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Amanda Bento

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Gooding, ID, US

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Gone

by

Amanda Bento

She has always felt alone
No one to say good night
Instead of good nights it
was always good byes

her parents hated
her she was
a mistake in
everyones eyes.

Being pushed and shoved
around till the day
she met him.

For once she acually
found someone that
might like her,
but now that's
gone.

She is alone now and
forever more sinking
father into her
thoughts now thats
gone and
so is she.



Chosen One

by

Amanda Bento

I know you have chosen many but many is not me. I wonder if my tender heart could set your spirit free. You see me as a something but why not a someone. I may not be perfect but no one really is. You have picked my friends and people of unknown lands. Some how I know in my heart I am the Chosen one.

Never Again

by

Amanda Bento

You left me here cold and empty with nothing at all.
I think about you when ever I get the chance which is usually always. I have so much time I just write scream cry anything to get you off my mind. I have been waiting for your arrival when you open the door and make your grand entrance. I will always love you and will never again love. Not even you.

The Decieved One

by

Amanda Bento

He's dead she's dead is what I heard you say. Today as I hugged you I realized you decieved me. Why? You say friends should be truthful well truthful you are not. You tricked me made me believe every word letter and sound I was like a dummy hanging from a string well now that is over. I dont know if I can ever trust you again look you in the eyes or anything. You are probaly reading this right now and I want you to know you have decieved me. You talked about me behind my back and now I want you to know you know where to locate me the decieved one.

Sanctury

by

Amanda Bento

When I am with him I am in the comfort of my sanctury.
He holds me lets me know it will be alright.
We finally got farther than before the hands, the cheeks, the knee and the lips. He fills me with something that is so fantastic no one has ever felt it before. I want to spend every moment I have with him. I said I was mad at him he asked what was wrong and I melted in my own guilt.People say love is never true when your young but I think that we have proved them wrong. I feel that there is no other way to express how I feel but in poetry. I know that I am safe with him because I am in my sanctury.

Not Ready

by

Amanda Bento

I feel so guilty.I wish I could say sorry and patch up what I did. My friends pressured him and so did I. We still had fun while it lasted. He grabbed my hips and we moved that was the best ten seconds of my life. I knew he was not ready by the way he walked away and then I knew I was not ready.

Happy Days

by

Amanda Bento

These are the happy days. She is always so happy and JUICY.She always knows what to say that will put a smile on my face. She is one of my best friends and she is so juicy. her name is the coolest name I have ever heard Kanessa. Being with her makes these the Happy Days!!

Juicy

by

Amanda Bento

Peple should always want to be juicy. Why should people always be sad when they can be lovable and huggable. Most every one I know is juicy. If you read this dont think I am crazy just think you are juicy!

You Win

by

Amanda Bento

You win! You make so much sense when you write your poetry. You are right. This is hard for me to admit but I am what you call me. I want to be like everyone else so I dress the same act the same and get shunned. When i gave you that hug I did not even take the time to ask you why. I am a judgmental person and I am sorry. There are some things you say that are not true I dont lead a perfect life I have troubles and I am afraid to show them. I so wanted people to like me for some one that was not me an imposter. I have been thinking for a while that I was the decieved one but now I know the truth I am not the decieved one you are.

It Is That Day

by

Amanda Bento

it is the day . The day you left me. the day you broke my heart. Yu left me for another girl that you just met at a party. I was there i walked in on that horrible site it still haunts my dreams. I like to think of this day as the day I find one then lose them the day I lose my true love!

In & Out

by

Amanda Bento

We are so alike in different ways. You want in and I want out. 12 years of beong stuck in this boring town and now all I want is a gateway to freedom. I search for bigger things than a dairy or farm I have dreams too and I can't seem to come back to reality. You on the other hand want back in. You left with such joy thinking good bye and good riddens Gooding. Now that you are actually gone all you want is to come back to this boring old town and be the same. We want different things but yet they are so alike in many ways.

Losing Control

by

Amanda Bento

She is losing it. All she wants is to get out of that horrid nightmare. The things she sees dreams about are so horrid. She trys to escape them but her consionce keeps her inside hidden from what is going on around her. She slowly is sinking into the abyss of her own body. She can't see around her the room is spinning. She is suddenly gone and no one cares she was never very good any way. She lost control.

