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K. J. Chase

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Vancouver, BC, CA

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that word

by

K. J. Chase

so many word-ways to tell someone how they feel
but whatever way they convey, real or unreal
spoken or written; some words are never enough
to let someone know how much theyíre in love

_ like, ah, thereís this bubble inside my body
sometimes itís like, in my middle of my chest
others times it is in my stomach
or my throat
in my eyes
i never know what part
the bubble will expand
but when it does
some sort of emotional gah happens to me
like, my breathing becomes shallow
my heart sometimes stops beating
like, hey, is this for real
my vision becomes slurry
thatís right slurry
i get a knot in my stomach
(at least i donít feel hungry)
parts of my body become weak
a certain form of alien like fear
overtakes me, like this can not be
get a freakiní grip
and and and
hey, like what is happening
i can be walking alone with one
thought on my mind when wham
it starts to expand
i can be mindlessly watching
a show and my heart will stop
for a moment and like, iím use to it
its when iím walking or working
or driving, that freaks me up
especially when iím with someone
wow, iím about to explode
imagine that
it come and goes
and my thoughts about this
bubble
all new to me
i call it love
being in love
but other times i look beyond
that word


As I Sit And Think

by

K. J. Chase

As I sit on this mountain, I look as far as I can see
And marvel at the beauty that lies before me
The evening sunset and the morning sunrise
All sorts of wonder beneath the skies.

And it hurts me so as I sit and think
How we are polluting the waters we drink
Cutting the forest, 'til the land is bare
Going across this earth without a care.

Polluting our air that once couldn't be seen
Turning everything brown that once was green
Tearing up the ground, making all sorts of noise
Breaking natures silence on our oversized toys

We've created deserts where once there were trees
Now strong winds blow instead of a gentle breeze
Slaughtered the animals, 'till there are no more
Where once were many, have become a lore

And when this earth can no longer sustain
What some refer to as our domain
Will we find another planet like our own
Settle on it and call it our new home?

Without Desire

by

K. J. Chase

If she held her eyes to me Iíd bind
The space between to not expire
ĎTil by my heart not love sheíd find
But hope that I should acquire
One moment to not speak my mind
I love you without desire.

Surging Silence

by

K. J. Chase

surging silence

tomorrow,
yesterday,
now;
my heart is beating
thoughts of you through my veins
bringing life to thoughts repeating
forever is futures past remains
of surging silence; unwordable memories
that stand alone and unheard
behind the backdrop of reality
a love undisturbed.

For-get-me-not

by

K. J. Chase


I liken love to be a flower
(Iím sure it has been done before)
So love is like a flower
What kind, perhaps the for-get-me-not
That seems befitting to love
It grows, bestows
Beautiful blossoms
They flower and shower
The eyes of beautiful blues
It seeds begin a new life

If something bruises it,
Does it not heal?
If something tramples it,
Will it not spring back up?
If it is eaten, twisted, plucked and burnt,
Does it cease to exist?

Love like the flower;
For-get-me-not.

From Under A Tear

by

K. J. Chase


The raping of the ignorance remains at liberty,
Escaping the laws of Reality.
The Reality seemingly being illusive,
The Reality being seemingly abusive.

I see no resistance...

Is there now no remorse left in life
That's taken the course of constant strife?
Is it now the "one on one"- may the best win;
What's "done is done"- no repentance of a "The Sin"?"

Against the fear...

Ignorance verses "?" , the winner-(perhaps)- the latter,
(But) worse is the romance contained in the matter;
Staged by the quest for the author of silence,
Gauged by the weight of self-sown reliance.

That rapes existence.

But silence hosts the unknown places
That holds the ghosts of home grown faces
That fed the ignorance that quietly laves
The dead into their virgin graves.

Of Your Eyes

by

K. J. Chase


with words that never
will say how i truly feel
when i look into your eyes,
when iím near you,
when iím not.

i want to write words
that razamanaz,
dazzle;
amaze.
to transcend beyond words
that will sing to you,
caress you;
for you to hear,
to sense;
with the brilliant passionate
blue fire
l i f e
like silence
i feel,
i hear,
smell,
touch,
taste;
surging through my body;
electrifying millions of years
of desire,
of passion,
of your existence,

with determination
that is beyond comprehention.
for you to have no doubt
for every word to flow
effortlessly into every fiber
of your existence;
to grip every movement
of your life;
touch the inner sanctions
of your soul;
expand beyond your boundries
Ďtill it pours out of you
and washís upon the shores of my soul.

for you to see,
to know
accept
my world doesnít exist
without you;
my thoughts,
my dreams,
my inspiration,
with every meeting,
with every glance;
every touch,
smell,
with every.....
silence of your existence
becoming the air i breath
to tell you that
when iím near you
those moments
are when i want to
tell you how i feel
not with words;
with a glance,
a stare
a touch,
smile
laughter
when iím not near you
i continue
seeing your eyes...
hearing your voice...
your laughter...
the movement of your body..
smell of your perfume...
your smile...
your concerns...
vererberating throughout my body

from sunset to sunrise
every song i hear
every book i read
every movie i watch
every conversation,
poem
the stars
the moon
the universe
our world of...
wondrous moments
iím distracted only by
my feelings towards you,
all the words
songs,
poems,
stories;
that are written about
in love,
love;
of passion
every expression expressing feelings
with resounding truth
with ascertain of certainty
not one can discribe
to you
for you
about you
how i feel
when iím with you.
when i look at you.
when iím near you.
will these words,
can these words,
do these words,
give you insight
to the inner
sanctions of my soul?

