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Richard Heller

of

Van Nuys, CA, US

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Smoking

by

Richard Heller

Tar is the paint that coats my lungs black
on my way to an attack of the heart
souls depart
off to a headstart
as I shave years off of my life
cure from strife from a tip of a light
torching tips of a light brand of cigarettes
a.k.a. cancer sticks
a.k.a. fags which I drag despite numerous flags
flapping caution so futile against an addiction
dismissing the wisdom of the general's warning
it's a joke that I toke
even when I'm half broke
when i should buy some food to emote to my throat
that i care
water is much better than smoke
and though I hang one from my lips
I tell myself that I should quit
even though I hear God laughing for he knows I surely jest
we both know for me to quit would be in my best interest
Do I want to struggle out of bed to take a shit?
And crawl across the floor in hopes that I can make the toilet?
before the diaper gets it?
Too weak to even stand because the chemo's got me wasted
Turned baby from a man
frowning at a helping hand
protruding from a body of a nurse that I can't stand
Althoug I know she's there for all the aid that she can give, she reminds me of the fact I've only got three weeks to live
I never thought that fifty'd be the age I hit my limit
too many years I must have wasted to be denied some extra credit
maxing out my years through use of cigarettes and beers
now nicotine and alcohol make up the content of my tears
Another prayer to the Lord
I'm suprised He don't get bored
at me apologizing for the sins that I've adored
But now it looks as though I'll be a smoker to my death
No point to quit incorporating smoke into my breath
If my life had been a movie then my life would be a flop
for all I had to do to keep on living was to stop


The Dreamer

by

Richard Heller

Every night before I go to sleep, I dream of loving you
In hopes that everything I want to do, you want to, too, to me.
Sensing something specwhat our meeting breeds.
Happy pk   m and surprised to find you think that I am sexy.
For sometimes I can't help looking in a mirror and think I'm ugly.
A product of the habit of me living in self-pity.
But this is what you do to me, the thought of you, it helps.
Giving wings to a mentality your energy has dealt.
A wave of joy to drown me as I'm reminded how it felt
to forget about myself and offer love to someone else.
So thank you, dear. Yes, thank you, ma'am, for everything you've done.e day soon you'll help me add on to this one
so we may multiply and sing a tune to stir our hearts
until the day our souls decide to pack up and depart.

Play-Play

by

Richard Heller

Play-play I say to sway the minds of little demons
to sermon them to leave from this room I call MY room
I wish I had a broom that's big enougout
I've half a mind to laugh if I hear weeping come my way
If they don't want to play, I'll have to play a Disney tape
so they can sit and gape at genies, mermaids, and the like
and I will have to sit through it and try to make no bones
about the movie that I've shown to them so they can sit and wonder
at the spell that they're put under from the images made under tips of pens
and when the movie ends they'll want to watch the show again
and I will have to say play-play and hope thed run around outside, oh man, I wish I had a kite
in hopes they'll see it's value and be urged to take the bite
so they can go outside and watch the kite fly in the sky
and I can find some time to chill while they're preoccupied
I wish that I could leave for a solitary minute
so I could re-lax in it while I suck on a lit stick
and not worry bout those pricks who haven't learned yet how to shit
because they make no effort on to learn how they should wipe it
they're not bothered by t still kids that act like kids
and I'm so bloody jealous I want to cry in front of them
to show I'm one of them, to say I need somebody, too.
What a stupid fool to have me come and watch them all unspool
and tangle up in fun and games, and I still go to school
but I can't wear the same clothes day to day and make the grade
I can't go a day without the need for me to bathe
I've gotten to the point where I need to shave my face
and all of this takes effort and I'm too bored to do thesethat I could play without my withered grown-out wings.
I wish I could Play-Play, I say, and see magic in my schemes.

Spell

by

Richard Heller

Sunny the bunny sold honey and made more money than her dad
more than he ever had
he was not glad
he just got mad
and yelled at Sunny bunmoney in his care
so he could live the life he always dared to live if rich
and Sunny hopped away to find a place where she can play
a place to show her face to other faces that she knew
to find a jar of truth to whet her tooth and use the glass
to pass around to others so that they may get to know her
and she can be accepted in a world that found her cool
that didn't know the meaning of a fool or tool or rule
where everyone was smart and didn't work and had no bosses
where they nevs or got jammed up in the masses
on their way to the same place where they can trace the aging face
Sunny bunny met a turkey and the jerky that he ate
Sunny was so hungry she could eat air off of a plate
she asked the turkey nicely if she could have a bite to eat
the turkey called her greedy and decided to retreat
and sunny got the funny urge to steal the meat away
and punched the turkey in the face. took the meat and ran away
and blamed her dad for everything she had to do to live thoney for this bunny, she was runny with the hate
no money for her weight, so her weight became a bank
that had to finally settle on a fate that led to closure
and Sunny found the moisture of the dirt more to her liking
she could sleep and never worry and the hiking cost of rent