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Christopher Eberly

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Conshohocken, PA, US

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Untitled

by

Christopher Eberly

Thunder rose on such a bitter day
when the horses came to graze
Through a field of thick, golden wheat
on that field and those horses grazed

My mind was scattered --- but I remembered of the latter
Of the horses in the field.

I held my heart and my soul and my mind
When the horses came to graze

In a minute my soul uplifted and made my mind too clear
Things became unclear
Thick and cloudy...rough and rowdy
When I saw the horses play

Days like today in May I remember,
but cringe at a second thought
So I think of a strange, umbilical queen
and the lessons that she taught

She said, "Donít think too thin, nor too thick
Only cry when your love is sick
Just cry inside when your love is sick.
And look out to the horses
As they graze on the field of golden wheat."



To Amy

by

Christopher Eberly

I see a girl so beautiful, so pure.
Deceive my eyes she must
Why would someone let her go? I donít know.
A sweet chance at romance?
My Love!?
Donít let her go.
To feel so unreal. Iíll take that chance.
And maybe Iíll lose.
Iíll take that chance.
At a sweet romance
And maybe Iíll lose that sweet romance.
If I only took a chance.


waters

by

Christopher Eberly

Sweet waters running. Soft.
In my mind I can see her sweet water running
I can feel her. She is my water to drink.
Lovely blossom bloom

Again to bloom, against the tides that hold
Of a deep remembrance, hold my soul
Blooming soul of souls kept inside of my room

Never to forget
Never to hide


To Janine

by

Christopher Eberly

When I am old and you are old, gracefully in the sun
I'll ponder the days we lived, gracefully in the sun
To hold a heart and let it go, my heart sinks at once
When I am old and you are old

My heart is trying to see to see another heart. A heart that I lost.

Through the happiness and despair I hold
An image that soaks my mind and releases my mind
An image that haunts me
...in a perfect way
An image that seems to make me what I am and what I'll be
A weight that keeps me here

Quatrain, coal train, Polly Ester...have a good time. I won't feign.

A day long ago...Philadelphia Art Museum -- on the steps
Loving every inch of you and loving more as my eyes saw through the fountains

As I looked past the water, I saw you...I wish I had seen you sooner. i wish i saw you sooner

I think I remember your skin, or I hope I do
I'll always remember your skin...and your smile...your face
You live inside of me

I once loved a woman of style and grace.


Strawberries

by

Christopher Eberly

And he awoke
to a terribly, wonderful thing
He awoke
to a bitterly, helplessly thing

So he looked around to the ramshackle beauty he found
And what he found
was a damsel in distress in the ground

But the man
with straw-bitten berries in his hand
Left the blood
from the berries that grow so deep into the sand

He took the berries and the sand and ground
He took the bitterness, wiping berry-blood from his hands

And he so my so me oh my just me just I...

The Strawberries



Lindi

by

Christopher Eberly

I woke up and the Afrikaner came
So happy she was. Laughing, dancing, smiling
She made my heart melt like none before

I kept my melting heart away for a time,
not wishing to be found
(she won't be here much longer, has to go home according to my Government)
But her eyes, dark and round
But her skin, soft and delicious
But her hair, when I touch it and move my
fingers through
... pulls me in
(she won't be here much longer, has to go home according to my Government)

She loves the things I love
Dolphins
movies
songs
life

(but she won't be here much longer - she has to go home according to my Government)

I know.
I'll keep her in my heart.
In there, she can never leave.
In my heart I'll always have her
My heart will always remember


what?

by

Christopher Eberly

When we were small and a blue moon was overhead to catch us silly I tasted things we know but have forgotten to forget my car keys to many cities with the mayor looking haphazardly onward to a depth that many of our have nots have ever seen so slightly in an ear of time but to you my heart and my heart beckons softly to be touched by an angel of mercy buuurrrr cooooo


Non The Less

by

Christopher Eberly

An excited toddler, the man skips down the sidewalk
And holds his hands to feel the friendly warmth
His life so easy...a life so free

A successful man, that's what his father wanted
A healthy man, is what his mother wanted
Alive with joy is what he got

