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Thomas Heaney


Riegelsville, PA, US

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The Night Before Christmas


Thomas Heaney

With apologies to Clement Clarke Moore

'Twas the night before Christmas and all through the room
Not a chatter was talking - a deep feeling of gloom;
The undies wre hung on the tree with such care,
But the rest of the room - my gosh it was bare!
The chatters were nestled all snug in their chairs,
While visions of talking flitted through their softwares,
But all were so sad 'cause it was soon that we found;
That we'ed tried to get in BUT THE SERVER WAS DOWN!
When there in the room there arose such a clatter,
We stared at our screens to see what was the matter!
To the keyboards we all rushed as a flash
Our fists slammed on "Enter" each one with a crash,
The words on the screen was as white as the snow,
As name after name on the screen they all showed,
When, what to my wondering eyes should appear,
But the forties room so near and so dear!
With a little old bartender so lively and true,
I knew in a moment it must be Dubu.
More rapid than eagles the chatters all came,
And he whistled and shouted and called them by name;
Now amy! now Zythy! now Bobbie and Desi!
On Biker! on Hippy! on Smley and KAZy!
To the top of your stools! to the top of the bar!
Now dance away, dance away, dance away hard!
As dry glasses 'fore the wild hurricane smash,
The chatters all came through their screens with a crash!
And into the hottub the chatters they flew,
With handfuls of cookies and Christmas punch too!
And then in a twinkling I saw on my screen-
It opened up wide to let shoulders between!
I pushed in my body and was turning around,
Down inside the room I came with a bound!
The gang all greeted me each every one,
And we got down to serious partying fun!
Glasses of punch were passed all around,
And the room was soon filled with all happy sounds!
I saw California and Brook and then Cris
And Nuguy and Aussie and the Ghost (in a mist!),
And there's the Monk and Brook and there's Lady G
And Sunflower and Lana and there's Lady D!
I saw Fireguy and Honnee and Nightwolf was there,
And the best time was had by all I do swear!
Then a finger we laid along side of our nose,
And back towards our screens then all of us rose!
Through the screens to our chairs we went with a grin,
Hoping nobody'd discover this most private sin.
But all heard BB say 'fore the room closed out of sight: