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Madeleine Ebacher

of

Camas, WA, US

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On Sorrow

by

Madeleine Ebacher


I once wished to dig an unmarked grave
and place all my sorrow inside
hide it under layers of muck
press it under foot
wash the black from my hands.
every terrible, lonely moment
every damning mark on my body
it would chill underneath me
safely out of sight

my past to be decomposed, and then dust
and then something nobody would remember

when dreaming these things
I would walk about and feel
I was close to touching something
about to be enlightened by some universal Truth
and I would "live"

but the fruit I tried to avoid
I ate every moment
half buried, I writhed
my sorrow was depthless when I lived only for happiness
my alone-ness was complete when my only wish
was to be in someone’s arms
it was no life, it was no joy
my darkness had consumed everything

I wept and unburied my heart

I found that sorrow is like a shadow
it follows you, and defines your shape
to ignore it leaves you wondering
where the sunlight comes from

it is the negative of a photograph
the space that is not space

even the ruins of happiness
their crumbling, decaying remains
are places that should be remembered
and in the end, forgiven

in the end as I briefly glance backward
taking in the spectrum of my life
I have found that in many ways I am nothing
I am insubstantial
without each terrible, lonely moment -
without the living I have endured.


Blessed Earth

by

Madeleine Ebacher


I want to write my name in the fiber of your flesh
to move my muscular hands through you and build a place of peace
I want to etch my symbols upon your sacred burial grounds
into that blessed earth
and know for sure that by this we will always be
however distantly
entwined

Untitled

by

Madeleine Ebacher

everything is a Valentine
Her to me, me to Her
everything is a joyful shout
everything is Her laughter
everything is grace

everything is that flood
the tears from Her weeping
dust from Her wild wing

everything is that six footed dance
as She moves me
away from self
toward Her

everything
Her and I
her wings beat
my heart beats

Together, up
to blinding light
to wanting and having
made one

Untitled

by

Madeleine Ebacher

everything is a Valentine
Her to me, me to Her
everything is a joyful shout
everything is Her laughter
everything is grace

everything is that flood
the tears from Her weeping
dust from Her wild wing

everything is that six footed dance
as She moves me
away from self
toward Her

everything
Her and I
her wings beat
my heart beats

Together, up
to blinding light
to wanting and having
made one