The Web Poetry Corner
The Web Poetry Corner
Amarillo, TX, US
If you have comments or suggestions for Felicity Evans, you can contact this author at:
Sweetchika152004@yahoo.com (Felicity Evans)
Find a book store near you, no matter where you are located in the U.S.A.!
...the best independent ISP in the Twin Cities
I hate my life,
And all the sorrows I feel inside.
Everytime I try to do whats right,
My life gets thrown from sight.
They dont care abour the good things I do,
Just as long as I dont break their dumb rules.
I try so hard to get their acceptance,
When in the long run Im always rejected.
All I want is for them to say their proud,
Instead they cover their ears like Im to loud.
Their pushing me deep int the dark,
And with every shove they break my heart.
I dont know how to feel anymore,
My life feels like its so torn.
I really dont care what they say,
But yet I kinda do in a way.
I want to give them back,
All their hatred Ive got stacked.
Im just so afraid of wht theyll do,
And more afraid of them calling me a fool.
Every word they say stings,
And they dont even hear my cries of please.
I wish sometimes I could disappear,
But hten I start to think of all my fears.
I dont want ot be alone anymore,
I want to have that feeling deep in my core.
The feeling of acceptance, pride and love,
Like a heavenly praise from above.
I know this might not ever be,
And its taken me this long to see.
Maybe someday in the future,
I can look back at this and all those days.
Ask why I put myself through all this torture,
When I never really should have been afraid.
A child stands alone
A gun in his hand he got from home
The hatred he feels for those whove teased
Thinking hard about what it would truely mean
He feels like he has no one
That feeling of being all alone
What has brought him this far
Is taking the gun and having his part
Take the lives of those he hates
Thinking for them that its to late
They pushed him over the ledge
Over the brink of the ledge
He had not what they felt was right
He didnt act like he was tight
The homies cursed his name
The preppies took his frienship in vane
Theyve pushed him through the years
Now he feels its time to give them back all those tears
The trigger clasps in his hands
While he thinks of his plans
Should he make that one last move
Or hold back just to be told what to do
His finger slightly pushes the trigger down
A kid who sees frowns
He turns to soo who is there
He soon recognizes that taunting stare
He points the gun in his face
With a boom he leaves nothing but his own disgrace
More turn to see
When they do they flee
He counts them down as he shoots
With their bodies the ground he polutes
Stareing into all their eyes
Saying never again will you destroy my life
The sirens cover up the screams
In an instant he knows what that means
He dares not dream of going there
Looking at the gun in his own dispair
Realizing what he had done
Says i was looking out for number one
Once again he clasps the trigger
Says i truely am a peace giver
i took from the world what was no good
In the end someone would
He points the gun to his head
Not knowing there was no reason for him and those to have blead.
In memory of Columbine High School on that fateful day, 5yrs
Through the years of which we fall
Time stands still
Waiting for its call
The desire to move is against our will
The choices we choose
The lives we live
How we choose to win or loose
How much that we give
Time falls against us
Moving through this world
As we decide who to trust
Giving and taking from the lord
Time falls against us all
When we care about material things
While none of us stands tall
We start to let go of believing
Time falls against everyone
When we choose to give or lives
Because we feel alone
We have nothing left inside
Time falls against the world
Everthing we had is gone
We choose to let ourselves be torn
All has been done
As the world no longer exists
We realize what should be
Wishing it was all a lie
Wishing before that we could truely see
Now there is nothing left
But lies and deciet
The future has now been set
The world has taken the final leep
As we fall inito the abyss
The things that happened rewind
Another chance to fix the mess
A chance to change our mind
I hate being here
Every waking minute
Brings another set of tears.
All the people who pretend
To care about how i feel
Are making me want it all to end.
For their selfish unhappiness
Because they refuse to open their eyes and see.
Hate is a dire prospect
Of every sacred moment
Waiting to be put into affect.
Deep into my soul
Until everything is gone.
The knives of deciet
Cut away at my heart
All my life runs to my feet.
Trampled is my home
Because there is no longer love
In the trash the cut up pieces are thrown.
Holding onto the memory
Of the way things used to be.
Past reflections keep coming back
Maken my new life swerve off track.
Addicted to what was then
Addicted to bringing it all to an end.
Closing in on what i know
Knowing in the end there's no where to go.
Trapped in the past of me
Trapped in myself without the key.
The addiction is so strong
And i know its all gone wrong.
I can feel in my heart all the pain
Hoping tomorrow wont be the same.
The noise gets louder inside my soul
The blood in my veins gets ice cold.
Hearing all the voices in my mind
Feeling the clock running out of time.
