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Rebekah Billings

of

Odenton, MD, US

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Another Woman Scorned

by

Rebekah Billings

How do you get over something you had for so long?
Something strong!
Something you thought would be life-long!
Especially when it turned out to be so wrong!

The hugs you gave me,
When I cried!
Those moments of intimacy,
As we lie,
In a place of contentment!

Paying attention to the small things!
Like the freckles youíve never seen,
Or the sounds I make as I sing.

Seeing the blissful!
Ignorant to the things I missed!
Like quiet conversations as I enter the room.
Or that nagging feeling in the pit of my womb.

Shifty eyes!
Tremendous lies!
Ignored!
By me!
Because I just couldnít see.

I couldnít see that Facebook page that you left open and I closed,
Because I didnít want to impose,
On your space!
A space we shared,
As you kissed my face and said "I LOVE YOU."

How am I supposed to make it through?
Without you!
Torn between the feelings of rage!
Stressed about feeling this hate,
That you gave!
To me!
A gift I didnít ask for.
A curse!
A curse I hope to be free from before they set me in that hearse.

My feelings are hurt.
Feelings of love and adoration!
Are burnt!
With a cold fire!
Because you are a liar!
Cold to my needs!
Burning my dreams!
That we could someday be:
A family!

A family consisting of:
You!
And me!
And a ring!
And a baby!
A blessing!
A blessing with both our nose!
And your skin tone!
And a smile!
A smile that lights up a long dark path for miles!

Miles is what Iíve been seeing.
Miles to our relationship!
As we were supposed to sail this ship together!
You as the Captain!
And I as the First-Mate!
But no!
Not anymore!
Because you,
You caused my heart to break!
You,
You left it sore!

You left me wonderings if I would ever have those lovely feelings anymore.
Wondering if I should just ignore!
Ignore these in feelings in me.
These feelings that you gave to me!
As you shattered my reality!
And caused these knees to give out from under me!

You showed me your true colors.
You showed me when you told me about her.
You caused my anger to spur.
Caused my eyes to water!
You caused me to call everyone I know including my Father.

Her!
A home wrecker!
A whore!
This woman with your seed that she just bore!
I canít take this shit no-more!

How do you just move on to another?
How am I supposed to just be your BABYíS MOTHER?
Like some other,
Woman,
Across town!
And Iím sitting here feeling like a clown.
In a circus!
And you,
You are the ringmaster.
The master of lies!
The master of deceit!
The master of making me,
JUST ANOTHER STATISTIC!!!

Statistically speaking:
How many women are raising children without men?
How many young men grow up without a father?
How many brothers and sisters are only two months apart because daddy didnít do his part and think with his heart and not his spare part?
How do I get over the fact that you just stomped on my heart?
And how do I stop it from turning hard?
How?
HOW???

How do I explain to that smile with cheeks like mine and complexion of yours that mommy;
Is Just Another Woman Scorned???
February 25, 2011 1:50p.m.


Another Woman Scorned

by

Rebekah Billings

How do you get over something you had for so long?
Something strong!
Something you thought would be life-long!
Especially when it turned out to be so wrong!

The hugs you gave me,
When I cried!
Those moments of intimacy,
As we lie,
In a place of contentment!

Paying attention to the small things!
Like the freckles youíve never seen,
Or the sounds I make as I sing.

Seeing the blissful!
Ignorant to the things I missed!
Like quiet conversations as I enter the room.
Or that nagging feeling in the pit of my womb.

Shifty eyes!
Tremendous lies!
Ignored!
By me!
Because I just couldnít see.

I couldnít see that Facebook page that you left open and I closed,
Because I didnít want to impose,
On your space!
A space we shared,
As you kissed my face and said "I LOVE YOU."

How am I supposed to make it through?
Without you!
Torn between the feelings of rage!
Stressed about feeling this hate,
That you gave!
To me!
A gift I didnít ask for.
A curse!
A curse I hope to be free from before they set me in that hearse.

My feelings are hurt.
Feelings of love and adoration!
Are burnt!
With a cold fire!
Because you are a liar!
Cold to my needs!
Burning my dreams!
That we could someday be:
A family!

A family consisting of:
You!
And me!
And a ring!
And a baby!
A blessing!
A blessing with both our nose!
And your skin tone!
And a smile!
A smile that lights up a long dark path for miles!

Miles is what Iíve been seeing.
Miles to our relationship!
As we were supposed to sail this ship together!
You as the Captain!
And I as the First-Mate!
But no!
Not anymore!
Because you,
You caused my heart to break!
You,
You left it sore!

You left me wonderings if I would ever have those lovely feelings anymore.
Wondering if I should just ignore!
Ignore these in feelings in me.
These feelings that you gave to me!
As you shattered my reality!
And caused these knees to give out from under me!

You showed me your true colors.
You showed me when you told me about her.
You caused my anger to spur.
Caused my eyes to water!
You caused me to call everyone I know including my Father.

Her!
A home wrecker!
A whore!
This woman with your seed that she just bore!
I canít take this shit no-more!

How do you just move on to another?
How am I supposed to just be your BABYíS MOTHER?
Like some other,
Woman,
Across town!
And Iím sitting here feeling like a clown.
In a circus!
And you,
You are the ringmaster.
The master of lies!
The master of deceit!
The master of making me,
JUST ANOTHER STATISTIC!!!

Statistically speaking:
How many women are raising children without men?
How many young men grow up without a father?
How many brothers and sisters are only two months apart because daddy didnít do his part and think with his heart and not his spare part?
How do I get over the fact that you just stomped on my heart?
And how do I stop it from turning hard?
How?
HOW???

How do I explain to that smile with cheeks like mine and complexion of yours that mommy;
Is Just Another Woman Scorned???
February 25, 2011 1:50p.m.