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Scott Higgins

of

Noblesville, IN, US

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A Simple Birthday Wish

by

Scott Higgins

365 days ago I held your hand
it feels like a lifetime (or an hour)

I stayed behind for a chance to earn
the innocence you were born with

Did it have to happen this way?
I am blood, bone, flesh, and memories

You are more than all of these things
but your pages were torn out

When you left, I followed behind and tried
to keep up for as long as I could

This was all I knew how to do, an ancient
contract between a Father and his Daughter

The things you were, and would become,
is a mystery that can never reveal itself

Since you left I am chased by ghosts
every night when I fall asleep

The ghosts are real, they have come to stay
and I hope they never leave


Zoloft, Indiana

by

Scott Higgins

Hell's waiting room
sound soft trumpets
buzz---numb---blackest
razor blade brother
soul killer
this piece of me
I cannot outrun
has found his way home


Perpetua~Ex Voto

by

Scott Higgins

"Of what is this house composed if not the sun?"
Wallace Stevens--An Ordinary Evening in New Haven

Part I. The Day Before

You left this house
a year ago, give or take
a few weeks.
The walls know this, one
less shadow--void
on the canvas.
Silence hangs in our rooms
as a second skin.

I miss you so much
it burns, but I cannot
make it whole.
I can only remember
and drown
in the flame.

Part II. The Anniversary

In this bled-out state
of grace,
bricks crash through
stained glass.
Forgiveness is empty
compared to the ache of needing
to be forgiven.

Desire was buried
in your sediment;
nourished by blood
that pumped, double-hearted,
from your core.
Blood that shined dark
like dark water
when it is cold
and heavy
and seems to flow
from an unfamiliar sea.

I dream of heaven and hell.
I dream of nothing, yet...
it is still like a dream.

Today is the anniversary
of our marriage.
Where I live, a rain pours tears
from the saints, furious
and passionate.

Our day expires.
Heaven cries.