He walks past a busy bus stop
the people become trees
unaware of the fear he has produced
The man passes.
The trees turn to life and count their blessings

A hungry body, he wanders into a store
"I'll have a 'frankyfurder' ", he states
A cold one is shoved towards him
He pays and eats fast
It's time to go home

He is afraid to be out this late
He'll get a beating from the housemother
The shivers down his spine bring back the fear
His cries from the strike of a stick
when it hits flesh

Running does no good
Ahead is a gang of less
"Hey retardo. Where ya goin'"
"I'm no retardo. I'm a grr..grr..grown man".
Those tears burn so much

Up the steps
To the house
Open the door
"Where have you been Tommy?
Don't ya tell me no lies."

"I'm sorry housemommy. But you know how time flies"
And remember housemommy
to your wishes I can't bow
Just keep in mind
I'm a grown Man now".


Lindi - my Love

by

Christopher Eberly

I am in I love with the most beautiful girl in my dreams
Everyday I look out and wish to see her
Too many times wishing to see her

She is my water to drink.
Hold fast says my heart
I'll trust my heart
And drink the water


A bit of everything ;-)

by

Christopher Eberly

An Indian tapped me on my shoulder and he made me look to the stars
So I looked

I saw beauty in the light I saw. I saw a South African night
And the many stars, too many to count
I stopped at eighty and walked with Lindi.

And the Indian followed -- for the rest of my life.
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------
The Clock Always Turns Twelve

The scared huddled to make an impenetrable circle. The elders had gone earlier that evening to meet their friends at a local draft. The clock said eleven.

Summer wind was the culprit, as it pushed and pulled the cape house. The mind can make dangerous things out of thin aroma.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

He smiled and she sang
She laughed and played piano
Wanting in her eyes--he was wanting
But with a swallow, she was gone
Swallowing deeper, choking on the memories of a many year. Wishing and wanting of her laugh and dreaming of her face
so deep dreaming
-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

When I sway to this music and I sway to this music
I sway to the music
Sometimes I'll laugh and I'll sway to this music
I'll cry but don't ask me why
It's the music


To you, if you ever awake

by

Christopher Eberly

To you, if you ever awake

I remember the first time I saw you; you were probably playing football. And I remember those days so vividly. You, Charlie, and me would play for hours. Rumble-fumble, one-on-one (me quarterback because I was too fat too run:- ) We had a special time, but I regret to think that those feelings are reserved for the child in us. We should be able to own those feelings for the rest of our lives -- and that's what sucks. That's life.

I remember the first time I found out you liked my kind of music. I think we made a bond then. You liked The Beatles and I liked The Beatles. For the first time in my life, it seemed that somebody was on the same wavelength as me. And, as I look at it now, I can only think that you were my first soulmate.

Then came our "Days In the Woods." Sounds like an epic, doesn't it? Those were grand times. We built majestic forts in our woods, we played games of war, we sat and talked of girlfriends, and we became closer. We experienced the freedom that made us who we are. You were my GOD because you had sex for the first time. I know I was jealous - and I think Charlie was too. I looked up to you. I looked up to many of my friends because, what they had, I didn't have. As the life crept upon us, I think we began to realize the essentials that would later change our lives.

Jesse, you have a father who takes interest in you and who do things with you. And a stepfather who loves you. You golfed, you fished, you played tennis, you skied, and you had a mentor on the guitar. I always felt that you had so much more than me. I admired that, but at the same time, I was also jealous of it. My father didn't really seem to care. He wasn't a bad father but I felt that I was something he really didn't want. I felt that I was just something he wanted to grow old enough so that he could leave. But that's enough of my shit - I know you are facing more.

I have tried to feel what your mother is feeling but I can't. Neither can you. We don't know what it means to grow you in her body for such a long time, to nurture you, and to see you lying there as she feels so helpless. She holds your hand and hopes you will be all better and she wishes that you can see her and tell her that you love her, even if it's the last time.

So many emotions right now, I'm pissed, angry, torn, I'm feeling callused, exhausted, I'm feeling neglected, lonely, tired, sad, so sad. I wish I could hold you. I wish I could tell you I'm sorry for missing all of those shows I promised I'd see you at. But right now, I wish I could lay next to you and tell you that everything will be OK. It makes me want to hate you, so much. But in my heart, I can never feel that, never feel those words again.

