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Nicola Craven

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Sydney, NSW, Australia

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Conversations with a friend

by

Nicola Craven

Constantly expressing our doubts as to whether
our first love can be replaced.
I am sceptical,
yet comforted by the fact that your feelings are not dissimilar to mine.

Can something which feels so solid,
so embedded in your person,
simply be eradicated, and replaced by something new.

Why am I so sceptical?
Because i feel that authentic love cannot be superseded.
It cannot be replaced by a new, revised edition.
It is not a tangeable thing like a car,
whose continued existance relies on the fact that it is the subject of constant updating,
in response to the demands
of an ever evolving world.

Love is an intangeable emotion.
Mine is personal to me,
but I hold no reigns to relentlessly drag it back into the tightness of my clutches,
when it is galloping beyond the realms of my control,
and influencing too many facets of my life.
One cannot simply take hold of love,
and manipulate it to suit the needs of any given circumstances.

You gave it your heart to exist in.
It made it a home,
and like an oyster whose shape is moulded by the ridges of its shell,
it is comfortably embedded in your physical, emotional and spiritual person,
and given free reign to conduct its existence.

It conforms to your bodily shape,
and administers its breaths in unison with the throbbing of the organ in which it thrives.
That organ will beat till my last breath marks the end of my existence as a being,
until my own private human eternity transcends its life on earth,
and enters the phase of entire spirituality.

That is why my love feels eternal.


I hope you like this

by

Nicola Craven

Nicola don't just be sceptical be certain
A first love can never be replaced
nor can it be re-visited or re-invented
it is the most pure unadulterated feeling imaginable
only spoilt by growth in different directions
only the lucky never feel the heart piercing all encompassing pain for it's loss
the agonising mourning of it's demise and accompanying loss of innocence
only those who grow together
fulfil each other forever

Feel good that you have loved with the depth that you have
feel confident that you can rightly aspire to an even deeper love I say
one which has no need for secrecy
where agendas are transparent
where selfishness and selflessness are one in the same
one which doesn't supersede but magically becomes more as clocks tick and calendars pass
for they will be mutually exclusive and aren't to be compared

Embedded in your person so it will be
but you'll grow beyond that person in time, as you'll see
like the stars you'll constantly grow and expand
you'll need greater loves to fulfil you
please understand
because I look at you now with hope in my heart
that you may move forward with me and so we can start
a lifelong love, overwhelmingly strong and true
I think of nothing else but making this offer to you
Nic no one has touched me so deeply and strong
just read my soul, I know it's not wrong.

A reply from my love potential

by

Nicola Craven

Don't just be sceptical be certain
a first love can never be replaced
nor can it be re-visited or re-invented
it is the most pure unadulterated feeling imaginable
only spoilt by growth in different directions
Only the lucky never feel the heart piercing all encompassing pain for it's loss
the agonising mourning of it's demise and accompanying loss of innocence
Only those who grow together
fulfil each other forever

Feel good that you have loved with the depth that you have
Feel confident that you can rightly aspire to an even deeper love I say
one which has no need for secrecy
where agendas are transparent
where selfishness and selflessness are one in the same
one which doesn't supersede but magically becomes more as clocks tick and calendars pass
for they will be mutually exclusive and aren't to be compared

Embedded in your person so it will be
but you'll grow beyond that person in time, as you'll see
life the stars you'll constantly grow and expand
you'll need greater loves to fulfil you
please understand
Because I look at you now with hope in my heart
that yo can move forward with me and so we can start
A lifelong love, overwhelmingly strong and true
I think of nothing else but making this offer to you
Nic no one has touched me so deeply and strong
just read my soul, I know it's not wrong.

signed my future love

Burnt by rays of Sunshine

by

Nicola Craven

How dare I stare at the sun
Adore your shining light
Look through the gates of heaven with wonder
I tried to look away
But was caught by itís glorious tractor beam
I succumbed
And the gates of my heaven then closed
I have knocked and knocked on itís doors
But you donít answer
From a free flowing river of shared thoughts and feelings
To a baron desert plain as you closed your heart to me

Now I wonder
Was I wrong
Was it real
Will it ever be real
I remember the brief certainty
The sense of meeting my soulmate
Nothing has ever felt that real, although brief
No one else has made me question so much
Can we let ourselves believe in something so glorious?
Should we settle for something less?
Hoping in time it reaches our depths like you have immediately done to me?
I know I hadnít earned the right to stare
Perhaps I was invited to glimpse?
But you invaded not only my soul
But my thoughts of the future too
And your flicked switch
The closing of your heart to me
Leaves such a void
And whilst I manage to still enjoy some of lifeís offerings
Numb, lost, empty feelings now dwell within my heart.

Courage

by

Nicola Craven

Courage is being true to yourself and others
Itís looking a person in the eye whether in a comfort zone or not
Itís standing tall, accepting your strengths and weaknesses,
Prepared to delve into unchartered waters
Itís not overcoming, but rather facing the fear of the unknown
The uncertainties, the risks and challenges
Itís honesty.

I have lacked courage in the past
I have clung to outdated notions
Lived my life in a little box
Never extending myself fully
Itís so insipid
So uninspiring
Life becomes so trivial
Itís but an existence

Nicola you arenít an outdated notion of mine
But you are an unresolved question
One Iím determined to solve
Our connection is still there
I feel it, and feel you do to
I understand your fears
And hope to help you win your battles
I hope you can find your heart
Your soul
And step outside of your little box.

It hurts 151004

by

Nicola Craven

Should I hurt like this?
It really does hurt so much
Itís a constant ache
Ever-returning thoughts of you
And a sickness which makes my eyes moisten
I donít know how I should feel?
I am no expert
I just know I crave a shared glance
A word from you
Another inkling of your mindset
Or a clue as to your happiness
A sign of your destiny
And another vision of you.