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Ruthy Faith

of

Madison, AL, US

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The Break Up

by

Ruthy Faith

People, places, in my head.
I am dreaming, on my bed.
Yelling, screaming, terribly!
Was it them, or was it me?
Startled, waking, while Id slept.
My pillow soaked; tear-stained; wet.
Id lost my perfect reverie.
And every teardrop was a memory.

People places, now I see.
It was you, and you with me.
Saying things you did not mean.
"I love you." Yet now it seems,
That you were simply building dreams.

People, places, GO AWAY!
This pain I feel is here to stay.
You smile, and wave, and say goodbye.
And yet it all was just a lie.
And all I want to do is cry.
My heart will surely quickly die.

I thought you would come back someday.
But it was just a game you played.
And on my heart,
My fate you laid:
This sadness that engulfs me everyday.

All I can see is your beautiful eyes.
And beneath it all, beautiful lies.
Ive lost my perfect reverie.
And every teardrop was a memory.


Different

by

Ruthy Faith

Dark. Light.
They are distinguised as a match in the night.
And for which will I fight?
And possibly give up my life?
Is there no end to this strife?
Staying alive takes all my might.
Have I simply lost my sight?
Lost my track? But which is right?
My fists are clennched so hard and tight.
And yet my soul is like a kite.
Never returning from its flight.


My Path

by

Ruthy Faith

The light I see is so inviting as I begin the path to my own destruction.
This is my path, and I see it as short.
I have fought the whirlwinds of despair until I have no strength.
My path shortens.

This air of happiness falls away, because it is not real.
The sadness becomes evident on my face and it engulfs me like flames.
My path shortens.

I feel so empty that I fill myself with anger and hatred to make myself full.
My path shortens.

It eats at me like a cancer ravaging my soul.
My path shortens.

He pulls me back!!! God, he is so selfish!!
This was my happiness, this was my escape!
And yes, I am alive, in body.
My heart beats the same as it did yesterday.
My chest moves up and down with the rythmic motions of my lungs
As they breath in and out the same air that was there yesterday.

But the light is gone.
My path is at an end.
And yet I move on.
So now I have to find my way on my own.
There is no path there to guide me.
I am a wandering child in a desert of my own demise.
I am alive, but I am not living.
That part of me has died.


Pulling Me Back into My Quiet Darkness

by

Ruthy Faith

PULLING ME BACK INTO MY QUIET DARKNESS

The ocean softly calls me name.
"Come to me, relieve your pain."
My hope is like a fragile flame
In the path of pouring rain.

The gentle waves lure me in.
And all I want is just one swim.
And if death takes me, then let it be.
My pain has finally been set free.

To the waves I toss my soul.
Leaving me only partly whole.
This rain that melts me is so cold.
And on my life I have no hold.

The only thing worth fighting for
Is lying dead on the ocean floor.
Therefore I shall fight no more.
And to my heart, there is no door.

As I prepare myself to dive,
Someone I love pulls me aside.
I try to say my sad goodbyes.
But he forces me to survive.
And I hate him from deep inside.
"This was my escape!" I cry.
And a part of me, this night, has died.

Pull me back for your own sake.
I will be breathing when you wake.
But my soul the ocean take.
And this smile I will not fake.
And in love I lost my stake.


Whole

by

Ruthy Faith

The arbor is hazy with a thick fog that mimicks my soul.
Two birds walk by, laughing.
And I reach out to you, and then I realize that you aren't there.
You were never there.
You were there in my mind, in my heart, in my dreams.
But in my soul you could never be.
For I now have none.
I am empty.
My hands.
My arms.
My heart.
And what is man without a soul?
A beast.
And what is love but fear of loss?
And what is loss but fear of love?
So many questions.
The mist clears, and the sun rises.
But the mist becomes a part of me,
And with the sadness, makes me whole.