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Alena Hack

of

Brisbane, Queensland, Australia

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marlenehack@bigpond.com (Alena Hack)


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Chemical Equation

by

Alena Hack

Her slow smile fades with each hour
The mission, the street, the gear
She doesn't fear the consequences of her existance
Just shrugs and says
"Were all gonna die anyway"
She looks back at the clock
Just another hour
Her llife is segmented into
Waiting, chasing, using
Her eyes as small as the needleitself
And her inner toughts kept between
The covers of her journal
Kept away inside
You can't let the street know you have a heart beat
Need oozing from her pores
Smelling like a junkie, loving like a junkie, needing like a junkie
Empty spot in her heart signifies the choice she made
In giving half her soul to a
Chemical equation
That empty spot can never be filled
Unless it be love in it's purest form
But love isn't here
It knocks occasionally but the addiction
Slams the door
And shse doesn't have to worry about reality
Just shrugs and says
"Who needs love anyway"


The Rebuilding

by

Alena Hack

I hear one thousand waves crashing
With each story, each expression
I see you screaming abusing and silent
With the pain
Of one thousand waves crashing
People arrive with bags of nothing
that hold everything that hold them up
Ans i hear their story and i see the current building
And, i watch you, listern to you, i feel for you
I feel your fire, i feel your rain, i feel your pain
And the stirring of one thousand waves crashing
You begin your journey and the light rain falls begin
I hear you scream and the thunder rolls and you
Thrush and punch at the demons in your soul
As the rain pours down you comfort and you open
You unleash, i see you rip at your yourself
Tear off your skin and hold your raw heart in your
Tired open hands and right when you think
You are drowning, i see you with the power of
One thousand waves crashing
You begin to rise to the surface with your face
Gently tipping towards
The sunlight of hope and courage
Slowwly calming the torment of
One thousand waves crashing


leaving home

by

Alena Hack

Bags packed, I stand and my eyes look around
My heart cries,but there is no sound
I say good by,I have to go
I sink,staggering ,I feel so low
An imposter in my own home
An outcast cold and alone
A quick kiss a group hug
I'll miss this, its nice'n'snug
My heart deflates,tears prickle my eyes
Silently I pray to the heavenly skies
Little hands grasp my jeans, desperate words beg
Please don't go, tightly they hold my leg
I stand, take the bags, walking
I close the door on my life
Sharp stabbing pain cuts through the days strife
Over my shoulder I hear my babies deep cries
With each step something more inside me diesa
Little babies stare blankly through the door
Loud thumps. I hear beating down through the floor
I sit Sobbing in my car
Driving backwards but not getting very far
Our hearts will be as one
United love, burning under the hot sun
We are not lost, but still connected
This I promise you
My love is honest and true

Love you
Xoxoxo

UntitleScars

by

Alena Hack

My muscles are rigid with the tension of holding myself together
The pain over my heart returns
And from it tiny fissures spreading out into my body
Through my torso down my arms and legs
Leaving me crisscrossed with cracks
It takes 10 times as long to put myself back together
Than it does to fall apart
I drag myself out of nightmares
Each night and find these no relief in wakeing

I have this sense of emerging
from a world of dark, haunted places
Where I travelled alone
Only my flesh yields
My warmth taken
Inwardly I'm such a wasteland
I'm a fickle stupid being with poor memory and a great gift for self destruction

UntitleScars

by

Alena Hack

My muscles are rigid with the tension of holding myself together
The pain over my heart returns
And from it tiny fissures spreading out into my body
Through my torso down my arms and legs
Leaving me crisscrossed with cracks
It takes 10 times as long to put myself back together
Than it does to fall apart
I drag myself out of nightmares
Each night and find these no relief in wakeing

I have this sense of emerging
from a world of dark, haunted places
Where I travelled alone
Only my flesh yields
My warmth taken
Inwardly I'm such a wasteland
I'm a fickle stupid being with poor memory and a great gift for self destruction

hurt people hurt people

by

Alena Hack

I think of you in the silences
Between each heartbeat
Killed slowly from the inside out
Because my soul is rent
A picture of menace
Fallen into this river of human misery
And dragged down by its currents
Such violence ripped out my soul
Which made space for beasts to grow inside
I have always felt a deep nagging hollow
At the centre of my being
Where something has most certainly missing
I don't want to be a child of regret
Take back my freedom
Not released back into the wild
I wish I could be the kind of woman who is complete unto myself
But I'm Not I'm lonely and I fear the missingness within me
As if It might expand and cancel me
I know in my heart that I have the most honorable motives for my additives
I have a revolting past that at times still terrifies me to the core
But yet everyday I have to crawl back of those darkest recessess of my former life
Pouring out myself soul, exposing every fiber of my being
For years because of my low self esteem
I had a tendency to try and overimpress
Without really meaning to
Frightened and at times manic
My heart jumps to marathon speed
Hypersonic
Within a few beats of time
My existance only becomes more dark and sinister
An eternity passed
With every day all I wanted
All I craved was to simply belong