Remember when we were arm-wrestling on my table---and you let go (my arm smashing to the table) - I said "Fuck You" but I really didn't mean it. I hope you can feel that. We were just children on the round hill playing kings.

And many years have past us both since the days of young. We've both had deep relationships, battled demons (I know yours, you know mine), and traveled deeper into our lives. Our lives, what does that mean? Is this where yours ends? So many emotions, I hate you, but then I cry. I wanted us to be two old men, sitting on a stoop together, playing guitar songs and talking about the past. It was a good past. You have to fucking admit that, you bastard.

You are the best friend. You make so much effort to see us and, even if you don't feel it. You can light up the room. You bring life to the party and you make me laugh. Haven't you noticed that every time I see you I give you a big hug? I only give those hugs to people who I truly love.

My emotions are here again. I feel like hating you, I feel like crying, sobbing, wanting to lay next to you and tell you that everything will be alright. I know why this happened. Many times I've felt the same way. Many times I've been alone, distraught, shaking, trying to cry and make it go away. Struggling not to cry. Trying so hard to be "normal." Trying so hard to see another day, because I want to see you again.

Today, the second day, I left work and looked up at the sky, missing you again, crying. No, I wasn't looking at GOD (we don't believe it that, do we - well I guess you know better than me now.) I was looking at all the things you were missing. It was raining, but rain is awesome. The wind was blowing and there were rain clouds. Wispy and high in the sky. It was cold but I thought of Stone Harbor and our times there. As I walked, I could see the sand under my shoes and I heard your voice as a Frisbee would come sailing over my head. I heard your laugh as a big wave approached - and crashed over our bodies. Our beautiful times on the beach, on the porch, and with our friends. I thought of what we were missing and I so hoped that you would be missing them too. I hoped that you had loved those times so much that it would make you all better. I was going to ask you if you wanted to rent the house this summer. I began to cry. Fuck that, I have to be strong right? I feel like falling down and crying.

To be strong is hard, especially when someone like you is gone. I feel so weak, unable to think of those times. To feel that the warmth of knowing you, knowing you will always be there, may soon be gone. To be my best friend and laugh with me and remember with me and be introspective with me (you introspective mother-fucker.) I feel so small and it hurts.

Right now, in my rodent-sized brain, I believe you are OK. I believe that you are the old Jesse, taking a nap. I want to believe that you will wake up and say, "What the Fuck! I'm alright, fuck off." But I'm starting to lose that belief now. I'm starting to feel like an insignificant pawn in your life. Like you've played us all because of your feelings. Like you didn't care about us, how do we feel? Did you want to change our lives?

I don't want to lose you. I don't want us to be this way. I just want you back. I want Jesse back. I love you.


My Lindi

by

Christopher Eberly

Lindi my love
So far away when I want to feel you

I talk to myself as if you are here
I look to my left but you are gone

Each time I smile so big
Because I dream of you

You are my water to drink
Please marry me
And our children
They will need a mother as special as you.

I will dream of my Love
Of my Lindi


When I was Green

by

Christopher Eberly

Once I was green like a machine, like a hopper in the sun.
When I was green, life was so much fun.
And when I turned yellow, things became more mellow.
Responsibilities - possibilities became one
And with Red I feel that I know my head_or my head knows me.
Once when I was green like the perfect tree.


Untitled

by

Christopher Eberly

SHE'S A MENTAL, MENI...AL GENIUS. AFRAID OF HOUSFLYS. WONDER IF HER HEART BROKE. CO-LOGGED WITH LESTRAL. STUFFED WID HOME PIES.
on A CERTAIN SORRTA LEVEL, AWAY FROM ALL BUT MOST THINGS
SHE KINDDA WANTS TO SHOW ME
VAGINA AND HER she THINGS...
VAGINA AND HER "she THINGS"...

Bitten down. Those ropes tell me. Sinew-strongless long since a day
Beans gone. I wish a much about yon hair
To feel such a sight makes me militarily might
But_so_soooo down
Enveloped at the top
Look at it!
Stab the life
Maybe itíll POP