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Claire Flower

of

Lancaster, England, UK

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Obsessive Destructive

by

Claire Flower

I want to smash you, I want to save you, I want to break you, and I want to hate you.
All youíve ever been to me is a bearer of anguish, a curse whom Iím doomed to love.
Once again Iím marching down the trash parade of tears,
With a vacant face, and a porcelain heart,
Shattered into a thousand shards of coloured glass.
This decorated girl, with the force-fed smile.
Am I no one to you, dear?
Just another devoted follower
Whom you take into your enchanted bed
When you get lonely inside your assaulted body.
I scream in hurt, I screech with betrayal, yet I cry in pleasure too.
For the simple fact of spending this twisted time with you,
I yearn for you to let me inside your battered mind, but
Your barriers are to well guarded, youíve a lifetimeís lesson in defence.
I know all you will do is cause more scars
Yet I wait once again, out of love and longing, still in suspense
For the next day, that you require me.
I know one day you will need me,
When we both change.


Never the same

by

Claire Flower

Feet follow that familiar path,
in the grooves we made in the past.
Past brick and house, dog and cat
it's been years since, here I was last
under the fence that now is smaller,
perhaps it's me that has grown taller?

Thorns that once were enemies to fight
now are blackberries, purple and ripe.
The secret field is overrun with weeds,
the great big bough is cracked and on her knees.
Stones are stones and trees are trees.
The slimy mud, now serves to displease.
It isn't fun anymore.

Through all this disappointment, do I toil
Just glimmer of maybe does remain
That the den hasn't changed, Itís still the same

This keeps me battling on, through the grass
In desperate hope, I can hold the past
up I run and dodge through the blossom plant
the entrance to The Den, does it grant.

But all my hopes were to no avail
my childish wish, it has failed
It has Changed, Time Has Passed
Nothing good can Ever last.

What I loved at nine and ten
at seventeen never can be the same again.

Smiles and Lies

by

Claire Flower

Smile for the camera,
Youíve got perfect hair,
A perfect look, a perfect life
a perfect lie, a perfect dream

Little teenage beauty queen,
with broken hearts, upon her sleeves
The real her cannot be seen,
To show her true self would be deemed obscene.
Her minds filled with grief
But
She must still go on
Nothing inside her mind is allowed to be wrong,
Like a caged bird, she cannot fly or fall
Through the camera, she will smile to us all.

May I question her perfect face?
What would happen if you fell from grace?
Who will be there in the middle of the night?
When you cannot pretend, live out a lie
or let down your barriers and actually cry?

She knows in the end, she will lose her fight
But all she does is try out another diet,
In eager hope the media will buy it.
There's a building in her world, and sheís at the top,
From its balconies she wants to drop
But
She must still go on
Nothing inside her mind is allowed to be wrong,
Like a caged bird, she cannot fly or fall
Through the camera, she still smiles to us all.

May I question her perfect face?
What would happen if you fell from grace?
Who will there be in the middle of the night?
When you cannot pretend, live out a lie
or let down your barriers and actually cry?

From her eyes comes the silent plea,
that someone will reach inside and set her free,
like a caged bird, she cannot fly or fall
through the camera she still lies to us all.