Leave Me Alone

by

Amanda Bento

Leave me alone. I hate being with you inviting over your friends treating me like a star in the sky just a glance every time you think or sometimes invisible. Once just once I would like to get you back but no I canít because you are gone so much who knows where you are not I you never notice to care neither will I. I want revenge but no I wonít I am to weak to hurt you but all I want to do is yell at you but I bet if I do you will hit me push me tell on me I canít think of things to say that will actually affect you. I am so relieved that you are gone I get solitude for a month or two. You might be over welcoming your visit if you screw up again but no you donít care. We have all tried to warn you how he would treat you that bastard you call your dad. He wonít treat you like a human being I hope you feel how I feel how he threatens you have fun getting hit!!! You did it again just jack off you jerk leave me alone and then maybe I wonít plot revenge.

I Have Changed My Ways

by

Amanda Bento

As I look at myself in the past I think what an imbusule, pretending to be somebody I was not. I look at myself and think how much better I like myself because I finaly seem normal to myself. I hated following or even sometimes being dragged on the floor. I can't believe people actually liked me that way covered in something that hid me from view. There was a wise old friend that made me think so hard because she hated me that way. I thank God everyday now that he sent me such a magnificent friend and now I am happy and filled with glee because I know I can be myself I know that I have changed.

I Wish

by

Amanda Bento

Sometimes I hope and dream that m wish will come true but no it does not. God you have done and did so many things for the world and yourself but why not for me? I wanted so much for you to hear me cream and cry asking for forgivness but you just stood at the side and watched me die and wait for an answer that would not come. I pray every day that you would send a sign or something but no you don't.

Losing You

by

Amanda Bento

I am starting to think you are completely gone now.
We have stopped talking.
when we write it bacomes less and less every day.
you are vaguely slipping and I cannot will not let that happen. I need you to stay in my life you are the only person that really gets me. You understand me and you helped me out of a situation that I completly ignored.
I dont want to lose sight of you or contact.
We may have had a really rough time but that is just part of lifes ups and downs.
I want to remember you as a friend a person that is actually alive.
Not just a memory that I think of once a week
You may not get why I am writing this even though I am sure you do. I am just not happy because I feel like I am losing you.

Ripping Me In Two

by

Amanda Bento

You think it's fun to toy with my emotions like I'm some kind of nothing. This time things have gone way over your head. Things are about to change the winds of change are blowing and not toward you but to me. What you did to me made me realize that your nothing but a nothing. Next time you toy with me I'll toy with you and this time it's not gonna be nice.

Slipping Away

by

Amanda Bento

It was all fine and well in the beginning. Now it's all said and done. What I thought was love was nothing but a mirage. You had me trapped in your heart and you locked away the key. Somehow I seemed to slip away but I decided I needed to get back in. So as I tryed to sneek in unnoticed you found out. Than I said yes to you and you did the unthinkable. You left me without notice and now I hope you notice that it would have hurt me so much less if you would have said no but you said yes and you caused a big mess and I need to confess that you are the reason for this, this pain you caused me. I hope you know I will never forget all that we have been through and I don't mean the good I mean the bad. You called me horrible names and this just did it. You have toyed with me once or twice but this will not ever happen again because I can't love ever again atleast not you and never anybody else the way I loved you. You just destroyed the meaning of young love.

Unreal Love

by

Amanda Bento

You had me trapped in a box and not my own box but yours. I remember when you would tell me you loved me. I was such a fool to atually believe that bullshit. Because later on I realized that you can't love somebody if you don't know them. You didn't know the real me, my favorite color, middle name, or even the true feelings I had about you. You made me believe that I actually had another shot with you. You played me for a fool and maybe you were doing it all along. I knew that something was wrong because loving somebody doesn't make sense in my world. You were to nice, to innocent and way to unreal for the real world. You can't even be yourself in front of your friends and not even me after 2 years and 7 months. Even after all the heartache I caused you and you me I really still truly do love you the real you and only you.