have i written enough so that the three words
exposed so often, so passionatly
and yet spoken carelessly;
with the utmost caution/hestation,
do i say...
i love you
i desire you
i long for you
i yearn

to hold you in my arms
to transcend the boundries of time
to have the silence from within
be heard,
by you,
by me,
by us;
as one...
coming,
bringing,
joining
together the silence
giving a sound to unwordable feelings
i tremble at the thought,
of any thought
of you,
of me,
of us
i hesitate,
yet anticipate
to that moment
for that moment
of that moment.
can i write anymore?
can i compare you with sounds...
I suckled the enlightment of her silence...
with images... She is like the morning star, white fire in blue...
with words of love... The feeling that dwells within my heart is greater...
i could write forever

how do I tell you ?
how do I convey the feelings
when there are no words?!
never before have i been so close
yet so far away
so clear, yet so unsure
so in touch with
what i want to say to you
yet all these words seem
so brief, so inept, so primitive.

eleven eleven

by

K. J. Chase


turning burning yearning rumble and jumble i crawl from passion to my knees
stumble and fumble for more the sure to you your all the same to be to me for me of me
falling sprawling calling palling deeper loves blue true color the hue of my dreams etched the screams
standing lying running walking stopping to still the mind to calm without the truth please
grabbed stabbed rip n tear this loveless night darken means to keen this is love beyond
i have been to the top of the world
i saw the ends of the world
i came up to the down of this world
i am on top of the world
landing standing staying playing the rules of love without the rules of the fools
to look find see dick run but that is not the fun to me be here there that can not feel
i welcome the depth of love to place that mortals deny but call religion
place me set me try me to the job of no denial
and i will still forever and never to be or to not ever be
the same the name the man the plan of the gods i can replace with this love they deny
who am i to say any less than the truth that i try cry mílady
the latter matter you read it no matter how you see
take it shake it break mending a smile as you please
these a b c will always change the same as the last
the poem before of youthful wisdom restrained
i have more than just a pang
i live give presented yes all of you
respected detected in manners unplanned by me

at times i strode a path of roses
with sweet surrender on the thorn
peering past the brambles to the life
that sings of beauty bestowed at birth

words without within shouting bouting gaining straining taunting a choice
descriptive deceptive minds teacher preacher lecher unfolding fears
plying trying lying waste empty hopes to spaces that rears
my thoughtful forgiven moments measuring pause by pause by pause by pulsating years
marring scaring prodding and dotting this image seeming teaming the tears
empty the silence with wordable iconed verbs to see be me my voice
poet know it show pose the muse confuse tooís the will ado
making taking the ends start beginning the a of scene or two
asking basking the question the same leading to be through
brave the maze amazer in the silence wondering to
right left straight behind i stop cease start in front of you
what why who wowederful mirroring image placed before me
a field of sunlit for-get-me-notís jeweled in morning dew
a shooting star lighting the purple nigh
a womenís tender strength and proudly true
a spirit sparking the heat of twilight
a fair lady whose beauty with each passing day
become the stars of heaven so close so far away
a fair lady whose eyes ever before me
like the stars in heavens eternity

i try to rise above the words below the mean
driving strive craving the truth is not by not availing
the pot of gold at the end of a rainbow
at the end where the beginning starts the life anew
fresh reborn to each moment craving away the sights
touching feeling awaken to tempered innocence

so this is christ missed but st nick loves you
and baby time will give you a happy new year
and cupids arrow will find someoneís love be true
humpity hippity hoppity dumpity perdy egg at easter

and so this is life what wonder astounding glee
what with all the wars angry people all free
this must be heaven in brief glorified moments
giving peace on earth a mournful condolence
and wow what is the price set up to the alter
the sacred emblem of confusion
on the eve ill driven shall we all falters
by the fears teach reach each others illusion

but i not i no i reject i detect purge the past
trying plying testing resting in feelings unborn
in the child cometh to be to me my repast
sating my sense with sight sounds felt borne
upon a drifting wave of awareness searching the emotional oceans tide
by the ebb and flow of the universe
why else where i would i could i should i abide

and so there lies once upon a time i meet you
and in the moment of my journey forwards
in the spirit of gaining retaining towards
the truth in purity the life be true
the child within saw the child within
stepped shyly upon a new wave bound
by amazing awareness that i found
myself looking back at me within

and so here lies my first words to you
with words that i plainly declare
giving my truth i could all but bare
if accepted what now must i do
with this feeling that i now speak of love
whenever i look into your eyes
i never leave without surprise
feelings they start to churn and coil
girl feeling they start to boil
oomph baby when i look into your eyes
my temperature starts to rise

i can still see the look on your face of surprise
i told you how i feel when i look into your eyes
and i know it might be hard to understand
what i said i said was so unplanned
and what you donít seem to realize
i fall in love everytime i look into your eyes
and whenever youíre not around
i feel like a nucleus breakdown
i am burning like the sun
girl tell me what have i done
iím in love from a souls desire
burning with passion afire

everytime i find myself in your presence
is time that i fight with a determination
that would exhaust a spirited soul
when all the moments that i tell you how i feel
those moments are as real to me now
as they have always been
arriving to you in ways that i still shy away from
spoken to you as a poet
heard by you from an angel
given to you by a child
all from the body of a man
one and one and one and one equal four
poet angel child man at your door
which one will peer into you your eyes
which one will take away the disguise

the poet:
(i plea ((free) me) let me my quest journey (to ((for ((by you)

the angel:
with silent words spoken true

the child:
complete wonderment of you

the man:
the three plus one always appearing to you