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Matthew Eli Cogley

of

Independence, MO, US

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All This Time

by

Matthew Eli Cogley

Ah, the memories
a young man, acting like a boy,trying to be so strong.
talking the talk , walking the same, but not moving quite real.
the truth eyes always do reveal.
so, no contact made. internal, external, eternal.
eyes or hands, heart or mind, one can't break what one can't bind.
you can't break what is broken, but you can indeed shatter the fragments.
you can take what you find worthwhile, but to even the owner
i'm sure it is of the slightest value.
DAMN YOU!
Damn you and your ways!
Damn each ecliptic day!
Damn you, for breaking the chain and running away!
Damn You for being me, might be what the lips say.
How long?
How long is the road of pain?
How long have the tears sang? Pouring so quickly,like a fall from a cave, like a thirst in a storm,
like a birth of still-born. like fear stricken shame.

HOW LONG???

Ahh,
the memories.
the stories
the glories and fails.
on the sea of life the winds of time blow forth the pride torn sails.
there used to be a shelter from truth.
i believe it was a cave, of berry-black hue, with the dweller, so blue.
whose light, was just a spark from a snow fringed coal,
whose warmth the stone walls stole.
Can't tell if resident is man or mole,
life or death,gasp or breath,unattentive or deaf.
maybe blind at best.
What a shame.
what a shame to see the realistic horror of truth.
to know that for every wildflower in bloom,
too many are looked upon as weeds.
no time for needs
no aid for bleeds.
no nurishment for seeds.
no thoughts , or looks.
just tainted hooks.
just tainted minds,
lust painted vines climbing and clinging to the fortunate host who gets the blessing
of having its very soul intruded upon.
confusion grows strong.
the truth, some prolong.
precious moments, now gone.
life goes on.


Untitled

by

Matthew Eli Cogley

yes
there is love

here is pain
confusion push forth the silence

i know
i'll never be the same

Did I do that?

by

Matthew Eli Cogley

From the start, yes I know, to judge it so is so silly.
I couldn't stop the flow.
lost control.
it's my fault?
Hell no. It's not really.
Such a tight hold. I grew cold.
Stagnant, it grew mold.
Truth told, the fear sold a rot plot.
If I don't let go it will kill me.
Got lost in the plot of a soul.
the smoke, it did fill me.
What I got I had sought.
Didn't talk.
Blamed the lot.
There's no real me.
I never really wanted the reins to tame manes.
Slipped on the moss of a loss that framed shame.
Caught in dark thought of a brain that feeds veins, the loss of have-nots, in a game that breeds pain.
Down came the rain and I perceived it as a gift from Heaven.
No matter what the situation, they can't get in if I don't let em.
I gave you all you wanted.
Turned from victim to a felon.
So far gone from safe to harm.
silent alarm.
anger grows but no yellin.
With bitter moves I choose.
while this noose is too loose to have purpose.
But tight enough to choke the hope of its host
all thats heard are hard curses.
I herded all that hurt past the brink, to disservice.
Cheesy smile turned to curd, as I slurped from cursed thermos.
The bottom of the barrel busted.
These crabs demanding action.
Need nabs and grabs the past.
My thinking cap relapse, I start blastin, your name and cast the blame.
Clappin fast.
but these laughs, I can't catch em.
Even though debts' interest grows, what is owed,
there's no snatchin.
Bottled are the words unheard, fueling fire.
I stopped blazing.
Insanity is repetition and expecting something changing.
When living in a world of lies the truth is so amazing.
I realize, to my surprise, that the hole was so gaping.
With bitterness and blinded eyes, my disguise, was my making.
With mask, relaxed, I bask and ask the facts about the tax my soul is paying.
And question the authority. while glory seems forsaken.
How came to be the woah in me?
But the blame I ain't taking.
No relaxin.
Time for Action.
No time for guilt or pity.
Batten down the hatches now, a storm is brewing deep within me.
Even if you choose to doubt, I guarantee one day you'll feel me.
Challenger Deep, up Everests' Peak,
I embrace the whole journey.
All the pain and rage I cast, no longer does concern me.
For now, at last, the past has passed. Myself is all I will be.
Finally I see, God's gift in me.
The soul of yours truly.