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Each time I smile
I know that I lie.
With my insides screaming,
I drown in the tears I won't cry.

Lost in my black thoughts,
I feel you look at me.
I force my face to brighten
So that you cannot see

The sadness and pain
I keep smothered inside.
I want to let go,
But I cannot confide

In you; you're too happy.
You don't know my mind.
I am so lonely,
It's best that you're blind.

Then I think, maybe,
I don't know the real you.
Is your face a mask?
Am I blind too?

So then, am I really
Alone behind my barrier wall,
Or is this life actually
A nightmare of a masquerade ball?

In Love Alone



My eyes long to connect with your soul,
My lips to meet with your own.
My breath quickens and my heart throbs
As I'm filled with dreams of the unknown.

As my gaze is drawn back to you,
There's a smirk in your eyes.
You've recognized another victory,
And you're throwing away your prize.

You brush against me, oh so softly,
A calculated accident I'm sure.
My body melts then quickly freezes
As my shattered soul cries out for more.

I tear myself away from you
Because, deep down, I know I must.
You already own my heart completely,
I can't give my soul over to lust.

Someday things will change.
My heart will be my own.
I'll be complete without you.
I won't be in love alone.

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This Overweight Body



The costume that hides me;
I play the part well.
The clown suit:
Make them laugh at something else,
But never, never at me.

The barrier that protects me;
I am safely hidden behind,
The suit of armor:
They can't get through to me,
I am invincible.

The ideal country home;
I am lovingly nurtured.
The patchwork quilt:
They all help with the stitching.
I feel comforted and warm.

The award-winning athlete;
I am in constant training.
The unique jersey:
They build my endurance
As their eyes laugh me on.

The school of education;
I am the experienced scholar.
The dunce cap:
They sit me in the corner,
Never knowing that this is where I want to be.

The fairy tale;
I am The Ugly Duckling.
The magic spell:
They say there are hundreds.
I guess it's past midnight.

The children's toy;
I am Mr. Potato Head.
The missing pieces:
They see the lumpy brown mass,
And say, "But oh! What a lovely face..."

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Lord, Help Me Pull Through



I love him,
He loves her.
What did I do
To deserve this hurt?

My dreams are gone;
Shattered, destroyed.
My heart is so numb.
My life is a void.

I am so alone.
Where'd my friends go?
How can they not see?
How can they not know?

My life is a lie.
My pain is so strong.
When did I first hide?
Where did I go wrong?

Why doesn't anyone care?
Why do they hurt me?
Why can't they let me be?
Why can't they reach me?

How will I ever move
From where I am now?
I want to so badly,
But I don't know how.

Please help me Lord,
I beg and I pray.
I don't think I can live like this
For even one more day.

Show me some sign
Of what I should do,
Of who I should love;
Lord, help me pull through.

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Blue eyes glowin’.
A perfect smile.
So many memories,
So many a mile.

From a childhood crush
To an adolescent dream.
You still make my blood pound
And my heart simply scream.

My one true love
Or a bitter addiction?
A blessing from heaven
Or a self-infliction?

Either way,
You’re unanswered questions;
A pesky fly
Buzzin’ round my emotions,

A weight on my shoulders,
A gleam in my eyes,
My lowest of lows,
My highest of highs.

All the lies
And everything true,
These things I love
Because they are you.

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