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Beth

of

Sydney, NSW, Australia

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unrelentingly@angelfire.com (Beth)


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For Pete

by

Beth

Reach out to touch
The air seems thin
Empty
Darkness overcomes those
Sad blue eyes.

Shimmering they run
Why?!? Why do we sit?
Think? learn? love?
Why do we live?!?

We sent it out
All wrong.
I get it back
We continue on.

Lift our feet
Out of the mud
Struggle, fate
Always it's wrong.

Our bodies are drained
Yet full of life.
We have it all
Yet dream suicide..

I am strong
But I am weak.
I need to run in,
Away from the fear.

Hate strikes the bubbling faces
Rips into the hearts.
Nestles it's darkness comfortably
From when we really see the world
And it becomes the start.

The beginning is the end
Of our self-destructive lives.
Do nothing, no love, no kindness.
And can only sit there,
Can't fight it.

Be strong, hold on Pete.


in the mind

by

Beth

I watch, I feel, I am
The broken line whick scars my mind.
My leading hand already told
Fate will hide for me, come
To get me when the line breaks.
My hand maps the way as
I dissapear to nothing...

Ross Robinson into the soul, though
No neo - christian bias
For the bre-bruised and battered minds
These chains still hurt and bind us.


it's time

by

Beth

It's time to see
All the hate that I hide
Yet, for the ones I love
I can't let you inside.
Rescue me before I fall
Force it down
Forget it all.

Can you all see
My place where the god's play?
Inside my head
Where I
Spit on me
I spit on you
Oh happy days.

Hold on I'm falling
Can't breathe anymore

Cause an ocean has
Opened these scars
Need to heal.


Will

by

Beth

Settles in it's place
In my face
Slowly creeping in
It's ruining our days.

"Kak dela shluha?"
These days turned out nothing like
I had planned.
Why not say "suka" or "blad" then?

And will it ever go "tiho"?
If it does,
If not,
Will it be "poka"?


x-rays

by

Beth

Hold me up to the light
To prove their theory's right
Look real hard
Poke through the pieces
Cut me into minute squares
Turn them over
Flush them out
Cleanse, drain
Ignore the evidence
Of course they're right
They come, they go
Blame it on the mind
Not society's soul


Untitled

by

Beth

as i walk I die, I fell not the pleasure, not the love kill me here kill me now forever gone i cannot drown


Sweet Dreams

by

Beth

Anger, Hate, Tears
Stream down your face
You want to go -
To go forever.

Picking up the knife
Light shines on the blade -
A serpent which strikes again
And again

You want to watch
The red flow
Run from your arm
And smile.
To experience the pain
To feel yourself slipping away
Your thoughts in a blender

Then you see a flash
A memory -
The one thing you were
living for
The one thing for whick you cared
Makes you return

You always think of it
And once you achieve your goal
Without them to get in the way
The snake will return
And take you into the shadows.........


To the worlds greatest father

by

Beth

The hate builds the more I
know.
Affairs, violence, arrogance,
Ignorance, dominance,
Agression, self - love
FUCK YOU!!!!!

You love it. You are thankful
For being taught
This f****** up way of life.
F*** you. F### YOU!
You've ruined my life.
F*** you, you've ruined
My mind.


my hero at 27

by

Beth

'I love you, I love you'
You don't disrespect our hearts
Give it more meaning
Create a new start.

Ross Robinson into the soul
Though no neo - christian bias
For the pre-bruised and battered minds
These chains still hurt and bind us.

'I love you, I love you'
Always at the demise, everytime I
Read you heard, read your soul
My heart aches -
To understand for them, Reach out to hold you
Never seen you, and you rest in peace.
No burning or nausiating pain. No fading,
No pain. Live on forever in our hearts.


self tortured adolescent

by

Beth

Why?
Why can't you do anything right ?
Why do you always stuff up where everyone else sees the light?

