,
was a tiny piece of paper,
I ripped down,so I could read.

You could barely see the writing,
for the tears this person shed.
Words scribbled in red letters,
and this is what it said.

One broken heart for sale,
that hasn't had much care.
It's been broken many times,
and in need of some repair.

But if you put it back together,
and treat it tenderly.
I'm sure that you'll discover,
there's love waiting,desperately.

It's cost now is uncertain,
but you'll find it very cheap.
There's only one condition,
once taken,it's for keeps.

You'll know where to fnd me.
You know the number well.
If interested then call here,
at 1-800 Heart For Sale.


Seeing Things

by

Faye Hoffman

In the middle of the night,
when I am all alone,
the dark makes scary noises,
shadows sound a mournful moan.

Creaking sounds unnerve me.
Lights flicker on and off.
I'm sure I'm hearing footsteps.
Can't reach for the phone to call.

Im seeing ghosts on the ceiling.
I hear the night wolves howl.
Curtains hide the windows,
so I can't see outside.

You know the fears,
the nightime brings.
I'm not sure,
but think I'm seeing things.

I'll close my eyes,
cover my head,
hold flashlight tight,
hide under the bed.

I'm frozen stiff,
I cannot scream.
I'm blinded from,
these things I see.


Broken Window

by

Faye Hoffman

The morning rain pours loudly.
There's this pain inside that grows.
This misery eats at me.
I can feel it to the bone.

Same old broken window,
from fifteen years ago.
Barely held together by,
tape flapping as the winds blow.

I look between the pieces,
trying to see through the broken screen.
Searching for the pictures of,
what you and I used to be.

I can't see it anymore.
Things back then,to you I swore.
Promises you made me break,
along with all my other mistakes.

You're never looking back,never intended.
Never even cared,just an ending.
Breaking everything,everytime,everyone.
Shattering lives,like the window.


Back Then

by

Faye Hoffman

Just yesterday,I use to think,
that time stopped forever,just for me.
Couldn't wait for tomorrows to pass me by,
anxious to grow up and finally be free.

But the world showed me things,
that I had never known.
Taught me that the good life,
and good times,now were gone.

I miss those yesterdays,
of summer fun,and youthful play.
Where my only kind of worry,
could wait another day.

I wish even more than that,
I could go back through the door,
where my memories remind me how,
to smile again once more.

Where the bad times get washed away,
walking back through the places I've been.
Wish time could stop,turn back the clock,
and let me touch yesterday once again.