My Emotions

by

Amanda Bento

You push me I pull you. You hate me I love you. You lie I tell the truth. You play me I play nothing. This is what you have done to me. Made me realize I love and hate you at the same time. You twisted me up and I was just straightening out. You left me I keep you. You disown me I want to own you. I want you but I better not touch. I love you and you might not understand but I do.

Nothing but a Fake

by

Amanda Bento

What your doing isn't even poetry it's a cheap immitation. You think you can write poetry about love but how can you if you have never been in love. You weren't in love you only went out out with him for not even a day. You steal from people and you are just a poser yeah that's right your just a poser.

Happiness?????????????

by

Amanda Bento

Do I even feel happiness any more? Did I ever even really feel it. It;s like my happiness was stored in a big bubble and it was deflated. I feel so alone so neglected so nothing. I see nothing but boring nothingness. I may pretend to be happy but I'm not I finally foud out the real me.

save me

by

Amanda Bento

I am living in fear, in fear of next year and those 2 months. I am fearing my life more and more even though a lot of people say i have it good. I fear the people around me cause i'm scared someone might find out and they will think i am a nut job. I gear the sunrise because it is another day closer to when you come again. I fear your voice because it reminds me of that very minute and that stays in my mind for hours. I fear that someone might hurt me emotianally or physically. I am afraid that noone will believe me when i tell them what happened that day. I am afraid taht i might never tell anyone and it will just swell up inside of me like a baloon. I am afraid that i will lose my one and only love because i cant handle my own life right now. I am afraid that tommorrow could be my last day or someone elses or that tommorrow i will lie to my friends and do it again. I am afraid of a lot of things and you are what i fear the most right now. this is why i need somoene to save me.

Stop

by

Amanda Bento

Stop, tell me 10 things you like about me. My hair, my cloths anything that you want me to change well to bad. Stop, have I shown you what I did to myself the pain soothed over what you did to me. Stop, play me a song that reminds you of me. Stop, stop trying to make everything better when nothing you do is gonna get me to forgive you. Stop, have you ever considered that I love you a lot but that could be fading away. Faster and faster the more you make me mad the more it goes away sliding down faster. Stop trying to get me to change my mind and my personality. But the one thing I know you can't stop is me slipping out of your clutches.

Untitled

by

Amanda Bento

Want me to show you what I did to myself. Shh it's a secret and you can't tell a soul. Want to kiss me and hug me and hold me close until the end of the world. Do it I won't keep that a secret. Want me to sell you my soul and let you feed me to the lions. Hell no that won't work. Wnat me to give up give in well screw off jack ass that will never happen.

Somebody

by

Amanda Bento

Another day is wasted
Because she wanted to be liked
Caring about what people thought
Deciding if it was good enough
Everyone said it looked good
Falling to the floor in laughter when she left
Goggling at her appearance
Honestly, they whish she was dead
In days to pass she found out
Jumping and screaming in rage
Killing them but only in her head
Loosening her grip on life
Making them listen
Not caring of they get hurt
Ohh, they thought, what a tragedy
Pleading for her forgiveness
Quickly stopping at the sight of her face
Reasoning with her
Saying how they really do love her
Tugging at her sleeve
Urging her to set them free
"Vengance is sweet" She says
Waiting for her to speak again
X-ileration fills her blood
Yelling at them about what she will do
Zipping them up safely so their beaty never leaves them

Untitled

by

Amanda Bento

pour out your pain
go insane
let them think you are crazy
life is going hazy
it started to slip away
when you threw your life away
with a knife
you caused trouble and strife
you patch it all up
but it just doesnt work
cause her friends hate her
her boyfriend tried to sedate her
then he finlly raped her
this is her everyday life
her boyf

Bitter Sweet

by

Amanda Bento

Somehow I am sucked into all this bullshit.
I just do not want to hear all of their lies.
She is showing me the truth more and more.
Even though I am mad at you I am learning the truth.
I am learning that you just can't believe them.
Ohh, how they talk shit and go back up to me.
I am learning that everyone is a freaken fake.
Not everyone but they just can't seem to be real.
And as every day passes I hate them even more.
Not everyone, just them, those without personality.
So this is really just a poem that says I am sorry,
That I didn't believe you while all I heard was bullshit.
So thank you and goodbye for now.