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Bluecloud

of

Euless, TX, US

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sadheart7_@hotmail.com (Bluecloud)


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A Repellant I Am

by

Bluecloud


You all say you care..
You all say you try..
You all say you do everything you can to make me not want to die..
You say you want me to be happy...
You say you will alway's have me in your life..
You make me feel like what you say is true..
You make me feel that I've got nothing to lose
You made me feel so happy,
but damnit, you lied!

I think deeply everyday, pondering on my next response to you..
I stay up day at night trying to avoid the reality of that fright; the aweful reality of the real truth...
You put on a mask...
You desguised yourself as someone who cared..
You made it seem as though you were as white as snow..
You filled my very home with your presence and kept me at an inner peace.

Nothing bonded by love attaches to me..
A repellent I am....
You weren't the only one; you won't be the last..
Oh, how I loved you...damn did I ever

You helped me stand tall..
You worked on my pride ..
You helped me stand hearing my own name....
You praised me when I thought I was weak..
In my mind..you were holding my hand..
What a repellent I must be!

In my dreams, you were a song forever playing
At night, you were a light..
In the day, you were the way to go..
You were my very energy..and now it's been drained...
You stopped caring..and now I'm back at the beggining...
Goodbye to the process.....
Goodbye to the caress you made me feel....
Goodbye to the opening side...

Oh, you make me feel so many thing's....
Your only but a mere few moment's away..but your lightyears from my life...
You just don't want to be around..but I understand...
I understand far to well...
My whole life is hell..and you have just struck that match in me again..
Thank's for the memories,
I have to live with them now...