Addicted to who i am
Addicted to knowing that i cant.
Pouring my mind onto the sheet
Releasing the pressure of who ill never be.
Cutting my flesh
To get rid of the mess.
Knowing there is nothing more
Nothing but the life i live bein torn.
Cant stand to see myself
Happiness and love was never felt.
Cutting up the pieces of my soul
Self confliction is all i know.
Trying my best to stay clear
Of everythingin the world i fear.
Lookin up at the sky
As my heart and mind slowly die.
Slowly my life deminshes from the world
Self confliction was nothing less and nothing more.
Entranced by the feeling
As the blood runs while im kneeling.
Praising the god of the world
The god to who you have sworn.
I drain my blood to clean my sin
Getting rid of the devel within.
To knowa new way
To make everything in my life okay.
Not sure now to react
So i turn to life my back.
Hating everything i have become
Hating the fact satan has made me the one.
Destroying my life a piece at a time
Trying to act like everythings fine.
Looking at myself
Knowing everything i have felt.
The hate comes back to me
Digging inside me its voice taunting.
Clawing at my eyes
Trying to get it out from inside.
Falling to the ground
Falling to hell without a sound.
Pulled away from you
Pulled away with nothing i could do.
Torn to pieces from the start
Trying to mend my broken heart.
You left behind so much pain
Nothing will ever be the same.
Cant changethe past or what will come
The weight of the hurt is a ton.
To feel is not an issue now
You took everything that made me know how.
Learning how to deal with it all
Trying not to loose and fall.
The pain is more that i can stand
When your not here to hold my hand.
I hate being in this state of mind
Cutting my wrists
In hopes of stopping all time.
To see the real truths
In the hateful things you say
About everything i do.
Nothing seems to set me free
Attempting to hurt
Attempting to kill all of me.
But in the corners of my head
I see your face
I see you dead.
Everyday i feel the pain
All the pain you put me through
Everyday i know i cannot be the same.
I have to cover up my heart
In order for me
To tare you apart.
I kill everything you stand for
The hate in me
Is now no longer any more.
The whole of the stake burnt to the end
Waiting for life to sieze me again.
Trecherous monsters of you hate
Knowing conviction is my fate.
Grabbing hold of the very heart of my soul
Killing my mind and leaving me cold.
Demons run through the tunnels of my body
Stabbing my eyes so my vision is fogy.
Controlling my movement through whick i live
Forcing my heart to live in sin.
Seduced to the lure of your lies
Through me you destroy al of life.
Burning life and all its glory
I know in the end i will be sorry.
The flame of the fire burns in my chest
Burning me to ashes till nothing is left.
Holding my life in the palm of your hand
Convincing me to decide where i stand.
Hearing your secrets of amazing divine
Knowing my own life isnt really mine.
A chance to look deeper inside of my heart
A piece of me you cant take apart.
Misery comprimises all of my life
Nothing for me is happy no matter how hard i try.
Born into confinement
Raised without a life
Guarded with content
Held back for all of time.
Never knowing the satisfaction
Of feeling the embrace of pride
Wanting exception with a passion
Something i can not seem to find.
Hiding under the cover
Of a person that isnt me
Living the life of another
Whom will never let me free.
Filled with the resentment and hate
From the life ive had to live
Knowing my chance has already came
And there's nothing left to give.
I hate you all
I hate what you do
These voices in my head
They cant be true.
I hate what ive become
How they've changed my life
I hate being the victim
Tortured by their lies.
The tears ive cried
As im covered with hate
I know i cant take them back
I hate that its to late.
My soul has been tortured
My heart has been trampled
And i wish i could give you some
Just a little sample.
Then maybe you'de understand
Why i hate being alive
When all the voices say go on
Go ahead and die.
The things you say
Will never make me feel okay.
The things you do
Will only be for you.
You beat me down
With only sound.
And with all you say
It slowly pushes me away.
Your words make me hate me
They slowly change who i should be.
Treating me as im nothing
With all your hurtful taunting.
I cant stand who you are
But i hate you when your far.
The things that i say to you
Have always been true.
The only reason you threw us away
Is because you hate who you become each day.
You broke my heart
Took it a piece at a time
You tore my life apart
And i cant figure out why.
I gave it all to you
My heart and soul
To you i was true
You where all i wanted to know.
But no matter what i did it was never enough
I did all you bid
i tried to be tough.
I changed my life around
Everything was yours
Then you knocked me to the ground
Thats when i was sure.
You didnt truely love me
Like you said you would
Its to bad i couldnt see
As i did all i could.
I loved you with all my heart
I trusted and let you in
Then just like that you ripped me apart
And left me nothing but broken.