You say you don't care
About what they all say.
Is that why you always look away,
Why you always go into another space?

Who will save your soul? kiss the rain......


you're f****** lost mate

by

Beth

Don't let me show you,
Or take you to the other side
We're f***** up enough
Are you branded ?
Will you fall ?
The cross will find us,
Hunt us down
F***, we'll laugh forever..........


what i force on you

by

Beth

Well I know you exist
You're the threat to my life,
My existence
My pleasure
You are my pain.

See the reversing backwards
Works for me.
Works for you.
See it all
Fate be true.


survival

by

Beth

Oh I don't mind these scars
Yeah, I hate it all.
What nourishes me destroys me.
And it hurts.
I need it to be alive.

Make love not war
I hate you all.
No one to play my game.
Oh Phil are we all black on the inside?


These scars need to heal

by

Beth

Is it real
Make me jealous
Say it out loud
Deny it like you think you're as good as Elvis.

I say it real.
I hear your words
About her you cannot deny.
What the fuck are you playing at?!?!?!?!

Don't screw me around
I have too much of that shit growing from my roots
Poisoning every inch of my soul only you can save.


ready 1

by

Beth

I thankyou, I smile, I don't know what I really feel inside.
Dragged around the clay not rising forced to see a world not in my sights.
Where we suffer for the world to be easy
Not be happy and free.
Make me sad
Make me angry
I won't be bound by your passion for your family history.


My Gift To You

by

Beth

You sank through
You turned and walk away
Can't say can't feel my
pain
I hide in the shadows of
my broken soul
Watch my scarred veins
run cold

Forced to leave my world
Of boxes and the free
When reality hits hard
It's a world of dreams.
With arms outstreached
I cry "save me!"
then turn on myself
Claiming Jesus don't
Want me for a sunbeam


thankyou

by

Beth

thankyou sorry and goodbye
I've hurt you enough
in my life.


That word

by

Beth

"I hate mum
I hate dad
Dad hates mum
Mum hates dad
It simply want to make you sad"

I hate my past
I hate my future
I hate my genes
I hate being scared because I know how much I'm like him
I hate here
I hate now.

I hate needing to run in to escape the fear
I hate the way I need to justify my life
And death
I hate the things I need to stay alive
I hate the shit that controls my mind.
I hate the hate i feel inside.


.

by

Beth

The juices are flowing
STOP
Black as the surrounds
Of the smouldering fire
Dream
The colour of sunset
It comes
Covered in those
Grey stormy clouds
Why?
look back
No vision
No sound
Empty hollows
Empty world
So much it has
nothing.

Commit behind the door
Sickness of truth
Mirror the picture
Laugh to cling
See the black
in any light
Confused by the yingyang
Attach and de-tach
The low energy bonds
Cannot hold them
together
forever


The two sides of us

by

Beth

"call me!" we shouted in unison
A tear began to form in my eye
I realised.
That wouldn't be the one recieving that call.

Through the wall
We stand
Linked arms
Held hands
Then it all went dark while
The sun was shining bright
You leave me tomorrow
So I don't want to fight.

You leave me here all alone
With tears still in my eyes I still see
You walking through that door.
I'll love you forever
I'll miss you like hell.
So I'll sit here and dwell
On what you remind me of.


Untitled

by

Beth

Whisper in my heart
come,
come dear maestro show me your
talent

the symbol, written
over and over
from my burning soul.
i feel the black speaking to my ear
creeping behind me
all around me.

cant ever believe
not here
not me.
fuck the 'winners', they know
not what they do.
give me those words Mary.
its so real
we are all beyond faith.

oh, baby i'm dying


Untitled

by

Beth

my heart bleed the
weight of my soul
Whilst my mind
tries to forget and
simultaneously
hang on to every moment,
every diamond, every scrap
that could be you.
My anger wants to find a reason,
a scapegoat, something to hate.
My love wants its licence to love you
back again.