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Travis Ray Cole

of

Chicago, IL, US

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Up Yours,You Lesbian Ho

by

Travis Ray Cole

Up Yours
You Lesbian Ho
I wanted to marry up
but not no mo'
I'm tried of waitin'
to woo You proper
while You spend quality time
with a lumberjack lady
that likes to call the coppers
Up Yours

Life's To Short To Write Love Poetry To Oprah Everyday

by

Travis Ray Cole

Life's too short
to write love poetry to Oprah everyday
You know that I love Her
but it doesn't do Me any good
She never takes Me any place
lifes to short to wait and wait
Oprah doesn't know I'm alive
but still I write and write
day and night
with no light at the end of the tunnel
no Oprah to call mine
and just so You know
I don't want Her for Her money
'cause that wouldn't be right

Not Really Ready To Clean Up After Myself,But I Wanna Marry Up To Oprah Anyway

by

Travis Ray Cole

I'm not really ready to clean up after Myself but,
I wanna marry up to Oprah anyway
I'm sure She's got servants
and I don't think they're trailer park
Oh yeah,I'm still looking to get My laundry done
still wanting Oprah to be My only one
I'm sure She's got servants
gonna hang out with Oprah's French Maid
the night She gets paid
hoping sooner or later
I might get..hey!
I'm not really ready to clean up after Myself but,
I wanna marry up to Oprah anyway
I'm not really ready to clean up after Myself but,
I wanna marry up to Oprah anyway
I'm not really ready to clean up after Myself but,
I wanna marry up to Oprah anyway
right now today
I don't want no stinking prenups
let Me carry Your purse
I'll look after the maid
while You's go on to Church
work it

Big Fat Nasty Bitch Boo Won't Answer Her Phone

by

Travis Ray Cole

Big fat nasty bitch boo won't answer Her phone
She won't take My call
think She knows what I'm calling about
to find out where that Crack Whore's gone
have You seen the Crack Whore
just tell Me
where can She be
She sold My heart for a crack rock
and it turned out to be a peanut
Big fat nasty bitch boo
big fat nasty bitch boo
pick up
pick up the phone
pick up
pick up the phone
Big fat nasty bitch boo won't answer Her phone
She won't take My call
think She knows what I'm calling about
Yeah She's dry but She's got some dro
I'll help Ya get rid of that
Big fat nasty bitch boo won't answer Her phone
She won't take My call
think She knows what I'm calling about
a blonde thats five foot seven inches tall

Sweet Bertha Throwed Off her Coat And Kicked Off Her Shoes

by

Travis Ray Cole

Sweet Bertha throwed off Her coat
and kicked off Her shoes
a second later Her Momma's Welfare Caseworker
was in the floor cussing about it too
Sweet Bertha took off them
dollar store ear rings I gived Her
and stepped on Her Momma's Welfare Case Workers face
then We all climbed into Sweet Bertha's air conditioned John Deere tractor and went into town
over to the Applebee's

Sweet Bertha Runned Off With A Chili Bean Picker

by

Travis Ray Cole

Sweet Bertha runned off with a chili bean picker
no She ain't been back
He gived Her a great big sombrero
then He walked Her over to the clinic wearing it
Sweet Bertha runned off with a chili bean picker
took Her link card too
I don't know where they is right now
but I bet She didn't buy no food
Sweet Bertha runned off with a chili bean picker
They say He was the one who reuphostered Her tractor
She drives it down the middle of the road
five hundred peoples behind Her honking
wish She would go a little bit faster

I'm Ready To Marry Up To Oprah Right Here Right This Very Second(Government Cheese Or Not)

by

Travis Ray Cole

I'm ready to marry up to Oprah
right here,right this very second
stop Me before I get to begging
I'll take My Welfares
and spend it all on You
Oprah won't You be My Oprah Boo
I'll take My Welfare
and spend it on Your Momma too
meet Me on check day
I'll get You some new shoes
I'm ready to marry up to Oprah
right here right this very second
but You gotta quit Your job
over at the television station
'cause no woman of mine is gonna be working
You'll get Me cut off foo
I'm ready
He's ready
I'm ready
never mind going steady
I know You'll be true
I'm ready to marry up to Oprah
right here,right this very second
stop Me before I get to begging
I'll take My Welfares
and spend it all on You
and rub government issue cheese all over you
under the full moon
Oprah won't You be My Oprah Boo
I'm ready to marry up to Oprah
right here,right this very second
stop Me before I get to begging
I'll take My Welfares
and spend it all on You
Oprah won't You be My Oprah Boo
I'll take My Welfare
and spend it on Your Momma too
Oprah Boo
I'll take My Welfare
and spend it on Your Momma too

I'm Gonna Get Some Teeth Like A Cop Or Oprah When I Gets My Medical Card

by

Travis Ray Cole

I'm gonna get some teeth like a cop or Oprah
when I gets My medical card
My Case Worker says They won't pay for them
then She wrastled Sweet Bertha out in the front yard
right in front of the trailer
out there where Sweet Bertha ripped apart an aligator
with Her bare hands then She whooped
then She runned off with that French Fry Machine Operator again